Author's note: I've researched sin kids enough to know basic things about them. I also know how much I heavily dislike them. That said, I made my own sin kid while screwing around. This is entirely a one and done disaster, inspired by knowing, creating but with absurd intentions. There are far too many jokes in this, a good amount of which only pertain to me seeing how I based some characters off people I've encountered on discord. Still, they are some normal references thrown about here and there, if you catch 'em then kudos to you. Also, a good amount of this deals with stuff I've written before as a means of firing shots at myself in a way. It's quite a mess, but don't overthink it by any means. Originally posted on my pastebin on 8/17/18.
Name: Blind Loud
Age: 14
Bio: He's the son of Lincoln and Lori. Due to surgical complications, he was born out of his mother's ass. He's also blind and remains bitter about it throughout his life. Granted, his other senses are much stronger. Legend says he even possesses a sixth sense. Fuck! As of now, he currently lives with his dad, mom, his aunts and all of his siblings. It's the Loud House, bitch.
Personality: Nervous, curious, grumpy, wasame and fucking blind. (And a bit of a momma's boy.)
Clothing: He's bald, wears an olive green t-shirt, blue jeans, black shoes and sunglasses. Occasionally, he'll put on a fedora for the sake of fashion. In rare cases, he also likes to wear jnco jeans.
Likes: Respecting bass players, soda, pissing, farting, musical slams, overcoming obstacles, video games, and his parents.
Dislikes: Not being able to fucking see, big meanie faggots, lame-o's, furries, people who like things he doesn't.
Voice: Bobcat Goldthwait
Catchphrase: "Aaaah! I can't fucking see!" or "Aaaah! I can't see, faggot!"
Blind wasn't the average Loud kid. He's the 14 year old son of Lincoln and Lori, having been born out of the latter's asshole as opposed to pussy due to surgical complications.
...And he's blind. Being sightless makes every day life a bit more difficult and interesting. He'll bump into walls, talk to his family, hear their voices, yet see no faces. He can sense things, but never truly visualize anything except the black. Not the people, or their crime habits, just the color itself. Although, if he were to describe how that feels, he'd say... "It suuuucks!"
So, being himself was no easy task. It's almost as if he's cursed from birth. Despite his limitations, he had to do his best to deal with life. Days for him were often predictable, consisting of wackiness all around.
Blind woke up.
Taking things slow, he got on his feet, sensing things around him while stumbling towards his closet.
He opened it and as always, his olive green shirts were hung up courtesy of his mother.
Blind still remembered when he first got them.
After being dragged to the mall, his aunt Leni said. "This color will totes bring out your eyes."
And how he responded... "I wish it would so I can fucking see something!" He had that constant bitter attitude infecting him. It was unavoidable. Nonetheless, he couldn't help but wonder what the hell a color is.
From there on, Blind got on some fresh undies and jeans, then headed on out along with his guide dog, Cohen.
They journeyed through the hall for breakfast.
On the way, the boy could hear everyone being as active as ever. Mostly his dad, who sounded like he was struggling, straining over something.
"Ur-urgggh!"
"Yeah, plug me into that electrical socket, mate~" Luna moaned in her raspy, grating voice.
"Aaaahh! I can't fucking see!" Blind shouted randomly, nearly causing Luna's bulb to shatter.
"Chill out!" She yelled.
"Sorry." Blind apologized while he glanced at his feet.
He looked around so confused. What the hell are they doing?
"Relax, Luna." Lincoln said calmly.
The man zipped up his pants and crept through the doorway, resting his arm on the wall. He acted all cool and casual, basically wearing a mask.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Yeah, my bad!" Blind blurted. Every morning he had that vocal realization to get off his chest. It was like a tick.
"No worries. Your Mom's cookin' breakfast for you right now, go on and eat. I'll meet you down there in a few minutes." Lincoln assured.
Doing as he told, Blind made his way to the kitchen for breakfast.
Right before he got there, Cohen started acting a little weird.
A certain smell caught his attention, so he barked like Brian Griffin and ran the opposite direction.
"Boy?" Blind asked, growing concerned. What was that all about? Where did he go?
He couldn't dwell on it, though. He wouldn't be gone forever, but this made things a bit more tricky.
Intent on getting to the kitchen, he went about his way very cautiously.
Blind made it there without falling or bumping into anything, much to his relief. Cohen being gone sure as hell didn't do him any favors. However, if he could keep this up, he wouldn't even need him.
"Hey, sweetie!" Lori greeted, walking up and hugging her boy. "Sleep well?"
"Yeah, fuck." Blind replied.
"Good. Now, give mommy a kiss~" She smiled widely.
The boy puckered his lips and edged them forward slowly.
"That's my chin, honey." Lori said. "Like this..."
She gave him a kiss on the lips.
"Mwaah, faggot!"
It was strange. Every damn time lips, or kissing were mentioned he always thought about his birthdays. How he'd try to blow out the candles and miss miserably. He recalled last year, where Lori stepped in and did the honors herself... but with her ass. Lisa wasn't around to tell them the dangers of doing so, the end result was a fire that caught loose. Bobby Jr.'s face and Lemy's hair enflamed. Everyone except the birthday boy went apeshit and tried to put them out by rolling them on the tile. When that didn't work, they all pissed on the two boys until the flames dissipated. One of them recovered from it, but the other ended up receiving permanent damage.
Then Liena appeared in the kitchen.
"Hello, breakfast~" It was the most important meal of the day! ...And her personal favorite because she's really fucking fat.
When Lynn arrived, she decided to sit right next to Lincoln. Wow, Lynncoln confirmed.
