QA's Musical Morons, a cartoon x-overs fanfic

Me: Hello everyone, Happy 4th of July and good ole' summer to ya'll! (Like the stereotypical language of a Texan :P) Anyways I thought I'd charm you with my first one-shot and make it a funny one based on the Spongebob Squarepants episode "Band Geeks." I hope you all like it!

~Q-A's Musical Morons (Revised slightly)~

In a large white apartment near Kensington London, England, there was a young brunette teenager. She was wearing a black tuxedo coat and tail, maroon pants (with a tied black bandana around one of the knees) with a leather brown belt, brown boots and a dark purple under shirt. She was also playing badly on a piano. Her blue eyes were completely focused on the music until she heard a knock at the door. Sighing in annoyance and brushing some of her brown, but red highlighted, hair (which was in a ponytail) she stood up and went to open the door.

The girl opened the door to find a pet doctor and what she assumed were his assistants at the entrance and he asked, "Yes, we're with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises-" SLAM!

Before he could finish the girl already shut the door right at his face and groaned in annoyance, she didn't expect her music to sound that horrid. A ring came from the telephone and she went to answer it. She picked up the phone and went back to the piano and said, "Hullo, You've reached Ebony Gulliver's house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the-" she pressed a finger on one of the keys loudly and waited for a response.

"Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, old friend?" a familiar, and obnoxious voice said on the other line and laughed obnoxiously.

Ebony gasped, "Brittany Crust from the music academy in Liverpool."

Brittany 'Britt' Crust was sitting in a large, and luxurious room in a mansion while sitting next to her cousin, Tiffany 'Tiff' Crust both smirking and looking high and mighty. "I hear you're babysitting, Square Enix characters now." The taller cousin replied snickering.

Embarrassed, Ebony said, "Um, sometimes. How's the overbite and fake accent of yours?" she smirked remembering their days at school and how Britt got kicked out while trying to bribe a teacher to get better grades and was sent back to the States.

Not at all offended Britt answered, "The overbite's big and the accent is valuable. Thanks to Tiff's daddy and mine we're now in charge of a big and important marching band. And we're supposed to play the Sounds of Summer in Los Angeles next week during the 4th of July."

Ebony was shocked beyond belief and stuttered, "The so-so-so-? The so-so-so-? The so-so-so-?"

Britt continued smirking and said, "That's right! My cousin and I are living your dreams, 'Ebby'. The problem is, both of us are busy next week and can't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for ours."

Ebony thought, "Probably because they actually wasted all their band funds on shopping instead." That did not help her find an answer to Britt's question as she mumbled, "Uh... Uh, Ummm..."

Tiff grinned and grabbed the phone while saying, "I knew it! You don't even have a band!"

Britt took the phone again and added, "Well, we'll just let you get back to the 'Wonderful World of Nerding,' I mean as in 'protecting' characters from pointless video games now."

Britt knew that just because Ebony was the better singer at their old school did not mean that she went and became famous. Instead Ebony had to stick around in the Square Enix Europe, a British publisher for the Japanese video game and publishing company, where she had to be the Guardian of all Square Enix related video games and/or Manga characters.

Embarrassed and completely irritated at the Crust cousins constant gloating the brunette yelled, "HOLD IT! It just so matters that I don't just protect video game and Japanese comic book characters you git! I do have a band, and we're going to play that Sounds of Summer! How do you like that, fancy girl?"

Though Tiff looked surprised Britt was not and even said 'Good luck' but then added, "I hope the audience brings lots of aspirin!" she and her cousin laughed and hanged up the phone.

Ebony realized her situation and said, "I better drum up a decent band for the concert fast!" she then started giggling and muttered, "Drum up…he-he…band pun."

The next morning was a hot summer's day in while a pink hedgehog named Amy Rose was jogging but stopped and looked at a flier on a lamppost and read aloud what was on it, "Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life? -"

"Then become a part of the greatest musical sensation ever to hit Bikini Bottom-" Invader Zim read to his trusted, but dimwitted sidekick GIR while in their 'home.'

"-and be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know." Serah Farron read aloud while walking through Nautilus.

