Then there was you
RUKIA
"We have an urgent matter to discuss, Captains of the Gotei 13. As you are well aware, lieutenant Abarai of the sixth division has been sent to the human world's Karakura town to deal with that arancar that escaped us, Grimjaw Jaggerjack was it? Substitute soul reaper Ichigo Kurosaki had volunteered to assist him in vanquishing the remaining arancar's that may appear in Karakura town while he has been tasked with the mission of overlooking the neighbourhood. We have however received some disturbing reports from the twelfth division saying that both the spiritual pressure of Abarai and Kurosaki have dissipated completely. We aren't sure yet what this could mean, but im sure the officers of the stealth force will find them and assist them. As you can see, captain Mayuri is still at work trying to collect data on the situation, and therefore cannot be at the current meeting." Said captain general Shunsui Kyoraku, and he sighed tiredly.
I truly felt bad for him. He still had Lisa and Nanao as company, they were like daughters to him. But as people loving and friendly as he was, he never seemed to connect to other people. After the previous captain general Genryusai Yamamoto, his mentor and father figure died tragical during the last war, he seemed to be less suave than he used to be. Shunsui Kyoraku was well known as a womanizer, lazy layabout before the war, though he always made time everyday to visit my division's previous captain Juushiro Ukitake, his oldest and dearest friend.
I also missed him, my father figure, who was always concerned and caring for my health, despite always being of poor health himself. Working under him was never unpleasant, the thirteenth division always seemed like family and always had a warm atmosphere to it, our captain Ukitake being the heart of it with his childish, caring charm. He was a very wise man. And brave. He would have had at least two hundred years left to live if he didn't sacrifice himself for us, and if he kept taking his medication steadily. However, he chose to preform his duties to the bitter end, and died without regret, with a smile on his face, knowing that he did his best to help us all, and now what remained of him is now the entity we call, the Soul King.
We pretended not to be too concerned but everyday at the same hour that captain Shunsui used to check up on captain Ukitake's health, he visits his grave and talks to him. More than a few times Nanao or Lisa found him passed out at the grave, having drunk himself to sleep. The captain always used to be a drinker, but since captains Ukitake's passing he has mainly been drinking to heal the void of loneliness in his heart. I know that I couldn't even imagine life without Renji or Ichigo in it, and we have known each other only a few years.
Shunsui and Juushiro were introduced as children during a noble gathering thousands of years ago. They became fast friends and only strengthened their friendship over the millennia. They entered the Soul Reaper Academy together and graduated together. They were mentored under the same person, captain general Yamamoto, and both of them had twin zanpakuto's. They were always together and any arguments they had was always quickly forgiven and forgotten because of their long-time closeness.
The meeting halls doors opening without any knocking brought me out of my troubled thoughts.
"We have an emergency." Said captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi. "The nano-cams that my division sends with each soul reaper to record their work in the world of the living have been terminated, and not even a smidgen of data had been collected from them, it is impossible to say what happened to lieutenant Abarai and Kurosaki." He exclaimed, waving his arms in the air exaggeratingly.
A small shiver of worry ran up my spine. We all had been through so much together, I knew better than to let my worries get the better of me. There were always complications on missions, a small technical failure such as this was nothing. They were both fine. Publicly, I looked much like my brother, Byakuya. I schooled my features to look unconcerned and uninterested, devoid of emotions. Ichigo was as strong as a captain, perhaps as strong as my brother, he should handle any weak little arancar with ease. Renji. My finger subconsciously stroked my wedding ring. He wasn't as strong as Ichigo, but he was determined and I knew nothing would ever get the better of him because he had too much love for life to die young. I let my mask crack just a little at the thought of my meaningless worry. They both saved my life too many times to count. Paranoia was unbecoming of a Kuchiki.
While captain Mayuri harped on about how he couldn't understand why something happened to his devices and about how upset he was about not knowing something, my thoughts continued to run away with me. I loved both Ichigo and Renji, but Ichigo was a human and he had to live his life. That doesn't mean that we couldn't still be friends, hell he was my closest friend, closer even than Renji, and Renji and I grew up together.
Renji's proposal was just was we needed to draw the line in our friendship. It was almost a year ago now. I didn't accept it at first. And Byakuya was beyond unhappy about me marrying out of the nobility, but he said he would never stand in the way of my own happiness, when he himself married my sister, Hisana, who was a peasant in district seventy-eight, Hanging Dog. One of the Soul Societies hell districts. From seventy-eight to eighty, were considered the worst districts in the afterlife. They were poor, dirty and filled with unkind soul's.
For common souls, eating wasn't an important part of life because they couldn't get hungry, however the soul transferal system wasn't perfect and my sister and I had been sent to a district that definitely wasn't meant for us, after all I was a new borne baby when I died and was sent there with her, what sins could I have committed to be condemned to such a place? I was one of the few souls that emitted a stronger spiritual pressure, those of us who have more spirit energy than others feel the effect of the cold, of hunger.
Brother never spoke about how he met my sister, but I know that for the better part of the century he has loved no one else, even though she died before the plum blossoms first bloom on their fifth year.
