I do apologize for this but you can't have guest at your house all day and not feed them. I forgot this tidbit and it being Christmas in 1965, I doubt that any restaurants would have been open especially in rural Maine. I do apologize for the unrealistic approach of Daniel and Hawkeye cooking but I couldn't leave the members from the 4077th out in the cold and hungry.
To those who have reviewed my stories so far – thank you and I hope that you enjoy this one.
Christmas
9:00 a.m. came too early for Hawkeye Pierce but he remembered his Dad promised everyone breakfast at the elder Pierce house by 10:00 a.m. His Dad was already up when Hawkeye came down to the kitchen to tell him that he was going to take Dani home to get some fresh clothes and for him to take a shower.
"Why don't you let her sleep and get her ready when you get back here?"
"Dad, I appreciate it but I think it would be better if I take her home. There will be too many strange people for her liking by the time we'll return."
"Okay, see you by 10."
Hawkeye walked back up the stairs to take Dani back home with him. When he opened the door to the room she was sleeping in he founded her curled up in the fetal position as tight as she possible could. When he went to pick her up she screamed, scaring Hawkeye.
"Dani," he said trying to coax her out of the nightmare she seemed to be having, "come on baby, wake up."
"What's wrong?" Trapper asked who, along with Sidney, appeared after Dani's screamed.
"I think she's having a nightmare," Hawkeye said as he picked her up and sat with her on the bed trying to coax her awake. "Come on baby girl, wake up," he said as he rubbed her back.
A few moments later Dani woke up, looked around the room to make sure everything was okay and then relaxed against her father's body.
"You okay?" Hawkeye asked her.
"No," she whispered.
"What happened?"
"Everyone I knew died Daddy. I was really scared."
"I'm sorry you had that dream. Why don't we go back home and get some fresh clothes on and then we can come back here, okay?"
"I guess so."
Hawkeye maneuvered his daughter so that they saw eye to eye to each other, "Listen sweetheart, there's gonna be many people here today. Most of them were there last night when Mom died. I know you don't like strangers but Daddy and Uncle Trapper knows them so they're okay. Okay?"
"You're not gonna leave me with them, are you?"
"No, sweetheart."
"Are they going to talk to me?"
"Yeah, but you just be nice to them. They know that Mommy died and you don't have to pretend to be brave. It's okay to cry, okay?"
"Okay, I guess."
"That's my girl."
Daniel heard the commotion downstairs but knew that Dani was being taken care of so he continued cooking. When they came downstairs his angel came over to him and waited patiently for a hug.
"You okay now?" Daniel asked after he picked her up and hugged Dani.
"Yeah. Had nightmare."
"Oh, what happened?"
"Everyone died"
"Oh that can be scary. Did Daddy explain to you that there would be people here when you returned?"
"Yeah."
"You feel overwhelmed you come find one of us, okay?"
"Okay. I love you grandpa."
"I love you too. Be good for Daddy," he told her as he put her down. Dani went over to father who picked her up to take her home.
When Hawkeye got in the door he didn't expect the feeling that he got when he walked in his own home. Although it was his home it wasn't as warm without Margaret. There was a void in Hawkeye's life as well. Granted he still had Dani, but one day she would grow up and leave him as well and he would be alone. He had talked to Margaret about him remarrying and although she gave him her blessing he believed that he would be a widower forever just like his father. He also had to consider Dani's feelings as well if he ever decided to dates much less get married again.
Dani had fallen back asleep in his arms. Hawkeye knew that she needed more sleep, but unfortunately there were guests coming over and they would be interested in knowing who she was. The last time most of them had seen Dani she was just an infant. He just prayed that she'd be able to handle all of this.
Hawkeye figured that while she was quiet he could catch a quick shower and shave. He looked like crap and felt like crap and just wanted to hide. Margaret had told him and even his father last night that he couldn't hide anymore. Dani's needs were more important and she needed her Daddy more than anything. At least Sidney was here. Hawkeye knew he could use a good case of head medicine right now. At least someone that wouldn't ask him annoying questions. Okay, Sidney would ask annoying questions, but there would be a purpose behind them, unlike the others just trying to be cordial.