"-Not to mention - free refreshments!" Dr. Jumba Jookiba read that part eagerly while in a bathroom.

"-Practice begins tonight, 8:30 sharp." Tidus read the last part while showering in his bathroom.

Later that night Ebony looked at her watch and cursed and said, "Great I'm five minutes late. That git didn't know the difference between an oboe from an elbow! He-he...More band humor." she ended while laughing and riding her motorcycle and a trailer to the practice hall she rented while staying in Los Angeles for the concert.

The brunette walked in as the people there were sounding like they were talking amongst themselves when really they were saying the phrase, "Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah!" and holding most of their instruments the wrong way. This was going to be a long night.

Ebony cleared her throat to get everyone's attention, which worked and asked, "People, people, settle down. OK, now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?"

Zim raised his hand up eagerly and asked, "Do instruments of torture count?"

With an unemotional face Ebony answered, "No."

The innocent Vivi Ornitier asked, "Is Hi-Potion an instrument?"

Unemotional again Ebony spoke patiently, "No Vivi, Hi-Potion is not an instrument."

Vivi raised his hand again and Ebony quickly added, "Elixir is not an instrument either." The black mage placed his hand down after that.

The Keyblade wielder Sora raised his hand and asked, "How abut beach-balls?"

Annoyed Ebony asked, "What does that have to do with music?"

Sora shrugged, "I don't know, summer's started and I thought-"

"Look I understand what season it is but we all need to practice because we only have less than four days to be good, and to be honest I don't think you lot had that much experience with music before."

Ebony smiled and optimistically said, "But I'm sure I'll make you decent musicians by the end of the hour." She ended while laughing.

As an awkward silence was made, Jumba asked impatiently, "When do we get chewing-and-swallowing substance?"

Ebony sighed and said, "Repeat after me," she sung a note. "Brass section! Go!"

A few people with brass instruments repeat her notes for five times. Happily nodding, Ebony pointed to the winds. "The Winds!" they too play the note five times.

"Good! Now, the drums!" Sora and two other guys tried to blow on their drumsticks to make noise for eight times. The drumsticks flew out of their mouths and hit Ebony, two on her shirt and one under her arm, pinning her to the wall.

"I really wished that killed me." Ebony said miserably while staring at the computer screen, breaking the 4th wall.

Some time later, Ebony, who got off the wall at some point, said to everyone, "Let's just try stepping in rhythm. Now, I want everyone to line up in straight rows of five."

"Is this the part where we start kicking?" Sora asked eagerly.

Face palming herself Ebony sighed, "No Sora, that's a chorus line."

Vivi jumped out of his seat and exclaimed, "Kicking? Oh, I wanna do some kicking!" After he said that he accidentally kicked Amy.

"Ow!" Amy groaned in pain while rubbing her bottom. She glared angrily at Vivi and said, "Why you...! Why I ought to...!" she grabbed him while beating him up and dragged the poor mage as the fight was literally taken outside. A large, "AAAAAAAAAH," was heard while another awkward silence was shortly fallowed.

Vivi poked his head through the door and said, "Whoever is the owner of the green van with the words 'Mystery Machine' painted on the side, you left your lights on."

Vivi walked through the doors. Revealing that he had a trombone for a neck, thanks to Amy. The instrument played a note at every footstep the black mage took. When he sat down, the trombone plays a long, low note along with Vivi opening his mouth to make the sound.

~Day Two~

Ebony blew a whistle outside on a street, as she had decide to play with the band to practice marching and were all playing a not so good version of the song, "Semper Fidelis" but Ebony kept on encouraging them.

"Ok that's perfect everybody!" Ebony said, "Sounds of Summer here we come!" she looked over at Woo Foo rabbits, Yin and Yang, and ordered, "Flag twirlers really spin those things."

The band was at a corner and Ebony ordered, "Okay, turn! Flag twirlers let go! I want to see some spinning! Flag twirlers move! Come-on! Move!"

