Summary : " You have left me all alone, not only that, but you left me something to always remember you with. Just how cruel can you get, Levi? "
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Shingeki no Kyojin, or any of its characters, it all belongs to our beloved Isayama-sensei
Author Note: This is a one-shot, a very tragic one, to be clear. Any weak-hearted people should be aware because there will be tears, a lot of them …
The one-shot is composed of a number of scenes, separated by a couple of days, months or years, depends.
She was awaken to the creaking of the door, her eyelids opened heavily, Just what time was it now? She could hear the careful movements of the process of changing his clothes. He was being extra careful so that he won't wake her up, but she was used to feeling any slight action around her, so his attempts were in vain.
He lifted the covers and slid in the warmth of the bed. "Go back to sleep, It's just me "
"I know, welcome home, your hands are cold, get them off me "
He didn't, and she knew better than to argue, even though they were very cold on her warm ones. But It's been 2 days since she last saw him and she missed feeling him nestled by her side.
It wasn't always that they were like this, him, being the always-busy Levi-Heichou, Humanity's strongest, captain of the special operations squad, and she, Mikasa Ackerman, the one worth one hundred soliders, the head of the elites of her year.
'We are married' Mikasa thought 'But I don't get to see him now any more than I did before'. She sighed and closed her eyes, savoring the moment, but his rough voice cut the silence
"We are having an expedition tomorrow" he murmured "Nothing serious, just some patrolling outside the walls, you will go with Hanji's squad"
Her eyes flew open, why was she sent with the research squad? This is certainly his order, an attempt to keep her from the so called "danger". AS IF she was going to agree! Just who is going to protect Eren in her place?
She pulled her hand from his "Just what do you think you're doing?" she snapped, this was not fair, she was strong, almost as strong as him, so why did he always keep her away?
"Don't shout Mikasa, please" his voice was tired, he has been working non-stop for 2 days and he needed his rest for tomorrow, but she didn't care right now.
"No Levi, I will shout, Just how long are you going to keep this up? Who will protect Eren if not me? I will go with the main squad tomorrow, and you won't stop me."
She pulled the covers on her body and turned her back to him, her heart ached, but she didn't care, she heard him sigh before drifting in a dreamless slumber.
The practice yard was as silent as a cemetery, the first squad soldiers forming neat lines, and in front of them he was standing, head held high. Only the creaking of her boots was heard as she made her way to the first line and stood in her usual place, between Eren and Armin. "Morning, Eren" she whispered as he turned to smile at her. "Did something happen with you and the captain?" Armin asked softly.
-"Hmm?"
-"He yelled at every single person he encountered today, he's obviously very angry"
-"It's just…" Mikasa started but was interrupted by a fierce yell from her captain and husband.
"Ackerman!"
Mikasa scowled as he made his way to where she stood, his deadly glare sending shivers all over her body. He stopped mere inches from her, his dark brown eyes revealing the rage boiling inside him, his fists clenched and teeth gritted.
Yes, he was very scary when provoked.
"Yes sir!" Mikasa yelled as she straightened and gestured the salute. His face remained the same, if something, he seemed even angrier that she was ignoring his temper.
-"If I recall properly Ackerman," He said in a dangerously low tone, "I told you that you are to go with Hanji's squad".
She remained silent, much to the surprise of Eren and Armin who expected a fierce quarrel to happen. Her silence provoked him even more , Levi stepped even closer until she could feel his warm breath on her face, it seemed comic since she was slightly taller than him (A/N: Sorry couldn't resist XD) "Then I take it you're violating my orders, Ackerman?". Armin frowned at Mikasa who remained silent and expressionless as her husband cursed furiously.
"Is everything all right Levi?"
Levi turned to yell at whoever the voice's owner was, but restrained himself when he recognized the blond hair and pointed eyebrows (A/N: couldn't resist this either XDD) "Erwin"
Mikasa let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and muttered a silent 'finally' under her breath.
"I take it this is about Ackerman, right?" Erwin said "Well she asked permission to join your squad for today's patrol, we'll need her power with us, It's my order"
Levi was shacking with anger by now, he watched as Erwin gave him a knowing look, then turned to Mikasa who sensed his temper escalating and a frown was placed on her face.
He didn't say a thing, just took his place at the front of the soliders.
Hanji's eyes were glimmering with delight as eyed the paper laying on her desk then the unnerved Mikasa in front of her.
-"What? Squad leader, is it too dangerous? I've been vomiting in the past few days and I had nausea, I didn't think much of it, and well, I didn't tell Levi, Did I eat something bad?"
-"Do you know what I think?" Hanji said, a huge grin forming on her face "I think that Levi will have a mental breakdown, I'd die to see his face, the cleaning freak can use a shock once in a while" And she burst in a hysterical laughter
-"Squad leader.." Mikasa muttered, fear beginning to take over her "Please, get it over with"
-"Okay, I'm sorry, Mikasa, you're pregnant, congratulations"
Everything froze.
