Hades sighed as he approached the gates of Olympus. He didn't want to be here. However, if he wanted to get what he wanted, he had to talk to his brother.
Hermes eyed the god of the Underworld suspiciously before flying off to alert the other gods. Slowly, the gates were opened, and he was escorted by several gods to where Zeus was waiting.
"Greetings, Brother," Zeus said, "What brings you to Olympus? Not plans for overthrowing me, I hope."
Hades flashed Zeus a fake smile. "Nope, not this time, babe. However, there's a little matter I need to discuss with you."
"What is it?" Zeus asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, it's like this: as you may or may not know, running the Underworld is a big job. There's dead people coming in, some trying to get out, people wanting to trade their souls for something, ya know, that type of thing. And uh, I was wondering if I could get some help from a demigod or two up here. Lord of the Underworld isn't an easy job, ya know."
"What about your two imps?"
"They aren't smart enough to do anything."
Zeus smiled. "So, what you're saying is - you need help doing your job?"
"More or less, yeah," Hades replied slowly. He knew from the look on his brother's face that he was up to something.
"Well, I have the answer to your problem. You should choose a wife."
Hades' fake smile dropped. "You're kidding, right?"
"Not at all. In fact, I command you to find a bride by the end of this month, or I will have you cast out if the Underworld, and in where the Titans used to be held. You've caused a lot of trouble, Hades. And I have every reason to have your position taken away."
Hades frowned. "Okay, fine. I deserve that. But why do I have to get married as a punishment?"
"Poseidon and I both have wives, and we both run our kingdoms just fine."
"And that's your reasoning for this?" Hades raised an eyebrow. His brother was losing it.
"Yes."
"So, what you're telling me is I have to choose a wife from the group up here?"
The goddesses watching the exchange all went wide-eyed and slowly started backing away from the god of the Underworld.
Zeus shrugged. "Either that or a mortal."
"Mortal? But mortal women are so . . . well, they're mortal. And, if you didn't know this, that means they die. But you see, -I- am immortal. So, we have a little problem here."
"At the wedding ceremony, I can have her turned into a goddess."
Hades was running out of excuses. "Yeah, but, uh, hey! Why couldn't you do that for Hercules' girlfriend Megara?"
"They have not yet chosen to get married. I am planning to do that when they do. Now, Hades, you will pick a bride. And that is my final word on the matter."
"But-"
"No buts. This conversation is through."
Hades was escorted out while Zeus looked on. Hera approached him.
"Why on earth did you command Hades to be married?"
Zeus smiled at his lovely wife and pulled her close. "A woman might change his evil nature. After all, love works in mysterious ways."
-----------------------------
Foot of Mount Olympus
-----------------------------
Fire erupted as Hades took out his anger on a tree. "I can't believe this! I just can't believe this!" The large tree was reduced to cinders in a split second. "Zeus has really out-done himself this time!" As he made his way to where he had put his chariot, he heard splashing in the nearby lake. Silently he glided towards the lake, parting some bushes to get a clear view of the water.
A young woman was being attacked by a huge centaur. She struggled to get up on the shore and jumped to a low-hanging branch of a tree. With long, brown hair flying out behind her, she quickly climbed higher until the leaves covered her completely. The centaur snarled widely and started bucking at the tree.
Hades watched with interest for a while and then decided to go. "Well, there goes one more soul into the Styx that I'll have to do the paperwork on." He had almost reached his chariot when a loud crack was heard from above, and something fell from the trees. A body hit the ground and rolled to a stop in front of his feet. The god recognized the body to belong to the girl from the lake. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around. When she noticed Hades looking down at her, she gasped and backed away from him.
"I'm sorry," she muttered as she got to her feet.
Hades looked at her in shock. "How . . . how did you fall out of a tree that tall." he pointed to the tree above them, "and not break any bones?"
"You just have to know how to land. I've had a lot of practice."
"And that didn't hurt you at all?"
"No, it hurt," she corrected him, gently rubbing one of the bruises forming on her arm, "But at least I didn't break anything."