The rabbits were moving the flags so fast that they flew up in the air like airplanes and crashed into a blimp, causing en explosion. A trumpeter played "Taps" while everyone placed their right hands on their chests in respect. All except for Ebony who took out a blanket and sucked her thumb and lied on the ground in a fetal position.

~Day Three~

Back in the practice hall, Ebony was with Zim and asked him while at an organ.

"How's that organ solo coming Zim?"

Zim exclaimed, "OUTSANDING! Weak and powerless human, I shall use this to control everyone's minds and rule the world."

He laughed hysterically for a couple of seconds until Ebony deadpanned, "You mean with that organ you brought in earlier. That one had mold in it so I had thrown in the rubbish and got this new one instead."

"CURSES! Foiled again," Zim yelled while mumbling to him self.

"Are you going to play the solo or do you want a minute to yourself-"

"NO I'm still playing it anyways."

Zim plays a note on one key then, due to his small size had to run back to one side and another, and was starting to run out of energy. While playing the last key the tired Zim collapsed.

GIR came out of nowhere in his dog suit and started singing the 'Doom Song' while Ebony said dryly, "That song of yours might be my fallback plan incase this whole band thing doesn't work out."

~Day Four~

During the night before the big concert everyone was at the practice hall as Ebony was on the stage and said, "Well, this is our last night together before the show! And I know you all haven't improved since we began."

Everyone looked at Vivi who had apparently got his head stuck in a tuba and turned back to Ebony.

"I've looked up on the Web and researched that people who want to sound smart speak loud right?"

"CORRECT!" Zim yelled.

"So if we play loud, people might think we sound good! Everybody ready?

Everyone nodded and held up their instruments.

"And a 1 and a 2 and a 1, 2, 3, -"

In a matter of seconds they all play so loud and awful that sound broke the windows and peeled a layer of skin off of Ebony's face, making her look more pale than before.

With a with her shocked expression still on her face, Ebony said, 'Kay, here's a new idea, maybe we should play so quiet enough no one can hear how bad we sound."

Dan Kuso answered angrily toward Jumba, "Well maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try to play with big fat hands!"

Insulted, Jumba asked, "What did little human say?

"Big FAT HANDS!" Dan said while glaring.

Curling his hands into fits Jumba said proudly, "Well These hands aren't just for making alien experiments!"

Dan laughed arrogantly, "Bring it on, pal! Bring it on!"

Sora got between the two and said wisely, "No people, let's be smart and not bring violence into this."

Sakura Haruno said sarcastically, "Oh ho! So now the Final Fantasy hero wannabe is going to preach to us!"

Everyone started to argue and Ebony tired to speak calmly, " Listen I know tensions are high..."

Quickly everyone began fighting. Tidus was arguing with Ron Stoppable until Wakka came in and slammed a drum through his head.

Ebony began sweating while saying, "There's a deposit on the instruments everyone."

Despite her pleads everyone used them to fight someone. Jumba and Dan started to joust the other with clarinets but tried to stop when Serah used two cymbals and squashed them.

"Wait everyone please settle down!" Ebony begged not wanting anyone to get seriously hurt.

Amy fought against a guy with a xylophone and smashed it with nun chucks. Vivi kicked her again but this time on purpose and Amy saw him and smirked when she took out a trumpet and charged right at the black mage who ran off in fear. This continued on until a second later the clock struck 10 o'clock and everyone stopped looking at it.

"Hey class is over," Yang said whom he and his sister apparently survived the accident the other day.

Everyone started to leave until the front doors swung open to reveal downhearted Ebony who said sadly, "Well, you did it. You took my one chance at happiness and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny, bite-size pieces. All I ever wanted was to amount to something like my foster father, who is a lawyer for crying out loud! Instead I wasted my time doing pointless work and protect characters that, mind you, never needed my help in the first place and so I'm just the equivalent of a grade school prefect. *Sigh* I guess I'm a loser for that, too."

Everyone was stunned by her words and Ebony added, "Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks, thanks for nothing!" with that said Ebony walked to her bike and rode away sadly.

"You're welcome," Vivi said naively.

