the inspiration for this amazing work of art comes from today at school when I was waiting for my ride and screwing around with some sixth-grade boys. enjoy.
you saw it.
there in the distance, waiting for you.
calling your name.
the white box, holder of all things beautiful.
it was taller than you, with two handles on the front, and a small oval indent with a single word in it.
fridgidare, it said.
you reached your hand out and grasped the handle on the right. it was smooth and cold like marble.
you pulled, and the door opened slightly.
a blinding light shone from within, forcing you to shield your eyes.
with all your strength, you wrenched the door open and the light gleamed like the sun as it rises with red painted sky and streaked blue.
it was beautiful.
you looked inside the door.
there it was, between the ketchup and the salad dressing.
angelic voices rose in mighty chorus around you, and you thought you heard rick astley singing in the background.
you slowly extended your hand toward it.
it was too pure and good for this earth.
yet here it was.
beckoning.
your shaking fingers wrapped around the cool surface.
you trembled as you picked it up, turning it around to see the label.
your soul cried out in joy and your heart grew three sizes as you read it.
imagine the most ear-destroying screech for this next line
MAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSEEEEE
mayonnaise