Out The Door
Chapter 1 – So Far Down The Road
By amarthaine
Walking aimlessly around the apartment, the young lady touched certain objects with a fondness not seen often before jerking her hand back and willing back the tears that formed in her eyes. Everything held a wonderful memory – a laugh or a smile thrown her way. But those were accompanied by those darker memories – those days when nothing was going right and they fought constantly.
But their fighting shouldn't have led to what it did. She repeated that over and over in her head. But it had. She was alone in her apartment – a nice apartment. True enough. But just yesterday they had been getting a long better than ever – and she woke up that morning to find him gone. Like smoke. He vanished. He left a small note, and she still held in clenched in her hands, a note that she would never throw away.
Hermione,
I know you won't understand, but I have to leave. Move on and forget me – you can easily find someone to love and who will love you back.
That was it. Just a simple note with no purpose but telling her he was gone. A reminder she had to look at every thirty minutes to remind her. She had woken up in one of his over large shirts – and she still had it on. The sleeves came too far past her hand, but she kept it to her face, inhaling his scent, trying to remember what he smelled like. She never wanted to forget. It had become a part of her. A smell she smelled every single morning.
It seemed her memories were already fading, so mentally, she was digging a hole and throwing the memories in as fast as she could. Each object she touched brought back a memory she tossed in to the bottomless pit, whether it was good or bad. Everything had to be saved for a time when she could look back at it all and think through it clearly. A time that fate had thrown so far in the future, that each piece of her would crumble and rebuild itself in a hazardous remake of the former girl.
Almost Five Years Later
Sometimes I wonder if he ever looks back and wonders what would have been with us. I do. Almost every day of my life, I look back and wish I could have changed an answer so he would still be here. But between our attitudes, I still don't know if that ever could have been. We argued so much and neither of us would ever give in. But we still had that spark of something. Those times when the room seemed to be filled with charged electricity – those are the times I like to remember. When he would carefully stroke my cheek and tell me we would always be together.
But he lied to me.
He turned around and left me one day. No explanation. I just found a letter, telling me to move on and fall in love again. As if love was something I could buy from some random stranger in the street. I'm sure for him it was possible. He was who he was. But I'm not like that. I've never been like that. I don't have the money and I probably never will. When I had gone down the next day to pay the rent on my apartment – a place I knew I'd never be able to keep, it was too nice. He'd always helped with that. But I discovered that the apartment had been paid for five years solid.
Those five years are almost up.
I'm only doing this for you Ginny. I want you to know it tears me apart inside to never be able to tell you what happened – but I found a way. I've read of people experiencing their pain through writing – telling their story that way. I'm not doing as most do – I'm writing for your eyes only. I want you to remember that. Share what parts you believe are required with Harry, but only because he's like a brother to me.
And remember, I would have been with Ron, but he died. I want you to remember that also. Remember that this could be our story – he could have left just as easily. It wouldn't have taken much. Not near as much as it did for him and me. We had to work so hard – and I really thought we were going to make it.
He would always give me meaningful gifts – whether he bought them or made them. I still have them all, every single one. It turns out he also left a large sum in our join account we had set up – so he still cared about me. But I'm not sure why he left. I hope some day to find out, because till then, I'll never be happy. If he cared enough for me to pay for my apartment in advance and leave me money, he shouldn't have left. But I'm going to stick that he did it for my own good welfare – or at least, he thinks it was in my best interests.
I apologize in advance for any tear drops that appear on this paper – I thought it best to write it by hand. After all, it makes much more personal, and even though the memories will last that much longer, it'll allow me to remember him in a fonder light for a time being. I wish he would come back for me. The bed is so cold at night.
But I've promised myself I can't dwell on the fact anymore. I've missed so much with you and Harry – I missed the birth of your first child, yet you still bothered to name me the Godmother. I thank you for everything you've done – I deserve to tell you an explanation. An explanation that can attempt to describe why I've been there, yet never heard a word you were saying to you. I will always love him, no matter how much my heart was ripped to shreds.
He will always do that though, don't you see? He's grown up like that. He was raised like that. He was like that in high school. He is Draco Malfoy after all.
Author's Note: So, I've decided to start this story ) I'd love to hear your feedback on it – what you like, dislike, or what you'd like to see. For the most part, I know what is destined to happen in the end, and some stuff in between is planned, but besides that, I really don't have anything else planned. So leave a review and let me know!!