Disclaimer: Life with Derek is copyright Shaftesbury, Disney Channel, Family Channel, and Nickelodeon. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement intended. It will be removed immediately and without question upon request.
Author's Note: For those of you familiar with my one-shots, this is going to be a bit different. I've been reading some LwD stories around here and I got interested in writing the present tense style rather than my usual past tense style. I'm sure you guys could figure out which authors they are since there aren't that many who write in present tense. By the way, check out their stories and I hope you enjoy mine.
P.S. There are very small spoilers from 'Derek Denies Denial' but you don't really have to had watched the episode to follow along.
Being Me
He wonders why she's mad at him. He hasn't done anything and yet, she gets on his case like there's no tomorrow. He doesn't get it.
This is their fifth argument that month and he is tired of it; he's tired of the fighting, the making-up, and then the breaking-up, all for the cycle to repeat again. They're not Sam and Casey, so he wonders how their relationship ended up as such. Sally's yelling at him again, but he doesn't understand for what reason. Finally, she huffs and leaves. They've broken up again. He really doesn't get it.
It is Sally's birthday and he's holding the unwrapped gift in his hand. He wonders why she returned the gift to him and then complains something about a necklace. He fingers the charm bracelet with the small princess crown gingerly before he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. He really does not understand girls. Maybe he should've given the bracelet to Casey like he originally planned to do, before deciding that it is a bad idea because they still can't stand each other. It is a nice bracelet and should've made a nice gift, but he just doesn't understand why Sally doesn't like it or want it.
Casey cautiously enters his room and asks him what the fight was about this time. She's been around for most of his and Sally's argument and usually helps them make-up again. She's here for her job once again.
He reluctantly shows her the charm bracelet he bought and plops onto his bed to brood. She squeals from delight and he wishes he had earmuffs.
"What's wrong with this?" she asks as she holds up the bracelet in the air to admire.
"I don't know," he answers grumpily. "She yelled something about a necklace, which I really don't get. I thought she'd like the bracelet."
"Did she hint at wanting a necklace?" she asks as she places the bracelet back into the box.
He shakes his head. "It's as if she expects me to know what she wants and as if I'm supposed to give her a necklace."
He is tired and stressed, that much she could see. She reaches out to him and lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. He doesn't shrug it off. She's been offering him comfort for his roller coaster relationship with Sally for a while now and somehow, somewhere, he grows to accept her comfort.
-ooo-
They are together again and Sally beams at him as she wears her brand new necklace to work. He really doesn't get her. His bank account is definitely empty and he thinks he needs to work for at least half a year for it to recover. He must be a masochist because that's the only reason that would explain why he's willing to go through such suffering.
He looks at the calendar and realizes with a start that it is already August. He grows depressed. It is almost time for their official break-up, but for some reason he doesn't feel as if the Earth is going to end like he thought he would.
She smiles as she finishes cleaning up the store and heads to him for a kiss. He hesitantly returns it. She doesn't realize that something is wrong.
-ooo-
He's not jealous at all, really he isn't. Patrick is sitting with Sally in a booth and is chatting with her during her break. He doesn't hate Patrick, but he doesn't like him either. Probably because Patrick is his girlfriend's ex. As he delivers a customer's order, he steals a glance in their direction and they're laughing.
He's not happy. She never laughs that freely around him and he feels jealous.
Casey sends him a questioning look as he slides into her booth.
"I'm jealous," he admits bluntly.
She is surprised because he never admits to anything. "Of?"
"Patrick." He says the name like it's a disease.
She nods her head in understanding and takes a look at Sally's direction. "But why? They're friends and you're going to break-up soon anyway. Should you really be that attached?"
"She's still my girlfriend," he defends.
"That may be true, but I can't help but wonder…" she trails off and takes a sip of her tea. "Why don't you and Sally try a long-distance relationship?"
He is quiet, not because he's never thought of the idea, but because Sally rejects his suggestion when he last mentions it. He is embarrassed and decides not to tell her as she waits patiently for him to answer. He doesn't.
-ooo-
This is such a Casey thing to do and he is embarrassed as he adds the newest addition to the list. He has a list of all the reasons why they've broken up and he is unhappy that most of them are something he has done, or hasn't done. He doesn't understand why he has to clean the house, cook dinner, help the kids with their homework, and volunteer to do things he doesn't want to do. He is also a bit puzzled about why she thinks he should be interested in art when the only remotely art-like thing he has is a picture of the time he draws over Casey's face with a marker when she's asleep.
