CH 1: Welcome to the Canyons/ Cainville
The sun was finally setting in the valley, making the red hills glow; it had reached well over 100* that day, so the air, still hot and sticky, had not yet relinquished its hold on the small town. It was a Friday night so the local bar, the Luna Mesa, harbored all of the whores and dealers after their long day; there were no respectable people here.
I sat at the bar, poured myself a whiskey and waiting for some sort of entertainment, typically in the form of a bar brawl; hell, some nights one of the local whores would drop to her knees and entertain a whole line of men before passing out. I was 28 and had moved to the small town nestled in the center of the badlands of Utah about a month ago, at the request of my 'uncle' Walter. Walter and my step-dad had been close friends up to my parents' death 8 weeks ago; I was left alone in Austin, Texas, finishing up my degree and dealing with my parents' deaths. I had two brothers, but I stayed away from them- they had both abused me when I was younger, tying me up and making me watch them jack off, suck their dicks, or rape my girlfriends; they had been kicked out by their mother after I finally divorced their father, the man responsible for teaching his boys how to…be men. My brothers were now scattered somewhere in the US, no doubt drugged out of their minds and responsible for many more rapes and probably a couple of murders by now. I was alone in the world, but I liked it that way, the abuse I went through made me strong and unwilling to take anyone's shit.
The smoke in the bar drifted lazily by me head as the people got louder and louder. I fiddled with the empty whiskey glass and watched the people becoming more and more drunk as Walter served them their drinks. I had adjusted to this place quickly, and I enjoyed my job, the night bartender, using my psychology skills to coax people in to drinking more than they ordinarily would. Tonight I had come in before my shift; just to drink a couple of shots and get a feel for what the night would hold. Walter refilled my glass and I smiled out of the corner of my mouth and closed my eyes letting the alcohol do its job.
My graduation day was in early June, in Texas this meant that it was far too hot, so when I put the graduation gown on over my shorts and tank top, I was already sweating. Before my parents died, I was in the running for valedictorian, but that goal faded quickly as I let my grades drop little by little. When I walked across the stage, I expected only a couple of claps, mostly from my friends or teachers who had been helping me through the ordeal, so I was surprised when I heard my name being shouted and a mass applause as I took my diploma; I now held a bachelor's degree in psychology. I smiled simply as I crossed the rest of the stage and wandered down the steps toward the parking lot, I had no desire to throw my cap or mingle with anyone; my parents had been so excited to see me walk, so that is who I did it for, their spirits…or whatever. As I reached my car I saw a man leaning against it, smiling and clapping lightly.
"Congratulations, Kate. They'd be so proud of you" Knowing he meant my parents, I eyed him, he was familiar, but I was cautious.
"Yeah, how the fuck do you know?" I spat- my temper always raging.
"I'm Walter; I was a friend of your Dad's" he said. He had a look of sadness in his eyes, pity.
"Ok then" I said simply, passing him to get to the driver's side door.
"I received a letter from your Dad's lawyer." he said, following me.
I stopped and looked at him, glaring- my default facial expression. "And?"
"He wanted me to take care of you…should anything happen to him or your mother"
"I don't need anyone to take care of me"
"Might be good to come on out and take a break from the city"
"I don't need a break" I slid in to the car and slammed the door shut.
"You used to love it out there" he said though the closed window.
I sighed and rolled the window down, taking the bait.
"Out where?" I asked- my curiosity piqued.
"Out in the desert, the red canyons in Utah. You used to play out in the canyons for hours, ya played with my son, Mac."
God I did know him, and Mac…man I had a thing for him back when they were younger.
"Hmmph" I said not wanting to give away interest.
"I have a place for you to live, and I have a job iffin' ya want it." He said, eying me.
"Like I said man, I don't need to be taken care of". I rolled my window up, started the car and back out, watching him in my rear-view window as I left.
When I got home to my small little flat just outside the city, I ripped off the gown and stuffed it in the garbage can in front of the garage before walking in; the house was musty and confining.
"Fuck!" I shouted, knowing the damn air conditioner had pissed out again. I walked to the fridge to get out a cold beer to help cool me off and relax me from the strange encounter. I pulled the fridge door open and sighed…the light didn't come on and it was barely cold inside.
"FUCK!" I said louder.
"Kate- That you?" a voice came from the bedroom. I slammed the door shut and walked back to the bedroom door; it was closed and locked.
"Ryan? I thought you had to work" we had been dating for 6 years, but things were strained since…the accident. I jiggled the knob.
"Open up, what are you doing?"
"Hang on…I just…I'm not dressed" he shouted back
I could hear rustling and two distinct voices, one was Ryan's, and the other was a woman's.
"Ryan, open the fucking door, you cheating prick" I had suspicions, but never thought he would actually be dumb enough to prove me right. I threw my shoulder in to the door and after a few times it gave. The girl was in the middle of pulling on her shirt, and Ryan was opening the window for her to climb out.
"Really? This is what you do Ryan?" I was furious.
"Kate…it doesn't mean anything" He said pleading. The girl looked at him, hurt.
"You couldn't keep it in your pants, Ryan, you had to find a fucking whore and fuck her in MY bed, in MY house." I was throwing things now, aiming for his head. I looked at the girl, still messing with a button that was stuck in her hair. Walking over to her, I ripped the shirt out of her hair, causing her to cry out.
"Get the fuck out of my house you little cunt." The girl ran out without her shoes, clutching her head where the hair had been ripped out.
"Kate…" Ryan said calmly. I knew he was going to try to charm me in to forgiveness; before the accident I would have fallen for it, but this was too much. I slapped his out stretched hand and turned to grab the lamp from the dresser by the door. Before I had even decided what I wanted to do with it, it was breaking around his head. He had cried out and fell to the floor; I stood over his motionless body and kicked him in the stomach as hard as I could, then ran from the house, tears stinging my eyes. When I got out to my car, I realized I'd left my keys inside, but I was not going back in to retrieve them.
"Fuck him, fuck it all" I spat to herself. I had burned so many bridges of late that I had nowhere to go, no place to feel safe. I couldn't really place why I was so angry all the time, I had no defining reason, I only knew that it was consuming me. Most of the people I knew had stopped calling or coming over after I had made it clear I was not going to therapy.
"I'm a fucking psychologist; I don't need the bullshit from another shrink!" I knew most psychologists saw other psychologists, but that wasn't the point.
I climbed into my car, knowing that I couldn't leave, but needing a familiar place to think. I closed my eyes tightly and pounded my hands on the steering wheel. My heart was racing and I was crying, unable to believe what I had witnessed.
He missed my graduation so he could fuck that girl
There was a rap on the window and I jumped, expecting Ryan and a fight, but it was Walter. He had the same serene look on his face and he simply stood there, outside my window, waiting for me to accept him.
I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my eyes, and rolled the window down. Walter bent down and rested his arms on the door panel; I could smell cigarettes and whiskey, and something else I couldn't place.
"You ready to come home, girl?" he asked. I dropped my head, knowing I had no other choice.
"Yes" was all I said.
The next day they were in the Luna Mesa and he was teaching me how to mix drinks and showing me around the bar.