Chapter One

Tune Up

"December 24th, nine in the evening, eastern standard time." Shikamaru Nara begins, pauses, then continues. "From here on out, I'm shooting without a script. Hopefully, it'll turn out better than my old shit." As he says this, he films his surroundings. He passes several homeless persons on his way back to the loft he shares with Gaara Sabuku, most of whom face away from the camera. He doesn't blame them one bit, but he's making a documentary about the homeless and bohemian population, and he's got to get footage somewhere.

As he reaches the door, however, he scowls. There's a piece of paper taped to the sliding door, and it's probably been there all day, which means Gaara has been inside all day, again. He opens the door and calls for Gaara, who stops strumming his guitar long enough to acknowledge Shikamaru's presence.

Shikamaru turns his camera on his roommate, "First shot, Gaara. He's tuning his electric guitar, which last week he broke out of the closet after a year-"

"-Yeah, except it's not tuning-" Gaara mumbles.

Shikamaru continiues, "- because for the last half a year or so, he's been been in withdrawl-"

"-Wait, are you talking to me?" Gaara glares at the camera, as if it might burst into flames.

Shikamaru smirks, "Not at all, Gaara. Not at all. Anyway, check this out." he says and drops the note atop Gaara's guitar, camera still trained on the latter.

Slightly miffed, Gaara drops the pick and straightens out the note. He screws up his face as he reads it, as if he smells something awful. "Eviction notice. Merry fucking Christmas." He grunts.

"And a happy new year," Shikamaru adds. "What've you been doing, cooped up all day?"

Gaara shrugs. "Trying to write a song. Keyword being 'trying.' I think I need new strings or something, the chords don't sound right."

Shikamaru shrugs. "I thought it sounded fine."

"You've got no musical ear whatsoever." Gaara retorts.

"How about playing something for us?" Shikamaru says just as the phone rings. He turns the camera on the answering machine, which rests atop the oil barrel they otherwise use to light fires in for heat.

Gaara smirks, "Saved by the phone."

They let it go to voicemail. It ends up being Shikamaru's mother, who asks the usual motherly things - Are they screening their calls? How did they like the hot plate, and don't leave it on when you leave the house, young man, you could start a fire. The most embarrassing part is when his father takes the phone and says;

"Hey, listen Shika. I'm sorry to hear that Ino dumped you. But hey, c'est la vie. Let her be a lesbian, you're too good for her anyway. Happy holidays." And with that, the message ends.

Shikamaru groans, "Jeez, what a drag. They're gonna expect me to call them back, too."

Gaara snickers, "Hey, better that than living in their guest room."

Shikamaru trains his camera back onto Gaara, "I'll give you that one. Now how about.-" He doesn't even get to finish this time when the phone rings.

The answering machine picks up again. "Chesnuts roasting on an open fire…" The voice of Sasuke Uchiha floats through, voice purposefully on key.

Shikamaru picks up the handset, "Sasuke!"

"Gaara picked up the phone?" Sasuke asks.

"No, it's just me. Where are you?"

"Look out the window." Gaara opens the window to the fire escape, and they both lean out to find their old roommate standing at a payphone on the street. Sasuke salutes the pair, "Now how about throwing me a key here?"

Shikamaru pulls his own out of his pocket, "Catch," and tosses the keyring.

Sasuke drops it, and Shikamaru returns inside. Sasuke notices the circle of people advancing on him, and before dropping the phone, says, "I may be detained."

"Detained?" Shikamaru asked the following dial tone, "Whaddaya mean, detained?"

The phone rings again. Once again, Shikamaru presses 'talk'

"Ho, ho, ho!"

"It's Kiba." Shikamaru announces, and Gaara swears.

"Hey, guys, I'm on my way over."

Shikamaru smile fakely, as if the other party can see him, "You're swinging by? Great!"

Another smothered exclamation of 'fuck!' from Gaara.

Shikamaru sits next to Gaara on the single couch they own and puts Kiba on speakerphone. "I need rent, boys," Kiba states seriously.

"What rent?" Gaara cuts in.

"This last year or so's rent I've been letting slide.

Shikamaru frowns, "'Let slide?' You said we were golden.

"When you bought the building?" Gaara interjected.

"And we were roommates? Remember, you lived here?"

Kiba laughs dryly, "Yeah, I remember. You, me, Sasuke, and Ino. How is the attention hog, anyway?"

"She's performing tonight-" Shikamaru informs.

"I know. Still her production manager?"

Shikamaru rolls his eyes. "I was bumped a couple days ago."

"Yeah? You two still dating?"

At this, he fidgets. "I was dumped last month." He finally says.

Gaara leans in again. "She's in looooooove." He drawls.

Kiba snorts, "Yeah, right. She's got a new boy toy?"

"Well, not exactly-"

"What's his name?"

Shikamaru and Gaara deadpan, "Sakura."

There was a pause, then a roar of laughter from the landlord. Once Kiba finally calmed himself enough to speak, he said, "I'll be there in a while."

They hang up, and seconds later the power blows.

Shikamaru sighs, "What a drag…"

And There we have it. One Rent-themed Naruto fic, something I promised myself I wouldnt get into but here it is.

Iggy: Dont expect a lot from this. if you've seen Rent, you'll know how it ends. By the way, are we going to watch the firework wars tonight?

Hell yeah! Readers, he speaks of the crazy pyrotechnics across the street and their wars with the people across our inlet. They get better every year, and this time around there've been warning shots all week. 'Review' for firework wars!