A crash a little ways off startled them both. The girl started to back away nervously. "Well, I'd better go." She untied a small sack from her hip and poured out its contents into her other hand. "This should be enough to feed me for a whole month." she said happily as she poured the coins back into the bag. "I didn't know centaurs carried this much money."
A plan began forming in Hades' head. "Hey, how'd you like to be ensured a meal three times a day for life?"
She eyed him suspiciously. "What's the catch?"
"No catch, babe. No catch. You'd just do a few jobs for me here and there."
"My name's Andromoda, not Babe. And what you're saying is that I'd be one of your little henchmen?"
"Sort-of. But, how would you like to be more than a henchwench? Something much better?"
"What did you have in mind?"
--------------------
The Underworld
--------------------
Hades helped Andromoda into the boat, and motioned for the Charon to row them across the Styx. The girl had been overwhelmed when he asked her to be his wife. However, after the shock had warn off, she had immediately wanted to know why he had asked her. It was then Hades realized she wasn't as dense as a normal mortal. He had explained to her the whole deal - she would pretty much just be one of his employees until one of the gods or goddesses dropped by.
Hades smiled to himself as the boat passed by a large dark cavern. A giant, black three-headed dog jumped out of the shadows, and Andromoda shrieked, cowering in the back of the boat.
Hades grinned back at her. "Oh, did Cerebrus scare you?" he teased.
Andromoda slowly regained her wits, and glared at Hades. "You could have told me you have a giant, man-eating guard dog before he almost bit my head off!" she said, sitting up a little straighter.
Hades laughed. "It's more fun this way!"
As the boat pulled into the shore, the god helped Andromoda out. "Pain? Panic?" His shouts echoed through the caverns. Two small creatures appeared shortly after. They ran towards the god, tripping all over themselves.
"Yes sir!" they both said.
Hades sighed. "This is our queen-to-be, Andromoda."
The teal creature cocked his head and wrinkled his nose as he looked Andromoda up and down.
"Her?" the chubby creature asked, raising an eye ridge.
"Is there a problem with that?" Hades asked, glaring down at the imps. They both muttered negative answers. "Anyway," Hades started, glancing at the girl and then back to his minions, "you two give her the tour. I'll be back. I hafta give Zeus the good news."
As Hades left, the teal imp flew up to be eye-level with Andromoda.
"I'm Panic, and that's Pain," he motioned to his friend.
The purple imp waddled along beside Andromoda. "Walk this way, toots. We'll give ya the tour."
Andromoda smiled, as she followed the imps around the Underworld.
...................................................................LATER...........................................................
"And this is the throne room," Pain concluded, unenthused. "There's the throne, the table, the window, and all that other stuff."
"So, this is the Underworld." Andromoda sighed, following the imps into the room. "It's not as bad as I heard it was." Just then a soul came flying through a circular hole in the ceiling. Andromoda ducked behind the throne as it floated past her and into the Styx. "Okay, that is going to take some getting used to." Walking around to the front of Hades' throne, Andromoda casually plopped down into it.
Pain and Panic gasped simultaneously.
"What?" she asked.
Panic pointed to where she was sitting. "You're in Hades' chair!"
"So?"
"So, he's gonna toast you!" whimpered Pain.
Andromoda shrugged. "Hey, I'm going to be the queen of this place in a few days or months or whatever. Old 'Fireboy' is gonna have to tolerate somebody else living here." With that said, Andromoda stood up, and walked over to the window. "Hey, guys. Want to take a ride in that boat with me?"
The two imps shuddered. "You are going to get in a lot of trouble!" Panic whimpered.
Andromoda shrugged. "Hades told you to give me the tour. I want to ride in the boat. I'm going with or without you.
Pain and Panic reluctantly followed her down the stairs to where the boat was waiting. She frowned when she saw that Charon was still standing in it.
"Oh, Charon?" she said sweetly, "Um, Hades said that he wanted you to report to his throne room. He needs to talk to you about something urgent."
"But didn't he just leave?" the old skeleton asked, scratching his head in confusion.
"Um, yes, but . . . he left something important in the throne room that he wanted you to see."