He ponders over the list for a few more moments before he shoves it into his desk as quickly as he can when Casey walks into his room to complain about something he doesn't care about.
-ooo-
It is the end of August and Sally needs to pack for her trip. He stands awkwardly in her room as she runs around and shoves things into boxes and suitcases. It is time for their break-up and he dreads it, at least that's what he tells himself.
"I'm so excited," she gushes as she throws more random items into more random boxes. "My first time to the West…"
"Mhmm," he mumbles, so it sounds as if he's listening. He doesn't want to.
"Oh, Patrick mentioned to me the other day that he's also going to UVC. I won't be alone there. How great is that?" she says.
His insides feel cold. Should he feel happy? He doesn't know, so he opts for a flat, "Very."
She doesn't notice his tone and continues packing happily. He mumbles something and then lets himself out of the house.
-ooo-
She's staring at him with a smile as she hugs her carry-on bag closer to her. "Well, this is it!" she says excitedly.
"Yeah," he can't help but answer flatly. He warily eyes Patrick who is standing a few meters away with his own bags as he waits for Sally and his conversation to come to close.
"I know I said that we'd break up before I leave for University, but I've been thinking," she starts out.
He doesn't like the sound of where this is going.
"I really love you Derek and I think we should continue our relationship long-distance," she says with an expectant smile.
His insides feel cold.
-ooo-
"Why so glum, chum?" Casey asks with a small laugh at her joke.
He sends her a wary glance before sinking into his bed.
"Oh," she says softly. "You're still torn up about the break-up. I'm sorry, I should've known… I'll just…" she gestures to the door as she moves to leave.
She's halfway to the door when he says, "She asked for a long-distance relationship."
She turns around and sits on the empty spot on his bed. "Did you say yes?"
He remains quiet as she waits patiently. "No," he says softly after a long silence. He turns to face her and is comforted by the concern she is showing him. He usually wouldn't tell her anything, but since she has been a key player in his on again-off again relation with Sally he ends up telling her anyway, usually when he's at his wits end and can't stand her pestering. "I don't want to be Patrick number two when she has Patrick number one with her."
She remains quiet and lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. Like her relationship with Max, Derek has also become someone he's not. He doesn't like change and he doesn't like how Sally expects him to be like Patrick when he's not.
-ooo-
He fingers the charm bracelet in his hand and sighs in frustration. He realizes that the reason Sally doesn't like his present is because Patrick always buys her a necklace for her birthday. He is supposed to know, but he doesn't because Sally never mentions anything to him. He's not psychic and he's not pleased that he's expected to continue Patrick's tradition.
He stares at the bracelet, lost in thought as Casey enters his room and shoots him a questioning look. He shakes his head and mumbles, "Nothing."
She nods even though she knows that he's just shutting her out. Instead she says, "Dinner's ready." She turns to leave, but before she's out the door, she looks over her shoulder and says softly, "If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me."
He scoffs at her offer, but they both know that he will end up talking to her later.
-ooo-
As he thinks about Sally and why he was interested in her, he frowns. His reasons are short and shallow: pretty, smart, and feisty. He doesn't know when he started looking for depth and character in a girlfriend and quite frankly, he is a bit freaked out. He is also freaked out that those three traits can be used to describe Casey, not that he'd ever admit to her being pretty.
He loves Sally, but he can't accept that he's supposed to live up to standards Patrick set out. He groans in frustration when his brain connects Sally with a more complicated version of Casey. Why does everything always come back to Casey?
-ooo-
He doesn't have a girlfriend for a while and enjoys twelfth grade single. He is a bit surprised that Casey also remains single. He thought for sure that her drama-loving friend, Noel, would date her or even that Truman guy who seemed so intent on chasing her. He shrugs the thought away and relishes the freedom of being himself again. It feels great.
He has a few more girlfriends during college and he feels burdened again. When he dated Kendra in high school, he was supposed to be this clingy guy who calls his girlfriend fluffy names, which he is totally not. When he dates Lisa, he is supposed to be this extreme bad boy, which is not. He's a rebel, yes, but even he has his limits. When he dates Julie, he is supposed to be a poetry loving fanatic, which freaks him out because he can't stand anything remotely poetic. Although when Casey does or says something poetic, it doesn't bother him. Strange… He gives up after Julie and finds that he rather stay single for a while if he wants to be himself.
The only girl he feels like himself around is Casey. It doesn't surprise him because she's seen every side of him there is, what with living with him for years and all. Did he mention that he and Casey are sharing an apartment for University? Guess not.
