Title: Weary
Author: The Fallen Sky
Rating: PG
Pairing: Chlark
Summary: Superman saved them. But at what cost?
Warning: Major angst
A/N: This story is set in a future AU. There are two POVs in this story. The First Person POV, in Chapter One, is Clark's, while the Third Person POV, in Chapter Two, focuses on Chloe. There's not much else to say, other than my muse could really use some happy pills or something, because she really poured on the sadness with this one. Sorry about that.
Feedback is welcome. Enjoy!
Noise.
It's everywhere.
I can't escape it.
I'm always aware of it, can always hear it. Even when I'm not using my enhanced hearing, it's always there, a dull hum in my ears. I do my best to ignore it, but it wears on me, slowly grinding down my resolve until I can't ignore it anymore, and then the dull hum explodes into a cacophony of sound.
I hear everything.
Gunshots, explosions, screeching tires, crunching metal, shattering glass, crackling flames, booming thunder, roaring winds, raging waters, rumbling earth, crumbling buildings, breaking bones, tearing flesh...they bombard me, all of them hitting me at once, all of the sounds melding together but each one distinct and separate, each one a signal that I'm needed somewhere.
It never ends.
From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, the sounds are there, beckoning to me, mocking me. Even when I'm asleep, I'm still aware of them.
It wears on me.
xXxXxXx
Voices.
They're everywhere.
I can't escape them.
I'm always aware of them, can always hear them. Even when I'm not using my enhanced hearing, they're always there, a dull hum in my ears. I do my best to ignore them, but they wear on me, slowly grinding down my resolve until I can't ignore them anymore, and then the dull hum explodes into a cacophony of sound.
I hear everything.
Screams of anguish, terror and pain, cries of sadness, despair and fear, calls for help, prayers for rescue and salvation, vicious taunts, angry threats, pleas for mercy, malicious lies...they bombard me, all of them hitting me at once, all of the voices melding together but each one distinct and separate, each one a signal that I'm needed by someone.
It never ends.
From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, the voices are there, beckoning to me, mocking me. Even when I'm asleep, I'm still aware of them.
It wears on me.
xXxXxXx
Her heartbeat.
It's always there.
I can't escape it.
I'm always aware of it, can always hear it. Even when I'm not using my enhanced hearing, it's always there, a dull hum in my ears. I do my best to ignore it, but it wears on me, slowly grinding down my resolve until I can't ignore it anymore, and then the dull hum explodes into a deafening, thunderous pounding.
I hear everything.
The slow and steady rhythm of relaxation and sleep, the rapid staccato of excitement, arousal or fear, the flutter of deep affection and love, the broken and disjointed wobble of sadness...they bombard me, all of them hitting me in turn, each one a signal that she's alive and well.
It never ends.
From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, her heartbeat is always there, beckoning to me, mocking me. Even when I'm asleep, I'm still aware of it.
It wears on me.
xXxXxXx
Her voice.
It's always there.
I can't escape it.
I'm always aware of it, can always hear it. Even when I'm not using my enhanced hearing, it's always there, a dull hum in my ears. I do my best to ignore it, but it wears on me, slowly grinding down my resolve until I can't take it anymore, and then the dull hum explodes into a deafening shout.
I hear everything.
Muttered curses under her breath, tough questions seeking the truth, defensive statements, accusations, orders, tears and muted sobs, lilting and raucous laughter, girlish giggles, sultry whispers, contented purrs, gasps and moans of pleasure, screams of ecstasy, heartfelt confessions of love...they bombard me, all of them hitting me in turn, each one a signal that she's alive and well, that she's moved on, that she doesn't need me.
It never ends.
From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, her voice is always there, beckoning to me, mocking me. Even when I'm asleep, I'm still aware of it.
It wears on me.
xXxXxXx
My loneliness, sadness and despair.
They're always there.
I can't escape them.
I'm always aware of them, can always feel them. Even when I'm surrounded by people calling my name and cheering for me, or when I'm with other members of the Justice League, or when I'm with my friends or my mother, they're always there, a dull ache in my chest. I do my best to ignore them, but they wear on me, slowly grinding down my resolve, and I'm afraid that, one day, I won't be able to take it anymore, and then the dull ache will explode, shattering my heart and turning my soul to dust.
I feel everything.
The weight of all the people I've failed to save, the weight of all the people I have yet to save, the weight of an unwanted destiny, the weight of power undreamed of and the responsibility that comes with it, the weight of knowing that no matter how much I do, how many lives I save, it will never be enough, the weight of knowing that I'll never have a normal life, will never have a wife and children, the weight of knowing that the woman I love, my best friend, the reason I continue to fight even when I feel like giving up doesn't love me anymore, not the way she used to, not the way I want her to, not the way I need her to...they weigh on me, all of them taking their toll, slowly crushing my soul and sapping my spirit, each of them a punishment for some unknown crime I must have committed, some wrong I perpetrated.
It never ends.
From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, every second of every day, the burden of my destiny, of who I am is always there, beckoning to me, mocking me. Even when I'm asleep, I'm still aware of it, can never escape it.
It wears on me.
xXxXxXx
Calm, quiet, peace and contentment.
They're new to me.
I've never felt them before, not like this, not so completely.
I don't ever want to escape from them, don't ever want to lose this feeling, don't ever want to go back to before.
The pain, the sadness, the loneliness, the burden...they're all gone. Erased, like they never existed. Only a faint echo in my mind of before, of what was, reminds me that there even was a before.
I feel nothing.
The guilt of not saving those who needed saving, the sense of duty and responsibility to use my powers to help everyone, the doubt of whether I'm worthy of the praise and admiration that's heaped upon me, the hopelessness I feel when I realize the struggle, the fight to help and save people will never end, the fear that I'll always be alone, that I'll live forever and never be loved by the one person I love above all others...they no longer weigh on me, no longer crush my spirit, wound my soul or break my heart.
It's finally ended.
From the moment I was born to this moment, the burden of my destiny, of who I am was always there, beckoning to me, mocking me. Even as I did my very best to avoid and escape my fate, to be normal, to live the life I wanted, I was still aware of it, could never escape it.
It wore on me.
Now, at long last, I'm free.