Please see end of chapter for Author's Notes.

Chapter 1: Hiding from you in this skin, so old

The first morning after the Captain disappeared on Hilsek IX, Beverly Crusher was still in sick bay giving orders. She had been up all night dealing with the casualties of the previous night's explosion. The corrupt government had sabotaged the negotiations with representatives from nearby Hilsek X. Although the attack had been intended to look like it had been committed by the extremist group currently holding a protest in the capital, there was plenty of evidence to indicate that it had in fact been planned by the fairly tyrannical current Preceptor Prime of Hilsek IX.

The visiting delegation of Nilgen from Hilsek X had been the primary target, so of the total of 6 fatalities, only one had been a member of the Enterprise crew - one of the security officers stationed on the planet as part of the Federation's previously planned peace-keeping role in these negotiations. After her third round of check-ins on the 12 now-stabilized patients in her sickbay - sometime around noon - Beverly allowed herself to retreat to her office with her eighth cup of coffee. Sighing as she leaned back in her chair, she sipped the coffee to prevent herself from slipping off to sleep.

Being a neutral party and in possession of the best medical facilities available, the Enterprise had been the obvious choice to care for those injured in the attack - crew and Nilgen alike. Naturally this had been Beverly's suggestion, and naturally "suggestion" was a mild word for it. Luckily for her a doctor from the planet with no obvious ties to either side of the debacle had been more than willing to beam up along with the patients, saving her from another game of "learn a new alien's physiology while attempting to keep them alive." The injured Nilgen and crew-members were all in stable condition, but Beverly had stayed awake through two - nearly three - shifts of nurses to make sure that happened. As a positive side effect, it had kept her rather too busy to dwell on the Captain's capture. Worry wasn't going to help him, and sick bay was much more her forte than the political intrigue and military strategy that was undoubtedly going to have to go into getting him back. Still, she hadn't slept and despite the coffee she was starting to fray around the edges and get progressively more concerned about what might be happening to him and Data.

She caught sight of her reflection in her monitor. How much longer could she do this to herself, she wondered. She frowned at the thought, and then furthered deepened the frown when she saw how it exacerbated the wrinkle lines evident on her already exhausted-looking face. She shook her head at herself and put down the coffee cup to take up her medical tricorder. How many times had she scolded her friends for treating things like gloom-and-doom mysteries when they had medical facts at their disposal? She scanned herself efficiently but thoroughly with the tricorder and read the output. Heart-rate and blood pressure slightly elevated, but perfectly healthy. All other readings well in line with her usual vitals…and ah, there it was - heightened muscle tension and strain in her lower back, neck, and shoulders. Fears assuaged, she glanced down at her heeled boots and decided that provided that she made it that far, when she was a geriatric doctor she could wear more sensible shoes and hire an assistant to give her neck massages. For now a few minutes off her feet would have to do the trick.

"Riker to Doctor Crusher" - or a few seconds off her feet, she mentally amended as her comm badge chirped.

"Crusher here"

"How are your patients, Doctor Crusher?"

"Doing just fine, in no small part thanks to the efforts of Doctor Kielgen."

"Give her my thanks."

"I would, Commander, were she not asleep in a chair. Evidently our replicators can't do justice to the Nilgen version of coffee."

"Ah. We'll be sure to have coffee at the senior staff meeting in five minutes, if you can make it."

"I'll be there." She let concern show in her voice as she asked, "Any news?"

"Nothing conclusive, but a few leads since last night."

"Have you slept at all, Commander?"

"No."

"Well, find some time for a nap today or you'll be taking a mandatory one in sickbay tomorrow."

"Yes, Doctor. Riker out." she could hear the smile in his voice and was comforted to know that he was still in fairly good spirits - things couldn't be too dire.

A mere five minutes later, she was sitting at the table in the observation lounge surrounded by her colleagues. Chatter was at a minimum until Riker joined them to give them a full report. Conspicuously absent from the table were Captain Picard and Lieutenant Commander Data. Beverly only realized she'd been distractedly staring at the chair where Jean-Luc should be for several seconds when Deanna nudged her slightly. She gave her friend a quick glance of thanks before tuning in to what Riker was saying.

Pointing at the map he'd just brought up on the monitor, he described the last known location of Picard and Data before the attacks, within the central government tower in Niltren, Hilsek IX's capital, and the location, nearly 10 miles away, where the cryptic message from Data had originated. Data had managed to send a low-frequency message to the ship, but the only text they could recover was "We …. held. Interrogated ... Precept...uninvolved….derground….ur," with several parts obscured by noise. Geordi's primary task was to work on processing the signal received in order to extract the complete message. Beverly was honestly too tired to contribute much to the meeting, but she was glad to be fully in-the-loop as Geordi, Riker, and Worf nailed down some solid strategies for attempting to locate Data and Jean-Luc and Deanna outlined possible motivations for their capture and therefore possible identities of their captors.