The skeleton regarded her skeptically, but got out of the boat and made his way up the stairs. When he was out of sight, Andromoda climbed down to where he had left the boat. "Come on, guys!" she said as the boarded. Panic cautiously flew down and sat beside her, while Pain stood on shore. "Oh, come on, Pain," Andromoda pleaded. "Come join the adventure!"
Pain reluctantly flew down beside them.
"Okay, here we go!" announced the girl. She picked up the paddle that was laying in the bottom of the boat and stuck in into the water. "Let's have some fun!"
--------------
Mt. Olympus
--------------
Zeus smiled as his brother approached. "Have you found a bride all ready?"
Hades nodded. "Yeah. I got one."
"Great! We'll have the ceremony in two days."
"T . . . Two days?" Hades choked. "Isn't that a little soon?"
"Nonsense. Two days is plenty of time. Now, what is the name of your lovely bride-to-be?"
Hades sighed. Things kept getting worse. "Andromoda," he muttered.
Zeus frowned slightly.
"What? You know her?"
Zeus crossed his arms. "I know who she is. Are you sure you made the right choice?"
Hades raised an eye ridge. "Why? What'd she do?"
"What hasn't she done? She has stolen from my temple, refuses to pray to me, made a mockery of my name-"
"Oh, really?" Hades chuckled. The girl had really meant it when she had told him that she didn't care for Zeus. "Well, I think I have made the perfect choice."
Zeus shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy. But be warned. She's a troublemaker."
--------------
Underworld
--------------
"Woo-hoo!" Andromoda shouted as the boat sped through the Styx.
Pain and Panic, who had at first hidden in the back, where now hanging onto the front of the boat.
"Faster! faster!" yelled Pain.
Andromoda grinned as she began to paddle them faster. She then set the paddle down, and stood up in the boat, spreading her arms. "I'm flying!"
All of a sudden, a loud gong sounded. Pain and Panic gasped.
"What was that?" Andromoda asked as the boat coasted to a stop.
Panic dove behind the girl. "It's Hades! He's back! And he's calling for a ride!"
Andromoda looked towards the entrance of the Underworld. "Well, we'll give him a ride," she said.
With that, she turned the boat around and started paddling towards the entrance. The three-headed dog, who Hades had called Cerebrus, watched her pass. Ann felt more than a little nervous passing the great beast. Andromoda smiled as she neared the shore. Hades stood there, glaring at her.
"What are you doing? Where is Charon?"
Ann grinned. "I ditched him. The boys and I wanted to go for a little ride."
The two imps cowered behind her as Hades glared at them.
"Can't you keep her out of trouble for half an hour?!" he bellowed.
Andromoda frowned. "They couldn't have stopped me. Besides, I didn't hurt anything. We just rowed back and forth on the river."
Hades sighed, wondering if Zeus had been right about her. "Fine. Do you think you can manage to get me across without tipping us over?"
Ann nodded as the god climbed into the boat. She began rowing slowly. When they passed Cerebrus, she began to row faster. She grinned as Hades glared at her.
"Slow down," he commanded.
Andromoda smiled wickedly. "Whatever you say, oh mighty Hades." She stuck the pole in the river, stopping them suddenly. Hades, not prepared to make such a quick stop, fell forwards, almost causing the boat to tip. Ann laughed as the god of the Underworld struggled to stand up again.
"What in the name of all the gods and goddesses are you doing?!" he shouted, as fire erupted from his head and shoulders.
Ann smiled innocently. "Oops. Sorry."
When they reached the shore, Charon was waiting for them. Hades got off the boat, dragging Andromoda by her wrist.
"Return to your post," he barked at the skeleton. Hades then pulled Ann up the stairs. He released her and turned to go to the throne room. "Pain, Panic, take her to her new quarters to get washed up."
The girl sheepishly peeked into the throne room. "I'm sorry - about the boat, that is. I didn't mean to -"
Hades dismissed her explanation with a wave of his hand. "Yeah, whatever, babe. Just go get cleaned up. The wedding is in two days."
"Two days?"
Hades nodded, and motioned for her to leave. He then sat wearily on his throne. This girl was already causing him trouble and she had just gotten here. Maybe she wasn't the best choice of a wife after all.
