This is for Day 4 (Angst) of MarcoAce week on Tumblr. It's late, but at least I finished it! Thank you to Phoenix0725 for her encouragement ^^
The party that night to celebrate Whitebeard's birthday had been over the top, even by the Whitebeard pirates' standards. Even Marco was a bit tipsy, which was quite a feat, but not enough to prevent him from his usual herding everyone to bed. The sun was well above the horizon by the time he was down to one of the most stubborn.
"But Marco, it's too early." Ace drew out the first mate's name, slurring his words.
"It's early tomorrow, yoi. Time to sleep it off. You have watch duty tonight."
"Don't be such a stick in the mud, Maarcooooo." Ace finally noticed that everyone was gone and looked around puzzled. "Where'd evfrybody go? Did they leave wivout us?" Marco sighed in exasperation.
"Yes, Ace, they left. Before we go find them, show me your flames." Ace blinked up at him confusedly for a second then brightened.
"You wanna see 'em? I fink yours're beafu- beautil nice too." Marco raised his brow at the younger man's slurred confession and urged him to his feet. While Marco had to concentrate to even get tipsy, Ace could get drunk just as easily as (some would claim more easily than) anyone else. However, he could burn off the alcohol at any point and be completely sober. Their respective resistance to being or staying drunk made it so they were on call in case of attack during all major parties.
Marco was glad it didn't happen often, though, because a drunk Ace was considerably more stubborn than his usual obstinate self. Luckily, drunk or not, the second division commander was always ready for a fight, and sobered himself up when preparing to attack, whether he meant to or not.
Ace grinned up at him drunkenly and staggered to his feet and almost stumbled over his own feet. He shook his head as if to clear it then burst into flames for a brief instant. Immediately he looked more aware.
"Much better. I think I had a bit too much."
"You think? Next time do that a bit sooner."
Ace grinned unrepentantly and tripped as he took his first step towards the room. Marco sighed and wrapped an arm around the younger man in support as they made their way down to their rooms.
"You know, you could just burn it all off and make my life easier."
"That's not fair to everyone else. I earned my hangover."
"You have a warped sense of honor, yoi."
They made it back to Ace's room slowly but without further incident. After they wrestled the door open, it was Marco's turn to trip.
"Looks like I'm not the only one, who's staying tipsy on purpose." Ace laughed and held out a hand to help him up. Marco accepted the offer of help, but Ace miscalculated and used too much force, pulling Marco until they narrowly avoided breaking each other's nose. They stood chest to chest, noses almost touching, breathing hard.
Ace's eyes dropped to Marco's mouth. He shifted slightly allowing their lips to brush fleetingly. Marco was too shocked to protest or question the brief kiss before Ace moved again. He dropped Marco's hand and wrapped his arm around Marco's neck, pressing his lips more firmly against Marco's. Marco relaxed into the kiss and clutched at Ace's shoulders and allowed the kiss to deepen.
The sane part of him was screaming at him to gather up his scattered wits and stop this madness before it could go further, but Marco couldn't seem to stop himself. He'd been holding back for so long.
Marco gasped as Ace bit teasingly at his lower lip, allowing Ace entrance into his mouth, of which he immediately took advantage. Marco returned the gesture tentatively at first, but soon their tongues were battling for dominance as Marco's grasp on his control slipped further. Ace moaned and fell back on the bed. Marco let himself follow, pressing the younger man down into the mattress.
The kiss became more frenzied as Ace slid his hands into Marco's open shirt and raked his nails lightly down Marco's back. They broke for air, gasping, and without pausing Marco started kissing down Ace's neck and bit down lightly on Ace's collarbone, causing the younger man to shudder and tilt his head back to give Marco better access. He moaned when Marco sucked hard enough to leave a red welt.
Ace's hands grew bolder, and it was Marco's turn to moan when his thumb brushed Marco's nipple. He shifted teasingly against Ace's hardening cock, causing both of them to gasp at the sudden friction. Marco kissed down Ace's bare chest and sucked hard on Ace's left nipple while flicking the other with the hand not supporting him. Ace's hips jerked up, seeking more friction.