I decided to keep the name 'Kuchiki' for his sake, and for my sisters. Renji was hurt when I told him that I wouldn't change my name, and that Byakuya refused to give him our family name. It wasn't uncommon for things like this to happen in the nobility, but it was sometimes overlooked. A distant relative named Koga Kuchiki married into the family and still took the family name. Of course, he became a stain on the family name and had to be sealed away and terminated for misconduct.
Incessive knocking from the outside echoed through the hall. I walked to the door and opened it for the terrified looking stealth force officer.
"What is it?" Asked captain general Kyoraku through a sigh, and all eyes turned towards the trembling young man.
"Sir. We have just returned from the world of the living. We were informed by the human friends of lieutenant Abarai of what happened, may I give you my report sir?" He asked and lifted his head only enough to see the captain general beckon him forward.
Captain took the written report and ordered the man away. His eye's widened and his lips parted in a gasp. His hand clenched the report harder as he read the report. My eyes were trained on his every move. It was against order to speak out before the captain general chose to inform us of what he decided we should know, but my nerves got the better of me.
"Captain General, sir, what did the report say?" I asked in a soft tone. He licked his lips and tried to reply to me, only to close his mouth again and bite his cheek. He looked me in the eye sincerely then gestured for brother to come forward and read the report. By this time, we all knew something bad had to have happened. Was it Ichigo? Was it Renji? My heart hammered in my chest and I let my social mask fall away completely.
"Brother?" I asked Byakuya. Once he was finished reading the report, I could see his jaw clench and unclench. He folded the report and tucked it into his uniform and walked towards me.
"Thank you, Shunsui. I believe we should be headed home." He said with his back to the rest of the room, and lifted his hand to grasp mine and pull me towards the door.
"Wait." Said the captain general, and he pulled his straw hat over his eyes. "I have a mission for captain Kuchiki of the thirteenth division." He said and lifted his hat only enough for one eye to peek through beneath it. "You are now tasked with exterminating the threat in Karakura town." He said, directly to me.
"I won't allow it." Said my brother harshly beside me.
"It is a direct order from her captain general, she, nor you may refuse. This is a personal matter now, it is her duty, both to us and to the fallen." Captain general Shunsui said to him.
"Fallen?" I asked my brother hesitantly, and the panic and refusal to accept what they had clearly announced right in front of me. Many shocked gasps echoed throughout the hall.
"The Kuchiki family has higher duties to abide by than that of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. As the head of the Kuchiki clan, I refuse your order, I shall go in her stead." He answered, pulled me behind himself.
The captain general sighed. "She has the right to avenge the death of Abarai and Kurosaki, you know that it isn't just the need to end the problem that makes me choose her for the job. Lady Kuchiki, what would you like to do?" He asked me with pitying eyes.
I snatched the report out of Byakuya's haori, startling him. He tried to gently take it back from me but I kept moving it out of his reach so that I could read it myself. I wasn't aware of the tears streaming down my face or that my mouth had begun quivering. All captains apart from the captain general, brother and myself left the hall, offering us their condolences.
At approximately 11:34pm in the town on Karakura in the world of the living, the arancar known as Grimjaw Jaggerjack emerged and called out for Ichigo Kurosaki to battle him, lieutenant Abarai and Kurosaki fought there best, but when they had the enemy cornered, the enemy released a powerful attack in the direction of the Kurosaki Clinic. The mod soul currently residing in Kurosaki's body tried to escape with his two sisters, but the strike hit its target and both Kurosaki and his younger sister Karin Kurosaki were eliminated. Once Kurosaki's real body was killed, his spirit immediately passed on. Abarai tried to call for assistance but the communication with the twelfth division had been severed due to the monstrous spiritual pressure from the arancar. He and Kurosaki had previously managed to inflict grave injuries upon the arancar, however before it retreated back to Hueco Mundo it dealt a fatal blow to Abarai who was trying to resuscitate the fallen Kurosaki Karin, and Kurosaki Ichigo. The intel from this report was directly given by Orihime Kurosaki, wife of Ichigo Kurosaki, and Uryu Ishida.
At some point Byakuya had stopped trying to retrieve the report and instead tried to persuade the captain general that he would be better for the job.
"That's impossible. This isn't real." I murmured under my breath. How was it even possible for them to be dead? The were so strong! Kon, the mod soul, Karin Kurosaki, Ichigo's younger sister, Ichigo, a hollow, quincy and soul reaper hybrid, and Renji, my husband of not even six months and lieutenant of the sixth division, under Byakuya my brother. It was impossible for these four souls to just be…gone.
"I will leave for the world of the living immediately." I said after wiping my face of all the tears I had shed. I bowed to the captain general and flash stepped as fast as I could to my bedroom at the Kuchiki compound.
So, once again the story has come full circle. Like how Kaien died to avenge Miyako back when I was new to the thirteenth division. It was my duty to kill the monster that killed my precious friends, my husband. Even though I know I would most likely die, just as Kaien had, I know it has to be done. Besides, now everyone who I cared for is gone. What is the point of living in a world without the ones who loved you the most, who you loved the most? I thought briefly about my brother. He was strong, he recovered after losing my sister and he became stronger. I don't mean much more to him than a promise he had made to my sister. He will be fine without me, one less burden for him to carry on his shoulders.