When Hawkeye got out of the shower there wasn't a peep in the house, which meant Dani hadn't awoken. She didn't like to be alone and with the death of her Mother last night, probably even more so. He quickly shaved; threw on his bathrobe; and went down to her room where he laid her down. He was relieved to find that his suspicions were true and that she was out cold. He quickly got dressed and then went to tackle the chore of getting Dani dressed.
Hawkeye returned to Dani's room. He took the moment to watch his precious angel. He remembered when Margaret told him that she was pregnant again. It wasn't planned and he remembered how scared he was. Margaret had already lost five pregnancies prior to Dani's birth and he was afraid that history would repeat itself. That was why he didn't want her to move from that bed. He figured that maybe he could protect Margaret and the baby from any undue harm. It worked, Dani was alive and well but it came at a price tag. Hawkeye could still remember the blood curdling scream that Margaret did that day when she found the lump in her breast. He had never been real religious but he had prayed to God on that fateful day that it was benign but God didn't answer his prayers. When the doctor told them that it was cancerous and gave them the three choices. Margaret didn't even bat an eyelash to tell the doctor that she would wait until Dani was born before beginning any type of treatment. Hawkeye didn't know if he could have made the same decision.
The doctor continued on about what the chances that Margaret would survive with each scenario. There was always a chance of death but the doctor encouraged her to start treatment immediately. She told him firmly no and no again. She finally put her foot down to tell the doctor that there was no way in the world that she do anything to harm her baby. The doctor thought she was crazy; but Hawkeye knew better than to question Margaret. Margaret was Irish and when she wanted to do something the Irish stubbornness would come out and there was nothing anyone could do except move out of the way.
When Hawkeye talked to Margaret later that evening he wanted to make sure that she knew what she was getting herself into. He didn't care if they ever had children; he just wanted her with him for the rest of his life. He didn't know how he would get by without her. He knew it was selfish of him to think that, but it was the truth. When he told her his concerns she promised him that she would be there. Hawkeye smiled sadly at the thought. Technically she was dead but he couldn't shake the feeling that she was watching over the two of them in spirit.
Shaking out of his daze and realizing that it was almost 10:00, Hawkeye woke up his sleeping daughter.
"Dani…"
"Daddy, I'm tired."
"I know. Listen let's get a change of clothes on you and then we can go back to Grandpa's. I'll let you sleep some more at Grandpa's," Hawkeye said as he grabbed clothes for Dani.
"No."
"No?" Hawkeye asked.
"Many people be there."
"I know. Many of your mother's friends will be there. But don't worry, I'll be there; Uncle Trapper; Grandpa and even Grandpa and Grandpa Houlihan will be there."
"Grandpa Houlihan scary."
"Scary? How?"
"Tries to make me solider."
"That would be typical of your grandfather. Let's get dress and go back over to Grandpa's. I bet he'll make you oatmeal if you ask him."
Close to 10:00 a.m. Hawkeye, with Dani sound asleep on his shoulder, returned to his father house.
"Hi, Dad," Hawkeye said as he came in and handed Dani off to him. "Can you hold her for a minute while I take my jacket and boots off."
"Sure."
"Thanks."
After Hawkeye took off his outerwear he proceeded to take Dani's off as well while in her grandpa's arms.
Trapper and Sidney had stayed the night over at the elder's Pierce's house. Frank and his wife were there along with Sherman and Mildred Potter. Frank spoke up and asked how old Dani was and Hawkeye told him that she had just turned seven on Halloween.
"She has mild form of autism. She's not too keen on strangers so don't be surprised at the cold stare you'll get from her."
"You sure have your hands full with her, don't you?" Sherman asked.
"Yeah. She'll try her best to talk to people but it may become to overwhelming for her and she'll go and hide somewhere. There have been times that we couldn't find her for hours in this big house. She can practically bend in any position to get into any hiding spot.
BJ and his wife Peg along with their children Erin and twins Benjamin and John came in; along with Radar and his wife; Klinger and his wife Soon-Li and their son Maxwell, Jr. With all the commotion of the people coming in to the house it woke Dani up.
"Its okay, Dani. Grandpa has you," he said as he walked away from the commotion in the living room and into the kitchen area. Daniel could feel her relax against him. "You hungry? I'll make you oatmeal if you want?"
