Blue Moon

Chapter 1

It was a dull, chilly November morning as Remus Lupin- tired, unshaven and lonely- sat gazing out of his filthy window. The sky, recently bereaved of the amiable summer sun, was now filled with dark clouds, which hung over the terrace like the pain of loss.

Remus thought about her every day, even though it was over a year ago that he'd lost her. She was something that never left him, always there, and no amount of happiness could ever eliminate her. He didn't want to eliminate her. He'd stay like this forever just to have her with him.

It was a tragedy, what he'd become, although he didn't really see it. He saw nothing anymore. He was nothing anymore. He stirred his tea slowly and solemnly, staring out from his squalid home into the cold concrete blur below. The smell of his old wax jacket had merged with the air around him, although he'd become used to it by now- he'd been sat there so long.

The Remus Lupin who was now sat on a rickety wicker chair in his dank, dreary living room had hot tears prickling behind his eyes. He hated his grief, and it came every time he saw the photograph. But he couldn't help himself looking every few days. He couldn't bear to lose the memory of her.

Lysandra.

He reached into his coat pocket and shakily pulled out the creased photograph. His lip began to tremble as he failed to contain his sadness.

Tears were rolling down his face now, without his command. She'd been taken from him so early on, they could have had years together, a proper marriage, a house, a loving family... And it was all his fault.

Lysandra smiled up at him from the photograph, her joy radiating the misery that encompassed her memory. Golden curls cascaded gracefully down her shoulders, complimented by laughing sapphire eyes. She was so happy.

Remus had always been alone. His parents had died when he was only fourteen, leaving him in the care of his pleasant but often very busy godmother. He often enjoyed his independence, but he often found himself lacking company when he needed it most.

One such time when he was not lacking the company he needed was his sixteenth birthday.

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It was November 1st, 1965. There was nothing special going on, nothing to suggest that meek, mild- mannered Remus Lupin should be celebrating his 16th birthday. He'd kept it quiet, he didn't like a fuss, yet he was still disappointed his 3 best friends- James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew (Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail respectively)- hadn't even wished him a nice day. Not a year had passed so far when he hadn't received a greeting. Something inside him sighed at the thought that they may have forgotten. He tried not to show it, but deep down, he was rather upset.

He entered the common room alone, having missed his friends for breakfast. This is the way he put it. Actually, they apparently hadn't bothered waiting. Remus' mood dipped at this thought. They'd never done that before, let alone on his birthday. Despite his disappointment, he put a shift on, hoping to maybe catch them before they reached the hall. Unfortunately for Remus, the corridors were completely marauder-free.

Passing a few groups of Ravenclaws and a Slytherin prefect on the way, a very confused Remus arrived at the hall well in time for breakfast. 'That's another point', he thought to himself, 'it's only ten past eight'. He thought nothing of it until he entered the hall to find that they were nowhere to be seen. He would have worried if it were anybody else, but he knew Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs well enough not to be bothered. They could get out of anything. It was only last week they'd managed to get out of expulsion for setting fire to Severus Snapes' pants. How on earth they got away with it by claiming they were practising the Incendio charm when it got out of hand still baffled the sensible Moony.

Remus sat down quietly to the breakfast table. He felt slightly awkward and embarassed at being on his own. He took two slices of toast and ladelled baked beans on top and ate without noise or mess- quickly and efficiently, quite the opposite to how his three friends would've. He drank down a whole goblet of pumpkin juice in one, and resisted the temptation to belch loudly. James and Sirius would have been disappointed.

Still puzzled at the disappearance of his friends, Remus headed back towards the common room alone. He decided to check the Marauder's Map (which had been compiled just last month) to see where his friends were, just to clear his curiosity.

The common room was much busier now. A giggling group of 4th year girls were sat around the fire reading a magazine and a of 3rd year was pinning something to the notice board. Nobody appeared to have noticed Remus coming in, which was convenient. Despite his placidity, he remained a popular aquaintance of many. Well liked, but he didn't flaunt the fact. Right now, he was in no mood to be harassed with greetings. He just wanted to know what the others were up to.

He ascended the wooden steps in his soft, worn out shoes only to be greeted by a terrified- looking first year.