After I was sure that I was prepared to face what was ahead of me, I left to the Senkaimon for departure. Even though I knew it was cowardice, I didn't try to find Byakuya to say my goodbyes. He would either stop me, or join me and die at my side. No one else needs to die, except that arancar. I was going to kill the arancar or die trying. I have nothing left to lose. Once the doors opened for me, granting my passage into the world of the living, I stepped into it with no regrets. I thought I saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye, but it must have been my imagination.
BYAKUYA
She fled after announcing her intentions and my heart leapt into my throat. In one last attempt to convince the captain general to let me leave as well, I resorted to more cunning, manipulative tactics. I knew that he had a soft spot for anyone who he shared history with.
"Shunsui-senpai, please. I can't lose her as well. She is young, like I was. She hurts now, but the pain will alleviate over time. Don't let her waste her life. She still has people who love her. Let me accompany her?" I asked him and bowed, only enough to show him the respect I once openly showed to all my mentors.
He sighed and closed his eyes. "And what would happen to the Kuchiki clan if the head of the clan doesn't return home?" He asked me hesitantly.
"I will not die until I know she is safe at home. I have willed Rukia Kuchiki, my adoptive sister, to be the next clan head if anything ever were to happen to me. Though you needn't worry. Of what I can tell, the arancar is smart, but it waits for openings since it cannot rely upon its own strength to succeed in battle. I will be victorious, and I will not interfere in Rukia's battle unless she needs me, you have my word and my honour." I told him and bowed just a little lower than anyone of my status ever should, to emphasise the importance of my request. I was begging. It shamed me but my pride has long since taken a shape of its own. Sacrificing a little for the majority was worth it.
"Very well. I will await your report. Report to me in person upon your return." He said to me. I straightened myself and nodded briefly before flash stepping back to the compound. I waited on the roof overlooking the Senkaimon. I watched her walk towards it, with sad, resigned eyes. She didn't even intend to talk to me before she left. My heart ached painfully. I was no stranger to the loss of loved ones. I would forgive her.
Before she entered the Senkaimon, I flash stepped ahead of her so that I may follow her once she enters the world of the living. It would be best if she didn't know that I was following her.
I stepped out of the light and into the world of the living. Such a strange world. Unlike the majority of souls in the spirit world, I was never apart of this world. Souls that move between the worlds, continuing the cycle of life that maintains the stability. Once you die in the world of the living, you are moved to the soul society, once you die there you are once again reincarnated afresh in he world of the living, a completely new life.
I was born from one of the royal families in the soul society. A new soul, my first life. Unlike regular souls, mine will always return to the soul society for reincarnation. One of the reasons we try to keep marriages and reproduction inside the highest nobility is for that very reason. If we marry outside of the nobility we run a risk of falling outside of our class and into the uncountable masses of regular human souls. It is rare but it is possible for the human soul to become apart of the nobility family tree, permanently as well, but that is dependent on children and if the marriage stayed true.
The Kuchiki clan are the book keepers of the entire afterlife. We retain all information regarding souls. Souls that died out, living the last of their lives, new souls, reincarnated souls, damned souls, we hold the records of all, since the very beginning. The danger for us however, is that over the years fewer and fewer of our own have been reincarnated. And even if they were, if they grew corrupt and meddled in the books of life and death, many horrible events could occur.
I myself thought about rewriting the events of Hisana's life. If I removed her illness from her life, she would live. But I understand why it is that we should not meddle with fate. My parents, my uncle and my aunt both grew greedy for power and attempted to overthrow my grandfather because they wanted to use the records instead of protecting them. They were all executed. The law is the law. Even my mother wasn't allowed to live. I promised them that I would never break the law, for any reason. I never intended to. And I couldn't very well refuse their last wishes.
I wasn't supposed to claim the position of head of the clan or captain of the sixth division, at least not for many millennia to come. My father's older sister's husband Koga was to be the next head of the clan, however due to corruption in his human soul, he had to be sealed away. His wife, my aunt fought to the death with my grandfather to avenge her husband, even knowing that he was in the wrong, knowing what she was doing didn't accomplish anything but, grandfather, and my fathers suffering. Father broke the law trying to rewrite his sisters' fate, and was punished accordingly. The only Kuchiki left to inherit our legacy and our duties was me.
I was forced to leave behind my innocence and become a soldier. I was burdened with being the last person alive who grandfather could pass his teachings to. I did my utmost to abide by his teachings as well as the teachings of Yoruichi Shihoin, a few nobles from the four great houses, much like ours, Juushiro Ukitake and Shunsui Kyoraku were also my mentors, teaching me the fundamentals of becoming a soul reaper. I couldn't go to the academy because our class wasn't supposed to mix with riffraff. During my final year however, at least for a few months, I had to become apart of the academy in order to achieve official qualification. I had to go to the land of the living for tests, I had to patrol the Rukongai districts, even the worst of them, and I had to judge souls in the world of the living sending them to the afterlife or to hell.
It was during a patrol in the seventy-eighth district, Hanging Dog, where I found a young woman being harassed by a group of men. It wasn't our duty to interfere with the people living there, however we were also tasked with upholding the peace. I chose to break up the argument and volunteered to walk the girl home. That was how I first met Hisana.
