Inspired by Kodaline's song, All I Want. One-shot between Daryl and Beth. Their journey to finding each other once again.
Daryl
"All I want is nothing more,
To hear you knocking at my door."
'Cause if I could see your face once more,
I could die a happy man I'm sure."
He shifted underneath worn out cotton without much relief to the mental discomfort weighing him down. He should've been happy, could've been if he forced himself to see the better side of things, but that recent trick he had learned was long forgotten during the quiet nights spent sleeping alone amongst the others. There was no doubt in his mind he was grateful for finally reuniting with his once broken family; they were here with him and alive. That was something he could've kissed the ground and cried out in pure joy over, but the family was still incomplete. He was incomplete.
Maggie was the first to pry for answers. She saw the look on his face as she frantically asked if anyone was with Beth after the prison's demise. She could see the way he avoided her eyes with tears attempting to escape his own. Anxious tension only rose in the crowded confinement of the boxcar.
"She's just gone." He could only choke out a fraction of what was actually running its course through his mind. The rest was too fresh of a cut; he was still bleeding from the loss of something more than he would've ever imagined of.
"Is she alive?" Maggie's question brought back that fateful night. He refused to look her in the face. Guilt seemed to sear a permanent wound onto his heart, making every second as agonizing as the first. It took every ounce of strength within him not to ask that question to himself constantly. He didn't know if she was alive. Didn't Maggie hear him the first time? She's just gone.
Rick attempted to break away the sadness from Daryl's expression as they cleared houses together-days after their lucky escape from Terminus-in numbing silence, yet his attempts for lightening the mood were always cut short. A Walker, two, three, twelve, would jump out, reminding them of the job at hand. There never seemed a perfect time to ever ask why.
It was a pure blessing to find the place they did. The second best thing to Hershel's farmhouse-the third if you compare it to the prison, Carl exclaimed as he dragged Michonne through the kitchen and out the back porch.
"We can stay here for a while," Rick's voice carried softly, afraid of the response he might get, "If she comes around...We can stay here until we find her," Daryl remembered the way he cleared his throat and paused before he spoke, "Then we'll head out for Washington."
Daryl was a quiet man before, but Rick could see the way he kept to himself more often than not now. Something changed him in the time span of losing the prison to that moment. Someone changed him. Rick received a forlorn look accompanied by a slow head nod as if Daryl had to convince himself that anything positive would happen in the near future.
"We'll find her, Daryl."
"I know."
Daryl tossed his body to the side again, forcing the memories of his short conversation with Rick out of his mind. The nights did this to him. They made him miss her more than he ever thought was possible. After a few hours of fighting a battle between physical exhaustion and a mentally active overload, his eyelids slowly drooped.
"You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone, Daryl Dixon." Her voice was soft and broken, ringing through his ears as if she was whispering right by his side. Her pale skin shone bright in the soft moonlight, contrasting the darkness surrounding them both. He could do nothing more than look at her, wondering why she would say such a thing to him. They would be fine. They would make it out of the mess they were thrown into. She said it herself to him many times-they would be okay.
She bowed her head and he swore he could hear her sniffles and cries through her curled up knees.
"What're you cryin' for?" He was surprised by the concern in his voice, but he didn't regret asking. There was a genuine thought behind the question. She looked up at him with a sad smile; her hair stuck to the side of her sticky cheek as she wiped away remaining tears.
"I'm crying because I think I miss you more than you miss me." Beth's body began to fade away from the wooden porch. He couldn't reach out to grab her if he wanted to; his body stayed in place as he watched her fade into nothing now. She's just gone.
His dream wasn't what sent him into consciousness again, but what did had him on his feet at once. He could hear soft sound of knuckles colliding with wood loudly-he refused to sleep anywhere else except by the door in hopes of Beth's return. Through cloudy thoughts that still invaded his mind from sleep, Daryl whipped the door open unarmed and unsatisfied with what he saw. His heart sunk to his feet as he watched Michonne's eyes drop to the ground. She could tell she was the last person he was expecting.
"The door was locked…" She started to explain before Daryl ran a hand through his hair and headed outside. It wasn't his turn for watch, but Michonne understood he would rather be out on the porch now; alone. She listened to the way the door clicked shut softly. He wasn't angry at her, he was just disappointed that he could get his hopes up for unrealistic reunions.
Beth
"When you said your last goodbye,
I died a little bit inside.
I lay in tears in bed all night.
Alone without you by my side."
"Get up." Beth's light sleep was abruptly disturbed by a woman's rough grasp on her wrist. Salted trails stained her bruised face as she was looked over. She hadn't slept more than an hour on the small cot that she now claimed as her own. The smell of breakfast invaded her white-washed, bland room.