"What kind of Heartless are we?" Sora asked rhetorically and everyone listened. "That poor creature came to us in her hour of need. And we failed her. Ebony was always been there for me and the other Square Enix characters when it was convenient for her!"

Sora walked over to a blond girl with pigtails and asked, "Maka when Blair was stuck in a tree and surrounded buy hundreds of kishin, who helped you and Soul Eater along with the other meisters to rescue her?

Maka answered, "Ebony."

Sora turned over to Tidus and asked, "And Tidus, when you got unconscious after drowning during a Blitzball tournament, who was the one who revived you with a ton of Potion?

While thinking thoughtfully he said, "Ebony and the boomerang kid from Final Fantasy XIII."

Grinning widely, Sora exclaimed, "Right! So if Ebony could pretend she was a firewoman with a death wish or a doctor, to help us out then, I'm sure we could all pretend we sound good and pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band!"

Dan yelled enthusiastically, "Yeah for the firewoman with a death wish!"

"YAY" was everyone else's response as well, while Sora climbed up onto the stage and picked up Ebony's baton and said, "Then we have to work all night and get a few extra friends to help out. A-one, a-two, a-scidilly-didilly-doo".

The next day was the 4th of July, outside of the stadium, Ebony was sighing sadly as she walked up to it. "At least I can cross out Los Angeles on my list of 'Places to visit before I die'. I knew this was going to happen. They're just gonna have to find another band to play. I just hope that-"

Ebony screamed in alarm when she saw both Crust cousins in front of her, "BRITT AND TIFF DON'T FIND OUT! CRUST COUSINS!" AAAAAAAAAAUUGH! I mean…uh… what are you two doing here?"

Britt laughed, "I just came to see you fail again."

"So, where's your band?" Tiff asked while smirking.

Ebony frowned and lied, "They couldn't come they...died."

Britt smirked too and pointed behind Ebony while asking, "Then who's that?"

Ebony turned around fast and yelled, "AHHHHHHHH! THAT WOULD BE MY BAND!"

It was indeed them, all dressed up and what appeared to be a few extra other people Ebony didn't recognize.

Sora saluted and exclaimed, "We're ready to perform Ebony!"

Britt walked over to Ebony and placed an arm on her shoulder and said smugly, "Well Ebby, this is exactly how I pictured your band would look."

She said that while watching Sora waving his hands back and forth and jumping up and down.

Ebony defended Sora halfheartedly, "That's his...eager face."

The girl walked onward while her band fallowed and the Crust cousins laughed at Ebony's soon to be failure.

Everyone, including the cousins walking onto a platform while Ebony said depressed, "I guess I'll be ran out of town when this is all over."

Sora walked over to her and place his hand on her should and gave it a reassuring squeeze, "Don't worry Ebony, when this all over we'll take the blame if people don't like it."

Ebony shook her head, "No Sora I was the one who dragged you all into this and I'll be the one responsible since I never usually am in the first place."

The platform moved upward as an announcer exclaimed, "Now for the final band performing for the evening, please put your hands together for the Ebony Gulliver marching band."

The stadium was filled to the brim with many celebrities who were either recovering from plastic surgery or looked sickly and pale.

While pursing his unseen lips, Vivi said aloud, "Gosh celebrities sure look a lot better looking on TV and in films."

Sora added, "Maybe all the good looking ones couldn't make it?"

"I feel like I'm about to regurgitate," Jumba said weakly.

Ebony sighed, "You me both." She looked over at her former rival who was smirking evilly. Ebony gulped and raised her baton and said, "Okay on a 1 and a 2 and a-" "WAIT"

The yell came from Sora who ran over to the microphone and said, "Hey everybody!" his response was a loud, excited audience. "I'm happy that we, as in me and the band, could come here and play for ya. The band wanted me to say thanks to our conductor, Ebony Gulliver, who not only spent a good half-a week with us but also left her home county of Australia-"England" Dan whispered.

"England," Sora corrected, "To bring you the Sounds of Summer!"

Ebony was touched by what Sora said. She had no idea the whole band lot appreciated her. She then realized that she needed to stop grimacing and face the music. (AN: More band humor XD)

Sora went back to his spot and nodded at Ebony to give the okay to go and she raised her baton again and said, "1, 2, 3, and 4!"

