WORDS
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Law and Order related. I'm not even related to anyone who does own anything Law and Order related. This is just for fun.
This takes place some time after "Unteathered" while Bobby is on suspension and is a companion piece to The Look.
"I like listening". That's what I said to him once when we were involved in a case. And I meant it. Not in a crude way. But I like to listen. You know the old saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Anyone whoever believed that saying was never on the receiving end of the tirade I had thrown against me tonight.
Words can be used in so many ways, to express so many things. And I've become really good at listening between the lines. For example, hidden meanings.
On a case: "I loved my wife. I would never, never do this. I would never kill her." Please. What he really meant was "I wanted out. I wanted to run away with my girlfriend and all my money, and the only way out was to shoot her and bury her in the sump". Well, that's what I heard anyway, and wouldn't you know, I was right.
Fifteen years ago: My father said "Don't worry Alex, I didn't do anything wrong and one day, I'll be vindicated". What he really meant was " Alex, it's up to you now to restore our family's good name because I really screwed up".
Or: "We are so sorry to inform you Officer Eames, but your husband was shot in the line of duty." (Meaning; "his backup device wasn't working properly, and we were too late"). Then, at the hospital "We did everything we could" (Meaning: "He was virtually dead upon arrival, but we had to put on a good show for the NYPD").
Sometimes, words are not enough. Especially to express gratitude. My sister said, while crying, "I can never, ever repay you for a gift like this. What could I possibly do?" What she meant was "Thank you for giving me my child. I'll never know what you went through to do this thing for me. To carry a child and then give him up". She couldn't say anything but thank you, and I understood that.
But my favorite, my absolute favorite was: "Detective Eames, starting Monday you will be partnered with Detective Robert Goren. His partner just...er...transferred and he finds himself in need of a new partner. I'm sure you'll work well together." Let's face it. Wasn't hard to get the hidden meaning behind those words. ("Detective Eames, starting Monday you will partnered with Detective Robert Goren. You know, the crazy, brilliant, conceited detective that no one can work with for more than 6 months and his last partner finally begged for a transfer in order to get away from him. Good luck with that.".
And he had a way with words too. I could read his meanings when he barely said anything at all. All I had to do was listen. Like when he stammered. He used his stammering to throw off a suspect. Makes them think he isn't quite sure of what he is saying. Anyone who knows Robert Goren knows that he plans and chooses his words very carefully. It's a great trick. And being how I love words, I love that trick. But you see, the fact that I know him and know that he chooses his words carefully makes what happened tonight all the worse.
The onslaught of words that came out of his mouth were, well, unforgivable. We could never go back. I could never trust him again. To know that he thinks these things of me...me, the one person who has stood by him through everything, well, hearing those words felt as if he ripped open every wound I ever had and poured salt in them. His words stung, they bit, they took me by surprise. He knows this too. For that one second, you know the one, that split in time between the final word and the final look, he knows. He could never apologize.
Words this time, will not be enough.
End