One by one, most of the them showed up.
Once the majority of the big dysfunctional family were seated, they got ready to feast!
Lori dumped out a massive amount of scrambled eggs onto each plate. She made them extra special. Her secret recipes seemed to do wonders for them, especially Blind. Sight doesn't matter when it comes to food, it's the goddamn wonderful taste that does.
As the family dug in, some of the kids already began horsing around. The usual suspects that is.
"Think fast!" Lacy launched her baseball straight at Blind, showing no signs of giving a shit about what happens.
"Aaaah!" He caught it with his face.
"No goddamn balls at the table, Lacy!" Lincoln shouted.
"Come on, even a baby could have caught that!" She exclaimed.
"He never even saw it coming." He muttered angrily.
"She's right, y'know." Lynn spoke up.
"One, we're having breakfast. Two, the boy can't see a damn thing." Lincoln countered, annoyed with their insensitivity.
"Whatever, you dumb pathetic Lincolnfag." She scoffed while nudging his shoulder roughly, hoping to provoke him further.
"Don't call me that." The man had to contain himself. He knew she was one to push his buttons. Regardless, he'll probably just fuck her little brain out later.
Blind sank down in his chair, feeling slight pain and uneasiness from all that.
Lori comforted him, affectionately rubbing his back.
"You okay?" She asked.
Blind confirmed with a nod.
"Aw, shiet. It's way too early for fighting to happen." He thought nervously.
Lyra slammed her bible on the table to put a stop to things.
Everyone stared at her like she's crazy. Maybe she is?
The girl then ignored everyone while she read silently, getting a bite of food here and there as she did so.
Seeing that, Lupa pulled out her ipod and headphones, looking to drown out her lame family. Should have done to it sooner, but she got caught up pouring ketchup on her scrambled eggs and pretending it was blood.
"No ipods at the table, Lupa." Lucy said dully.
The edgy goth sat there with a bitchy look on her face and spat. "I'm listening to the new Death Gwips album, shut the fuck up Mom, you tranny ass faggot."
"Hey!" Lincoln raised his voice. "Don't disrespect your mother like that."
"What are you gonna do about it, biiitch?"
"I'm gonna take away your allowance if you keep that up. No more hot topic for you, young lady." Lincoln stated firmly, putting his damn foot down.
Lupa backed off. Realizing that this is no fucking fairytale, it's real life and not being able to shop there would destroy her spirit.
"Sorry, Mom..." She apologized.
Lucy smiled for the first time in months. Seriously, it's been a really long period.
Throughout the chaos, Liena literally ate her entire plate, then pulled out some paper and pencils to draw. She loved drawing in the morning the most.
With her fatass belly full of food, her focus is in high gear. Time to step her art game up.
Leni looked over at her.
"What are you drawing, sweetie?" She asked.
"It's supposed to be Optimus Prime."
Liena took a few moments to line the drawing up a bit.
She then presented it to her mother.
Leni observed the amazingly detailed super hero character. Wow, she only managed to draw it in a matter of seconds.
"That looks totes amazing!" She said joyfully.
"Pfft, I can draw it better." Leia insisted.
She snagged some paper and a pencil right from Liena.
Taking a few seconds, she scribbled like a maniac until completing her supposed masterpiece.
"See!" She said, grinning.
"Ummm, that's good... very good, honey." Lincoln choked out. He didn't want to face the shitstorm of telling that ensues when she gets criticized. He did know who really drew it better. Everyone aside from the little girl herself did.
Leia stared at her mom and asked. "What do you think, Mommy?"
Lola squinted at the drawing.
"That's fine, sweetheart. But I'd worry more about your pageants than art. That stuff's for degenerates." She answered.
"Told you." Leia stuck her tongue out at Liena who then rolled her eyes.
Lincoln sighed, hoping things would lighten up.
No such luck.
Just when everything seemed to chill a bit, Lemy pulled out his vape. "I'm so cool, faggot."
Lincoln grabbed it from him on the spot. "Not at the damn table. Go outside if you're gonna use that crap."
"Fine!" Lemy cried, snagging it out of his hand and stomping out back. It's better than breakfast in his mind.
Willing to take advantage of the lone time, he took a few selfie vapes, guaranteeing himself some hits on his swiftypic page.
As the moments passed and tensions thankfully died, the family concluded breakfast. Not the best they've had, seeing how so many bloody arguments happened. But it can always get worse.
Lincoln and some of the his sisters retreated to their rooms afterwards.
Then as the other siblings went elsewhere, Blind cleaned his plate last.
"All done, fuck!" He said victoriously.
"I got that, honey." Lori patted her son's back, then grabbed his plate and washed it alongside the other dishes.
She occasionally hummed and farted while doing so. She didn't even care that Leni was right there helping her clean up. Then again, having lived with her big sister forever she was totes use to her stinky ass.
Not too long after breakfast, the children met in the living room to watch Lemy play some Geedtar Hero. It's his favorite game of all time. He's also the best at it. Any family member who dare played him always ended up losing. Yeah, so he's really good at the game. Shiet.
After taking time to brush his teeth, it felt like years until Blind found where his siblings went. Getting anywhere was a chore enough, but now someone else waited for him.
He was... her prey.
Following the kick of an ottoman, the boy tripped and landed on his face. "Ahhh!"
"Got you!" Leia cheered maniacally. Lola with pigtails is a bitch.
"Urgh..." Blind groaned. He would think that all of his siblings would have least have dignity of some sort. Picking on a blind person is the lamest thing you can do. That's like making fun of a fat person for exercising.