"Okay," Dani said weakly.
Daniel had learned how to cook with one hand since Dani was born. When nervous or frightened she always wanted to be held by those she loved the most and today was no difference. Daniel knew she needed more than ever to feel safe in the arms of those she love in order to comes to grips with the death of her mother.
A few minutes after everyone had met and introduced themselves to each other Hawkeye went into the kitchen to find what his father and Dani were up to.
"Do you want me to take her?" Hawkeye asked.
"No, she'll be fine. I'm making her oatmeal. Why don't you start bringing out the food for everyone on the table in the dining room?"
"Sure not a problem," Hawkeye said; kissed his half-asleep daughter on the head; and started to move food into the living room.
By the time Hawkeye, with help from the others, got the food to the table the rest of the gang from the 4077th had arrived – Charles and his wife and Father Mulcahy.
"Where's your Dad, Hawkeye?" Father Mulcahy asked.
"He's in the kitchen with Dani. Dani's not too sure of all of you so it will take time for her to figure all of you out."
"Why's that?" Charles asked. "She seemed okay with all of us last night."
"Last night," which felt like a million years ago with the sun shinning on the bright, white crisp snow, "was different. I don't think she even recognized that any of you guys were even there. She has autism and does not like strangers. Please don't be offended if she just stares at you when you talk to her, it's a defense mechanism. She's just making sure that you're okay."
"Believe me, she has come along way since she was a baby," Trapper spoke. "When I first met her I couldn't come within her view or she would scream. Eventually she got use to me and now we're best buddies."
"Hawkeye," his Dad call from the kitchen.
"Excuse me for a moment," Hawkeye said and left the dining room for the kitchen.
When Hawkeye entered the kitchen he saw that Dani had fallen asleep in the middle of eating her oatmeal.
"What's the problem?"
"I think Dani's running a bit of temperature. Her face is flushed and she barley touched her oatmeal. I felt her head and it's a bit warm."
"Just what we all need," Hawkeye said in frustration.
"I know son, but the flu is going around," Daniel said trying to calm his son down. "Listen, why don't I take Dani up to her room and try to get her to sleep there. That way she can rest without the commotion down here."
"Thanks, Dad."
Daniel gently awaken Dani. "Sweetheart,"
Dani interrupted her grandpa, "I don't feel too good."
"I didn't think so sweetheart. Why don't I take you upstairs to rest, okay?"
"I want my Daddy."
"I'm right here sweetheart," Hawkeye reassured her. "Why don't I take you upstairs so you can rest up, okay. Grandma and Grandpa Houlihan will be here later."
"But you won't stay with me," Dani said with tears falling from her bright blue eyes.
"I can't sweetheart but I'll stay until you'll fall asleep," Hawkeye told her although he would have rather stayed with her taken a nap right along with her.
Hawkeye slowly picked her up and rocked her back to sleep while rubbing up and down her back. Once he was sure that she was asleep he then went through the living room to get to the stairs.
"I'll be right back," Hawkeye said in a whisper to his guest. "I'm just gonna lay her down upstairs and I'll be right back as soon as she's settled in."
As the day progressed members from the 4077th gang talked about the time while they were in Korea and what was currently happening in their own lives while Daniel and Hawkeye made dinner. Al and Jane Houlihan arrived at the elder Pierce's home around 3:30 p.m. Hawkeye had excused himself when they arrived to go get Dani who had been upstairs since everyone had arrived. It was now 4:00 p.m. and both Daniel and Sydney had recognized that he hadn't returned.
Sydney made his way into the kitchen and motioned for Daniel to follow him without anyone else noticing.
"What do you think is happening?" Daniel asked Sidney.
"I think that either Hawkeye fell asleep or there having a father and daughter discussion."
Without a missing a beat Hawkeye came back down with Dani in tow who seemed to be quite frightened by the number of strangers in her grandfather's home. Hawkeye saw the reaction on Dani's face and tried to reassure the child that everything would be okay.
"Dani, it's okay. I know all these people, there not going to hurt you," he whispered in her ear. Although she believed her father she did not lessen the tight grip that she had on the collar of his shirt.
