Chapter 1

Freak Out!

Dexter Douglas was about to FREAK OUT! Despite being in his favorite class (Science would always have a special place in his heart after his teacher set the floor on fire on the first day of school to demonstrate the Leidenfrost effect) and knowing it was less than five minutes till the bell rang and school was out, he was about 43 seconds away from a total meltdown.

His day had started normally enough. Duncan, his older brother, had elbowed him in the hallway when their Mom had announced she was making pancakes. Dexter's Dad hadn't looked up from the morning paper while he'd told Duncan to stop kicking his brother from under the table, and Dexter had been subject to teasing and name calling from said brotherly nuisance the entire bus ride to school. All in all, a typical day in the life of Dexter Douglas.

Things had only started to really go downhill during gym class, which wouldn't have been surprising under normal circumstance, but today was a very unpleasant exception. You see, Dexter Douglas was what one might call a nerd. No, not the cliché, he-reads-books-and-wears-glasses type nerd, (although he was that type as well), Dexter was a goes-on-an-hour-long-tangent-about-climate-change nerd. You know, like an actually intelligent person who also might have a slight obsession with comics, cartoons, and staying informed on current events.

Despite what the media may tell you, being into Star Wars and Anime wasn't something people really got much flack about, in fact, it usually ended up making you more friends. In reality, the kids who get bullied are usually the type of people who point out that trying to look up girls skirts on the stairs is "creepy" and "wrong", or that calling your fellow teammates "gay' for missing the basket was "kinds homophobic, guys". It was this last example that landed Dexter in hot water.

While playing basketball with his more athletic teammates, Dexter had made the rookie mistake of pointing out casual homophobia while only 6 feet away from one of the most notorious Zero Tolerance enforcers in school, their gym teacher, Mrs. Running. Everything else had gone downhill from there. After shrinking away from his teammates withering glares, Mrs. Running had stalked out from the shadows and taken their team aside for a "talk".

"I can understand a little playful ribbing here and there, but as Dexter so eloquently put, referring to your fellow teammates as 'gay' is completely unacceptable! Now, since this is your first offense, I'm going to be lenient with your punishment and only make you come to school tomorrow at 8 o'clock to help clean up around the gym. Unless you want detention."

Mrs. Running turned to an anxious looking Dexter and smiled in a way that was probably supposed to be seen as comforting. "Except you of course Dexter, thank you for speaking up dear."

Dexter had watched in horror as the eyes of all his teammates had narrowed at him in sync, collectively attempting to bore holes straight through his skull for the rest of gym class. In an attempt to avoid any conflict, he'd stayed behind and put away basketballs as slowly as he possibly could, hoping that by the time he was finished the locker room would be empty.

As he finally made his way to the locker room to change out of his gym clothes, he was unpleasantly surprised with what he found waiting for him. His teammates, along with some others he hadn't upset earlier, were gathered around his open locker and seemed to be rummaging around with his stuff. Before he could make a hasty retreat, his sneakers squeaked traitorously and Dexter froze as the group of jocks heads whipped around in unison.

"Well, well, well, would you look who it is! Hey Douglas. Feeling pretty good about yourself, huh?"

Jimmy Nasium stuffed Dexters things back into his locker as his posse blocked off the exit and circled Dexter threateningly.

"I'm supposed to be at a party tomorrow DexTurd. Now, thanks to you? I'm gonna be stuck cleaning up gym supplies! You know I was the one who was supposed to bring the beer? Without me, that holiday party's gonna tank and it's all your fault!"

Jim's right hand man Rick O'Shea shoved Dexter to the floor roughly and grunted in agreement. Dexter shuffled away from the steadily encroaching jocks in fear. He hadn't been beat up in a while, and he'd really been hoping to keep it that way.

"I-I didn't mean for Mrs. Running to punish you guys! It was an accident, I swear!"

Before he could stutter out an apology, Jim scoffed and grabbed Dexter by his collar, yanking him forward and leveling him with a glare.

"Everyone knows you're a brown nosing, teacher's pet Douglas. If you see an opportunity to get some extra credit or a pat on the head, you'll sell anyone out."