"Marco..." Ace moaned out his name, and Marco froze, reality once more setting in. What the hell was he doing to his brother? His younger brother and subordinate. This was wrong on so many levels. He was old enough to be the boy's father, for god's sake. He slowly sat back, resisting the urge to thrust his conscious aside and continue where they left off.
"Marco?" Ace's questioning tone caused Marco to look up. His willpower was instantly tested by the still panting and flushed boy. His eyes were still glazed, his lips swollen and on his collarbone a hickey was already forming. Marco stood up and turned away from the tempting sight.
"I- We-" He cleared his throat. "I can't do this Ace. It's not right." With that, he mechanically walked out the door leaving Ace aroused and befuddled on the bed behind him.
oOo
Ace lied there for a long time, trying to process what had just happened. He couldn't believe it when Marco had returned the kiss. Ace knew he shouldn't have done that but the moment was too much to resist, even though he knew it was presumptuous of him. Marco should have laughed at his impertinence at daring to kiss him. Not only had he not and returned the kiss instead, but he also had participated in furthering the encounter.
Still Ace knew that didn't mean anything. It had been awhile since they'd been to a civilized island, after all, and the man had left as soon as he realized who he was kissing. That was only to be expected, since Marco knew who his father was. Ace help his fingers up to his lips, lightly tracing them, reveling selfishly in the memory of Marco's hungry lips on him. The memory alone was far more than he deserved. Guilt stabbed through him as he recalled the disgusted look on Marco's face when Ace had moaned his name.
He'd been in love with the older man for more than a year now but had promised himself he wouldn't act on it. After all, the Whitebeard pirates might have accepted him, but that was already more than a worthless person like himself deserved. Asking someone to love him romantically, truly love him, would be audacious in the extreme. He of all people didn't deserve that kind of happiness.
Especially with someone like Marco. The blond man had been a big part of Ace's acceptance into the family. It was perhaps inevitable that Ace would fall for him, even if the man weren't so cursedly perfect. It was around him that Ace felt the most accepted, even though Pops was the first one to know his secret. Because Marco was the one to show Ace he belonged in the family.
Around him Ace always felt safe in a way that had eluded him for the first seventeen years of his life. Whenever Marco was there, he was home.
It didn't help that on top of all that the man was ridiculously hot. Even with his pineapple hair. Ace wasn't usually one to pay attention to such things, but Marco always drew his eyes. Ace never felt more alive than when they were sparring.
Still he knew his place. Or he thought he had. That's it; Ace was never going to get drunk again. Clearly, it just lead to bad things. Loving Marco from afar was a luxury, he shouldn't have afforded himself. His feelings might have been inevitable, but he clearly had been allowing himself too much leeway. Now he'd troubled the person he loved with his inconsequential feelings.
Should he apologize? Marco's stricken expression came back to haunt him. It was probably better just to be scarce for awhile. Or as scarce as possible in such close living quarters. Still, Ace had managed to avoid people fairly well during his first one hundred days on the Moby Dick. It shouldn't be too hard to avoid one man. Ace nodded to himself decisively, even as his heart sank at the thought of avoiding Marco. He brutally shoved down the stabbing pain the decision gave him. He'd been more than selfish enough already.
oOo
It'd been three days, and Marco still had yet to see Ace. The first day he'd not bothered to seek the younger man out, figuring it was best to have a little distance before he apologized. Well to be fair, he needed the distance desperately. When he'd finally managed to get to sleep that night, Marco had been tormented by dream of just what he could've done to a very willing Ace if only his conscious hadn't chosen that particular moment to wake up.
After the second such night, he realized that putting it off was doing both of them a disservice. It wasn't like him to be so cowardly. However,he found his plan to apologize difficult to execute since Ace was simply nowhere to be found. Marco had checked all over the ship, even the most unlikeliest of places. He'd tried all of the places Ace used to hide out when he'd considered all of them an enemy only to come up empty handed.
Marco had always been the only one who could find Ace no matter where the second division commander had hidden. He'd never even had to try to find the younger man before, even when Ace had been hostile to everyone. If it weren't for the fact that Striker was still with the ship, Marco would have been certain Ace was no longer aboard.