He kissed her on her red flushed cheeks, noting that they were still warm and put a hand up to her forehead. When she offered little resistance to him poking and prodding her, he knew that she was sick. His suspicions were true when all she did was put her on his shoulder as soon as he was done checking to see if she had a fever.
"Can you say hi to everyone Dani?" Hawkeye prodded her to speak but all the guests got was a wave.
"How's my grandbaby doing?" Al asked Dani.
"Yucky!" was the reply he got back from her.
"Oh you poor angel," Jane told her.
There was something that struck Hawkeye odd about the way they acted. They had never been so friendly towards Dani before. Al wanted to mold her into her a solider and Jane into a fashion diva; none of which she was. Dani could care less what she wore and much to the chagrin of Al, Dani was more of a pacifist than Hawkeye was. Even at age 7, Dani knew war wasn't the answer. There was something that made Hawkeye suspicious of them, but he couldn't figure out what.
As the afternoon turned into evening dinner was made, served, and eaten by the guests. Dani was passed from Hawkeye; to Grandpa Daniel; to Trapper. Sidney had taken a seat next to Trapper and was able to listen in and observe somewhat to the conversation that Trapper and Dani had.
Grandpa Daniel gave Dani to Trapper to hold onto while he and Hawkeye made dinner. The first thing that he always did was kiss Dani on the forehead.
"Sweetheart, your warm."
"I can't be warm," Dani said in a whisper, "I'm freezing."
"You've got the chills," Trapper said as he wrapped the blanket around Dani that was sitting next to him at the end of the couch. "How are you doing?" Trapper asked.
"I miss my Mommy," she said with tears beginning to flow.
"I know sweetheart."
"Daddy said he missed her too."
"What were you guys talking about upstairs?"
"About Mom mostly. He scared me."
"How?"
"He started to cry. I thought only kids did that."
"Your Daddy misses your Mommy."
"I know – but it scares me when Daddy cries."
"Expect a lot of tears. And don't let it scare you. It's part of the normal process for grieving. It's okay to cry."
"Okay," Dani said and snuggled into Trapper's chest and promptly went to sleep.
"I thought she had autism?" Sidney commented. "She sure speaks a lot."
"Wait until the viewing and the funeral. She'll be hiding. She's not particularly keen on strangers and I'm sure she'll give Hawkeye a hard time. Not purposely but she'll get overwhelmed with everything and have to get out of the situation. I know her way to well," Trapper told Sidney as he rubbed Dani's back in a comforting measure.
When dinner was ready Hawkeye went over to where Trapper and Dani were situated and woke her up. "Hey kiddo, you need to eat something."
"No."
"Dani, don't give me a hard time," Hawkeye ordered her.
Trapper could tell by Hawkeye's tone of voice that he was stressed out. "Listen, Hawk, I'll get her to eat something."
Hawkeye knew that it would be for the best if he let Trapper handled it. Somehow, when he couldn't get her to do something, Trapper had the magic touch to get her to do something.
Trapper knew this wouldn't be easy but she would usually do anything for her Uncle Trapper. Trapper loved this girl more than life itself. She could be difficult at times but once she accepted you as her friend she would give you all the love in the world. In a way Trapper was very thankful for Dani and the innocent childhood love she had for him. When he came back from Korea the marriage between him and Louise was rocky at best. They had tried to continue on as a joyous married couple, even tried to go to marriage counseling but after ten years after returning from Korea they decided to call it quits. Both had realized that they had grown in separate directions and this, or at least he thought, would be better for both him and her and the kids. He didn't expect Louise to turn the kids against him and refuse to do anything with him. He tried but the oldest turned 18 before the divorce was final and decided that Louise could have full custody of the youngest, who was 16, at the time.
He and Hawkeye had resumed their friendship once they cleared the air. Both he and Margaret were supportive of him throughout the ordeal of the divorce and the custody battle. When Dani was born he was one of the first visitors to see her and fell in love with the little girl who looked like a mirror image of her father except she had Margaret's blond hair. When Dani was two she began to show the signs of autism. Hawkeye and Margaret had heard of the syndrome but didn't know what the signs were. When he went to celebrate her 2nd birthday, Hawkeye pulled him aside and asked him if he had any idea what was wrong with her since he worked at Boston General and saw all sorts of diseases and syndromes. She wouldn't cooperate with anyone but with her parents and Grandpa Pierce and deluge of other oddities that crushed Margaret. She thought it was somehow her fault. When Trapper suggested autism and some of the symptoms Hawkeye was able to put two and two together and had her tested. At least now she was diagnosis and together, as parents, family, friends and community were able to help Dani become a functional person.
