Disclaimer:I do not own NARUTO.

A/N:This is the official first chapter.

Prolouge

"Twelve years ago, the nine-tailed demon fox appeared and attacked the ninja village known in short as Konoha.No one could stop it's immense power.Only one man, the fourth hokage, managed to use a forbidden jutsu called Reaper death seal to seal the demon fox in a baby whose umbilical cord was just cut, even though he could've sealed it in himself and take the demon fox with him.But for some retarded unknown reason, he didn't which caused him his life, and the chance the demon fox could once again terrorize the village hidden in the leaves was brought back to life"

Konoha, twelve years later

Naruto!Get the fuck back here!, yelled the ninja that was chasing Naruto.

You'll never catch me slowpoke!, yelled Naruto who was way ahead of the ninja.

Meanwhile at the hokage's office

Lord Hokage!I'm afraid Naruto's at it again, said some nameless ninja.

I am aware of that, but he means us no harm, said the hokage with a happy grin.

Lord Hokage, how can you just let this go by?He's never done anything this drastic before.

He's just trying to ge-

Please don't give me that 'he's just trying to get attencion' shit.I know that already, but what he's done is unforgivable.

What did he do now?Put graffiti on the great hokage faces?, asked the hokage as he took a puff on his pipe.

I wish.He decided that it would be funny to smoke up the maternaty ward at the hospital!

Wow.That is unforgivable.(takes another puff)But he's a good kid, don't worry.

What the fuck are you talking about you old bastard!Is that crack you're smoking or what!

Why, yes it is.

Back at the crime scene

Ah ha!

Aaah!Don't scare me like that Iruka-sensei, said Naruto after Iruka found him.

Why did you smoke up the maternaty ward Naruto!You have to be desprate to do something like that!

What are you talking about?I didn't do anything.I was eating at Ichiraku's when you guys started chasing me.

Yeah right!Everything we get you for you say you didn't do it.

But I didn't do anything!Why do you guys always think it's me when something bad happens?

Well then who else could it be!

At Sasuke's house

Why doesn't anyone pay attencion to me!No matter what I do no one cares!Naruto always takes my spotlight!That's why I hate him!I hate everything!Everthing hates me!, yelled Sasuke as he cried, cut himself, and looked in a mirror saying he was a pretty girl and then passed out due to bloodloss.

At the academy a few days later

I hate you all.You all smell like stale cheese, said a substitute teacher because Iruka wasn't there.I hate stale cheese!I want to kill you all right now!But my mom says that if I kill anyone she gonna spank me.I'd rather kill you all and take the spanking!If anyone doesn't want to continue you can leave.(some guy stands up and leaves)Yes you better leave you loser!You're all a bunch losers!That's why...you all fail!Big time!

What!, said everyone as they stood up to argue because they were gonna take the test to graduate into genins.

You can't do that!, yelled Ino.

I can't believe I failed!, yelled Sakura.

I sucked cock to take this test!, yelled Shino.

All of you shut up!I told you I hate you all.Now get out of my sight you gay bastards!

Outside

What!

You failed?!

That man is an asshole!

You sucked cock to take the test?!But they give it to you for free!, a buch of parents yelled.

Hey Naruto.

Wha, oh.Hi Mizuki-sensei, said Naruto with a disapointed face.

Don't worry about that substitute teacher Naruto, he's an asshole.

I figured that out myself.

Do you want to graduate?

Yeah!

Good, let's talk, said Mizuki as he and Naruto disapeared.

Later that night

Iruka!Iruka!

-nothing-

WAKE THE FUCK UUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!, yelled Mizuki through Iruka's door.

God!Can't a guy masturbate in peace!, yelled Iruka from inside.

What the hell do you want Mizuki?, asked Iruka as he opened his door.

Naruto just stole the forbidden scroll!

What!Where is he!

We're all looking for him, come on let's go!

In the forest

Phew.After all that work, I only learned one jutsu, said Naruto.

Naruto!What the fuck is your problem!!, yelled Iruka when he found Naruto.

Hey Iruka-sensei!I learned a new jutsu!

I don't give a fuck!You're in big trouble!

Why!What did I do this time!

You know what you did!

No I don't!

You stole the forbidden scroll!

What the hell is the forbidden scroll?!

Don't act innocent Naruto!

Elsewhere

Whyyyyyyyyy?!Why won't anyone give me attencion?!, yelled Sasuke who had stolen the forbidden scroll but no one had followed him.Why do they always acknowledge Naruto whenever I do something?!That's it!I'm just gonna stop trying to get attencion and let people like me for who I am!, yelled Sasuke burning the scroll and going home.

Back at the forest

Naruto!Where's the scroll!, yelled Mizuki as he found Naruto.

What the fuck are you all talking about!I didn't steal any scroll!!

Then what the hell are you doing here if you weren't hiding the scroll from us!, yelled Iruka.

Mizuki-sensei was teaching me the shadow clone jutsu!He said that if I mastered it before tomorrow he would graduate me!, yelled Naruto defensively.

Mizuki?What i-OH SHIT!

Die demon fox!, yelled Mizuki as he threw his big ass shuriken.(yes that is new name for that huge shuriken he has)Big ass shuriken technique!

-stab-

"Iruka had blocked the attack with his back"

I-Iruka-sensei...why?, asked Naruto from under Iruka.

Shit if I know, said Iruka who started to cry.

-grumble-

You were hungry right Naruto.-sob-But I stole your food.

That was you Iruka-sensei?You asshole!

I'm so sorry Naruto.

Haha!Iruka, you a-BOOM!!!

Phew, I got him, said a random ninja who had shown up on the scene.

You-you blew him up with an exploding tag?, Iruka asked the ninja.

Yes I di-BOOM!!!

"Iruka blew up the random ninja and took his forehead protector and gave it to Naruto"

Here Naruto, you graduate, said Iruka.

Yeah!I'm a real ninja!Bitches!

A/N:Yes.