Ten things Draco Malfoy told Hermione Granger. That are absolutely true.
1. I caught Potter stealing my underwear so he could pretend to be me.
2. I have never cheated off you in any class.
3. Pansy Parkinson and I have never had sex more than once.
4. Snape and McGonagall sleep together in the Astronomy tower.
5. You should wear those jeans every day.
6. Ron Weasley is gay and in love with me.
7. Your skirt is too long.
8. I have never bleached my owl's hair so that it would look like me.
9. I'm not in love with myself.
10. Because I'm in love with you.