The porcelain sink was cold under her hands as she leaned toward the mirror. Her big brown eyes blinked slowly, she could feel the air grazing her lashes. The apartment was silent except for Adam's soft snore coming from their bed.
She stared at herself.
She took stock of every new line, bruise and scar. She followed the outline of her bandages over her raw skin. She burned this image of herself into her memory. It was impossible to put into words the pain, the fear and the relief that mingled through her body, making her exhausted and nauseous. But she had to keep looking, keep staring. Kim was almost afraid if she looked away she would forget that she had survived at all.
The sight of him standing in the doorway refocused her attention for a second. He barely had his eyes open, arms crossed on his chest.
"You alright Darlin'?"
Kim nodded slowly, never breaking sight of herself.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Adam slowly padded his bare feet to stand behind her. He didn't touch her or speak, just stood in solidarity with her and stared in the mirror.
Kim raised her hand to touch her arm where she had just removed the bandage. The skin beneath her fingers felt tortured and foreign, but it was hers. She moved her hand upwards to cradle her shoulder and touch the bandages still covering her body. She finally broke her own gaze, looking down at her own hand rest lightly above her breast. Her heart beat was steady and calm as she looked back at her reflection.
"I survived."
She didn't say it to Adam, but to the woman in the mirror. A woman she knew would face physical pain and nightmares in the coming days. A woman who everyone kept saying was strong and resilient but she needed to believe it. It would be so easy, too easy, to crumble and let others carry her, but in this moment she carried herself. For the first time since Adam said her loved her she smiled. A true, from the heart, smile.
Adam made no apology for the tears streaming down his cheeks. Kim Burgess was his absolute everything and watching her study herself and speak out to the world that she would not be torn down made him love her more. He finally reached out a hand to place on her hip, not because she wanted it but because he needed to. She took her hand from her heart and tangled her fingers with his. Slowly she pulled him in closer to her so that his chest touched her back and together they moved their intertwined hands to her heart. Through the mirror they looked at each other and Kim caught sight of the tears on his face. She leaned back into him and he wrapped his arm around her waist. It was when he rested his head on top of hers that she finally spoke again.
"I will be ok. Say it, Adam, say it out loud. I will be ok."
Her eyes tore into him. Somehow she was willing him to be as strong as her, to believe what they knew to be true. He placed a soft kiss to the crown of her head.
"You will be ok."
Finally, she was satisfied. Not only was her own soul at peace but she knew Adam's was too.
"I love you Adam Ruzek. Thank you for giving me time and letting me accept myself."
"And you know I love you. I'll never rush you and always give you what you need, even if I just want to cradle you in my arms for days. I fell in love with your spark, Darlin'. I don't ever want to put that out."
Her smile grew wider and her tired giggle turned into a cough since her throat still scratched from the tubes. Adam brought the cup of water on the counter to her lips and she drank. Her hand covered his and together they placed the cup by the sink once again.
She gave her appearance one final look. She felt and looked stronger because she was, but also because they were together. There were no doubts she could recover and thrive on her own but the beautiful part was that she didn't have to.
Turning her body she faced him directly for the first time. Her hand rose to wipe the wetness that had stained his face.
"Cradle me for days, hmm?"
He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
"If you let me, you'd never leave my arms again. But can I at least cradle you tonight?"
"I would like that very much."
"Good. To the bedroom," he said softly.
They walked back to bed, Kim flicking off the bathroom light and saying goodnight to the mirror. Adam crawled in first, trying to find the right angle for her to lie on him without causing her pain.
"Babe, this might have to be a modified cradle."
His downtrodden look filled her spirit. God, she loved his man. Relegating him to his side of the bed, she climbed in and rested her body against his. She felt some pain and flinched when a blanket grazed her arm.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to touch you there."
Kim readjusted, taking some of the pressure off her shoulder and fell more fully into him, lying how they had been earlier. She brought his hand to her lips for a kiss and left it to rest near her heart.
"I will not break. Scars are just scars, signs of a story told."
She barely had the last words out before she fell asleep. Adam treasured the woman in his arms. He pulled the blankets up and let his breath fall in sync with hers as he drifted off. She would not break and he would never let her doubt that. They had so many stories left to tell.