And then, he sensed an ultrahand hovering in front of him.
"Let's get you up, Blind." Liena said, smiling. "Try to forget about Leia, she's just a big meanie faggot."
"You can say that again." The boy laughed while taking her hand, feeling the folds of her fat fingers overwhelming his knuckles.
"Hey! I heard that!" Lola with pigtails screamed.
"Give it a rest already." Lupa scoffed, flicking her cigarette ashes at her.
"Quit it!" The little girl screamed.
"Pssh, nothin' personnel, kid." Lupa said.
Leia rolled her eyes. "You dumb bitch."
Bored, annoyed, and eager to keep being unpleasant, the girl left the living room.
While walking upstairs, she looked out for their pet cat.
"Oh, Rag~ It's time for your golden shower!" She yelled vehemently.
Her search ended up fairly short as she found him shaking near Lana's door. His frantic clawing on the door got totally ignored.
"There you are!" The pint sized devil snatched him up in her arms and headed to her mom's room.
She knocked roughly when she got there.
"Mommy! Rag's ready for his special bath." She announced.
Lola opened the door to find her clone with pigtails smiling at her, and the cat looking in fear of his life.
She smirked, taking her daughter's hand as they went to the bathroom.
After being shoved into a cage, evil faces glared down at the helpless kitty.
Lower lips hovered above him and hot piss flowed out, drenching his orange fur.
"Mrrreewwooow!" He screamed while the seemingly endless fountains of urine nearly drowned him.
Following emptying their bladders, the mom and daughter team released him, watching him scurry out into the hallway as piss dripped off of him. If he ever gets an opportunity go outside, he's never coming back in that house ever again. He'd rather be roadkill than pissed on every damn day.
Back in the living room, the game is about to begin!
After choosing Blind as his opponent, Lemy stared at Lupa smugly and asked. "What do I get if I win?"
The edgy girl blew smoke in his face and said. "You get da Lupa lewds."
A sb99 grin appeared through the haze.
"Yaaaay, fuuuuck!" The boy couldn't wait! He wanted to laugh. Blind is so sightless, literally! How's he gonna lose to a chump like that?
"Guessing you forgot how much I dislike people smiling?" Lupa hissed, pinching his cheek.
"Shiet." Lemy responded, feeling so lame. If he keeps that up, he won't be getting any of her lewds anytime soon. Which is nothing but a damn shame.
Redirecting his attention to the game, he grabbed his guitar and got ready.
He looked towards Blind, who was fumbling with the strap and screaming randomly. It hasn't started and it's probably already over. Or is it?
"What song did you choose, sis?" Lemy asked.
"I picked Morbid Angel's Radikult." Lupa responded. Even though she wasn't cool with him being happy, cause it's fuckin' lame, she knew how much he loved that song. Once again, Blind stood absolutely no damn chance.
"Nice..." The young rocker nodded.
Lacy spoke up. "Alright, you lame-o's ready?"
Lemy smiled as Blind remained so lost.
"Hell yeah..." He mumbled.
"GO!" Lacy shouted.
The game started in a flash.
The track jammed on as both boys played their hearts out.
Their audience soon became overwhelmed by the intensity of the showdown.
Loan began shaking in her seat. "I'm s-so n-nervous."
Then she accidentally farted so fucking hard she nearly hydroplaned off the couch.
"AJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!" Lemy howled like a mexican for some reason while moving his fingers speedily. Playing sloppy, but still good enough to beat his opponent. He's gonna win! He HAS this in the bag!
Blind took his time trying to sense what's on the tv screen front of him. The boy's heard Luna often talk about 'feeling the music,' that's the game plan here. He wasn't going down without a fight. Being him is a war in itself.
"I'm a tryhard, faggot." Lemy gloated.
Blind could smell the pepsi on the boy's breath. Despicable as ever.
He did his best to avoid vomiting by shifting his focus back on the game. He's gonna do it!
"WASAME!" Leda cheered gleefully.
Hiiiiiissss, boooooo." Lupa jeered. "You suck, Blind, you scammer ass faggot."
Her little tactics didn't seem to be working on him. He knew she was better off ignoring, fuck what she thinks. He literally had everyone else rooting him on, encouraging him.
"Aaaaah!" The boy shouted.
The song was reaching the end and the score came incredibly close.
Everyone became fixated on the bright screen, except for Blind of course.
Finally, the seven minutes of death metal mediocrity came to an end.
Faces squinted, jaws dropped, and asses farted upon seeing the score.
"Are you kidding me? That's fucking bogus!" Lemy yelled.
Liena clapped happily. "Nice job, Blind!" She was in disbelief that the underdog actually won!
"TOUCHDOWN!" Lacy screamed at the top of her goddamn lungs.
Lyra sat speechless.
"There's some potential to him..." She pondered.
"Ugh, I need a drink." Lemy said in a bitchy tone.
He went to the kitchen to grab a pepsi.
What awaited him was his mother, sitting at the table looking over some lyrics she wrote down. "Chill, light on my sight as my ego becomes..."
Luna stared up at the boy, seeing him opening the fridge.
"Hey, little dude, no more pepsi today. You've been drinking way too much of that crap." She said dryly.
"I just want ONE." He responded, getting defensive.
"You've already had three today. The answer is nah, brah." Luna replied firmly.
Lemy growled, showing his teeth like a wild animal. "Fuck you, Mom. You're a stupid fucking boomer."
He gave her both middle fingers.
"I am NOT a boomer." She said, right before taking a sip of her monster energy drink. The AC/DC shirt she wore also disproved that statement.