As it was, he had passed worried by yesterday afternoon and frantic was perhaps a better description of his mental state. Marco had yet to sleep without dreams of Ace haunting him and between lack of sleep and the concern and guilt that roiled within him, he was quickly becoming desperate. His pride at being the only one to always be able to Ace had prevented him from asking anyone about the younger man. Marco also felt like they'd see right through whatever nonchalant way he came up with to ask.
By the evening of the third day, after hours of fruitless searching in between his duties, his resolve broke and he decided to ask Thatch, who was the least likely to notice anything was wrong. Luckily for Marco, he was by himself washing dishes from dinner. Before he could do more than greet the other man, Thatch beat him to it.
"Hey, Marco. Do you know what's wrong with Ace? I know you've noticed something's off with him. It isn't hard to figure out when he's skipped at least three meals in the last couple of days."
Marco hid his shock under his usual unflappable expression. This would definitely be easier than he'd thought. But was Ace really so miserable about Marco's actions that he'd stopped eating regularly? His gut twisted at the thought.
"No, he hasn't said anything to me, yoi. I've barely seen him this week."
"That's weird," said Thatch. At Marco's raised brow, he shrugged, causing water to slosh out of the full sink. "You guys are always together. We were all hoping he'd gone to you for advice about whatever's bothering him like usual."
Marco blinked at the insinuation that he was the only one Ace felt comfortable getting advice from. Surely, he relied on the others just as much. But Thatch's dismissal of the idea seemed too easy for that. The press of guilt on his shoulders doubled at the thought. Ace needed him to be an older brother. He should not have given into temptation. He just hoped their relationship wasn't ruined beyond all repair.
"Do you have any idea where he is? I'll see if I can figure out what's wrong." Marco was proud of the casual tone he managed to pull off, considering he'd been dying to ask that question for days now.
"No, no one's been able to corner him. But you always can, so it shouldn't be a problem!" Thatch grinned at Marco and slapped him on the back, drenching him as his hand still soaking wet.
Marco managed a weak reply and left the kitchen. There was no reason to suspect Ace would let him find him now, after he'd been hiding all day. Knowing that the reason that he'd always been able to find Ace, even when Ace had considered them all to be enemies, was because the raven-haired brat had wanted Marco to find him, caused a confusing torrent of emotions in Marco. A strange mix of pride, humility and some warm undefined emotion warred with the crushing guilt that came from losing that precious trust by momentarily giving into his long-restrained yearning.
There was only one thing left to do. He had to go see Pops.
oOo
It had taken one look from Pops, and the whole story had come pouring out in a muddled rush. Pops had listened in silence for the most part, asking questions only when Marco was starting to ramble to get him back on track. It was somewhat nostalgic for both of them. It had been years since Marco had come to Pops with a personal problem. He still always knew if he ever stumbled and need help, Pops would be there to support him, but he rarely needed assistance these days. For most problems, just the knowledge Pops was there if he needed him was enough these days, but he was feeling out particularly of his depth with Ace.
When he'd finished with Thatch's description of how Ace was doing, silence echoed in the captain's quarters as Whitebeard thought it over. Marco waited nervously for his advice. He knew he'd done something unforgivable, and he hated causing his captain disappointment.
Pops laughed loudly, breaking the tense silence. Marco gaped at him, dumbfounded. He'd expected a look of disapproval that would crush his soul, not this. Really any reaction but laughter. It took several minutes for Whitebeard to get himself under control.
"I expected my brats to have a little common sense," Pops said, wiping tears from his eyes. He seemed to think it over then added, "Well, at least you, son." He pulled a bottle of sake out from the stash Marco smuggled past the nurses every time they restocked, took a swig, and passed the bottle to Marco.
"I really thought this would go more smoothly. Of course, I thought it'd happen months ago. You brats always manage to take me by surprise," Whitebeard said, almost to himself, running his fingers over his moustache. He laughed again, making Marco grit his teeth.