Everything seemed so unreal, this wasn't happening, this shouldn't be happening.
Mikasa's mind went blank, the only thing she could think of was what Levi's reaction would be, he was still angry at her since the expedition's day, he wouldn't want this child, they didn't plan on having children, not now, not ever.
-"Hanji-san" Mikasa said, mustering all the courage she had left "Can the child be removed?" This was the only solution she had.
Hanji's look switched from one of amusement to a very serious glare, "No" She said after some time "I can't impose you to danger".
This was it, Mikasa dropped her head to her hands, this shouldn't happen…
-"Mikasa…" Hanji said as she stood from her chair and sat by Mikasa.
-"He will be upset, I know it"
-"No man is upset over becoming a father"
-"No man is like Levi"
-"And no child is like yours, talk to him Mikasa, this can be the resolve to your quarrel…"
A soft knock was heard on his door, he lifted his head as his dear wife made her way in the office. 'Took her long enough to apologize' he thought 'I was getting tired of sleeping on the couch'.
But…
Something was wrong, she was way too quiet for her usual self, she didn't even dare look him in the eyes. Something was definetly off.
She moved with heavy steps until she reached his desk, without even speaking a word. He saw her stiffen then inhale deeply. "We need to talk"
"How unexpected!" Levi shot "I didn't think we'll need to talk after spending a whole month like strangers with my own wife in my own house"
"It's not about that…" Mikasa started but got interrupted as he stood abruptly from his chair.
"It's not? How disappointing Mikasa, I was eager to talk about how you humiliated me in front of my whole squad!"
-"It's just…"
-"If you're not here to apologize, then you're dismissed"
-"Listen to…"
-"Dismissed"
-"I'm…"
-"I said dismissed, Ackerman!"
-"I'm pregnant for god's sake!"
Everything that happened after this line was said happened in a sickly slow motion,. Mikasa fell on the nearest chair, head in her hands and burst into tears as if a disaster fell upon her. Levi hurried and kneeled before her, he touched her thin wrists gently, she has gotten thinner in a month, he realized.
He will become a father, and a man like him isn't meant to be one.
After what felt like an eternity, Mikasa lifted her head and said: "You're angry, aren't you? I'm sorry, I don't know how…" she chocked on her tears, she looked as though she was ready for another round of crying but Levi wasn't about to let her do this to herself. He bought her right hand to his mouth and kissed it gently, sweetly, conveying everything he felt for her. "Why would I be angry? And why are you apologizing? Did you really think I'll yell at you for carrying my child? I'm not that harsh of a man, Mikasa"
"I know" she smiled faintly "But I'm scared".
"I'm scared too" he winked at her "Don't tell anyone though, or I'll lose everyone's respect".
They looked at each other silently, no words were needed between them, they were in this together, and they'll be out of it together, it was a silent promise that only they understood
Their secret communication lasted until he let out a sigh and dropped his head on her lap.
"I'm going to be a father."
"I'm going to be a mother."
"We'll get through this together."
Levi could never get used to seeing her cry, it made him angry to see her tears drop, it made his heart clench and his breath hitch… and lately, she has been crying a lot.
Hanji assured him that it was normal for any pregnant women to be emotionally tired, but this was much more serious than he thought it would be.
She would cry for every little thing, him coming back a little late, him sleeping early because he was tired, and every other thing he did and she overthought, but even though she was supposed to be angry at him when he did these things, nothing can calm her but his embrace.
She was also banned from the battlefield until she gives birth and Eren and Armin were doing their best keeping her busy when Levi was on solo patrols.
She would wake up very early in the morning, trying her best not to wake him up, to suffer the intolerable pain of morning sickness, and he would crawl out of the bed just to be by her side and support her.
They were both doing their best, him, trying twice as hard to come home alive for her, and her, trying to remain as calm and composed when he goes off in an expedition.
He was humanity's strongest but she was a women in love, and nothing can make her less worried.
They were going to get through this together… right?
The 12th of September would always remain a black day in Mikasa Ackerman's memory, It was the beginning of fall, her least favorite season, and she was getting ready to give birth in a few weeks. She couldn't wait to go back to the battlefield and fight again with Levi as soon as their awaited liitle child comes to the world.
It was a dull evening, Mikasa was pacing the floor of Levi's office, she wanted to see him first when he got back from today's 'Very important' expedition, as Hanji named it.
Come to think about it, Levi acted strange before he went too, he seemed far away when she spoke to him, he didn't seem to get a blink of sleep at all at night, he kept touching her belly and telling her to 'take a good care of their child when he comes to the world'.
And the strangest thing was that today's expedition's goal was a secret. Only the chosen ones who were going were told, and they weren't a lot, just the strongest and the smartest.