Lemy scoffed.
"My life is a bunch of bullshit." He thought, fuming.
Trying to shrug that off, he walked into the living room with all the others, contemplating punching a wall on the way there.
"What's wrong?" Lupa asked, noticing the frustration painted on his angsty face.
"Mom's being a fucking bitch to me!" Lemy ranted.
Lupa got sassy. "Pfft, when isn't she one?"
"All I wanted was a pepsi. Just one pepsi. And she wouldn't give it to me!" Lemy complained, stomping his foot. He was seething, about as mad as Spider gets when someone mentions OCs.
Angry and wanting to get away, the boy grabbed his rogue's jacket. "Let's get out of here, Lupa. This place is bogus."
Thinking likewise, the girl followed behind him. "Let's go do stuff that law abiding adults would frown upon."
"Yeah, let's break some rules!" Lemy said excitedly.
Both of the kids proceeded to go to a nearby Arby's.
They ate a fuck ton of sandwiches, and took advantage of pepsi refills until they were eventually kicked out by a manager. Once again, they don't play by the rules. Only lame-o's do that.
Even then, these two wouldn't let up.
Lemy went into the dumpster out back like a trashkid and grabbed some empty beer bottles.
He walked towards the front window of the store, staring inside as he clanked the glass bottles together with his fingers.
"Maaanaaageerrsss, commee out to plaaaayaaaaaay!"
This went on for five damn minutes until the cops came.
They escorted Lemy and Lupa home, putting a brief end to their reign of terror. Those kids were just bloody troublemakers!
Hours following that glorious victory, Lyra continued thinking of that boy, remembering how he went in handicapped and defeated Lemy without breaking a sweat.
With an idea in mind, the girl guided Blind to her room, there was something she REALLY wanted to talk about. Unf.
"You finally beat Lemy in Geedtar Hero, I'm impressed." She said, smirking.
"It wasn't too hard. All I had to do was focus, fuck!" Blind assured pridefully.
"Focusing is important..." Lyra replied as she got closer to him.
Her presence was making the boy iffy uhhh, he tilted his head down to make sure he didn't have a stiffy uhhh.
"Y-yeah..." Blind uttered in a daze.
"You know what else is important? Christianity." Lyra spoke pretty sternly. "Tell me, do you believe in God?"
The boy could feel himself tense up. Somehow, saying no seems like the biggest mistake he could make. Although, he was no liar.
"I'd have to see him to believe in him, but I can't fucking see!" He responded, sticking to his own morals.
Amazingly enough, Lyra cracked a smile. There's still time. She can show him the path to holiness... minus the l in her case.
"I've actually spoken to God numerous times. Him and I have had very meaningful conversations."
"About what?" He asked.
"We've discussed your future, Blind." Lyra said, moving even closer, looking to violate his personal space.
"He knows..."
"What about it? What's gonna happen?" He questioned anxiously. Since when the hell is God a fortune teller?
"It's going to get... very, very hot." She answered, biting her lip. If only could see the look in her her eyes in this moment. Shiet.
"Well, it is summer..." Blind said, growing a bit uneasy.
"You know what else God told me?" Lyra asked.
The boy shook his head.
"That he wants you to give me your seed. Do you know what that means?"
"I have no idea..." Blind uttered as he backed away from her nervously, only to bump into the wall.
The religious girl had him cornered. Time to strike!
"Relax." She said with the drop of a bra strap. "This won't take too long."
Lyra grabbed Blind by the shoulders, dragging him away from the wall to her chair.
She sat the boy down, allowing herself to mount him.
She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into her tig ol' bitties.
Quickly realizing she was going about it the wrong way, Lyra stood up.
While the perplexed boy remained seated, she stripped off the clothes below her waist and aired her stinky pussy out.
"You hungry?" She asked. As far as she knew, he didn't have lunch, and God never told her eating out was forbidden.
The boy could smell her well. The scent of fresh meat trampled through his nostrils.
"Sorry, Lyra, I don't really like roast beef."
She sighed.
He just doesn't get it. But he sure as hell needed to learn for her sake.
Literally out of nowhere, Lori opened the door, walking in on the affair taking place.
She got pretty fucking mad, to the point of smoke coming out of her ears.
Clenching her teeth, she gestured to the girl to get her clothes back on.
"Come here, Blind." Lori spoke in a vexed tone.
Hearing her voice, the kid walked towards her.
She said nothing more as she sent him down the hall, hoping he'd find the kitchen on his own by following the smell of her delicious cooking.
Lori faced the girl and whispered. "Don't you ever try that shit again."
"Heathen..." Lyra hissed while getting dressed.
"Whatever, you little whore." Lori scoffed. The young girl before her is merely a false, 'pure' version of Luna. Not worth the time, or trouble to be messing with at all.
Time for dinner.
Using an old recipe her dad had, Lori made spaghetti and meatballs, but added her own unique touch. It was magic that turned the sauce from red to brown... and made it a hell of a lot more delicious.
With everyone somehow seated at the table, Lincoln noticed three girls were missing this time.
"Where's Lana, Lisa and Lupe?" He questioned. It wasn't like them to miss dinner.
"I haven't seen Lana all morning. Lisa and Lupe have been watching Rick and Morty since after breakfast. She wants her kid to grow up really smart." Lori said.
Lincoln rubbed his eyes. "Whatever, let's just put any leftovers in the fridge for them so they can eat later."
But with Liena around, having any food left might not be possible.
Everyone started eating.