"Be in the dinner hall in five minutes and don't think about running again. Remember where that got you last time." Beth watched the way the woman looked over her newly imprinted scar that now ran smoothly across the side of her face. She smirked before leaving Beth with a new pair of scrubs to change into. Though she cried the whole night, freshly fallen tears left damp spots on the rough fabric.
It had been five days since she was forced into the car that ultimately made her lose the only person she had left in this world to trust. She swore in the midst of her abduction, as the man who called himself a 'savior' shoved her blindly into the back seat, that she could faintly hear Daryl screaming her name.
The memory haunted her and each night she would sit in a ball, curling herself up with knees-to-chest as she cried loudly first and then silently after being smacked across the face for disrupting the rest of her hallmates.
"Let me go!" She yelled at the man, "Let me go! Daryl-"
"I just hit you! You need to go back with me and get help." He yelled at her violently, but quickly calmed himself as he explained to her the urgency of their departure. Beth sobbed in the back seat. Her body was bleeding where his hood had collided with her side. She couldn't tell what was more painful, but the fact that she had left Daryl's side abruptly seemed to make her cries harden and her body explode with discomfort.
"Please, stop crying. You're making this harder for me," She could barely hear his voice as he turned the radio's volume higher, drowning out her cries with the familiar voices of gospel glorification. Though the words of praising the Lord filled the small vehicle, Beth could hear him frantically talking still, "My people will help you. My people will make this all better...I'm so sorry. Dear Lord, forgive me."
The memory always hit her harder than others. She could think about losing the prison lightly, even losing her father seemed less painful than this. She knew those things couldn't be avoided. They seemed inevitable at the time. But this, this could've never happened. She chose to run away from the funeral home at Daryl's commands. Why hadn't she stayed? She never had a problem with disobeying him beforehand. He would've surely gave her hell after they escaped, but at least she could've avoided the vehicle that struck her in the middle of the driveway. It was her fault she was taken. It was all her fault.
Five minutes had passed as she laid herself back onto the mattress, crying out once again. The woman's threats were not backed up. Beth curled into herself and cried until she heard harsh footsteps making their way back into her room just under an hour later.
Daryl
"But if you loved me,
Why'd you leave me?"
Take my body,
Take my body."
The woods was silent despite the midday sun hanging over the spotted canopy. A beautiful day, almost perfect, and yet not a thing in sight. Even the birds hushed their normally cheerful songs. It was understandable though; Walkers had a way of silencing the world with their violent outbreak.
Daryl cursed at the way he was caught off guard by a fleeing crow in a nearby tree. His hunting skills had been off for a while along with his body and mind. It bugged him to no extent that even his favorite hobby was cut short by the disappearance of her. He gathered his thoughts and trudged on, hoping to find as much as a squirrel to bring back to camp.
With two squirrels hooked on to his side and a handful worth of berries tucked in his handkerchief, Daryl slowly made his way back west towards the house as daylight started to fade. For the first time he was feeling somewhat pleasant. There was food to go around tonight and he helped contribute.
The feeling faded as he spotted a flash of blonde hair through the trees. His head snapped to the right; he could hear the sound of leaves crunching below someone's boots. A woman's hushed giggle filled his ears.
"Beth!" Not a moment more was spent on staring into the trees, trying to make sense of what he just saw. Instead, he sped towards the running woman. His legs ached as he seemed to be racing full speed, but yet the blonde curls bounced on the petite woman's body as if she was only lightly jogging. He couldn't understand what was happening. The harder he ran, the slower she seemed to go. He couldn't keep up with her. Farther she went, not turning back at him as he called for her. Hell, he didn't even know if it was Beth. But he did know. It had to be her. He could still hear her joyful laughter as he sank to the ground, letting out a frustrated sigh.
Nothing mattered to him anymore. He was chasing hallucinations. His breathing didn't calm as he hit the ground with bloodying knuckles. He could never catch up with her. As hard as he chased, he could never get to her.
"Why'd you have to leave?" His voice was wavering. He tried to keep his faith for her, even if it meant believing in something he never did before just to keep her alive in his mind.
"Take me, you bastard!" Daryl yelled out then whispered, "I can't do this anymore, God dammit. Take me away."
Beth
"All I want is,
And all I need is
To find somebody.
I'll find somebody like you.
Oh, oh."
"You'll be okay here, you know," Kale outstretched his hand as Beth placed the remaining tools into his palm, "They're trying to help us. They're good people."
She sucked in a sharp breath at his last words. He could see he struck a nerve in her so he fell silent, working next to Beth a little while longer. She knew he was trying to find a friend in this god awful place just as much as she was wanting, but it wasn't the same. It didn't feel right trying to start over. That meant she would be giving up what she was wanting to find again. Starting over meant something to her and slowly she felt like she was losing sight of her past.
