A/N: The Outsiders is owned by S.E. Hinton.
It was a question that had come up many times before. One the gang liked to question when he wasn't around, particularly after some sort of event when we were silly enough to be emotional. This time, it was Johnny and Dally. Johnny was dead. It shouldn't have been a surprise with all of his injuries, but it was. Dallas walked in before Pony. He also stormed out before we could even ask what was going on.
After Pony told us the news about Johnny, the gang sat down on the couch and for once Two-Bit wasn't watching Mickey. Except this time, nobody really cared. We were all wondering the same thing: What made Dallas Winston so cold? Cold enough to ditch his friends at a time like this?
Looking back, I guess it was just because none of us knew.
We didn't know that at six years old Dallas Winston and his mother were kicked out of his father's house. His mother would say it wasn't her husband's fault. Dallas thought he just wanted to spend more time "alone". Couldn't do that with a six year old around, could he? Not when his mother cared for him. So that was his fault.
Maybe it was because we never knew that less than a year later Dallas Winston and his mother moved to New York and were walking home and got mugged. She told him to run just in time, but that didn't stop him from turning around at the gunshot, from seeing his mother die... For him.
We didn't know that after that night, he was lost and couldn't find his way home. On the streets alone at seven years old. Growing up on New York streets for five years.
We didn't know that at twelve years old Dallas Winston was one the most accomplished criminals in the area. But everyone gets caught sometime, so he ran. Caught a train to Tulsa. He figured even his father was better than juvy.
We met him then, but we never really knew him, what he suffered at home. The days he was kicked out and sure maybe it was storming, but pride wouldn't let him sleep at our house two days in a row.
We didn't understand how Johnny could trust him so blindly with all that he had been through. I guess he was the only one who could relate even a little. The only person that Dally dared to ever let in. After all, we would never understand.
We didn't know what Dally would do. It turned out we didn't even know who he was. It's not like he let us in or helped us understand.
So why does it feel like we should have known?
Could we have saved him?
... Johnny would have.