With a painful jerk, Jim slammed Dexter's back into his locker and pulled him forward again.

"The thing is? I knew the second I got stuck with you on my team you were gonna drag us down. After all, what would you know about working with others? Nobody would be caught dead hanging out with a snot nosed, tattle tale like you."

Jim slammed Dexter into his locker in frustration once more and loosened his grip as Dexter's glasses slid down his nose pitifully.

"I honestly don't get why Steff even bothers with you…"

Dexter took in a shaky breath and weakly tried to pull himself up. He wished he could look Jim in the eye and tell him off, but Dexter couldn't even bring himself to look the guy in the eye most days, much less talk back. Maybe Jim was right...

"Tomorrow, you're going to explain to that you made a huge mistake, and then you're going to apologize and clean up the gym for us. I'm not missing that party and wasting my vacation just because your gay ass can't take a joke."

Jim finally let go of Dexter's collar and stepped back, seemingly satisfied with the level of dishevelment Dexter had reached.

"But-! I can't just- She won't believe me! If you guys don't go…"

Suddenly, Rick charged forward and punched Dexter straight in the gut, winding him and knocking his glasses clean off.

"Just. Take. Care of it."

Jim knelt down in front of Dexter as he struggled desperately to breathe and laughed good naturedly.

"The teachers love you Douglas. I'm sure you and Running will work something out."

Jim idly picked up Dexter's fallen glasses and placed them crookedly on Dexter's reddened and teary face, smile darkening as he leaned forward and and lowered his voice.

"And if I hear anything about our little talk here? In fact, if I hear anything about you making trouble like today again? I'll destroy you Douglas. I. Will. End you."

Dexter nodded eagerly, internally begging whatever higher being that allowed all of this to happen to just let this godforsaken interaction end.

"Good! Have fun at school tomorrow!"

Dexter closed his eyes and let out a shaky sigh, not daring to move away from his locker until he was alone. After that sound of sneaker finally faded he stood on trembling legs and opened his locker to change out of his sweaty gym clothes.

"...You've got to be kidding me."

Dexter groaned, his clothes were soaking wet. What was more, all his textbooks and folders looked like someone had stepped on them, which probably wasn't far from the truth. He attempted to pull his clothes from his locker in hopes he could dry them out but quickly jerked his hand away as the scent of them reached his nose.

"Oh! That's just…! Gross!"

Dexter slammed his locker closed in frustration, hugging his dirty and torn textbooks and folders to his chest as he made his way to the bathroom. After making sure the bathroom was clear and finding an empty stall, Dexter sat down and finally let himself cry. He knew it wasn't really his fault, but that didn't stop him from thinking of every possible route he could have taken to avoid all this.

He'd been so stupid, saying what he had out loud, but he'd just been so annoyed that every time he'd missed a basket someone called him gay. It wasn't only hurtful, but just a screwed up insult in general. He hadn't even expected anyone to hear him, but of course Mrs. Running had been listening. Lord forbid he catch a break for once.

Things had actually been looking up for once too. There was a con coming up, he'd finally saved up enough money to get some special computer parts he'd been wanting, and he'd managed to stay out of trouble for a whole month now. Way to kill a winning streak Dexter.

How was he gonna manage to convince Mrs. Runner that she hadn't heard what she and probably the entire gym class had obviously heard? She would tear any excuse he made up to shreds, and she'd probably write up Jim and his posse for detention if they didn't show up tomorrow. If she did that, they'd kill him for sure!

"I just can't win…"

Dexter sighed to himself as he finished recounting his misfortune. He was so lost in thought that he flinched in surprise as the bell rang, signaling that school was out. His fellow classmates made their way to the door, completely ignoring Professor Stein as he attempted to hand out science fair pamphlets. Dexter smiled at his teacher sympathetically and Prof Stein smiled back and handed him a pamphlet.

"I hope I can expect something exciting from you again this year Mr. Douglas" Prof Stein encouraged.

Dexter took out a book from his backpack and nodded enthusiastically.