"I'm sorry." Beth looked up to see Kale's blue eyes studying her. She scrunched her brow while brushing off the dirt on her legs.
"Why?"
"I heard you a few nights before. My room's a couple down from yours. I know they took you from someone. A boyfriend, I'm guessing. And I'm sorry, is all." He placed a hand on her shoulder. He was understanding and that was one thing this place lacked. It was little comfort, but Beth took what she could get.
"He wasn't my boyfriend," Beth thought back to their dinner before she was taken away. She remembered the look in his eyes as she realized something she seemed to be completely blinded of before. She could see the change in his actions and way of thinking was because of her, but there was a deeper meaning to his answer. Something changed between them and she couldn't even confront it now. She sighed, looking up at the young man before her, "He was the last person I had before my whole group got separated. He was all I had and now, now I have nothing. Because of them." She looked towards the person guarding the hospital's kitchen door. Her whispers went unnoticed.
"You don't have nothing, though," Kale smiled reassuringly. He sure seemed ignorant of all the bad things that happened in this new world. It reminded Beth of how she acted before. He kept his gaze on her, "You have me."
"Yeah." It wasn't convincing to either of them, but he finally left her alone. She didn't feel right talking with a complete stranger. He was trying to help ease the pain, but it didn't work. She scolded herself for not having more of an open mind. Someone was there for her and that was better than no one. The zipper snagged just a little before closing all the way, hiding her assigned tools away before she shrugged the backpack onto her shoulders. She didn't feel a purpose in this hospital. All this work for the 'greater good' did nothing more than bring her deeper into the sadness that already consumed her mind and body.
Daryl
"So you brought out the best of me,
A part of me I've never seen.
You took my soul and wiped it clean."
He remembered how he felt the day he first taught Beth to use his crossbow. It was a mix of teaching something that always came natural to him and teaching someone who had no experiencefor the first time. The familiarity and the new sense of duty pleased her more than it did him, but for some reason he had no problem with letting Beth learn how to protect herself if something dare happen to him.
"Hold it straighter," He coaxed as she turned back to smile at him, "Keep your eyes on the target! Never let anythin' distract you."
"Yes, Mr. Dixon. Focus. Got it." She kept her head turned, thankfully, or else she could have seen the red that creeped up his neck and attempted to fill a little bit of his cheeks. He grunted at her remark. Beth had her unique way with him; seriousness could turn into playful banter at the blink of an eye or vice versa. He pulled lightly at the scruff on his chin as he watched her focus in on the poorly drawn dot placed on an even more clumsily thrown together target.
He could feel her full attention was on the bow and target, at least he thought that's what was happening.
"You're distracting me."
"How'm I distractin' you?" He huffed at the way she snuck past his senses easily. It should've made him uncomfortable with the fact that such a clumsy, loud footed girl could throw him off, but it didn't. He hadn't felt this comfortable around a person since they settled into the prison.
"I can tell you're watching me," Her finger pulled the trigger, sending a bolt a little off to the left of the target, but still close for a beginner, "You're practically burning holes through my head."
He watched her turn, smiling at him with more warmth than the Georgia sun could muster. He could see the difference in the way she acted around him, because he was changing too. The overwhelming feeling of happiness, of all things, always surprised him, including with her. He often thought of how different things would have been if he wouldn't have found her and escaped the prison together. For being forced together by horrendous circumstances, they made a good team.
"S'was makin' sure you could do it."
"I know you have more confidence in me than that. Now take this heavy thing, we've got some tracking to do now that I'm a pro with your bow." And there was that damn smile again.
Beth
"Our love was made for movie screens."
"When was the last time you watched a movie?" Beth could feel Kale's presence, even before he spoke. She was all too aware of her surroundings. No one would be able to sneak up on her now.
"Before the outbreak." She sighed softly. Flashes of blue and purple filled the screen as the camera zoomed in on a blossoming circus affair. It was the first time she saw anything on a television in so long, yet it didn't interest her one bit. She watched the way ladies in suits and tutus dancing around the circus ring and women posed happily on top of elephants. Their smiles and waves only reminded her of a world gone now.
"Do you miss it?"
"No," Beth's answer was quick and sharp. He had a way of asking too many questions. Kale stood next to her in the doorway now, folding his arms awkwardly as if he was waiting for her to ask. She rolled her eyes a little, "Do you?"
"Yeah. I miss the fairs and festivals my friends and I would go to. I always took them for granted, you know? I figured, oh hey, I'll leave early since it'll be here next year anyways," He flicked his index and thumb simultaneously out of habit, "Said that a while ago. So far the fair hasn't come this year."
Beth kept quiet as they stood in the doorway of the nursery. She didn't want to sit with the rest of the people. They were here together and she wasn't. No matter how hard she tried there was always the thoughts of her family bringing her farther away from new people. She couldn't trust much anymore. She didn't want to trust.