At the end of the meeting she was called on to give an assessment of the potential health risks to the Captain and Data, given what she knew of Nilgen physiology, technology, and the geographic and atmospheric properties of their homeworld. In a detached professional manner, she summarized the methods of interrogation favored by the Nilgen - starvation and dehydration foremost among them, as they preferred to restrain from use of excessive force. In her estimation this meant that Data was likely to be severely restrained or deactivated, since he was not susceptible to such methods. The captain, on the other hand, would likely be given food and water only as a reward for information - regarding who knows what, since the Federation had intended to play a passive role in these negotiations.

She advised Commander Riker that if they were unable to get a transporter lock on Data and the Captain when they were located, the away team tasked with retrieving them should carry glucose solution hyposprays, water, and standard Starfleet rations. It would be her preference to be part of the away team in that eventuality, so as to best assess and treat the Captain. Provided that the Nilgen didn't want to provoke the Federation further by letting the Captain die, he was likely to be in immediate discomfort, but not immediate mortal danger. The message fragment had implied that they were being held underground, but the subterranean atmosphere of Helsik IX posed no immediate dangers.

Faces around the table were looking a bit grim when she finished her reply. Worf looked murderous, but that wasn't actually too unusual. Will cleared his throat before speaking, "Thank you, Doctor. You're dismissed to get back to your patients, though I think you'd also do well to take your own advice and get some sleep. I'll alert you to any changes in the situation, and provided the situation is safe enough, I agree with your proposal that you be included in the away team. Back to work, everyone." And with that, they began to get up from their seats.

Deanna turned to Beverly as the began to walk out, "I'd like to come with you back to sick bay to look in on everyone, see how they are handling things."

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Beverly replied before falling silent again. Deanna was a good friend, but it seemed an odd time for idle conversation.

"I do hope we get them back soon - the whole ship is always extremely tense with the Captain missing." If there was a significant glance from Deanna after this statement, Beverly was not paying enough attention to notice it as they entered the turbolift.

"Mmm."

"And of course we'd all prefer to have him back before things get too unpleasant for him. Starvation and dehydration seems an awfully primitive technique for such a relatively advanced people." Deanna wasn't surprised by the swelling emotions she sensed from Beverly at that last comment - her friend never failed to have strong opinions on human rights issues.

"Torture, isn't a discipline I particularly think needs to advance as a society advances. He and I were discussing it one morning not too long ago," and while it escaped Beverly's notice that "he" in her speech had at some point come to habitually mean Jean-Luc, Deanna was already keenly aware of it. It was part of what made her come to sick bay this afternoon - the patients weren't the only ones she was checking in on.

"After all, starvation is relatively easy to repair. I can treat your body. And to some extent, it's your body torturing yourself, when you starve or go thirsty. It's horrific, but you can understand it - understand what is happening to you. But 'advanced' methods of torture? Humiliation, degradation, psychological torture, mental abuse, sexual abuse? Deanna - broken bones and nutrient deficiencies I can treat, but I think you'd know best that a broken mind and a broken spirit make recovery much less certain."

"That is absolutely true." She paused for emphasis before going on, "But it is oddly comforting to know that the Captain feels the same way, don't you think?" Deanna raised an eyebrow as she said it, and the two made eye contact. Beverly smiled reluctantly.

"Yes, alright Deanna, of course you're right." Beverly shook her head slightly - she hadn't even noticed until that moment how uptight she had gotten in the course of answering Will's earlier question, but of course Deanna had both noticed and already engineered a conversation that would help calm some of her fears.

"You don't have to do that you know. I'll be fine."

Another raised eyebrow was the only reply from the half-Betazoid.

"But thank you."

They arrived at sick bay, and the next several hours were spent caring for and speaking to the patients, as well as learning more about the Nilgen political and social climate from Doctor Kielgen. At some point she, Deanna, and the visiting doctor grabbed dinner at her desk. Soon enough, Beverly was falling asleep in her quarters, having had barely enough energy to put on pajamas and send a few thoughts for Jean-Luc's safety out into the universe.

Author's Notes: Story title and most chapter titles from the song "Recover" by Chvrches. This is set sometime before Attached, but still relatively late in the TNG episode timeline. Although not my first fic, it's my first P/C fic after years of P/C shipping. I anticipate later chapters with a higher rating, but any sections above a T-rating will only be posted to AO3, and the story will be written such that it is follow-able without those sections. It will probably be fairly long but not gargantuan, and I unfortunately can't make any guarantees about how frequently I'll be able to update. Thoroughly un-betaed, so any errors are my own. Comments welcome & appreciated. ~H