She had told me that she was looking for information about someone and those people said they could answer some of her questions. Whether they knew the answers that she was seeking became irrelevant when they tried to force her to pay for the information in a way she wasn't willing to.
Often when I was set on patrol for the Rucongai, I would seek her out to ask her if she had any luck in her search, and offer her aid via food and resources. We became friends quickly. She was incredibly kind and caring for someone who grew up in such a terrible place. She was a peasant, a regular human soul that was sent to the after life until her time for reincarnation came.
Every time I saw her I felt more and more guilt. My family kept the records of souls. I could look at them and find the person she spoke of for her, if they even still lived. But fear of crossing the boundaries of the law kept me from doing so.
One day when I stayed longer in the Rucongai than my patrol required of me, we stay up talking well into the night. I decided it was better not to tell her about my family, or else she would beg me to help her, and even worse I knew that I just might. So, I kept my silence. That was the night that she told me who it was she was looking for.
She knew it was a girl, who probably looked a lot like herself. She said the girl was her baby sister, that she gave up. Gave up wouldn't quiet be what she did for the baby, but I couldn't judge her because I didn't live in their world. She said that no one would help her with the baby. There weren't any nursing mothers in the Rucongai because only souls with vast spiritual pressure were able to procreate. The baby was hungry, and she was hungry and scared. She kept the baby for as long as she could, but when it seemed that her comfort wouldn't be enough, that the baby was sure to die all over again, in her arms as it did when their home in the world of the living was invaded by bandits and their family was murdered. She left the baby in an ally and ran away.
She said she wasn't sure what happened to the baby, but a boy told her a few days after she let the baby that an old woman picked her up and took the baby with her. If even the smallest chance existed for her to find her baby sister, to help her now even though she couldn't then, she wanted to do it.
I whole heartedly supported her. After my training at the academy was completed, I hired Hisana as a maid in our household. She was shocked to say the least when she found out that I was a noble. Once I had completed my studies I was appointed lieutenant of the sixth division under my grandfather, and never did I give up my training. I trained in Bakudo, Kido, Hado and swordsmanship. Whenever the demon cat woman, Yoruichi came to tease me and taunt me, I would practice my flash step.
Soon I took my grandfather's place as the captain of the sixth division, and not long after that I became the twenty-eighth head of the Kuchiki family. Of course, my duties to the family still weren't over. Because of the lack of Kuchiki's in the house, it was my duty to produce the next heir, and to raise them in the family's laws and responsibilities. However, it was not as simple as that. Either the noble woman was too young, too old, or just not my type, like Yoruichi Shihoin. Yoruichi had a younger brother who could become the next head of the family, she was also the captain of the second division, the stealth force. It would have been a perfect match to anyone who didn't know us personally.
I was relieved of that immediate burden once she ran away from her duties with the captain of the twelfth division, Kisuke Urahara. One day, she just never turned up to her division quarters, she didn't return home either, she just vanished. I expressed my immense relief to Hisana, who I had remained close to over the passing years. Every week she would leave to go search the Rucongai for her sister. Once, out of curiosity I asked grandfather if it was against the law to merely look at the books, with no intent to change anything. He sighed and told me that looking isn't enough. Temptation will force you to keep doing the wrong thing, that even though we kept the records, they didn't belong to us, they belonged to the heavens, where the soul's who lived their last lives are sent. Human souls that is. Us born souls never truly ascend, we just exist to preform our duties and those of us who aren't exterminated or sealed are able to reincarnate back into our family as the future generation of Kuchiki's.
I also shared my thoughts about my feelings towards Hisana with my grandfather on his deathbed. He encouraged me, saying that as long as I found some happiness for myself among all of my responsibilities, that he could rest peacefully. He told me how he regretted not being able to watch me grow up at my own pace, but was exceedingly grateful to the gods for allowing him the time to raise me and watch me succeed in life. He passed away the next morning, leaving me the soul surviving Kuchiki. At the mercy of a cold world and conspiring Elders who would attempt to use me and influence me at all times during my life. Their advice and manipulation weren't very different, as I learnt harshly over the years.
I took his and my parents wishes to heart, I upheld the law and I tried to make happiness for myself. I asked Hisana to marry me, and she said yes. However as calm and peaceful as life was for me, even after my loss, it couldn't last. Hisana was over exerting herself everyday out looking for her sister. I loved her dearly, but our relationship never truly became romantic even after we married. She would spend every waking moment in depression, and when I finally had some time to myself where I could be with her, she was out looking for her sister. Sometimes I joined her for the company, but it always secretly hurt me when she continued her search instead of spending small moments with me.
She became ill soon after we were married, it was a disease of the heart, the type self-inflected over long times of mourning. Her regrets were killing her, yet still she searched. I couldn't stop her, all I was able to do was nurse her back to health until she decided she was well enough again to continue searching. I continued my duties to the clan, trying to uphold the good name the previous heads of the family had set before me. Few times throughout our marriage had we tried to conceive an heir, but whether it was just terrible luck, or her ill health, we were never able to have a child.
