Princess Bubblegum was usually a kind, benevolent, and sweet person. Sometimes, however, she had days in which she was upset about something. During these days the residence of the Candy Kingdom knew better than to bug the princess. When the castle staff saw her race through the door, and to her room, they looked concerned, but did nothing.

When Princess Bubblegum had arrived at her location, she kicked the door opened, and ran to her bed, flopping down on it. She pulled out her diary, opened it to a certain page, and begin writing.

Finn+Love = Flame Princess.

"Oh Glob, I thought I'd be ready for this!" she cried.

Princess Bubblegum believed that Finn and Flame Princess shouldn't be together. It had nothing to do with the fact that she liked him in a romantic way. (She didn't); or the fact that if Flame Princess experienced an epic romance she would burn the Earth.

No, the reason for PB's tears was because she was in love with Flame Princess! She had been in love with Flame Princess ever since she heard about her escape. Every night she would make plans on how to capture the fire elemental, but every night she wound up masturbating as she stared into a fire.

"Oh Flame Princess! Why do you have to be with Finn? I want you. You should be mine!" she sobbed."

"Who should be with you?"

Princess Bubblegum recognized the voice, and glared. "Marceline, what are you doing here?" she asked angrily.

Marceline chuckled and floated over to the princess. "I came by to act like a creep," Marceline said with a smile.

PB rolled her eyes, and folded her arms just below her chest. "At least you're being honest. Now please leave!"

Of course the vampire didn't leave, because she never did anything the princess requested. "I'm sorry Bonnie, I was just teasing you," she confessed as she reached to touch the other girl's face.

Surprisingly, PB didn't back away from the touch, but instead dipped her head into Marceline's hand. "Oh Marceline, I don't know what to do! Finn's going out with Flame Princess, and I'm nervous."

"Oh, right, something about how she can't handle twu wuv, or some crap," Marceline replied with scoff.

"For your information, Marceline, if Flame Princess were to experience deep romantic love, she would burn so hot that she would fall through the earth, and bounce up and down like yo-yo, and burn the world from the inside!" PB exclaimed obviously exasperated.

Marceline rolled her eyes. "Right, so you had your father lock her up in a jar. Ugh, when I have children remind me never to tell you."

The princess looked confused. "Marceline, I don't think, can you even have children?"

"Bonnie, I'm a vampire who eats the color red. I'm also technically half-demon/vampire; plus a few other things that make no sense in vampire lore. I think I could have a child, but ugh! Why am I even talking about this with you?" she finished with a growl.

"Marceline?" PB questioned with concern.

The vampire growled, "I'm going home to masturbate."

This admission shocked PB. Most of the time Marceline tried to get into her pants. This shocked PB, and also made her a bit sad. "Marceline, do you want to... I mean, it would be distasteful, but ummm,"

A grin appeared on Marceline's face. "Love is never distasteful," she said lovingly as she kissed PB.

The two then had sex. Meanwhile, Finn and Flame Princess were getting ready to kiss. Their lips met, and they kissed each other. Flame Princess became so hot that she fell through the earth, then she burst into a mega flame, and burned the Earth from the inside.

And everyone died happily ever after.

The End.