Lynn crammed a few meatballs in her mouth and hummed. She loved balls. Putting them inside her was something she became pretty talented at over the years. Whether made of rubber, or flesh. These were quite good, but lacked the sweaty flavor she was often use to!
During enjoying her meal, she saw Lacy pulling her arm back. She had her target set.
"Hi-yah!" She threw a frisbee at Liby.
While not exactly being athletic, her reflexes shot up as she caught the damn thing in her mouth like a dog.
Liby's giant beaver teeth dug into it, snapping it in half.
"Hey!" Lacy whined. That certainly didn't go as planned. She generally got off on seeing chumps getting whacked in the face!
"That's what happens when you bring your crap at the table. I told you to stop doing that." Lincoln said, feeling every bit annoyed. Karma's a bitch, and a less annoying version of Luan.
"Shit like that happens because she doesn't fucking respect bass players." Leda mentioned, staring angrily at Lacy who didn't seem to care about her two cents.
Lynn pinched her daughter's shoulder. "I'll buy you a new frisbee tomorrow, you damn geed. Just ignore these losers and eat your food."
Lacy obeyed. That disappointment led her to keeping her fat mouth shut from there on. However, a beast was growing deep inside her, and basically dying to be let out. One of athleticism and communism.
Lola then sucked her noodles up, bobbing her head lewdly while giving Lincoln bedroom eyes.
"Tonight, you..." She pondered, imagining the taste of his cock.
Lincoln almost chuckled. It's no shocker, he had a damn schedule for a reason.
He smiled at her, only to have the moment cut short.
Being a total badass, Lupa pretended the sauce was a line of cocaine and snorted it up. She didn't give a shit about what anyone else thinks.
"Please don't do that." Lucy pleaded.
"Fuck off, Mom." Lupa hissed while glancing at her nine inch fingernails.
"Sigh..." Lucy mumbled in defeat. She couldn't control her edgy daughter well.
"Don't talk like that to your mother." Lincoln said firmly, frowning at the ornery girl. "Remember what I told you at breakfast? I wasn't kidding."
Hearing his input, she backed down again.
Feeling passive aggressive as ever, Lupa side eyed him then dug into her food. Still, perhaps there was something else she could do.
Presently, Blind slurped his noodles up, showing great appreciation of his mom's cooking. He loved her food, even if he couldn't actually see it, or see how it was made.
Lori gazed at him happily until someone tugged her shirt.
"Mom, d-do you got any xanax left?" Loan asked anxiously. She wanted, needed those pills.
"Ugh..." Lori groaned. "You literally take too damn many of those a day."
"No, I don't!" Loan cried.
Lori frowned.
"The answer is no. You know your limit, you're gonna have to wait until tomorrow." She said.
"Fuck!" Loan shouted. She needed the xanax in her by the hour. Addiction is a hell of a drug. Seriously, she had a mumble rap mixtape on the line here!
Feeling somewhat more feisty and looking to annoy her mom again, Lupa got up, sauntering towards her dad.
Without his say, she sat on his lap.
Lupa even rocked her hips a little to try and get a reaction out of him. Daddy wouldn't punish her for being bitchy if his dick is hard.
Her plan failed as neither of her parents seem to even care. Lucy placed her trust in Lincoln, being faithful he wouldn't do anything foolish like screwing their daughter on the damn dinner table.
He remained unmoved by the seduction attempt, showing no interest in the Lupa lewds even though she tried her best to turn him on.
Although, she managed to piss someone else off.
Lemy glared angrily at the both of them.
"Grrr, Lincoln stole my girlfriend." He growled.
Luna nudged his shoulder and spoke. "Lighten up."
"That's all you ever do." Lemy replied, feeling his angst build up again.
His rebellion soon reared its ugly, over designed head as he picked at his food while maintaining his shitty mood.
"I wanted Arby's for dinner, fuuuuck!" He whined like a brat.
Luna sighed. "You and Lupa had Arby's earlier, I can smell it on both of you. We all can, dude."
Acting as a bitch would, Lemy pushed his food away and crossed his arms.
"You're not gonna eat?"
Lemy shook his head. "Nuh-uh, faggot."
Lyra intervened. "Lemy, do you remember one of the great commandments? Honor thy boomer of a mother."
The boy looked at his sister's genuine smile. She's a nutjob, but he couldn't bring himself to disappoint her.
"Fine, I'll eat, but only if Mom chews my food for me." He stated.
Luna facepalmed. She wanted to yell at him for being so gross. Yet, she felt it might make things worse.
"Alright..." She muttered in embarrassment. She didn't have much pride left anyways.
The majority of them seemed appalled as the woman picked her fork up in preparation.
"Yeah, Luna, fork it over!" Luan laughed. But nobody else did.
Ignoring her sister, Luna stabbed her fork into a stack of spaghetti noodles, twirling them around.
She shoved it in her mouth and chewed, even hummed slightly to try to make this seem okay.
After a few hard chomps, she spit it out all over Lemy's plate.
"There you go." She said, feeling the utmost disgust with what she just did.
"Yaaay!" The boy cheered, then kept his mouth busy as he dove in head first, swallowing the saliva coated noodles.
Leni, Lola and Leia bailed instantly. Their appetites were shot instantly. That is so fucking gross.
The others glared down, focusing on eating their food normally and hopefully forgetting that.
Once again, Blind was completely lost. "What just happened?"
"Don't ask." Lincoln said, feeling that's not something his son needs to know.
Liena's appetite remained strong despite seeing that.
She finished her food, having scarfed it up along with the tablecloth.
"May I be excused?" She asked politely.
Lori nodded.
Liena's fatass walked out of the kitchen and went into the living room.
