Tim the chaos terminator
Tim the chaos terminator
The Fist of Chaos, a massive emperor class battle ship desecrated in the name of chaos to serve them in battle in the stars, drifted silently above the world of Cakek, Cakek was a bakery world of vast importance to the Imperium, without Cakek the Imperium would run out of cakes to celebrate anything, Cakek was ruled over by the almost unheard of Adeptus Cakus, but the battleship was there for a different reason than to deprive the Imperium of anything , it was there for a vast undertaking not done for an entire year, this reason was to make Tim the Chaos Terminator a birthday cake big enough to hold ten thousand candles.
On the surface of Cakek, gingerbread guardsmen gathered at bunkers and other defence installations readying their, Jelly tot guns for the battle ahead, huge quad barrelled croissants raised their guns to the sky ready to shoot down any aircraft in a stream of boiling hot liquorice then suddenly dots in the sky that looked like meteorites zoomed out of the clouds and slammed into the defence installations and ground surrounding them, one hit a bunker and bounced of coming to a halt on top of a tank and from the occupants inside came a cry of "not again", out of a particularly ornate looking drop pod stepped a warrior dressed in the, the archaic power armour of the chaos space marines and an apron and chefs hat shouting covered in dark sigils "let the cooking begin in the name of the dark gods"
The Gingerbread guardsmen caught off guard (ironic that don't you think) from the drop pods were slaughtered very quickly, the battle lasted for about 50 seconds as a Emperor class dough titan stepped on them all (apart from the warrior in the apron and chefs hat and also miraculously the Chaos space Marines in the drop pod that bounced onto the tank)
Miles above the epic battle taking place a midshipman of the battleship was playing pong and was about to beat the high score set by Abaddon the Despoiler when the commander of the Chaos marines walked in cursing he switched of the screen and turned back to his scanner and realised almost all of the assault party was dead, the commander noticed that as well at the same time and with a groan and a sigh of "Not again" he walked out and cursed the gods he couldn't have stayed loyalist, they did very nice cakes nowadays but back then they had been all dry and horrible which was the reason for their rebellion, well that and they did it on a dare from Horus.
The warrior dressed in an apron and chefs hat muttered darkly to himself about titan and compensating for something as he rolled the drop pod of the tank the warrior (whose name was Boris the "Bad luck" baker) groaned and pushed as the several ton vessel rolled of the roof of the tank and landed with a clang, the marines inside it stumbled out ears ringing faintly, one fell over, as they surveyed the scene of devastation around them they saw what looked like crushed armoured jam jars and curious some bent down to taste the "jam" and realising what it was left it alone jam was better than blood any day.