Marco drank out of habit, momentarily forgetting his vow never to drink again after the incident. Oh well. He couldn't get tipsy without trying anyway. He passed the bottle back to Whitebeard before replying.
"Are you going to let me in on the joke?" His icy tone only sent Pops into further paroxysms of laughter.
"I'm afraid this is one of those situations you have to figure out on your own, son."
Marco groaned and rested his on the table in defeat.
"How can I, when I can't even find the brat?"
"I suppose I could help you with that." Marco looked up hopefully to meet Pops's amused look. "It won't do to have both of you moping for too long. Report back here directly after breakfast. Tell someone to pass the message along to Ace too."
"Of course. So I should apologize after you brief us?"
Pops grinned. "Something like that." Marco was filled with foreboding, but he could hardly protest when he'd ask for help. Marco stood up to leave, but turned back before he reached the door.
"Could I at least have a hint?" Pops sighed and shook his head.
"I suppose that you two blind fools could use all the help you can get. Fine. Ask yourself this: why is Ace hiding, if it is your fault? He's not the type to be embarrassed easily, after all."
Marco rolled his eyes at the vague hint and turned to leave once more, before Whitebeard's voice stilled his hand on the doorknob.
"Fix this soon, Marco." Whitebeard's tone was unusually serious, though he spoke so quietly Marco had to strain to hear the normally booming man. "It's hard watching you two make each other miserable."
oOo
Ace wasn't quite sure how he'd gone from successfully avoiding Marco for days to being alone a mission with him. It wasn't uncommon for Pops to send the two of them ahead when there was an emergency, since they traveled the fastest of all the commanders, but it just seemed too coincidental this time. They were headed to an island that was under their protection but hadn't reported in as usual every week. Their mission was just to scout out the situation and plan for when the rest of the crew got here, unless it was something they could easily fix themselves.
Luckily, even though they were traveling together, it wasn't like they could make conversation. Normally, Ace resented the fact that the Striker could really only hold one while going top speed, meaning Marco always flew above him instead of riding with him, but now he was thankful for the distance. He wasn't sure he could remember not to be selfish if Marco were right there.
The last few days, even while avoiding the first mate, Ace had kept thinking of silly little reasons to seek out Marco. He'd find himself halfway to Marco before he remembered that after what he'd done, he no longer deserved to let himself search for the first division commander on the flimsiest excuses, just because he'd yet to see Marco that day. Ace sighed and pushed the Striker to go even faster, letting the feeling of freedom that flying over of the waves soothe him.
He'd probably been too lenient with himself, or that kiss would never have happened. Ace spotted the barest shadow of the island ahead and slowed down slightly, filled with dread. He wasn't worried about their duties, but they would involve dealing with Marco directly, something Ace was not looking forward too. Ace still wasn't sure he was ready for pretending nothing was wrong, but there was no time to worry about that. The phoenix was already circling back to land on the Striker.
oOo
Marco had been too shocked at how haggard Ace had looked to be annoyed at his father for setting them up to spend a few days alone together. He supposed it would be easier to fix this way, regardless. Marco had spent the flight to the island thinking about the hint Pops had given him, especially after seeing Ace so pale and withdrawn. It wasn't at all the way Marco had imagined the younger man would react.
Was it possible Ace felt guilty too? It was clearly Marco's responsibility, as the (far) older one, so what reason would Ace have to feel guilty? Besides, it wasn't like Ace to feel bad about giving into an impulse. Marco had expected Ace to be angry at him for listening to his conscious and leaving, to argue that they were pirates and shouldn't have to worry about whether it was right or not before seeking pleasure.
One thing was sure. Whatever caused Ace to kiss him that night, it was no passing desire, or he would have bounced back to his usual self by now. There were deeper emotions at play on both sides. Primal triumph rushed through his veins at the thought that Ace might be in love with him as well, despite his attempts to quell to convince himself it was still wrong. Pops certainly didn't seem to think so. Most of Marco's reasons for holding back fell apart if Ace loved him back and Pops approved. He felt giddy at the thought and rolled in the air, before diving and looping back up, try to shake the feeling.