The couch caved in as she took her seat, her weight descending all down, nearly breaking it.
While Liena remained in there, more of the other kids finished up eating and followed her steps.
As usual, Blind was the last to finish. Mostly because he had trouble figuring out if he cleaned his plate or not.
When he began to leave, he felt a hand touch him.
"Did you like dinner?" Lori asked softly.
"Yeah, it was really fucking good, Mom. Goddamn it." He responded with a messy face.
Lori smirked while using her thumb to wipe the sauce off his lips.
As the boy left, she stashed the leftovers away, then helped Lucy clean up.
Lincoln returned upstairs to go rest. He needed to relax and prepare for what's coming tonight.
Afterwards, the kids gathered in the living room to watch a movie.
Through some slight debating over Saving Private Doogal or Peter Rabbit vs. Superman, they ended up picking the latter. Mainly because war movies weren't exactly favorites. Especially not after the nasty fight that happened when Lacy witnessed Lyra watching a Vietnam documentary. Not only viewing, but admiring it as well. Like a sick bastard that actually loves her country.
As the movie played, every kid glued their eyes on the tv, viewing the totally rad cape filled action taking place.
During its airing, an intense scene occurred.
Leda was on the edge of her seat, zoning in on the upcoming action.
She became fixated on it, having adored it very much. It was so good! Better than wasame.
Soon all the other siblings did likewise.
Except for Blind who stared out the window. "Where's the fucking tv at!?"
"Ay, mate, do ya fockin' bleed?" Peter Rabbit asked.
Superman glared at him with a lack of interest before flying up high in the sky.
"You will..." Peter Rabbit said in an almost demonic voice.
Right before the next part happened, Lacy interrupted by snagging the controller and shutting off the tv.
"This movie's weak. Almost makes me wanna drink bleach and antifreeze!" She shouted, failing to manage the volume of her fucking voice.
Leda stood up and confronted her. "Maybe you should do that. You piece of shit ass pussy."
"Ooooooh!" Some of the kids said. If they were black, they'd probably be shouting worldstar instead.
"What did you say, biiitch?"
Lacy got up from the couch and got into her sister's face. If she wants to go, they can right here and now. Settle this shit, faggot.
Right before they mauled each other to all hell, Liena stepped up.
"You two need to learn to be nice to each other." She said, holding them back assertively.
"You're so dumb! I bet you don't even know how many jews died in the Holocaust." Lacy uttered smugly. Oh, yeah, the girl's a natural at sports, but she was also a self certified historian. In other words, not a one trick pony like her mother.
"Hitler killed eleven million jews, you dumb bitch." Leda retorted, gritting her teeth. She fucking hated that man. He would probably talk shit about Peter Rabbit vs. Superman if he were alive. That's how much of a horrible human being he truly was. Not the fact that he murdered a bunch of people.
"That's wrong, you idiot. It was actually six million." Lacy stated, smiling and giving her sister the middle finger.
Leda snapped, foaming at the mouth.
"Fucking strawmanning asshole!" She screamed.
Meanwhile, most of the other kids jaws dropped.
Except Liby, she surprisingly remained calm and decided to do some actual research on the subject. She went with her most reliable source, bloody wikipedia of all damn things.
As the chaos unfolded, the young girl read an entire article out loud about the concentration camps. She wanted everyone to hear it, to hear her. This shit was no laughing matter, even she knew that.
Blind grew pretty anxious, and horribly confused.
"Is this part of the movie?" He questioned innocently.
Leda and Lacy got distracted by her on the spot.
The others seemed to ignore her and focused rather on preventing a death taking place.
"You're both wrong, he killed under six million jews." Liby spoke confidently.
"Ugh. Shut up!" The young athlete yelled.
She regained her focus, staring down at Leda.
Liena maintained her position, being a real pro at holding these two wild kids back.
While struggling to get through, Lacy remembered an important fact.
"Hitler's still alive. They never found his body." She mentioned with high confidence. She's obviously really smart to believe that.
Leda tried her hardest to push forward and maul her.
"You fucking walking shit pussy factory!" She bellowed.
"I love communism, faggot!" Lacy yelled.
Despite her having training in football, even she couldn't push her big ass sister back.
Leda almost got sucked into a fold of fat. She wasn't nearly as tough as her opponent.
Through facing foaming mouths, Liena stood confident, yet sad. She always hated the tension in her home on a daily basis. Why couldn't they all just get along? Why were some of them a bunch of big meanie faggots? These were questions that would go unanswered for her. With these multiple personalities clashing under one roof, there's no escaping conflict.
Then the ring of a phone distracted everyone.
"It's my boo boo bear!" Loan cried. Also known as Bobby Jr. Like mother like daughter.
She answered the call to hear him get the first words in.
"Ahhh! My face is burnt!" The boy screamed.
Loan got off the couch and paraded around the battlefield.
She talked endlessly to Bobby Jr. about how she's an epic gamer, and how warm he makes her feel inside.
There was a certain form of heat within her, seeking to make its escape.
Farts suddenly slipped out of Loan's ass at an alarming rate up until she eventually crapped herself, leaving a splorch of brown stained on the back of her sweatpants.
While Liena maintained guard duty, she and the others scored a sniff of the lingering smell. Yeah, that's definitely some shit. It's what Lana usually smelt like.
All the kid's faces turned a sour green before holding their noses to drown out that stench.
Loan ignored them as she returned to her room. They were only distractions to her during calls anyways as opposed to the mess she made in her sweat pants. Then again, that's the least of her worries when her precious boo boo bear is on the phone. In other words, she just didn't give a shit about it.