"Actually, I was reading this book on dinosaurs and the latests revelations in their actual appearances and behaviors! I was thinking of making a digital replica of what a dinosaur would actually look like of I were to apply all this newfound research!"

Prof Stein nodded proudly as he gathered his teaching binder and laughed.

"I can't wait to see what you make of their collective research ! Just don't be afraid to insert your own thoughts and theories as well. Considering your history of study into your subjects of choice, who knows? You may just be the one to make the next scientific breakthrough in dinosaur biology!"

Dexter nodded and waved goodbye to Prof Stein as he left the classroom, leaving Dexter to his own thoughts again. He thought about heading straight home, but the thought of dealing with his jerky brother and his lackluster parents was exhausting. He opened his book and skimmed it over silently. His computer parts would be arriving today, but it wasn't like they couldn't wait. He just wanted to read his book and not have to worry about bullies or teasing or his inevitable destruction at the hands of Jim and his posse. Was that too much to ask?

-er! Dexaroonie? Hellooooo? I have something amazing to show you~."

Dexter blinked in confusion as he suddenly became aware that someone was speaking to him and waving something in his face. Someone named…

"Steff?"

Stephanie Stewart grinned impatiently and nodded.

"Duh! Who else? Now are you ready? I've been waiting to show you this all day!"

Dexter's brain stalled as he tried to remember what it was she was referring to. Then it hit him. The con! Steff had agreed to help Dexter make a cosplay for it a few weeks ago and she had been telling him she was working on the sketches. Dexter nodded, realizing he was being a bit slow to respond.

"Yeah! Sure, lay it on me."

Steff straightened up and cleared her throat theatrically, raising the folded paper slowly.

"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's…"

Steff opened the folded paper with a snap of her wrist. "Bird Plane Man!"

Steff waved her cosplay blueprints in front of Dexter's face enthusiastically as she leaning forward eagerly.

"What do you think Dex?"

Dexter Douglas wasted no time in responding to her enthusiasm in kind, closing his book as an impressed grin broke across his face.

"It's great! I love It!"

Taking a closer look at the detailed notes Dexter adjusted his glasses thoughtfully.

"Are you going to make the feathers out of paper or fabric? Orrrrr…?"

She carefully refolded the costume sketch and smiled proudly.

"Nope! It's going to be authentic bald eagle feathers. Once you make a true American cosplay of a true American hero, you have to go ALL the way with it."

"Oh."

Sliding onto her desk behind him, Steff unfolded her sketch again and looked it over thoughtfully.

"I just wish I could get more of them. There won't be any new supplies until January!" She huffed.

Dexter stowed his book away in his backpack making sure to bookmark his page and turned in his seat to face her.

"Well, online shops still exist, we could order some there. With express shipping you should have enough time before the con. In fact, I ordered some new computer parts yesterday night the same way and they should be arriving today."

Steff smiled placatingly in the face of Dexter's enthusiasm and shrugged.

"Oh, I never actually shop online! I like buying physical things and knowing exactly what I'm getting. Does that make me a caveman?"

Dexter deflated a bit but shrugged back good naturedly.

"It's fine. To each their own."

Sensing a lull in their conversation, Dexter frowned a bit as certain thoughts wormed their way back into his mind.

"Hey Steff…"

Hearing the change in tone, Steff lowered her sketch and looked to Dexter in concern. He idly pulled at the hem of his shirt and glanced at his shoes shyly.

"You sure I'm not...bothering you too much?"

Steff relaxed her shoulders and smiled, responding with no hesitation.

"No silly!

Sliding off her desk, she made her way to the classroom door as she continued in a cheery, casual air.

"ACTUAL bothering would end with me blocking you from all social media and purging you from my life and memories. Fortunately for you, I enjoy making cosplays!"

Dexter smiled, unconsciously relaxing his posture as he did. Sliding out from his desk he slung his backpack over his shoulder and followed Steff as she strode out the classroom. She slowed a bit so Dexter could catch up and pulled him closer, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Besides, I like seeing you all excited and passionate about things! As far as I'm concerned, your interests are my interests."