Dani, although not too sure of all these people in her Grandpa's house, decided to cooperate with Trapper and eat something. She knew her Dad was upset with her and hoped by trying to eat a little bit she would get back in his good graces. She ate a few bites of mashed potatoes but then got the feeling that everyone was staring at her. To Dani, it felt they were on her at all times, but in reality it wasn't. People would look at her but then turn the attention to a conversation or the food that they were eating.
"Trapper," she whispered as she tugged on the sleeve of his shirt.
"What's wrong?" he whispered back
"I can't handle this."
"Okay, come on," Trapper said and picked her up and carried her out of the room and into the kitchen.
Hawkeye noticed they were getting up and proceeded to follow them into the kitchen.
"Hey, I'm proud of you," Hawkeye told his daughter
"You're not mad at me?" Dani asked clinging to Trapper.
"No sweetheart. You were at the table for ten minutes and then calmly told Trapper that you had to leave. That's the way to do it. I'm very proud of you," Hawkeye told his daughter.
"Daddy?"
"What dear?"
"How much longer are they going to be here?"
"I don't know. They're guest and we can't exactly kick them out."
"No, Mom wouldn't be too happy with us, would she?"
"No, she wouldn't, kiddo."
"Can you hold me for a while, Daddy?"
"Only if you want to go back in there?"
"I guess so. Thanks Uncle Trapper. I love you."
"Anytime kiddo and I love you too," Trapper said to her. He gave her a kiss and gave her to the waiting arms of her father.
When they returned to the table Trapper moved Dani's plate over to where Hawkeye was sitting. Although he was involved in conversations he kept looking at the two of them. Dani was situated so that she faced him and not everyone else. Ever so often he would get her to eat a bite of mashed potatoes that were covered in turkey gravy. She would then snuggle up to her father's chest and he would gently rub her back to keep her calm.
After dinner was over Hawkeye wanted to help clean up but was told by his father and Trapper to sit and visit with the guest. Dani was content where she was at and seemed to have fallen back asleep. Everyone was chatting about their memories of the 4077th and before anyone knew it the old grandfather clock chimed 10:00 p.m. Soon people made their departures and planned to call the next day about funeral arrangements for Margaret.
After everyone left Hawkeye excused himself to take Dani upstairs to bed. If he would wake her up now she would never sleep through the night. She had slept the day away and wondered how much longer she would sleep. She had already slept the day away, but she still felt a little warm to the touch and hoped she would sleep for many more hours to come.
Unfortunately Hawkeye didn't get his wish and woke up.
"Daddy, stay with me."
"Sweetheart, I can't," Hawkeye said. Even though he couldn't see her eyes well in dark he knew they had the disappointed look in them. "Listen, most everyone you don't know left. The only person that is still there is Sidney."
"Who's Sidney?" Dani asked.
"He's a dear old friend of both me and your mother's. He helped us get through many trying times during the war and now," Hawkeye said. He didn't tell her that he was a psychologist because she would ask a bunch of questions that he didn't have the energy to answer at the moment. One day he promised to explain it to her, it was just today wasn't a good day. "Are you up to meeting some new?"
"Okay, but you'll be there won't you?"
"Yes, sweetheart, I'll be there, Uncle Trapper and Grandpa Pierce. You know Dani that you could talk to Sidney when you need answers to questions. He's a good source of information." Hawkeye silently wished that she would open up to Sidney. Hawkeye figured that he would be a good person that Dani could turn to talk about her autism and help her find ways to cope in this society and whatever else was on her mind. He realized that she would go to him for everything but sometimes talking to someone else was the better course of action.
Together the two bounded down the stairs ready to face the world together.
The End
Author Note: This story is quite long. I didn't intend for it to be this long but my mind worked overdrive and came up with ideas that needed to be wrapped up. To those who hope Sidney would play a role – yes he will. Y'all will have to wait for the next story that will start where this one left off. Thanks, everyone for ideas and comments. KK.