The island came into sight with a plume of smoke hovering over it. Thoughts of their personal problems fell away as he speed up, hoping to see what was wrong before he and Ace made land. Over half of the main town had been leveled by cannon fire and fires still burned here and there. A pirate ship flying an unfamiliar flag was clearly the source of the attack. Anger coursed through him as he saw the people under their protection cowering away from the men who'd rounded them up in the town square. They'd known something was wrong, but they'd never expected anything this bad. It was rare for anyone to try anything on one of their islands.
Marco held himself back from just leaping into battle but just barely. He forced himself to calmly count the men. It looked like there were less than fifty, and not even the massive man directing them looked like he'd give either of them any difficulty. They could probably take them out by themselves. Normally he'd advise caution, but he and Ace could both use a fight before dealing with their personal problems, and the townspeople needed help now. They had two to three days before the rest of the crew got here, after all, and something needed to be done. He wheeled around and headed back to the Striker to tell Ace the news.
oOo
"So, I think we can just take care of this ourselves, yoi." Marco watched Ace closely as he told the younger commander about the situation, but he showed no obvious reaction. The outrage that Marco would expect Ace to show at such an insult to Pops's honor was noticeably missing. The normally mercurial man was eerily unresponsive as he steered the Striker into a bay not far away from the town.
"Sounds good." Ace beached the Striker and started towards town without looking Marco in the eyes once. Marco caught his hand before he could go far and spun Ace to face him, not loosening his grip.
"Ace... I know you know I've been looking for you." Ace stiffened in Marco's grasp.
"I had meant to apologize for my actions that night, but now I'm not sure if that's what's needed to fix this mess, yoi."
Ace's forced grin looked like it might shatter at any minute. "Of course there's no need to apologize, Marco. I understand completely. It's me who should be apologizing anyway."
"Understand what? Why should you apologize?" Ace shook off his grip and turned back to the jungle between the town and the bay.
"Look, can we do this later? There are people waiting for us. I don't really need you to explain how I disgust you right now. Just don't worry about it; it won't happen again." With that he started off at a quick pace through the underbrush. Marco was too stunned to catch him before he was out of sight. Unfortunately, he was right about putting it off until the townspeople were safe. Marco growled in frustration and pressed through the dense growth. He almost pitied the enemy pirate crew. Neither of them were in the mood to show any mercy today.
By the time that Marco caught up to Ace, the majority of the pirates were already cowering in fear. The man Marco presumed to be the captain stood up from his chair on the podium.
"Weaklings! We knew these two would come first. There is no need to be alarmed. I'm more than prepared to take on the first and second commanders of the Whitebeard Pirates!" Marco paid no mind to the rest of his morale building speech as he looked for Ace. Screams drew his attention to the pirate ship. Or what was once a pirate ship. It was little more than a charred husk now. Ace stood in front of it, the cocky smirk that Marco loved so much on his face. He tilted up his hat and looked around at the sparse remains of the pirate crew. He briefly caught Marco's eye and the smirk faltered slightly.
He was so distracted with Ace that he failed to pay any mind to the infuriated pirate captain. Marco's only warning was a shout from Ace that came a second too late. A seastone infused net wrapped around him securely.
"Behold my power! I have single handedly caught Marco the Phoenix! The Whitebeard Pirates will learn to feel my wrath." Marco almost rolled his eyes. Really, what was this man thinking? If he hadn't wanted his ship destroyed, he shouldn't have attacked one of their islands. He must be either delusional in the extreme or suicidal. Marco began working on disentangling himself as Ace blasted through the few pirates in between them.
When the shot was fired, neither of them paid it any mind. It was only when Marco saw Ace's shocked face that he noticed that the blood spattered across Ace's chest belonged to the younger commander. He made it to Marco as the nameless captain crowed in the background. Marco could barely hear him over the roaring in his ears. Ace collapsed on the ground next to Marco who was still frozen in disbelief, wrapped securely in the net. Despite the amount of blood pouring from the hole in his chest he grinned up at Marco.
"I love you, Marco," he said, his grin widening at the confession, "I'm glad I got to tell you."