"Good morning," he said, with fleeting eye contact, clearly frightened to death of having to converse with a prefect 4 years older than himself, "Th- the three boys up there have asked me not to let anyone in...er..."

Remus had no difficulty guessing who those three boys were. "They wouldn't happen to be Sirius Black and James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, would they?" Asked Remus with mock inquisition. The first year didn't realise his inquisition was mock.

"Yes," he replied, "James and Sirius are in there. But I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to let anyone in." He looked like he might cry.

"Don't worry," said Remus kindly, but feeling an angry heat towards his friends, "I'll sort this..."

He gently ushered the first year out of the way with his kind authority. However, when he banged on the dormitory door, it was more like manic hammering than kind authority. The first year jumped out of his skin.

"James, Sirius, Peter!" Bellowed Remus, "what the Hell are you doing in there!"

There was a moments pause where Remus was sure the three were whispering over what to say.

"Er..." stammered Sirius, "We're just... cleaning up some...er..."

"Mess." said James, with a tone of finality.

"Yeah," agreed Peter, clearly unable to think of anything better to say.

There was a pause in which Remus was expecting an explanation, but before he had time to speak, James butted in.

"You're not coming in."

The angry heat within Remus had erupted and he's gone rather red, which was more shocking in him than anyone, not only because of his mild temprement, but also because of his normally white, pallid skin tone.

"Well, ha. Okay then." she shouted, not angrily, but not pleasantly. Firmly. Somewhat sadly. The sort of shouting from a nice guy that makes you feel dreadfully guilty and mean.

With that, he sadly descended back to the common room, leaving no time for retaliation. He didn't want to hear it. He slunk secretly through the portrait hole, avoiding eye contact with anyone who might like to talk to him. Down the staircases he went, careful not to put his foot through the vanishing stair, until he arrived at the bottom, in the entrance hall.

Deserted.

Empty.

He sat on the base of a gargoyle for about five minutes, eating a bar of Honeyduke's Best Chocolate, when he heard a familiar but unexpected voice.

"You ok, Remus?"

It was a gentle, soothing female voice which made him look up. The speaker was Lysandra Leonessa, a Ravenclaw prefect from his Care of Magical Creatures class. Remus blushed a rosy colour. She was pretty. She always answered the questions right, yet was never labelled as a know it all. She was shy. Quiet. Yet, despite her placidity, she remained a popular aquaintance of many. Well liked, but she didn't flaunt the fact. She reminded him of someone...

"Er... Yes thanks, I suppose. Not too bad..."

"You just looked a bit down... Someone told me it was your birthday today? Peter... Pettigrew, is it?"

Something inside Remus jumped. It made his face have a momentary spasm. He hoped she hadn't noticed, although that would be inprobable as he'd left his seat without realising at the sound of her words.

"Peter told you that?" He said, trying to maintain a calm tenner to his voice, "you mean, he did remember?"

"Yeah, I suppose he must've," said Lysandra airily, " told me about it yesterday. Had a long conversation with him actually, we talked about loads of rubbish, or rather, he did. He has a lot to say for himself doesn't he?" She laughed a laugh that brought sunshine even to Remus' dark mood. "I got a bit fed up after a while, stopped concentrating when he started going on about what he was planning for tonight and how James and Sirius always wear Tuesday socks on a Friday..."

Remus wondered if that's what they were up to. They were planning to do something tonight, on his birthday, without him. Well, that was fine, he thought to himself. Let them get on with it. Not like he cared... Or did he?

"Well, they've ignored me all day," said Remus, unable to sound totally indifferent to this fact. "They didn't even say happy birthday."

"Really?" said Lysandra, aghast, "That's not good is it?" The care in her tone was genuine. "Well, if you're on your own, Remus, so am I... Do you fancy going for a walk or something? I wouldn't want you to be alone on your birthday or anything..."

Although shocked at this unusual request (he could imagine James and Sirius' face- "Lysandra Leonessa! Wha---!"), he couldn't find any reason why he shouldn't go.

"Thanks," he replied, pleasantly. "That'd be nice."

He left his seat and together they left the castle, out into the cool, green grounds. Maybe his birthday wouldn't turn out so badly after all...

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