Hermes eyed the god of the Underworld suspiciously before flying off to alert the other gods. Slowly, the gates were opened, and he was escorted by several gods to where Zeus was waiting.
"Greetings, Brother," Zeus said, "What brings you to Olympus? Not plans for overthrowing me, I hope."
Hades flashed Zeus a fake smile. "Nope, not this time, babe. However, there's a little matter I need to discuss with you."
"What is it?" Zeus asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, it's like this: as you may or may not know, running the Underworld is a big job. There's dead people coming in, some trying to get out, people wanting to trade their souls for something, ya know, that type of thing. And uh, I was wondering if I could get some help from a demigod or two up here. Lord of the Underworld isn't an easy job, ya know."
"What about your two imps?"
"They aren't smart enough to do anything."
Zeus smiled. "So, what you're saying is - you need help doing your job?"
"More or less, yeah," Hades replied slowly. He knew from the look on his brother's face that he was up to something.
"Well, I have the answer to your problem. You should choose a wife."
Hades' fake smile dropped. "You're kidding, right?"
"Not at all. In fact, I command you to find a bride by the end of this month, or I will have you cast out if the Underworld, and in where the Titans used to be held. You've caused a lot of trouble, Hades. And I have every reason to have your position taken away."
Hades frowned. "Okay, fine. I deserve that. But why do I have to get married as a punishment?"
"Poseidon and I both have wives, and we both run our kingdoms just fine."
"And that's your reasoning for this?" Hades raised an eyebrow. His brother was losing it.
"Yes."
"So, what you're telling me is I have to choose a wife from the group up here?"
The goddesses watching the exchange all went wide-eyed and slowly started backing away from the god of the Underworld.
Zeus shrugged. "Either that or a mortal."
"Mortal? But mortal women are so . . . well, they're mortal. And, if you didn't know this, that means they die. But you see, -I- am immortal. So, we have a little problem here."
"At the wedding ceremony, I can have her turned into a goddess."
Hades was running out of excuses. "Yeah, but, uh, hey! Why couldn't you do that for Hercules' girlfriend Megara?"
"They have not yet chosen to get married. I am planning to do that when they do. Now, Hades, you will pick a bride. And that is my final word on the matter."
"But-"
"No buts. This conversation is through."
Hades was escorted out while Zeus looked on. Hera approached him.
"Why on earth did you command Hades to be married?"
Zeus smiled at his lovely wife and pulled her close. "A woman might change his evil nature. After all, love works in mysterious ways."
-----------------------------
Foot of Mount Olympus
-----------------------------
Fire erupted as Hades took out his anger on a tree. "I can't believe this! I just can't believe this!" The large tree was reduced to cinders in a split second. "Zeus has really out-done himself this time!" As he made his way to where he had put his chariot, he heard splashing in the nearby lake. Silently he glided towards the lake, parting some bushes to get a clear view of the water.
A young woman was being attacked by a huge centaur. She struggled to get up on the shore and jumped to a low-hanging branch of a tree. With long, brown hair flying out behind her, she quickly climbed higher until the leaves covered her completely. The centaur snarled widely and started bucking at the tree.
Hades watched with interest for a while and then decided to go. "Well, there goes one more soul into the Styx that I'll have to do the paperwork on." He had almost reached his chariot when a loud crack was heard from above, and something fell from the trees. A body hit the ground and rolled to a stop in front of his feet. The god recognized the body to belong to the girl from the lake. She slowly opened her eyes and looked around. When she noticed Hades looking down at her, she gasped and backed away from him.
"I'm sorry," she muttered as she got to her feet.
Hades looked at her in shock. "How . . . how did you fall out of a tree that tall." he pointed to the tree above them, "and not break any bones?"
"You just have to know how to land. I've had a lot of practice."
"And that didn't hurt you at all?"
"No, it hurt," she corrected him, gently rubbing one of the bruises forming on her arm, "But at least I didn't break anything."