Eventually Hisana was bed ridden and all I could do to comfort her was hold her hand and care for her while she was unable to care for herself. She expressed to me how important it was to her that I would carry on her search in her stead if she were to die, that I should not tell her sister about her because she felt that she didn't deserve the title of elder sister. I helped her fall asleep by assuring her I would. Not an hour later, I tried to show her the first blossom of the plum tree, but she could no longer open her eyes, and her hand was colder than stone.
The elders forbade me from burying her among our family because she never truly became apart of the family, having not given me an heir. I felt that their reasoning was ridiculous, however I upheld their council and the law on the request that I be allowed to adopt the younger sister Hisana had been searching for if I should ever find her. It was against the law of course, but my conflict between the promise I made Hisana and the promise I made to my parents conflicted me. At the end I decided to adopt her anyway, regardless of the council of others. Many called me foolish and looked down upon me for tarnishing the Kuchiki name. I could bare it, as long as the burden was mine and not my families.
I finally found her at long last, the sister of Hisana, her name was Rukia. She looked every bit as beautiful as her elder sister, but where Hisana was timid and resigned, Rukia was head strong and brash. She initially refused to join my family. Knowing that it was probably a lot for her to take in so suddenly, I told her to think about the proposition and that I would return in a weeks' time with the adoption papers again. I don't know what changed her mind, but she decided to let me adopt her as my younger sister.
I made a living area for her in my home and created opportunities for her, such as removing her from the academy at once and allowing her to join the Thirteen Court Guard Squads at once. My mentor, captain Ukitake said he could take her in his squad, and we made an agreement to not seat her in any military positions, despite her promise in ability. It was for her own protection, as normal soul reapers weren't allowed to go on dangerous missions. We shared silent meals every day for breakfast and evening meals, we never spoke. She never looked at me and I never looked at her. How many years we wasted in fear, mourning and misunderstanding.
Forty years passed and after a particularly bad mission, Rukia was sent to a small town in the world of the living called Karakura. I intended to wish her well, and ask after her health, we did sometimes participate in small talk. But by the time I returned home before our evening meal, she had already left.
I shook myself from my thoughts when I noticed her exit the Senkaimon. I masked my presence and followed her like a shadow. The area was soaked in the recesses of dark energy. The arancar must have already come back. That means it was after something. It killed Ichigo Kurosaki, yet it came back. Was it after the other humans, his friends? Probably not. It could have killed them ages ago. It purposefully killed Abarai even though it was injured. It was killing with a purpose.
An uncomfortable feeling settled in my gut. It attacked Rukia once a long time ago. It couldn't possibly be after her, could it?
While Rukia found a high point to search the area from, I searched for the arancar. Traces of it were all around us, like a spider web. Just then I saw it just in time, appearing behind Rukia like an assassin. Before I could move she turned around and slashed at it with her zanpakuto. It seemed to be speaking with her while she tried to slash it or freeze it, though I couldn't tell what it was saying. She didn't seem to be trying her best against it, she wasn't even using her bankai, and her shikai was doing nothing for her other than wasting her spirit energy.
Rukia, what are you doing?
RUKIA
I climbed to the top of a tower to overlook the town. I had no intention of looking for Grimjaw however, he would find me. I emit my spiritual pressure around me like a tasty lure cast to bring in a big catch. I felt abnormal movement not far behind me and drew my blade just in time to avoid being clawed by him.
"Well well, it looks like someone isn't as weak and foolish as she was before." Said Grimjaw through his monstrous pointed teeth. He tried to craw at my neck and I encased the area around me in a thick wall of solid ice.
"Nothing to say to me? You know, im really quite angry. I spent a lot of time trying to kill Ichigo Kurosaki, and I finally did, and when I tried to eat the spiritual pressure in his corpse, there wasn't any left, I feel cheated. And that red headed baboon tasted like crap from the lick I got off of him before returning to Hueco Mundo. I do remember how you taste however, the one that got away. You know, I really thought I killed you back then, but since you are here we may as well play before I eat you." He said between growls and grunts while he was trying to claw at me.
"I will kill you or die trying. You killed my friends! My husband! Why are you like this? It's not like you enjoy anything you do, Aizen is gone, so why are you still doing his bidding?" I cried as I returned every blow he dealt me. I would have used bankai by now if I knew for sure that it wouldn't leave me more vulnerable.
If my body and my blade become ice, the elements would be better in my control and I could attack him from a distance, however, leaving myself in a state like that would mean that if he hit me just once, he could shatter me like glass. "Urg!" I choked as he successfully kicked my midriff sending me flying into a concrete tower. I grit my teeth as I involuntarily coughed blood. Before I could regain my senses and move away from the creator in the tower, Grimjaw appeared in front of me and slashed my chest twice with each of his claws.
The last thing I remember feeling was warmth and acceptance. I wouldn't have to live without the people I cared for most any longer. I would start a new life, with a new family, a human family. I would have parents and friends and siblings, I wouldn't be alone like I am now. I managed a small smile.
"Thank you." I barely whispered, to no one in particular, or perhaps it was to fate.
BYAKUYA
I was too late! A moment after the arancar caught her and slashed her my bankai engulphed the arancar. It screamed beastly and shrieked out its last words.
"Who are you? How dare you!?" Shrieked Grimjaw as more and more of his body became nothing but a bloody splotch.
"I am the family of this woman. And I was a friend of Ichigo Kurosaki and Renji Abarai. My name is too pure to touch foul ears and lips such as yours, so I will refrain from telling it to you. Perish, filth." I told him and with that, naught but gurgles were heard until nothing resembling a body was left. I recalled my blade and watched the rest of the corpse fade to dust. I hope he perishes in the depths of hell.
The last of the cherry blossom petals became my blade, and I sheathed it. I walked up to Rukia. I was honestly afraid to touch her, I was afraid that she no longer had a pulse. Hesitantly I lifted my hand to her upturned cheek and gently moved my fingers towards her pulse. It was still there, and not too weak. I did know some healing Kido, but not nearly enough to heal advanced injuries such as these.
I couldn't risk further aggravating her injuries so I held her face to my neck and opened the Senkaimon. I held her tightly against my chest, a hand over her head and an arm around her waist, and I ran through the Senkaimon at lightning speed.
Once I was through I immediately flash stepped towards the fourth division, to find captain Isane Kotetsu. I didn't need to open my mouth to voice my intentions, as the disturbance I caused lured Isane out of her office.
"Captain Kuchiki? What is…?" She trailed off, startled at the blood dripping on her floor.
"She received massive injuries in the world of the living, heal her immediately and to the best of your ability. I have a report I have to turn in." I told her and narrowed my eyes at her when she made no move to take Rukia from me.
"Oh! I'm sorry captain Kuchiki! I will do my best, come by when you have time and ask my sister where we are if I am not yet done healing her." She told me and gently took Rukia from my arms. It was too painful to see Rukia it such a bloody state. I flash stepped towards the squad one barracks. I knocked once before lieutenant Ise let me inside.
"Captain Kuchiki." She greeted me with a bow, I nodded briefly towards her as I made my way to captain general Shunsui's office.
"Come to give me your report already?" Captain general Shunsui asked lowly, sensing that something bad must have happened, after all, my usually spotless and clean shihakusho and haori, and even my precious silk heirloom scarf was unkept and bloodied.
"Yes. From what I observed the arancar was particularly targeting Kurosaki and Rukia. It almost killed her, though she fought well. I stepped in only at the last minute to deal the finishing blow as she was rendered unconscious due to a massive injury to her abdomen. That is all." I told him as I looked him in the eye, I bowed shallowly and turned to leave.
"Wait." Captain general Kyoraku stated before I was able to escape his office. "I know how difficult it is to lose people you care about, Miss Kuchiki won't be able to preform her duties well enough anyway, so I am giving you both three months leave, non-negotiable. Be seeing you, Bya-bo." He said and tipped his straw hat friendly towards me. I walked out without another word.
Having completed my duties, I left for the fourth division once again. I grimaced as the dried blood that soaked through my clothes onto my skin clung to my skin. I needed to have a bath, but I would make sure that Rukia was stabilised first.
One of the seated officers of the fourth division led me to the room where Rukia was being healed. "It's here, sir." He said and bowed lowly before leaving. I opened the door only to halt in my step. Captain Isane was just finishing up bandaging Rukia's chest. My heart flew up into my throat in fright.
"I'm terribly sorry, I will leave." I said as I bowed and quickly turned around.
"That's not necessary captain Kuchiki, we are done now. Though it would be better if you knocked and awaited an answer in the future." Captain Isane chided and quickly apologised further for insulting again me, once I gave her my deadliest glare.
"What is the diagnosis, is she not fully healed?" I asked the stuttering woman.
"Oh well." She said looking down and sighed sadly. "I healed Miss Kuchiki to the best of my ability, she only needs to remove the bandage with the ointment in a few days' time, to avoid scarring. I did all I could for her, but I'm afraid that the baby couldn't be saved." She said sadly and placed her hand in her lap. Rukia who had been moving to climb off of the high hospital bed stilled in shock. My own heart froze and shivered in silent terror.
"What…baby?" Rukia asked hesitantly and touched her abdomen. "I wasn't pregnant." She said, searching Captain Isane's face, and glancing towards me for reassurance.
"It was about eight or nine weeks along already. I'm so, so sorry! I thought you knew! I shouldn't have said anything, please forgive me Rukia!" Isane mumbled and bowed low.
"I didn't even know." She said and violent shivers tore through her body.
RUKIA
Isane left us shortly after telling us about the miscarriage I had. I really wanted to die. I closed my eyes hoping for a new beginning. Only this seems to be a nightmare. I recklessly rushed into battle and I could have died. But I survived and now I have lost yet another loved one, because of my own foolishness. One that I didn't even know existed yet, but somehow hit me the hardest.
Brother walked over to me and carefully sat on the bed. He hesitantly took my hand in one of his own and stroked it with his other.
"Rukia. I'm sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through." He told me and squeezed my hand gently.
"Why did you bother saving me? Why didn't you let me die? I thought I lost everything that I loved, everyone who loved me. Now, I live only to lose another precious person. One I didn't have time to begin loving, but am forced to mourn over forever." I told him bitterly and his hands moved away from mine.
"Everyone? Rukia. I'm still here, and I love you." He told me gently trying to look me in the eye. "No one knew about the baby. This is a tragedy, but the one at fault is already dead, I killed him. I am not really close to anyone, but I considered Abarai and Kurosaki friends. The loss is heavy, but we can pull through it together. You won't always feel this sad, one day the pain will leave you." He told me and reclaimed my hand hesitantly.
"I don't think that is true." I told him and let my tears fall freely. I knew how awkward he must feel being around me while I was like this but I didn't want to be alone, and I needed to talk to someone. "I could be myself around them, I knew them completely, we trusted each other completely. How can I live without them in my life? And it's not only Renji and Ichigo that I have lost today. Karin, Ichigo's little sister also died, and Kon, the mod soul Ichigo and I saved together also died. And now my baby? The only part of Renji that I had left. And it's gone because I was reckless, because I tried to throw my life away!" I cried and squeezed his hand. I buried my face in between my knees and wept without restraint. "Kaien is gone, captain Ukitake is gone. Everyone I know and care for keeps leaving me. And the first person was my sister, maybe that was some sort of omen saying that I would be without loved ones for eternity." I told him and tried to rock myself for comfort.
"I can't change the past. But if you need to talk to someone, if you need to cry or if you just need company, I'm here for you Rukia. I know that I will never be like any of the people you lost who you loved so dearly, but I will make time for you. You can be yourself around me, nothing would make me happier." He told me and kissed my hand softly. I tilted my head towards him and wiped my tears away on my sleeve.
"I don't think you mean that." I told him and smiled sadly at him. "You might judge me on my thoughts and feelings. And I just don't know how to approach you. You seem so strong and confident and intimidating." I told him and he visibly flinched.
"Perhaps in the past I may have judged you, but not now. I want to be your friend, Rukia. It has been many years since I have let myself befriend anyone. I don't make friends easily for many reasons. I never had the luxury of playing with another child or speaking openly with another person. There were only two people I ever spoke to about my own thoughts and feelings to, and both have left me. Hopefully we can be companions to each other? I don't know how to be open, but I will try only for you. Also, you needn't been intimidated by me, by all rights as a Kuchiki, you are my only equal, I will not shun you." He told me and tried to smile.
"It would be nice you see you happy and smiling as well, you know." I told him and sat up trying to push my luck. He smelt like dried blood and I smelt as herbs and ointments but I was going to try and hug him none the less. For some reason talking to him made me feel lighter at heart. I don't think my mind truly accepted the loss.
I reached forward and pulled his face towards my chest. His eyes widened and he grunted on impact. My chest was rather flat so he had nothing to be embarrassed about really. I held him more gently and ran my fingers through his hair once, stopping when the kenseikan got in the way.
"R-Rukia?" He asked and put one of his arms on either side of me.
"I-it's a hug. You know? Though usually the other person hugs back. Otherwise it just makes things awkward." I told him and he hesitantly and loosely wrapped his arms around me. "When can I go home?" I asked him and gently squeezed him.
"Uh…I'm not sure, I will ask captain Isane. Perhaps you should stay the night?" He asked me hesitantly. I shook my head.
"No. I don't want to stay here. I don't really feel like sleeping in my room either, but it's better than here. I can't even think about how lonely everything will feel now. All that empty space never used to bother me before, or sharing wardrobes and bedding. Now, even the thought of it makes me feel sick, and even though I want to cry, the tears just won't come." I told him and buried my face between his shoulder and neck.
He cleared his throat. "Well, you may have your old room back, if you would like? You could choose a new room tomorrow as well, if you would prefer?" He asked me and I leaned back, releasing him from my hold.
"I don't know what I want. I just don't want to be alone, or in space where Renji and I once were together." I told him and carefully jumped off of the bed. I cringed but hid it before he could notice, and strode out of the room.
"Captain Isane? Thank you for everything. Would it be alright for me to return home now?" I asked her and she looked worried.
"Uh, I don't know if that is the best idea, you will still bleed for about a week or two, won't you please stay here until you have recovered?" She asked with concern. Before I could answer her, brother almost bit her head off.
"I thought you said she was fully recovered. What do you mean bleed?" He asked and narrowed his eyes at her.
"I'm sorry captain Kuchiki! This wasn't something I could heal for her. She will be in a lot of pain and discomfort until the rest of the fluids from her uterus have come out. It's what happens when…you know?" She said softly, trying not to prod at any fresh wounds. Brother looked contemplative.
"Rukia? Do you want to stay here? I'm sure our physician could care for you as well in the meanwhile, if you are insistent on returning home?" He asked me.
"I want to go home. This pain won't kill me." I said and immediately cringed at my poor choice of words.
"Alright, if you insist. I will come over once a day to check on you, and if you need me you must send for me." She told us both and turned to brother. "She must not be allowed to leave her bed, no walking around unless it is to the bathroom, and she must try to stay on a light diet until she is fully recovered." She told him and he nodded. He wouldn't be that strict, would he? A shiver ran down my spine.
"Wait, wait, wait, so I'm supposed to stay in bed all day doing nothing? Alone? I don't even have decent reading material…I can't do that." I agued and brother glared at me.
"It is what is best for your health, you will do it to recover swiftly." He told me and I glared at him.
"Are we going to go home now?" I asked him and looked away. I was incredibly rare for us to ever argue, and almost never in public. I had to look away before he decided to keep me here while I recover.
Before I could gather what was happening around me, I was picked up like a baby and the world around me flashed by. Then I was placed gently on a soft thick futon mattress. I looked around me and gaped at the odd change of scenery. There were painting scrolls and elegant calligraphy papyrus hanging on the walls, as well and an incense bath and many other homey-like ornaments.
"Uhm, where-?" I started to ask him before he turned away quickly.
"This is my room. You may stay here tonight. Is there anything I can get for you from your room?" He asked me and took a sudden interest in my face. Probably because it was the first time that he saw me blush. You don't just dump someone in your bed and then offer to search their personal belongings. Then it occurred to me. I would get him back for this.
"Yes, but my room it very untidy…" I began and he frowned. I could see that he wanted to reprimand me for it, but decided to hold his tongue. "Is it really alright for me to sleep here? Where will you be?" I asked him and he looked a little bit unsettled.
"You are to stay here until you have recovered. I will be staying here as well of course to watch over you." He told me and all the blood rushed to my cheeks.
"You mean, like we are going to sleep in the same bed?" I asked him and he nodded like it wasn't a big deal. "Well…I will need my toiletries, my chappy face cloth, my chappy toothbrush, and the right side of the closet is mine, I would like my sleeping robes, please? And a change of clothing for tomorrow." I told him and even though his eyebrows twitched, he tried to smile. "Oh, and do you have any games?" I asked him and he looked at me blankly.
"Well, under the entertainment table there are two boxes, could you also bring those?" I asked him. He frowned and nodded. Just as he was about to exit his room I called after him. "Don't forget to bring some clean underwear from the top draw next to my side of the closet, and also the back purse inside there, I will need it to help stop the bleeding." I told him. I barely heard him squeak the word 'okay' before he left to go and get what I asked of him.
He returned in about twenty minutes. I had enough time to look at his bathroom and walk around his living space a bit. He looked incredibly uncomfortable with his arms as full as they were. I walked up to him and started filing away my belongings among his things. I put the game boxes by his calligraphy desk and put my toiletries in his bathroom. I hung my kimono on the handle of his closet and held my sleepwear and underwear in my arms.
"Uhm, thank you. I will change here while you get cleaned up." I told him and waited for him to nod and walk over to his closet and take out his dark blue night robes. While he was in the bathroom cleaning himself of my blood, I changed into my night clothes. I forgot to ask him to bring my chappy plushie because I couldn't sleep without it. I sighed to myself.
Byakuya walked out of the bathroom looking clean and refreshed. I was already laying inside of his futon, I looked up at him and gave him a small smile, I was sure that I wasn't blushing anymore because the days events eventually caught up with me and now I just wanted to sleep.
"Would you like something to drink or eat?" He asked me, as he placed his dirtied clothes in the washing hamper.
"Uh, yes please, I wouldn't mind some water. But im not really hungry. Everything is just weighting down on me now, I just need to sleep." I told him and lay back down in his bed. He nodded and left to return with a glass and a jug of cold water. I drank a few sips and settled on my back under his covers.
"Don't mind me, just do what you usually do during this hour, I'm going to try and sleep." I told him and smiled at him. He stared at me for a moment before walking to his desk and sitting down ever so elegantly. I didn't notice that I was mindlessly staring at him, until he looked up and met my eyes.
"Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to stare. I was lost in thought and my eyes just sort of ended up on you." I told him and turned my head away quickly.
"It's not a problem. I am just unused to company." He told me. I tried to sleep but I just couldn't.
"Brother?" I asked, trying to mask my irritation.
His brush halted in an instant and he looked up. "Yes?" He asked me waiting for me to tell him why I stopped him mid stroke.
"Do you maybe have a stuffed toy? Maybe a bunny? I can't really sleep without holding something." I told him and he looked thoughtful for a moment.
"I don't know if this will be sufficient, but will an Ambassador Seaweed plush be alright?" He said after retrieving it from a table of his admired items and ornaments. I took it and tried hugging it.
"It's nice and soft, it will work just fine, and it smells really nice as well. Thank you." I told him and tried to lay on my side facing away from him and the light.
"You are welcome." He told me. After about five more minutes of calligraphy, he gave up and decided to join me for the night.
BYAKUYA
She drifted off to sleep faster that I thought she would. I wasn't as open to opening up to her as I claimed to be, but trying to connect to her in her time of need is what she needs so I will fulfil them.
I need to prepare the funeral arrangements for Abarai as soon as possible. I didn't really have time to sleep, and even though I swore to watch over her until she is well again, I will have to leave an prepare my lieutenants send off.
It was customary to send off the departed as soon as possible, which for us will be by tomorrow around noon.
I sighed and got up and dressed again. I made my way to my division and ordered my men to organise a send off worthy of a hero of the Seireitei and lieutenant of the sixth division.
Once preparations were taking place and the invitations to all of Abarai friends and important acquaintances were delivered dutifully, I returned to my room and changed back into my nightwear. Sleep didn't come nearly as easily for me as it did for Rukia. While her loss pained and exhausted her, I had to recount her nearly passing on before my eyes, over and over again in my mind, torturing myself relentlessly.