When she was finally gone, sides got obliterated as everyone laughed to an extreme extent.
They almost couldn't stop looking over where the girl went.
It took minutes for them to calm the hell down.
When they did, Lacy looked over at Leda and asked. "Why were we fighting again?"
"I don't remember. Was it about DCEU?" She questioned unknowingly.
"Oh, fuck." The rest of the gang thought. Not this. Anything... but this.
That keyword managed to send everyone out of the room. Even Blind stumbled out in a hurry, he didn't want to get involved into another shitstorm. Even if the fumes of shit killed that storm, a DCEU discussion would only lead to an even bigger one.
"Guys?" She said in confusion.
Leda gazed around awkwardly.
"Shiet."
More time passed as Blind kept on wandering around.
"Maybe I should see what Leda's doing..." The boy pondered.
Keeping that in mind, he did exactly just that.
The vision deprived kid waddled into the hall, moving until he found her room. His nose helped him greatly when searching for things or people. Especially her, she smelled like expired wasame and a sweaty nutsack.
Blind pushed her door open and spoke. "Leda?"
"Ahhh!" She screamed in horror.
"Wh-what's wrong?" Blind asked in fear.
He shook a little, having forgotten how intense Leda's voice was. He should have covered his damn ears.
She is really fucking loud. Her voice is the equivalent of a smoke alarm that needed its batteries replaced.
"N-nothing." The girl said with a jolt, picking her undies up and wiping the grool off her fingers.
Leda shoved her fapping material back into her dresser, then faced the boy.
"Sup, bro." She greeted, trying to contain herself.
"Ehh, nothin' much." Blind answered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. He didn't remember what he wanted to say to her now that he's here. Her shout completely messed up his train of thought.
Thinking briefly, something else hit him. Having remembered what happened before dinner, he decided to mention it. "Lyra's been acting weird..."
"She's always like that. Her personality and the way she preaches is just a shit recipe." Leda said.
Blind laughed. He couldn't help but acknowledge that she's actually right for once.
A brief silence rolled by as Leda became lost in her own mind.
Then a particular question came up. One that needed to be avoided at all costs. "So, do you like DCEU?"
"Aw, shiet. Not this again." The boy muttered.
"Because I love it..." Leda's voice trailed off.
"Even more than aunt Lola's thicc fucking ass..." She licked her lips, failing to pay attention to what she just spoke.
"Hmm, you know what, it's getting pretty late. I think I'm gonna go check what's up with Dad then sleep. See you later, Leda." Blind said.
"Later, dude." The girl responded casually.
Blind walked out of that hellhole at the speed of light, not caring if he ran into anything on his way out. He needed to escape that danger zone.
"Whew." Leda sighed. "That was too close."
She locked her door afterwards, then opened her drawer up again.
"I wasn't done with you just yet..."
Dragging her pants down, she popped a squat and kicked her fapping back up. She couldn't resist doing it. Thicc lolis were to die for. Especially Lola at age 6, she was gorgeous.
"I swear to God, I'm not a fucking pedo. Fuck anyone who thinks I am." She thought while rubbing her clit.
Yet, for some reason it wasn't enough. Leda needed something more. Lucky for her, she wasn't one to turn away from experimentation.
She got up and searched under her piss stained mattress.
Then Leda hit the jackpot. "Eureka!" She exclaimed.
The girl pulled out a big green dildo. Seriously, this thing was huge. It reminded her of a specific, charming version of the Hulk.
Leda planted herself on her chair and kicked her legs up.
She kept her eyes focused on the Lola picture, rubbing herself with a finger and guiding the dildo up her tight asshole.
Without thinking, she shoved it in one go.
"Urrggh."
Leda pulled it out, seeing it got covered in her shit.
She took a deep breath in, unintentionally inhaling the fecal fumes.
"Shit." Literally.
"Okay, here goes..."
The second insertion somehow hurt even worse. The pain wasn't anything she's experienced before. Most of the time, she had to deal with bruises, scratches, or someone having a different opinion than her.
"Fuck, only did it two times in and now my ass hurts." She complained.
Leda regained herself, deciding to power through for the rest of the night.
She started slow, practicing stretching her asshole out.
Even went as far as lecturing herself. "It's the dildo that should fear my asshole, not the other way around." She is determined, destined to become the next Goatse.
Keeping his word, Blind decided to go see his father. As well as figure out where the hell Cohen ran off to. It's been hours since he's seen him!
A few bumps into the walls happened until he got to the right room.
He knocked on the door gently.
"Hang on." Lincoln said.
He got up and headed to the door, opening it slightly to see who was there. Some of his kids were aware of what him and his sisters did daily, but he wasn't too keen on them walking in on it. They sure as hell didn't need to see him eating Lana's ass, or finger fucking Luan or etc.
Noticing it was Blind, a wave of relief hit him. So convenient.
"Alright, come in." Lincoln ordered.
Blind walked in, immediately sensing something lewd going on.
A cheery voice acknowledged his presence. "Hey, Blind!"
"Aunt Leni? Is that you?" The boy asked, staring around so lost.
"Yup!" She answered giddily.
*Pbbllptltppt*
"What was that!?" Blind questioned. To him, it sounded like a damn nuke going off. Yeah, it was that loud.
"Oops. My kitty farted!" Leni exclaimed giddily.
"Your wha-? We have two cats?" He asked. From what he remembered, they only had Rag. He knew he wasn't in there because he'd be able to smell him. That foul odor of piss became embedded into his fur. He just never understood why.