That was all he managed before his eyes fluttered shut.
oOo
Ace woke up to someone mumbling without pause. It took him awhile to be able to make out the words, but as soon as he could he was instantly awake.
"-just wake up, yoi. Completely unfair to do that to me... Some kind of deathbed confession... It was one measly seastone bullet. Like that could actually kill you. But do you give me a chance to tell you I've been in love with you since before you took Pops's mark? No, yoi. You just have to faint like a princess, leaving us still in this mess. It's been almost a day, yoi. Wake up already. What do you even have to feel guilty about? You think you disgust me? What the hell is that all about? Idiotic brat. If you only knew, how very, very far from disgusting I find you. If anyone is disgusting, it's me. I'm practically a pedophile, yoi. When you wake up, I'm going to wring your neck and kiss you sensel-"
Once Ace recovered from the shock of hearing Marco so offhandedly say he loved him, he couldn't contain his laughter anymore. It sent searing pain through his chest, but it was so out of character for the unflappable first mate to rant like that. To a supposedly unconscious person no less. He opened his eyes to find Marco glaring at him. They were in a small room, presumably still in town.
"I fail to see what's funny, yoi." Marco's eyes were bloodshot and it was even more obvious that he hadn't slept in a while than it was when they left for this mission. His hair was sticking up even more than usual, making it obvious he'd run his hands through it repeatedly. His expression was downright wrathful, but he had never looked better to Ace. He helped Ace to sit up in the bed. Ace grinned up at him, reveling in Marco's confession, though it obviously wouldn't last once Ace explained. He sobered at the thought.
"What happened after I 'fainted like a princess'?" Ace glared at Marco, but couldn't help but laugh at the other man's expression when he'd realized that Ace had been listen the whole time."Are the pirates gone?"
"They shot you, yoi. What do you think happened to them?" Marco's stony expression almost made Ace pity the pirates, but they'd attacked Pops's island. They deserved their fate.
"Now, explain." Marco's tone brooked no argument. "Why exactly do I think you're disgusting?"
"You don't understand? It's my father- not Pops- my blo-"
"Roger? What does he have to do with anything?" At Ace's shocked expression, Marco chuckled. "He and Pops might have been rivals, but he wasn't a bad man."
Ace gapped at him in silence. Marco sighed.
"I've known for a long time who your father was, yoi. And it in no way affects how I feel for you, though I'm still not sure why it should make me think you're disgusting."
Ace licked his lips nervously, but relaxed a little when he noticed Marco closely follow the motion. "But.. why else did you leave that night? I mean if you loved me, and if you really didn't mind..."
Marco groaned. "I really did fuck this up, didn't I? I'm surprised Pops wasn't madder, when I told him what happened."
"You told him that happened!" Ace straightened abruptly, cringing at the pull in his chest.
Marco rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, I couldn't find you. Besides he apparently already knew we both loved each other. He thought the whole thing was hilarious." Ace grimaced at the thought of the teasing that was sure to come, however this turned out.
He sighed again. "I left for the same reasons I've never told you I loved you."
Ace waited silently for him to gather his thoughts, heart beating fast at the bald statement. Marco fiddled with Ace's sheets
"I'm supposed to be your big brother, yoi. That doesn't normally include wanting to fuck you senseless every time you smirk." Ace snorted at his dry tone, but didn't comment apart from flashing him the smirk, trying to cover up his reaction to unvarnished admission.
Marco rolled his eyes at his antics. "Not only that, but you are technically my subordinate. And I wasn't kidding about the pedophile thing. I'm old enough to be your father, yoi. You deserve someone closer to your age."
Ace blinked. "Those are really stupid reasons. You're the one I want." At the bald statement Marco's grip on the sheets tightened. Ace ran his thumb idly over the back of Marco's hand, reveling in the freedom from ending his self-enforced ban on touching the older man. "Since Pops is apparently okay with it, I don't see what the problem is."
"Your reason was just as stupid, yoi."
"So... we still have a day or two until the rest arrive." Ace smirked up at Marco. "What was that you wanted to do to me?" He barely managed to get the last word out before Marco caught his lips in a fierce kiss.