Dexter smiled softly at the contact, hiding a small wince as the bruise on his stomach ached. Steff was probably Dexters best friend. They'd been friends since pre school, but they'd recently gotten a lot closer this year. Dexter didn't really know the reason, but he'd thank his lucky stars for whatever it was every day. Steff was smart, funny, super talented in sports and artistic design, and she was, in Dexter's opinion, the prettiest girl in school.

As Dexter waved goodbye to Steff and they parted ways, Dexter to his home, Steff to her parents car, he couldn't help the blush that rose on his cheeks as she blew him a kiss.

He knew she didn't mean it like that, but what could he do? He'd had a thing for her since the 3rd grade! Besides, it was just a crush. He actually really valued his friendship with her, and he wasn't about to risk it for some stupid, one sided infatuation. She deserved to be in a relationship with a super good looking, awesome guy who she was head over heels in love with, and he just couldn't imagine being that for her. Dexter had a mirror, he knew was no prince charming.

Dexter sighed as Duncan tossed a crumpled chunk of paper at his head from behind him (probably his homework). Maybe he was just looking at this all wrong? He just needed to look at the bright side of things for once, be more positive, like those throwaway inspirational quotes on his moms facebook page. After all, there was still a whole bunch of great things going for him! He was best friends with his favorite person in the world, he was getting good grades in all his classes (Even gym!), there was an exciting con coming up that he knew was gonna be fun, and with any luck, today was the day he'd finally be getting a Pinnacle chip!

Dexter smiled as Harry Connick High School faded behind him, spirits brightening. He'd been researching computer upgrades for months after saving up enough money and the second he'd laid eyes on the pinnacle chip he knew that he had to have it. Sadly, it hadn't been released yet, but the minuet it had, Dexter had probably one of the first to order one.

So what if today had been a bust? Dexter still had something to look forward to, and he wasn't going to let anything get in the way of that.

MEANWHILE

"No! You listen to me!"

The sun reflected brightly against the sheer glass windows of the Apex Microchips Tower in the center of town. One particular Tower window of clean city glass peered into the office of none other than Armando Guitierrez, owner and president of Apex Industries.

"I have the perfect idea for the new ad! This is all we need!"

Gutierrez paced confidently across his carpeted office floor, cell phone clenched tightly. He turned to his office window and stared with focused eyes at the city skyline, an incredible view to be sure.

"It's simple, yet super effective. Just two words-"

Guitierrez paused and looked down at his free hand, brows creasing at the simi legible scrawl across his palm.

"Wrapping. Lumbar."

He grinned proudly for a moment before frowning at the callers response.

"Sir, rapping mascots died out at least a decade ago…"

Before he could respond, Gutierrez's call was cut short by an unexpected guest.

"CRUUUUUUD!"

Guitierrez whipped his head around just in time to see his employee and coworker, Roddy MacStew, literally kick the door open.

"Disaster! Catastrophe! Un-Be-Lievable!"

Roddy's hands shook with unbridled urgency as he crumpled scattered notes of binary and code in his hands. Not bothering to give a proper goodbye given the circumstances, Gutierrez quietly hung up and stowed his phone away, remaining calm in the face of Roddy's anger.

"Easy, MacStew, what's the matter?"

Roddy waved his now crumpled notes urgently at Gutierrez.

"Our new Pinnacle chip...is flawed!"

Gutierrez's face noticeably darkened at the revelation and he straightened, turning to look more closely at Roddy.

"Flawed? How exactly?"

Roddy began to pace as he looked to his notes, hand reaching to idly pull at his hair as he explained.

"Well, first, the user has to be connected to the Internet. Then, a precise sequence of keys has to be typed into the address bar of the browser followed by DELETE. If this was done, the chip would release a powerful energy blast transferring information from the entire Internet directly into the users mind, subsequently giving them godlike powers that NO ONE should possess!"

Gutierrez listened to Roddy's exposition thoughtfully, face never betraying any emotion beside a neutral frown. After Roddy had seemingly finished, he cocked his head slightly and leaned forward.

"Oh my. That sounds incredibly contrived and unlikely. Are you sure about all that?"

