The Monster Within
"Remus, say something."
He stared at her in disbelief.
How had this happened? He had been so careful, so meticulous in order to prevent this happening.
Obviously not careful enough.
"I –" He choked on his words and swallowed, taking a ragged breath as he stumbled backward. "I need to get out of here."
"Remus, wait!" Tonks caught hold of his sleeve. "Why are you –" She seemed to be having trouble getting the words out. "Look, this isn't a bad thing. I know the timing's not ideal, what with a war going on and all, but we're going to have a baby. That's something to be happy about."
"Something to be happy about?" Remus snapped, feeling rage rise up in him. "I've done to an innocent child what Fenrir Greyback did to me. I've – I've turned it into a monster." He turned away, anger bubbling in his veins.
"Remus," said Tonks softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You're not a monster. And we don't know if our baby will be a werewolf, there's nothing to worry –"
"There's plenty to worry about, Tonks!" Remus shouted, rounding on her. "Aren't you the least bit scared?"
"Of course I'm scared," Tonks whispered. "I'm scared that you'll die in this war and our child will grow up without a father."
"It would be better off without me," said Remus harshly, and Tonks drew in a startled breath.
"You don't mean that," she said quietly, taking his hand in her smaller one. "You can't mean it, Remus."
"Would you want a werewolf for a father, Tonks?" Remus spat. He wrenched his hand away from Tonks, drawing in harsh breath after harsh breath. "I've been a werewolf since I was five years old. I know what my parents went through for me. Month after month, hiding me away while I transformed...it was easy at first. All they had to do was lock me in the basement. But I grew up...I managed to break out a few times. My parents had to hide their cuts from me the next morning."
"But you got through it," Tonks whispered. "Dumbledore let you come to Hogwarts –"
"Dumbledore's dead," said Remus harshly. "And I won't let a child go through what I did."
"So what?" said Tonks, her voice rising. "You're too late! I'm pregnant, and what are you going to do about it?"
"There are spells –"
Tonks snarled, and Remus drew back, startled. "I will not kill my child, Remus!" she shouted. "I thought you would understand – even through all of your childhood, all the times you hurt your parents by accident or made their lives difficult – even through all of that, they loved you." Her voice broke and she turned away, her shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs. When she spoke again, her voice was cold and calm, as if she had no fight left in her.
"I thought you could love our child the same way, but I was wrong," she said quietly. "Maybe you really are a monster."
Remus took a sharp breath, his throat constricting. "I – I need to get out of here," he said again, and he turned his back on her, not knowing where he was going or what he would do, but knowing that he could not stay and watch a child grow into a monster.
The door closed behind him with a definite click.