Forgotten Prayers

Ryuji and Izumo slept soundly in their bed.

Sunlight peaked between the blinds. The twinkles of yellow light hit Ryuji's closed eyes; Ryuji's eyelids shut more before they released. His eyes blinked a couple of times so he could retain his vision. He quickly noticed something gently wrapped around his body and it wasn't the blanket.

Ryuji looked over to see a comforted Izumo at his side with her arm wrapped around his chest. He smiled slightly. It was the first time in what seemed like centuries that he seen something other than sorrow and failure written on her face.

Still there was a hole in his heart which was far from being filled. He needed to go to the main temple for his daily prayers. It was one of few things he could find some serenity in these days. He careful placed Izumo's hand down on the bed.

His feet dropped to the ground, sitting up on the edge of the bed. He stood up to take his first step toward the door. The floor cricked.

Izumo's eyes partly opened like red half moons, searching for light to polish them. It only took her a moment to slowly gather herself. Her long grape color hair fell all around her. She gazed up to face Ryuji's back.

"Ryuji," she said in a daze. She wiped the sleep from one eye. "Where are you going?"

Ryuji gazed back at his love. "To the temple," he started. He hoped Izumo would have slept for a few more hours. Just enough time to give him more time to finish some things. "I have to take care of a few things."

Izumo lowered her head down, hiding her eyes in the shadows of her bangs. "Do you have to go today?"

"Yeah," he barely spoke. Ryuji turned back around and took another step when he felt Izumo grab his right arm on the back swing. "Hmm." He looked back at her again. "Izumo, I need to go."

A single tear ran down the woman's face. The solitary droplet fell on their blanket. "Please…don't leave me here alone."

"Izumo." Her hand trembled against his solid arm. Ryuji turned to face her. He understood his wife's sadden demeanor as of the past three weeks. They were so excited about having their first child when Izumo had had a miscarriage just four months in. It sunk the hearts of all of their friends, but even more them.

Though Ryuji was tough he couldn't help crying like a lost infant the entire night it happened. Izumo couldn't get out of bed. She didn't want to eat anything the monks or priest brought her. It took Ryuji everything he had to convince her to take the tiniest bites.

Izumo lifted her head. Her eyes filled with tears and her lips sucked in. "I can't…" Her head lowered again. "I can't be alone right now…Ryuji."

Ryuji narrowed his eyes slightly in his own grief. He really wanted to pray, ask for guidance and for knowledge on what to do. He needed to mediate; recite the words of Buddha that the word is filled with suffering and that happiness didn't last forever, that the world itself would caused one's suffering.

He needed to do all these things. They were important not just for him now being the Head Monk of the temple, but his being as a person. He didn't want to feel anything. That this was just another part of life and that their precious child would be reborn to a couple that would love it as much as they would have. There child would have been good he knew that much. She or he was growing inside of Izumo after all. Sure she was difficult in her teenage years, but that all changed once they married five years ago.

He also wanted to get away from Izumo. He didn't want to see her tears anymore or hold her weakened trembling body. He didn't want to hear her blame herself for the lost they both shared. He couldn't stand the sight of her starving herself. All of this was too much for even him to bear.

Why couldn't the gods have shined brightly on their hopes and dreams? Why did they crush them like they were the devil himself? None of it made any sense. He had studied all the holy texts and memorized most of them from every great religion. Was it for some unforeseen glory? Was it a message that couldn't be understood by humans? Did they somehow forsake the heavens?

There were two things Ryuji knew for certain. His love for his wife and that the heavens had helped them both through difficult times before. So he truly thought he should pray. "Izumo," he said her name as sweetly as he could.

Her hand fell from his arm. Ryuji wrapped his arms around her tender weakened body as he placed his hand on the back of her head to stop her tears. Izumo's chin rested on his shoulder. "I won't leave your side. I'll stay as long as you need me. I swear."

He swore to any God or Buddha that would hear this single promise. He could pray in silence; he did not need an idol for that. Ryuji lied them both back into the bed so Izumo could sleep. His eyes stayed on her the entire time, forgetting to pray. All he did was simply brush her hair back.

Izumo smiled.

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