Instantly almost everyone got out of his or her band uniforms and into normal clothing while another but smaller band popped out and began to play some upbeat trumpet playing.

Sora came running in the middle of the stage with her redheaded girlfriend named Kairi and began to sing.

Sora: It's been a long, long day

And there were moments when I doubted

Kairi: That we'd ever reach the point

Where we could laugh and sing about it

Sora, Kairi & Chorus: Now the sun has set on this,

Another extraordinary day

And when it comes around again

You know I'll say

Ebony was flabbergasted at the sight, not only could Sora and the others sing but dance to boot. She looked at the Crust cousins who had stunned looks and she smirked, that they finally ate their own words. Sora and Kairi stepped down a bit and let their friends Mickey and Minnie Mouse who sang the next verse while Ebony threw her baton away and pointed at the singing couple.

Mickey & Minnie: Tell me what you wanna do today

All we need is a place to start

If we have heart, we'll make it

'Cause we're not messing around (Chorus: we're not messing around)

The mice were joined by other Disney characters that Ebony knew she didn't invite but was pleased at their singing all the same.

Yes we can dream it, do it, build it, make it

I know we can really take it

To the limit before the sun goes do~wn

The gang did the splits before going down like the sun and a large red and white robot appeared in front of them as its glass windows opened letting two people come out reveling to Renton and Eureka who jumped off the Nirvash.

Renton: As soon as you wake up you gotta make your move

Eureka: Don't miss the beat, just get into the groove

Renton & Eureka: The sun is shining, there's a lot that you can do (a lot that you can do)

They were joined by their friends from Gekko State who sang the chorus. Taking Renton and Euraka's place was a brunette girl and redheaded boy who Ebony recognized as her sister Grey and her boyfriend, Nicodemus 'Nick' along with Ebony's other sister Aoi and Clay Bailey with Rika Nonaka and Jack Spicer

Grey & Nick: There's a world of possibilities outside your door

Aoi & Clay: Why settle for a little, you can get much more

Rika & Jack: Don't need an invitation, every day is new…

Sora and Kairi came back in and sang some more.

Sora & Kairi: Yes, it's tru~e!

Summer belongs to you (Chorus: Summer belongs to you)

Summer belongs to everyone, so have some fun

There's nothing better to do

Summer belongs to you

While they sang the Crust cousins fainted and were dragged away while Ebony smiled. Ebony walked over to the mike and said, "All right, I'm singing in the rest of the song".

Sora grinned and said, "Be my guest."

Ebony: I traveled halfway around the world

And almost turned and ran away

But you helped me get my courage back

So now I've got to say

That though I've often thought of you

As just an annoyance to wit's end

She pointed at Dan and Jumba who smiled sheepishly and she then smiled and hugged Sora and Vivi.

Today I can't imagine

Having better best friends

She along with the others started dancing around and saw many more characters pouring into the stadium, such as Disney, Studio Ghibli, and Square Enix characters all starting to sing and dance as well.

And you got to believe in something

So today I believed in you

And you came through, we made it

I've never been so proud (Sora: never been so proud)

I know at first it seemed implausible

But we accomplished the impossible

Now there's something that I've got to say out loud

She ran towards the middle of the stage, grabbed the mike and smirked at the audience and sang.

Time is what you make of it, so take a chance

Sora: That's it!

Life is full of music so you ought to dance

Sora: She's got it!

The world's a stage and it is time for your debut!

Ebony was on a ballet stage with a standing ovation with the Princess Tutu characters behind her applauding.

Duck whispered to Fakir saying, "You know, I think she's got it!"

Don't waste a minute sitting on that chair

Ebony pointed at Homer Simpson sitting on a recliner who then got up and happily exclaimed, "Whoppie!"

Sora: Yeah!

The world is calling so, just get out there

Sora: That's what I'm talking about!

You can see forever so your dreams are all in view

Sora: Yes it's true

Ebony, Sora & The whole company: Summer belongs to you (Chorus: summer belongs to you)