A crash a little ways off startled them both. The girl started to back away nervously. "Well, I'd better go." She untied a small sack from her hip and poured out its contents into her other hand. "This should be enough to feed me for a whole month." she said happily as she poured the coins back into the bag. "I didn't know centaurs carried this much money."
A plan began forming in Hades' head. "Hey, how'd you like to be ensured a meal three times a day for life?"
She eyed him suspiciously. "What's the catch?"
"No catch, babe. No catch. You'd just do a few jobs for me here and there."
"My name's Andromoda, not Babe. And what you're saying is that I'd be one of your little henchmen?"
"Sort-of. But, how would you like to be more than a henchwench? Something much better?"
"What did you have in mind?"
--------------------
The Underworld
--------------------
Hades helped Andromoda into the boat, and motioned for the Charon to row them across the Styx. The girl had been overwhelmed when he asked her to be his wife. However, after the shock had warn off, she had immediately wanted to know why he had asked her. It was then Hades realized she wasn't as dense as a normal mortal. He had explained to her the whole deal - she would pretty much just be one of his employees until one of the gods or goddesses dropped by.
Hades smiled to himself as the boat passed by a large dark cavern. A giant, black three-headed dog jumped out of the shadows, and Andromoda shrieked, cowering in the back of the boat.
Hades grinned back at her. "Oh, did Cerebrus scare you?" he teased.
Andromoda slowly regained her wits, and glared at Hades. "You could have told me you have a giant, man-eating guard dog before he almost bit my head off!" she said, sitting up a little straighter.
Hades laughed. "It's more fun this way!"
As the boat pulled into the shore, the god helped Andromoda out. "Pain? Panic?" His shouts echoed through the caverns. Two small creatures appeared shortly after. They ran towards the god, tripping all over themselves.
"Yes sir!" they both said.
Hades sighed. "This is our queen-to-be, Andromoda."
The teal creature cocked his head and wrinkled his nose as he looked Andromoda up and down.
"Her?" the chubby creature asked, raising an eye ridge.
"Is there a problem with that?" Hades asked, glaring down at the imps. They both muttered negative answers. "Anyway," Hades started, glancing at the girl and then back to his minions, "you two give her the tour. I'll be back. I hafta give Zeus the good news."
As Hades left, the teal imp flew up to be eye-level with Andromoda.
"I'm Panic, and that's Pain," he motioned to his friend.
The purple imp waddled along beside Andromoda. "Walk this way, toots. We'll give ya the tour."
Andromoda smiled, as she followed the imps around the Underworld.
...................................................................LATER...........................................................
"And this is the throne room," Pain concluded, unenthused. "There's the throne, the table, the window, and all that other stuff."
"So, this is the Underworld." Andromoda sighed, following the imps into the room. "It's not as bad as I heard it was." Just then a soul came flying through a circular hole in the ceiling. Andromoda ducked behind the throne as it floated past her and into the Styx. "Okay, that is going to take some getting used to." Walking around to the front of Hades' throne, Andromoda casually plopped down into it.
Pain and Panic gasped simultaneously.
"What?" she asked.
Panic pointed to where she was sitting. "You're in Hades' chair!"
"So?"
"So, he's gonna toast you!" whimpered Pain.
Andromoda shrugged. "Hey, I'm going to be the queen of this place in a few days or months or whatever. Old 'Fireboy' is gonna have to tolerate somebody else living here." With that said, Andromoda stood up, and walked over to the window. "Hey, guys. Want to take a ride in that boat with me?"
The two imps shuddered. "You are going to get in a lot of trouble!" Panic whimpered.
Andromoda shrugged. "Hades told you to give me the tour. I want to ride in the boat. I'm going with or without you.
Pain and Panic reluctantly followed her down the stairs to where the boat was waiting. She frowned when she saw that Charon was still standing in it.
"Oh, Charon?" she said sweetly, "Um, Hades said that he wanted you to report to his throne room. He needs to talk to you about something urgent."
"But didn't he just leave?" the old skeleton asked, scratching his head in confusion.
"Um, yes, but . . . he left something important in the throne room that he wanted you to see."
