Heart at war

Part 1

Karai sat in the throne room with Shinigami by her side. She couldn't focus on anything Shini was saying. Her mind was somewhere else. On someone else.

"I just can't believe one move and bum Tiger Claw is down! End the thing she did while we were fighting? You know this strange… form her hands…" Shini tried to draw the telepathic trick in the air with her hands.
Karai nodded paying no attention to her friend. "Are you even listening?" She got scolded after repeating the motion.

"Yeah." Karai looked at Shinigami and received an angry glare.

"Then what did I say?"

"I thought I was your sensei and that would mean I'm supposed to ask questions, not you." Karai said cockily, turning her head to another side.

"So what were you thinking about?" Karai wanted to snap quick nothing but before she got a chance to open her mouth Shini added with a playful smirk. "Or who?"

Karai sighed loudly. Maybe she was a kunoichi but so was her friend, and it was hard to hide anything from her. And now Karai wasn't even trying. She was too confused to even attempt.

"I think it's one of the four brothers." Shinigami mocked. "Obviously not the orange one, too dump for you and already into me. Also not the purple one, I can see he and the red head have a thing going on, and while we're on them I think the red one should not interfere. It was fun to kick April's ass but image kicking her and the lover. So wait who is left? His name… How you said it? Leo, calm down! I'm not your enemy!"

"Oh, stop it." Karai rolled her.

"Oh, come on! When the red head asked you, you told her to get lost. But when Leo walked in…" Karai stood up.

"Oh my God." She sighed.

"And how sad you were when he just walked out-"

"Alright, that's enough, Shini." Karai took of her helmet and placed it in the vault inside the throne.

"Don't be like that, Karai." Shinigami tilted her head back. Only few subject annoyed her friend and when she found one she ensured to make the best of it. "Don't you remember how you freaked out when Tiger Claw beat the blue one down?"

"Alright, I'm going out." Karai walked down toward the door.

"Isn't it too late?" Shinigami yelled after her friend.

"Nah, don't worry mom. I'll call if I needed ya." Before she closed the door she heard.

"You don't even have a phone anymore!"

She ran fast, and did not look back. She let her feet lead her. She didn't know how long she was out, but she noticed she ran passed the same buildings.
"Shit." She whispered to herself when she stopped on one of them. She was out of breath, thirsty, tired and frustrated. She was angry at herself for not hiding her emotions, for making a fool out of herself in front of Shinigami.

But she was so tired of hiding. And she had hoped Loe would understand or at least try. Instead he walked out without saying a word.
But he also came to help her when she asked him to.
And again they didn't speak. She wanted for it to mean nothing. But she knew it meant something. And it bothered her. Because she knew all her choices were wrong, but in the end it was supposed to turn out right. But they found her before she could repair all the bad things Shredder had done. Because some of them she had done with him and she wasn't going to stop before she atoned their sins.

She felt the air moved behind her and she turned around. He stood there with his katanas on his back. His eyes were white, something that always absorbed her. She scolded herself when she caught herself staring at him.

"You came here to stare at me the whole night?" She smirked, although she didn't want to vex him.

"I could ask you the same thing." But there was no grin on his lips nor amusement in his voice. "Won't you explain anything?"

"Do you even want to understand?" Her laugh was bittersweet when she heard him say.

"I can try." It was not what she expected from him, but at least he was willing to give her a chance to explain herself.

"So where do you want me to start from?" She wished he knew already or at least was looking at her with his eyes and not empty, white eyeballs.

"Maybe from how you were fine, but didn't even try to let us now so we wouldn't waste months looking for you?-"

"Leo-"

"Or wouldn't worry for you? Sleep peacefully at night?"

"You don't understand, Leo! You don't even want to!"

"Alright, I don't! You know why?" He yelled at her for the first time and for some reason she felt sick. "Because for months I was worried sick about you! I put so much pressure on guys, especially Donnie to find a cure for you and all this time you were alright and didn't give a fuck about us! So tell me how am I supposed to understand?"

"Okay, you tried to help and you did. But how could I come home after all I'd done?" Karai turned around because she couldn't handle with how much anger and disappointment he was looking at her. "Not only what I did when I was under Shredder's control but before! I tried to kill you all, I was a criminal."
"Even when you told me the truth I went back to Shredder's lair and almost got you killed!"

"So you decided to do what you do best!" He snapped. She could feel him come closer. "You ran!"

"I didn't run, Leo!" She turned around and found herself screaming right into his face. "I decided to restore my honor." She wanted to calm herself but the way she was speaking didn't show it.

"And rebuilding our enemy clan is going to do the job?" He threw one of his hands in the air in rage.

"Fuck you, Leo. You want honor, but when for once in my life I try to do something good you say it's wrong!"

"Where is honor in this?"

"Honor is to save something when you can. Just because it's not your way it doesn't mean it dishonors me!" When he didn't respond and only frown grew bigger on his face she continued. "I'm just trying to save something Shredder rotten for two decades!

"You can't save rotten things, Karai!" It felt like someone stabbed her in the back, she felt like she was hurt for the first time, betrayed for the first time. She looked away refusing to show him tears that appeared there for the first time in few years.

"Then why did you try to save me?" She whispered harshly, taking several steps away from him.

He managed to hear the pain in her voice anyway. He understood what he said for her had a hidden agenda.

"Because you weren't as bad as you pretended to be. You still aren't." He told her softly. He tried to come over her but she would only move away into shadows.

"Then you were not as good as you pretended to be. And you're still not." With that she did what she did the best. She ran.

To be continued...