A/N: Okay, so this is possibly one of the worst things I've ever written, but I was struck by a sudden muse in the middle of the night, and I was dying to write something as a sign that I was still alive. D:
Just...don't mind any mistakes in this. It's yet to be edited.
Valiant
His fingers are cold and nearly numb in the cold air, and the wind is a light, teasing breeze, as if trying to push him off balance. The sight in front of him is ominous and - inviting, almost. But the coolness of the phone in his hand keeps him anchored to reality and reminds him of one little task that he has left.
Nine numbers are dialed in quick succession, despite the trembling of his hands. Somewhere in the United States, a cell phone rings in one Alfred F. Jones's pocket.
Matthew's breath hitches a little when the latter finally picks up on the third ring; he hates the way Alfred has that effect on him. "Al?" he says, or rather, tries to say. The voice that comes out of his mouth is merely a low croak. He barely recognizes his own voice.
"Matt?" Alfred sounds surprised at the other line, although Matthew can't blame him. How long has it been, he wonders, since he last made a phone call to his southern neighbor? "Did you need something?"
"I," Matthew begins uneasily, clutching the phone tighter in his hand.
He sways.
He doesn't fall.
"I just wanted to call you one last time." He finds his voice and wills himself to speak. Regret starts to flood his mind, but he pushes it away, thinking, Alfred deserves at least this.
"You going on a vacation or something?" Alfred asked, and Matthew could imagine his confused expression. "For how long? Don't tell me you're gonna be missing my birthday!"
Matthew's fist clenches slightly. "Sorry."
"So you are!" Alfred sounds disappointed and triumphant at the same time. "Does that mean you're gonna be gone for your birthday too, dude?"
"I-"
" 'cause if you are, I'm gonna be pissed. I had a surprise party planned out and everything." There was a pause. "Oh, crap."
That brings a smile to Matthew's face - a smile so wide his cheeks start to hurt. And at the same time, his eyes become blurred by tears that come spilling out in little rivulets down his cheeks. He barely stifles a sob and is trying to say something when Alfred continues:
"Are you crying?"
Matthew hates it all: The way he feels so weak, so vulnerable; the way he feels like everything is slowly collapsing around him until it's just him, standing in the emptiness, in the loneliness that he has trapped himself in
all
by
himself.
"Matt?" Alfred queries softly. "I really am sorry about spoiling the surprise, I didn't mean to-"
"No," Matthew chokes out before he can finish, and he's smiling again but those damn tears won't stop falling- "It's just..." He exhales heavily. "I love you so much, Al."
There's a bout of silence. Fear starts ebbing at Matthew's thoughts, but somehow, he feels lighter. Almost serene.
"Is that all you called for, Matt?" Alfred gives a laugh at the other end of the line.
Matthew's heart throbs painfully.
"That's kind of really silly, bro," Alfred teases. "But anyway, pretend that I never told you about that party - uh, I mean, the non-party - and come over to my house on Monday, okay? There totally won't be a surprise waiting for you."
He remembers the way Alfred would grin that grin that never failed to brighten his day. "Sure thing, Al," he says despite his dry mouth.
The tears keep flowing.
(he doesn't care)
He ends the call and makes a decision.
The phone is closed in his fist tightly as he braces himself, and then-
It rings again. One glance at the screen tells him that it's Alfred. Matthew furiously swipes the back of his sleeve across his wet eyes and lets it go to voice mail; he doesn't trust himself to speak.
"Hey, sorry 'bout calling twice, but I didn't get to get this in earlier. You just kind of hung up." Alfred's sheepish chuckle is a little distorted through the speaker, but it still makes Matthew's lips tug up into a smile.
"Anyways, I love you too, Mattie," Alfred continues. "And if you miss that party, I'm gonna kill you."
A pause.
"Just kidding! Seriously though, you better be there." Matthew closes his eyes. "All right, the Hero's saying bye!"
The message ends with a click just as Matthew's thumb is about to answer the call.
Alfred's words ring in his ear and at the same time, a car honks in the busy street below. He falters.
Then he takes a deep breath
(i love you too, Mattie)
and backs away from the edge of the building.