Roddy huffed and threw down his notes in frustration.

"As certain as debt and taxes! We need to stop production IMMEDIATELY!"

Side stepping the piles of crumpled papers, Gutierrez straightened his tie and shook his head calmly.

"I'm afraid that's impossible, my friend. Too many of them have already been sold for the holiday season! Tell me, what are the odds of any of this happening?"

"450,000,00 to 1." Roddy grumbled, scowling at Gutierrez as he scooped up his disheveled notes from the floor warily.

Gutierrez scoffed, shrugging as he turned away from the disgruntled worker.

"That settles it then. There is no way I would risk my reputation because of such a RIDICULOUSLY slim chance!"

Roddy clutched his notes to his chest like an old southern woman clutching her pearls.

"ANY chance of this happening is extremely dangerous! Either you're canceling everything or I'm leaving this company!"

Gutierrez turned to look over Roddy's disheveled form, visibly unimpressed.

"Well, the door is right there." He conceded, jerking his thumb to his office door.

Roddy spluttered for a moment, aghast and very offended.

"I'm one of your best employees!?"

Guitierrez grinned confidently and loomed over Roddy.

"A good employee doesn't sabotage sales."

Roddy's expression hardened and he jerked back, roughly bumping his shoulder with Gutierrez's as he made his way to the door.

"I'll tell everyone Gutierrez! Through word of mouth and the Internet! People will find out eventually."

Perturbed, Guitierrez scowled and spun around to face him.

"Oh! Is that so? Then I will search for your name online and leave mean comments under your announcements!"

Guitierrez suddenly collected himself and smirked.

"Either way, you would never actually risk letting anyone know of the flaw and discovering the sequence, would you?"

Roddy growled and made his way out of Gutierrez's office, casting one last glance back at his former boss before heading towards the hallway.

"Crud Gutierrez! I swear, If anything goes wrong…"

Guitierrez waited for a few minuets to make sure Roddy was well on his way out, then walked over to his desk and pressed his security button. In moments, armored men filed into his office.

"Follow Roddy MacStew! Make sure he isn't aware of your presence and do not engage without my say so. Report back to me if he speak to or corresponds with anyone!"

The men saluted and filed out of the room dutifully, and Guitierrez turned to look out his office window at the company parking lot. Far down below, he watched as Roddy's small figure stomped over to his car and drove off.

"God-like powers, huh? We'll have to see then, won't we MacStew?"

Guitierrez was no fool. He understood that a scientific marvel like this could not be wasted. What kind of idiot would he be, to discontinue and throw out the chips? No, he had a much better plan. Let the public use them to their hearts content, if nothing happened, then nothing happened! Another successful Apex product. And if MacStew tracked down some hapless victim? Well, free test subjects were free test subjects! Who was he to put them to waste?

"Let us see what this Pinnacle chip can really do!"

Dexter hummed to himself as he slowly made his way towards him home. Duncan had rushed passed him earlier, seeming to only do so out of pure spite, not that it mattered. Dexter was too focused on planning a relaxing afternoon finishing his homework and upgrading his computer. Maybe he could even catch up on playing some Game Guy too! Dexter finally made his way up his porch and pushed open the door, greeted with the sight of his father still reading the same paper he'd been reading that same morning.

"Looking chirpy today Dexter." His dad hummed, not bothering to actually look up from his paper. Dexter honestly thought his dad had perfected the art of awareness when it came to being simultaneously oblivious and hyper aware of all his surroundings. Or maybe his dad was really good at guessing, who knows?

"Sweet holiday season is here." Dexter explained, stretching in the doorway. "And nothing is going to ruin it!"

Almost as if in response to Dexter's happiness, Duncan saw fit to rear his sorry head.

"Hey Dexterior! Com'ere, I'll make a Christmas turdukan out of you!"

Dexter slumped and turned away, wondering if making a mad dash for his room was still an option.

"Oh Boy."

Ignoring Dexter's response Duncan stomped over to Dexter with his usual threatening air.

"I got caught with your stupid cheat sheet, Dexturd."