She shook these thoughts from her head and looked up at the sole clock hanging on the wall, it was almost 8pm, they were sure taking their time today.
She went down to the front yard and was startled to see the horses scattered here and there, none of them were tied, as if their owners went up quickly, and Levi's horse wasn't there.
Mikasa felt her blood freeze in her veins.
Mikasa Ackerman always remembers the 12th of September as a black day, she remembers how she ran to Hanji's office, how she found the usually cheerful squad leader crying like there was no tomorrow , she also specifically remembers the single tear that slipped from commander Erwin's eyes as he told her the news.
Soft wailing could be heard from the city as the news spread like the plague.
The 12th of September was the day humanity's strongest solider died in the battlefield.
A black day indeed.
Dear Mikasa,
Since you are reading this, then I must be dead for good.
I gave this letter to Hanji so that she can pass it to you if something happened to me on the 12th expedition.
Let me tell you about the expedition, It was a plan I worked on with Erwin for a year now, since we discovered that the colossal titan is that brat Bertolt Hoover, we knew that if the colossal is dead, the others will have no chance.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you, even though I know you're strong, I still can't help being afraid that someday you'll be gone and leave me behind.
The exact opposite happened now, I am the one who left, and at the most crucial moment too… I'm sorry.
You are going to deliver very soon, we promised we're going to get through this together but it seems the rest of the road is yours alone to walk from now on. Stay the Mikasa I loved and cherished and be strong, you'll always have me watching over you.
I want you to do something for me, now that I'm not there anymore, I want you to name our child 'Masaru', Don't ask me how do I know that It's a boy, call it a father's instinct, I just know.
I have another favor to ask, don't cry Mikasa, you know that I hate it when you cry, don't let my death distract you, you still have a mission to complete, the rest of the titans are still alive, keep my memory alive and fight in my stead, and stay alive, please.
I love you Mikasa, I always did, and always will, I know you won't let this pin you down, you are strong, my dear, and capable, and you'll have Masaru with you.
My only regret is that I won't be able to see my son grow, but I know you will make sure he does.
Levi
The sea, as strange as the word seemed to Mikasa long ago, it became familiar now.
When Mikasa was a child, she dreamed of going there with Eren and Armin, when she grew up and started a family with Levi, she wondered if he'll go there with her someday.
Little she did know at that time, that after all these years, she'll go there with her 4 years old son, Masaru.
Yes, It took the humanity 4 years to finish up all the titans for good after levi cleared the way and killed the colossal titan, once and for all, humanity was finally free.
"Mikasa, stop clenching that piece of paper"
She snapped back to reality by Eren's voice, he came walking with her little son who was giggling and jumping happily.
Seeing his smile, Mikasa couldn't help smiling back, he was her only salvation in the past 4 years, when her life consisted on fighting and caring for him.
"Masaru dear, you're back" She said as her son looped his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek tenderly "I hope you didn't cause any trouble to uncle Eren".
"Nonsense, the young guy was an angel" Eren said as he winked to Masaru.
Masaru proceeded to where Armin was, a bit behind, and Eren was about to go after him when he stood for a moment, looked Mikasa in the eyes and said "You finished what the captain started, Mikasa, he must be proud".
"Yes" Is all what Mikasa managed to say, tears were threatening to fall any second.
"I'll be with Masaru and Armin if you need me, they both can't get enough playing in the sand these days."
As Eren's footsteps faded, Mikasa looked at the sea as its waves crashed, and tears made their ways down her tender cheeks.
"It's been 4 years Levi, and you fulfilled your promise, you watched over me and Masaru, thank you. I also fulfilled mine, I did my best eliminating the rest of the titans, and they are now from the past.
Humanity is free now, thanks to you, you always dreamed of this day, aren't you proud now?. People now call me "A hero and the wife of a hero", not a day goes away without people screaming the name of their savior, you.
I love you Levi, and now that you're gone, I regret not saying it every hour to you. Masaru is proud of you, I'm proud of you and the whole world is proud of you.
You are cruel Levi, you leave me all alone, with Masaru as a reminder of you, and you want me to stop crying too? It was too much for me to handle, but I kept strong, because your memory was stronger than any weakness.
She hesitated for a moment then smiled and said "You can go on now, Levi, everything is over".
Even 30 years later, a beautiful white memorial still stands in the middle of the great city, on it you can read:
"In memory of Levi and Mikasa Ackerman
The saviors and guardian souls of our race
Love by us for all eternity"
-Fin-
Author note: Hello Minna! I hope you liked this one shot, it took some effort from me to finish it, oh and sorry I killed off Levi heichou, it was necessary :p
I hope it was good enough for your tastes I will post a new fanfiction after a couple of days, not an SnK one though.
Please Read & Review, I care about your opinions.
Eternal Miracle