-ooo-
He is puzzled as to why at age twenty-five both he and Casey are still single, have steady jobs, and are still sharing the same living quarters. He really doesn't get it, but he says nothing. At this point he and Casey are friends, something he still doesn't understand or how it happened. He even develops a crush on her during University, but he still doesn't say anything to her about it after all this time. He's just her stepbrother, nothing more.
Casey closes the front door to their apartment and puts down the box of pizza she grabbed on her way back from work.
"Is there any meat?" is the first thing he asks.
She rolls her eyes at his question and answers exasperatedly, "Yes, there's meat."
He grins and chows down on the pizza. He notices out of the corner of his eye that Casey's wrist is bare of the bracelet she has been wearing for years. "Where's your bracelet?" he asks around a mouthful of pizza.
She takes a quick glance at her wrist and shrugs. "I lost it somewhere at work."
He can tell that although she tries to act casual about it, she is really upset. She really loves the bracelet; it is something Marti made for her back before they went off to University. He is quiet throughout the rest of dinner.
-ooo-
"You're the only guy I feel like myself around," she tells him one night as they're playing Go Fish. He doesn't understand how it happened, but they are sitting in the middle of the living room with a deck of cards.
"And you're the only girl I feel like myself around," he returns as he stares at his cards. "Do you have any twos?"
She grins. "Go fish."
He groans but grabs the card anyway. He secretly hopes that she doesn't catch him stealing glances at her through the top of his cards.
"Do you have any eights?" she asks him as she keeps her eyes on her cards.
This time it's his turn to grin. "Go fish."
She huffs slightly and reaches for the card on top of the deck.
It's been weeks since she lost her bracelet and he wonders if she has had any luck finding it, so he asks.
She sighs sadly and pouts in a way that makes his cheeks heat up. He tries his best to cover his face with his cards while he continues to steal glances at her over the edge of his cards.
-ooo-
He finishes placing in the last charm in the charm bracelet he bought for Sally years ago. The bracelet is now gleaming with bright new charms that he bought earlier that day. He doesn't know whether to give it not and bites on his lower lip thoughtfully before he decides to wrap it up.
He writes a small note and confesses his feelings in a small childish 'I like you' and decides that if things go bad, he can call it a prank. He still pranks her regularly so it is not too obvious and he smiles softly to himself as he sets the gift wrapped box on her desk. He just hopes that she doesn't freak out when she finds it.
-ooo-
He doesn't remember ever being this nervous as he paces the living room floor when Casey enters her room. He expects a laugh or a scoff and is fully prepared for his heartbreak if she doesn't feel the same.
She walks out of her room a little while later, clutching the note and bracelet in her hand. "What's this?" she asks with a shaky voice. "Is it the same one you bought Sally?"
He scratches the back of his head sheepishly and says in a small voice he doesn't remember ever using, "Uh, yeah… but…" He doesn't know why he started stuttering and he hopes that he can get out enough words for her to understand him. "When I first bought the bracelet, I instantly thought of you. I was tempted to give it to you but because we still didn't like each other at the time… I decided to give it to Sally for her birthday instead… but she didn't want it."
Her face softens at his last comment.
He's sure his face is red, but he continues explaining. "I kept it because it reminds me of you and since we're friends now and you're who I was going to give it to originally… and uh… the little princess crown symbolizes how I always call you princess. And…um… yeah…" It is the lamest ending to a sentence he has ever used, but he doesn't care at that moment. He keeps his eyes trained on his shoes.
The next thing he knows, he is pulled into a hug. "I love it, Derek," she says softly as she puts it on her wrist, even if it feels a bit awkward that she is receiving a present that he originally tried to give his ex-girlfriend. She brushes the feeling aside because his thoughts were all about her when he first bought the bracelet and it's the thought that counts, right? She laughs softly at the small custom 'Casey' next to the princess crown and the letters G, N, C, L, D, E, and M for each member of their blended family.
He is afraid to ask her about the note, especially if she doesn't feel the same, so he doesn't.
"You know, Derek, if you liked me all you had to do was ask me out," she says with a laugh, as if she has read his mind. "I like you too. After all, you're the only guy I can be myself around and I like being myself a lot."
He is surprised at her response and smiles in glee. He picks her up and spins her around as they both laugh with happiness. "You're the only girl I can be myself around and I like being myself too," he says with a smile.
A/N: It seems as if every time I have an idea and start it out as a small drabble, it ends up becoming a one-shot. Sigh. Well, I don't know if this has been done before, but it's my little take on why Sally is always starting a fight with Derek. I hope you have enjoyed this story, and review! Gimme your thoughts! C: