The rain wouldn't stop.
Little drops of water bounced off her window pane rapidly, sliding down the screen, making the visions of the skyscrapers blurred and distorted.
It had been like this for five days now. That made it five days since Quinn Fabray had left her cozy, New York City apartment.
Quinn didn't really mind, however. She absolutely hated rain with a passion, but nothing made her happier than putting a fire in the fireplace and a warm cup of Earl Grey in her hands. By staying inside she could have her fire and tea while avoiding the crowded streets of the city where she would be more than likely hit in the head with umbrellas.
She was currently perched up on the cream cushions under her bay window with her knees tucked into her knit sweater. She loved her bay window. It was rare for an apartment in Manhattan to be priced so low and have such a sought-after feature, overlooking much of the city no less. But there was one specific reason Quinn loved that window. Just beyond the end of the street was a theater; a very special theater.
Quinn sipped her tea absentmindedly while she squinted through the rain. She could see the lights flashing, words in bright letters and socialites lined outside the theater and Quinn couldn't help but sigh. She tucked back a stray blonde hair behind her ear and whispered to the theater.
"Happy Birthday, Rachel."
She had this day circled on her calendar for forever. It was the first thing she did when she bought the calendar for the New Year. Twenty-four had been a wonderful birthday for Quinn and she wished the same for Rachel.
She had heard about the starlet's extravagant plans to have a talent showcase for her birthday party from the news. All the biggest and most talented stars were coming to sing and dance and act in honor of Rachel Berry turning twenty-four. It was truly something high school Rachel would have dreamed of having and Quinn watched her many guests arrive from her very own window.
She had always known Rachel would make it. Everyone in McKinley High School knew it; even everyone in Lima, Ohio knew it. It was one of the reasons Rachel had been so heavily bullied during their high school years. People were jealous of the inevitable; jealous that they knew they wouldn't make it like they knew she would.
Quinn remembered first hearing about Rachel's big break on Broadway from Santana, who was rooming with her and Kurt at the time. At the ripe age of nineteen, Rachel Barbra Berry had landed the role of Fanny Brice in the revival of Funny Girl. Quinn had sat in her dorm room at Yale, smiling like an idiot, proud for her friend.
If she would even call them friends now. Quinn and Rachel never did have the best relationship.
Quinn got up from the window, suddenly feeling overwhelmed from her observing. She had barely made it to the kitchen before the first tear fell to the wooden floor.
Why had she been such an idiot? Why on Earth did she let this happen?
They had started to become friends. Things were finally becoming civil between the two of them that last year of high school. Finn was a long-forgotten battle, the white flag waved, and amends were being made. Quinn remembered being so nervous giving Rachel that metro north pass. She had no clue if she would accept it and she nearly jumped around in her skin when she did.
When college began, they talked even more. The two would have a Skype session one day, then maybe a phone call another, with dozens of texts in between. Quinn felt a strange comfortableness whenever she talked to Rachel, one she had never felt with the brunette before. Instead of pushing her away, she wanted to come to her when she needed help or even someone to talk to.
Rachel would inform her on how Broadway and New York and NYADA were going, while Quinn would listen. The blonde had no clue what she was doing with her life; she didn't know where to start. But Rachel was always there for her. She had told her she would find her way and that all she needed to do was let herself.
October 15th, 2013 was a day Quinn would never forget and a memory she would never forgive herself for.
On that windy October day in New Haven, Lucy Quinn Fabray came to a revelation that she couldn't have seen coming even if it was coming toward her flashing bright neon lights.
She was in the middle of a Skype session with Rachel, explaining to her how wonderful New Haven was in the fall and how she should come and visit when it hit Quinn so fast, the wind was nearly knocked out of her.
Her sentence had been left unfinished as she looked so deeply into Rachel's chocolate eyes, a new sensation erupting from her chest that she could not control.
Quinn gazed through her computer screen to her and she knew.
She was in love with Rachel.
"Quinn, are you okay? You kind of spaced out on me..." Rachel voiced, but there was no way she was getting through to the blonde.
"I'm sorry, Rachel I have to go." Quinn shut her computer in a panic.
She didn't want this, she couldn't want this. All her life, Quinn had managed to keep up these walls of hers for the intent of letting anyone know how she felt. She was guarded and this newfound love was breaking down her wall faster than the Berlin. And it scared Quinn. She was scared. After everything that happened in high school: Finn, Puck, Beth, the Skanks, glee club, everything, was flooding back into her mind and began to suffocate her.