Leni giggled, glancing at her soaked pussy. Getting pounded on a frequent basis, or even eaten out, those queefs tended to slip out unexpected. It was especially frequent in Lori, who seemed to be the master of blowing things out of her holes.
"There's no cat in here." Lincoln murmured, looking over at her and pressing a finger to his lips.
Leni nodded, scooting away from her nephew and promising to keep quiet.
"Hang on, Blind." Lincoln replied while going through his sex schedule.
"Eating Leni out from 10pm to 11pm. Then pissing, fucking and cumming in Lola's mouth from 11pm to 12am. Got it."
Blind eyed him, feeling bewildered.
"Did he really say that out loud?" He thought. So much for keeping things quiet!
And just like with Lemy, Blind could smell his dad's breath. It was highly unpleasant, constantly reeking of smut as opposed to pepsi. It's the job he took, pleasing most of his sisters on a nightly basis. There's no telling how the man hasn't gone completely insane. Granted, everyone in the Loud House was somewhat nutty!
Lincoln finally put his phone away and turned towards Blind.
"What's up, son?" He asked casually.
"I..." He hesitated. It's late, he's busy, this wasn't the time for any deep discussion.
There was one thing he needed. "Dad, can you help me find Cohen? I haven't seen him since this morning. Or heard him, you know what I mean, fuck!"
"What a terrible guide dog..." Lincoln thought, shaking his head.
"Alright, I'll go find him for you real quick." He assured. Depending on how long this takes, he's gonna owe Leni some more time.
The man approached his son, patting him on his bald head while peeking out the door.
Lincoln glanced around the halls for a few minutes.
Cohen wasn't in the kitchen, or outside.
Realizing that, the man checked the other rooms.
When he made it to Lana's space, it began making sense. He hadn't seen her all day either, and she loved animals... a little too much. Again, very unf.
Without wasting a moment, Lincoln opened her door to discover the very worst.
Lana's feet were up high in the air as Cohen licked her pussy clean.
"Lana!" Lincoln yelled.
"Aw, shiet." She said, moving her head to witness her pissed off brother.
"That's enough, boy." She said, sitting up and pushing the dog away.
Her cunt was a complete mess, all red, wet and reeking of peanut butter for some reason.
Lincoln groaned frustratingly.
"Do you seriously have to fuck Blind's dog? The kid has it hard enough not being able to see!" He shouted in anger.
"Sorry, I just couldn't help myself." Lana spoke as she slipped her underwear back on.
"Fucking hell." He said, facepalming.
Many years have gone by and Lana is still fucking gross.
Lincoln grabbed the dog by the collar, roughly moving him out of the sex and peanut butter stenched room.
"Hey..." Lana spoke.
"What?" Lincoln asked, refusing to face her.
"We're gonna need to buy more peanut butter, bro."
He took one last look back, noticing the many empty jars and a dirty butterknife on her bed.
"Ugh." He grunted.
"Don't knock it 'til you try it." Lana added, causing him to stop in his tracks again.
"Umm, that's really gay mi negro que pasopa." Lincoln said, frowning.
Trying to erase that imagery from his mind, he walked to where Blind stood while pulling the lusty mutt along side of him.
"Bad dog. I better not find you doing that shit again." He spoke down to him.
"Woof woof, faggot." Cohen barked.
Lincoln made it back and said. "I found him."
"Where was he?" Blind asked, facing the wall.
"Your aunt Lana was... playing with him." The man cringed.
"Oh..." From what the boy knew, his aunt REALLY liked animals about as much as Lola and her daughter liked pissing on cats.
"Thanks, Dad." Blind uttered, staring at the carpet.
Lincoln wiped his brow in annoyance. It's definitely not first time he had to walk on eggshells around his blind kid.
"No problem. Have a good nights rest, son." He responded.
"You, too." The boy replied, giving a small smile.
As much as Lincoln hoped for that to be true, he knew it wouldn't. He's still got a sex schedule to abide by and with what he just witnessed, sleeping tonight probably wouldn't be easy.
Aside from that, Blind went on his way.
Eventually finding the restroom, he walked inside, searching around until grabbing some toothpaste and his toothbrush.
Blind grinned at the mirror, showing his pearly whites off as he brushed his teeth clean, yet simultaneously grazing the brush against his lips and chin. Even simple things like this could be a bit difficult.
?But sometimes he felt he had to manage on his own. "I don't need your help, fuck!" He tended to think.
After miraculously spitting the mess down the drain instead of the floor, the boy wiped his face and left the bathroom.
He roamed around until getting into his room.
Cohen was already sleeping comfortably when he arrived, having wandered back on his without concern for his owner.
The dog felt beat, but his tongue seemed to be the most worn out part of him. That was a lot of licking he did in there. Lana couldn't help it, neither could he. Probably because peanut butter is really fucking yummy.
"What a day..." Blind uttered while laying on his bed.
He stared into space, seeing nothing but the dark and endless black. That's all he ever saw!
One issue after another, sleeping at times became a challenge. Anxiety, fear, vulnerability, each one of these things ate away at him. However, he had a means of coping.
Looking to do so, the boy moved his hands around in the dark, eventually reaching his drawer.
Once getting it, Blind pulled out his most prized possession, a goddamn ipod. It was filled with a majority of albums, most of which were slam death metal.
Following putting his headphones on, he shuffled through albums until picking something at random. Odds are a lot of them sounded fairly similar anyways.
Hearing all the brutality charge through his ears, he found himself at peace and thus proceeded to sleep.
Just a regular day for ol' Blind. Seriously, he can't fucking see!