Dexter scowled. "I told you that recapping the entire textbook on a tiny piece of paper was a bad idea!"

Duncan looked unimpressed at Dexter's response and socked him in the arm in response.

"What was that?"

Rubbing his now sore arm Dexter weakly countered.

"I said, if you stopped cheating-"

Duncan quickly yanked Dexter forward by his collar and held his free arm out in a ready-to-punch motion.

"What was that?" He repeated.

"Duncan? Are you trying to dislocate Dexter's shoulder again?" Douglas said casually, eyes still glued to his newspaper. "Stop that."

Duncan looked at his father, moments away from socking Dexter in the jaw, before scoffing and shoving Dexter aside. Their mom came into the room just as Duncan made his way up the stairs, cherry grin plastered on her face, as always.

"Please focus on dislocating the trash from your room, Honey." She called after Duncan sweetly before turning to a disgruntled Dexter. "Dex,Your computer parts have arrived sweetie."

Dexter smiled and took the box eagerly. "Already? Sweet! Thanks mom! I'm gonna go put this in!"

Dexter made his way to his room excitedly, his mother smiling as her son disappeared around the corner.

"It's nice that he's so good with technology." Douglas said matter-of-factly, eyes still trained on his paper.

"Years of constructing lego sets for Duncan have finally paid off!" Debbie chirped as she went back to whatever joy sucking menial task she had been occupied with earlier.

Dexter hurried past Duncan's open door, pretending to not hear his brother call after him and made a beeline to his room, slamming the door behind him. After locking the door, Dexter slid into his favorite chair next to his desk and set the box on his lap. Mr. Chubbikins meowed lazily to Dexter, hopping off his bed and waddling to his feet needily.

"Hey Mr. Chubbikins. Guess what I got?"

Mr. Chubbikins meowed again, ignoring his question in favor of getting scratches behind his ears and purring softly. Dexter smiled at his cute, chubby cat and shook his head.

"Good guess, but no cigar. Well, let me show you then."

Dexter took his exact-o knife off his desk and cut away the labels and tape securing the box, setting the box carefully upright on his lap.

"And now...Presenting our special guest…"

Dexter peeled back the box cover and pulled out a small metallic chip from copious amounts of packing peanuts and styrofoam molds.

"The Pinnacle Chip!"

After looking over the scientific marvel in glee, Dexter glanced over to Mr. Chubbikins for his reaction. Mr. Chubbikins did what any cat would do in the face of such a dramatic reveal, and yawned. Dexter 'Awww'd internally at the sight, then got to work opening his computer and inserting the chip.

He didn't need to look at the instructions of course. The day he'd ordered the Pinnacle Chip, he'd learned everything there was to know about it out of sheer excitement. He quickly disassembled and reassembled his computer and placed his monitor on top carefully, turning his computer on and opening Oogle Nome.

"Now, some tea would be great..."

As Dexter got up and went to get himself a much deserved hot beverage, Mr. Chubbikins became enthralled with the shimmering wings of a small butterfly hovering around the monitor on Dexter's desk. Mr. Chubbikins stealthy (or as stealthily as a chunky cat could) hopped up Dexter's chair and onto his keyboard. Unbeknownst to Mr. Chubbikins, with every clumsy swipe at the elusive butterfly, he was entering the exact keys needed to set in motion some very upsetting events. Bad kitty!

"Mr. Chubbikins!"

Dexter set aside his cup of tea and lifted his chunky cat away from his keyboard. Mr. Chubbikins meowed in protest, but otherwise didn't put up much of a fight.

"Look what you've done…"

Dexter set his cat aside and sat down, looking over Mr. Chubbikins awful attempt at typing for a moment before reaching for his keyboard and pressing DELETE.

Xamag-Main on Tumblr was the inspiration for this story! Seriously, go check out their art and ideas and tell me you're not inspired. They also have a Youtube channel where they made three whole videos storyboarding a remake of the origin story for the Freakazoid episode The Chip. I can only hope they keep making more Freakazoid content, because the rest of the world is definitely slacking! Feedback is super appreciated!