After everything she worked towards to regain Rachel's trust and build a friendship would all be ruined if Rachel found out. Not to mention the chances of her returning the feelings were less than slim. Nothing would be the same and it would all be Quinn's fault. She couldn't have another fault in her life; there simply wasn't room for any more.
She couldn't see Rachel anymore.
So, that's what she did. Every call and every text from Rachel was left unanswered. Every email and every letter was left unread and eventually, they just stopped coming. It nearly destroyed Quinn, but she knew she couldn't face Rachel now. Not without her questioning why Quinn was ignoring her. So Quinn told herself it was time to move on. It was time to be alone for a while.
She had graduated Yale with honors at the top of her class. And yet by then, she still felt nothing. She still didn't know where she was going.
She wasn't lost for long, though.
Quinn had become a freelance photographer when she discovered how she loved being behind the camera even more than in front of it.
She traveled the world taking pictures of anything and everything. She found thrill in going somewhere knew, meeting new people and seeing how they lived. She was quite talented at photography. Even without a muse.
She ended up in New York by chance.
Her friend Simone had wanted to create a gallery for her photos; she said that Quinn could make lots of money selling her photographs. Quinn was basically sold on the idea of settling back down before she was told the gallery would be in New York.
Rachel was in New York. And Quinn couldn't see Rachel.
Simone had told her that there was no better place to set up a gallery than New York and Quinn couldn't help but agree, but that didn't stop her worry about running into Rachel.
The first thing Quinn saw upon arriving into the Big Apple was a huge billboard advertising a new musical, starring none other than the famous Rachel Berry. Quinn had nearly thrown up on the sidewalk.
She wasn't just on billboard, but skyscrapers and on buses and taxis, too. It was as if Quinn honestly couldn't escape from Rachel.
Quinn couldn't help herself. Staying away from Rachel could only hide so much guilt and feelings. Ever since arriving in the city, the blonde had followed the brunette's career. She didn't like to think of it as stalking, but more of as admiring. Admiring the past.
Quinn raced from the kitchen and retrieved a small, pink shoebox from underneath her bed and brought it back out with her to the living room. She sat back underneath the bay window and carefully pulled off the lid. Sitting inside were all of Rachel's unopened letters. She didn't know why she was doing this to herself, but she found herself opening the first letter.
January 10, 2014
Quinn,
Where have you been? You haven't answered any of my calls or texts. I miss you…Please, call me when you get this.
Love, Rachel.
June 8, 2014
Quinn,
Is there something I did? I don't get why you aren't talking to me. I thought we worked everything out, we were doing just fine, weren't we? Please, Quinn, I'm starting to worry about you. I need to hear your voice. I need to know you're okay. If I did something wrong please, Quinn, tell me so we can work through it.
Love, Rachel
February 2, 2016
Quinn,
I don't know what happened, but I wouldn't be surprised if you just decided you didn't want to be friends with me anymore. It certainly hasn't be the first time you've given me the cold shoulder, but has definitely hurt the most. I really thought we had something going Quinn, but I guess I was mistaken. I'm sorry I was such a waste of your time that you didn't care enough to give me an explanation about why you haven't talked to me in two years. But wherever you are, I hope you're happy. If you aren't, you know how to find me.
Rachel
Quinn dropped the last of the twenty letters into the box.
She was crying harder now. Her heart ached for Rachel. She needed her. She needed to take the pain away. Hers and Rachel's. She couldn't stand sitting there knowing she was just down the street from her, partying with her friends. She couldn't stay away anymore. She had thought that letting Rachel go would make the feelings go away, but they hadn't. In fact, it only made her want Rachel more.
Without thinking, she grabbed her phone from her lap.
Should she do this? Would she pick up? She was at her party.
No, she needed to try. She desperately needed to hear Rachel's voice.
Quinn dialed the number, praying that it still worked. Her wet, hazel eyes were locked on the bright theater, hoping she picked up. Please, pick up.
On the seventh ring she heard it. She was soft and high and just the thing she needed to hear.
"Hello?"
Quinn smiled at the theater, knowing Rachel was in there talking on the phone to her, probably surrounded by all her famous friends.
A deep breath.
"Hi, Rachel. It's me, Quinn…Quinn Fabray."
The girl on the other end paused, no doubt surprised to hear from her after five years of silence.
"Quinn?"
Quinn nodded, new tears falling freely, but her smile never faded.
"Yes, Happy Birthday Rachel," her eyes gazing at the theater, "I'm so sorry."