The skeleton regarded her skeptically, but got out of the boat and made his way up the stairs. When he was out of sight, Andromoda climbed down to where he had left the boat. "Come on, guys!" she said as the boarded. Panic cautiously flew down and sat beside her, while Pain stood on shore. "Oh, come on, Pain," Andromoda pleaded. "Come join the adventure!"
Pain reluctantly flew down beside them.
"Okay, here we go!" announced the girl. She picked up the paddle that was laying in the bottom of the boat and stuck in into the water. "Let's have some fun!"
--------------
Mt. Olympus
--------------
Zeus smiled as his brother approached. "Have you found a bride all ready?"
Hades nodded. "Yeah. I got one."
"Great! We'll have the ceremony in two days."
"T . . . Two days?" Hades choked. "Isn't that a little soon?"
"Nonsense. Two days is plenty of time. Now, what is the name of your lovely bride-to-be?"
Hades sighed. Things kept getting worse. "Andromoda," he muttered.
Zeus frowned slightly.
"What? You know her?"
Zeus crossed his arms. "I know who she is. Are you sure you made the right choice?"
Hades raised an eye ridge. "Why? What'd she do?"
"What hasn't she done? She has stolen from my temple, refuses to pray to me, made a mockery of my name-"
"Oh, really?" Hades chuckled. The girl had really meant it when she had told him that she didn't care for Zeus. "Well, I think I have made the perfect choice."
Zeus shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy. But be warned. She's a troublemaker."
--------------
Underworld
--------------
"Woo-hoo!" Andromoda shouted as the boat sped through the Styx.
Pain and Panic, who had at first hidden in the back, where now hanging onto the front of the boat.
"Faster! faster!" yelled Pain.
Andromoda grinned as she began to paddle them faster. She then set the paddle down, and stood up in the boat, spreading her arms. "I'm flying!"
All of a sudden, a loud gong sounded. Pain and Panic gasped.
"What was that?" Andromoda asked as the boat coasted to a stop.
Panic dove behind the girl. "It's Hades! He's back! And he's calling for a ride!"
Andromoda looked towards the entrance of the Underworld. "Well, we'll give him a ride," she said.
With that, she turned the boat around and started paddling towards the entrance. The three-headed dog, who Hades had called Cerebrus, watched her pass. Ann felt more than a little nervous passing the great beast. Andromoda smiled as she neared the shore. Hades stood there, glaring at her.
"What are you doing? Where is Charon?"
Ann grinned. "I ditched him. The boys and I wanted to go for a little ride."
The two imps cowered behind her as Hades glared at them.
"Can't you keep her out of trouble for half an hour?!" he bellowed.
Andromoda frowned. "They couldn't have stopped me. Besides, I didn't hurt anything. We just rowed back and forth on the river."
Hades sighed, wondering if Zeus had been right about her. "Fine. Do you think you can manage to get me across without tipping us over?"
Ann nodded as the god climbed into the boat. She began rowing slowly. When they passed Cerebrus, she began to row faster. She grinned as Hades glared at her.
"Slow down," he commanded.
Andromoda smiled wickedly. "Whatever you say, oh mighty Hades." She stuck the pole in the river, stopping them suddenly. Hades, not prepared to make such a quick stop, fell forwards, almost causing the boat to tip. Ann laughed as the god of the Underworld struggled to stand up again.
"What in the name of all the gods and goddesses are you doing?!" he shouted, as fire erupted from his head and shoulders.
Ann smiled innocently. "Oops. Sorry."
When they reached the shore, Charon was waiting for them. Hades got off the boat, dragging Andromoda by her wrist.
"Return to your post," he barked at the skeleton. Hades then pulled Ann up the stairs. He released her and turned to go to the throne room. "Pain, Panic, take her to her new quarters to get washed up."
The girl sheepishly peeked into the throne room. "I'm sorry - about the boat, that is. I didn't mean to -"
Hades dismissed her explanation with a wave of his hand. "Yeah, whatever, babe. Just go get cleaned up. The wedding is in two days."
"Two days?"
Hades nodded, and motioned for her to leave. He then sat wearily on his throne. This girl was already causing him trouble and she had just gotten here. Maybe she wasn't the best choice of a wife after all.