Scenes changed and a candlelit dinner replaced the beautifully chaotic event. A woman sat in what seemed to be her best dress, twirling her fork as she waited patiently for someone who seemed to not be able to make it. The candles were close to completely melted along with the black mascara coming from her green eyes.
"He's not coming," She whispered to herself. Dramatic music flooded the nursery as the woman connected the back of her hand to her forehead, "Oh why, oh why must I believe you'll be coming for me? You're gone for good, but I miss you so."
It was too much. Beth left Kale and the rest of the people huddled in the small room watching the old movie. It seemed any type of pleasure nowadays reminded her of the man she wished was by her side every second of the day. You're gone, but I miss you so.
"But if you loved me,
Why'd you leave me?
Take my body,
Take my body."
She felt a sharp pain across her back, sending her body onto the floor in pure assault. Beth thought she'd be used to this by now, but the burning sensation was always so raw with power. She should've just listened the first three times.
"Do you think you're the only one here?" Claire's voice rung in Beth's ears. She never did yell in front of others-it was rude to scare the rest of them-but her voice rose to unnecessary heights, "You get just as much time in the washroom as the next." Beth kept her hand clenched over her mouth as the lashings worsened before they stopped as quickly as they started.
"Ma'am, what're you-"
"Not now Rosa! Can't you see she disobeys? This is not acceptable. We can't have someone like this representing the greater good of this community." Beth could feel her body being lifted roughly off the ground. Strong hands kept her steady as she was led away from the gathering crowd. Beth's body felt numb and yet it still screamed at her. The pain was excruciating.
"Take her to the back where the rest of them go. I'll calm everyone else down. Got it?" Beth heard a man's agreement and her body began to move again. Her legs carried her slowly, but the man held most of her weight, which wasn't much anymore.
"Why'd I leave?" Beth felt a sob deep within her throat. She started to mumble; it was a regular thing whenever she was almost knocked unconscious. Her thoughts were never straight after the pain would shoot up her spin, "Why'd I leave you?"
She was aware of the cold tile floor underneath her before darkness invaded her vision. The man disappeared now, leaving Beth to her own devices in what they called the 'holding room'. She dreaded coming here up until now. Whatever could take this pain away was enough for her to endure. Cries came and went from her mouth until the room turned dim instead of pitch black. The door was opening just enough to let a sliver of light in. She watched it open just a little more before she heard a familiar voice.
"Get up," Kale's voice was hurried, "Get up, Beth. I'm getting you out of here."
"Where are we going?"
"I'm making sure you can find your family again."
"Take me," Beth breathlessly called out. She was too exhausted to get up, but with his help she got to her feet. She could feel the light sweat on his arm as he lifted her up and out of the room as quickly as they both could go. She was finally leaving. Finally.
Daryl
"All I want is,
And all I need is,
To find somebody."
"We can't leave, dammit!" His angry voice scared even Abraham. It was the best response any of them had gotten out of Daryl for the first time since they all had discovered each other. Abraham looked to Rick for help, but there was uncertainty in him as well.
"Daryl, we gotta go soon. It'll be the best option." Abraham spoke sternly, but not as loud as earlier.
"Best option? Do you even know the best fucking option? You can't even figure out who to trust. You brought that damn no good 'scientist' with you and yet he don't even know what he's talkin' about. What're we even goin' to D.C. for when that bastard was lying the whole time?" He gripped Abraham's shirt now. Nothing could make him back down.
"I'm sorry we can't find your girlfriend. We've been looking for weeks now. We need to move on-"
Abraham couldn't finish his sentence. Daryl's fist connected with the man's jaw along with his other hand following suit. He could register Maggie's yelling on top of Glenn's hands on his shirt pulling him away, but his focus was purely on knocking some sense into the red-headed fuck beneath him.
"Daryl, knock it off!" Glenn successfully pulled Daryl off of Abraham's body while Maggie replaced him, "I don't want to go just as much as you. I want to find my sister, but it's been weeks. I don't know if she's alive or if she's found another group, but we have to consider the fact that she's making it okay without us. I love my sister more than I love myself and I think we're doing the best thing if we head to D.C." She paused and watched Daryl's face change to stone, "We can fix this if we find the right people."
"What is wrong with you people? Especially you. For havin' so much faith in findin' your damn husband instead of your own blood I'd think you would be a little more optimistic," Daryl backed away from Maggie, shaking his head, "What the fuck people. I'm findin' that woman and I'm findin' her alive. With or without you."
He could hear Rick's voice call out his name as he walked out the front door and down the porch's steps. There was no way he was leaving the state of Georgia without Beth. It was never an option to.
Beth
"I'll find somebody.
Oh."
She ran. She ran faster than she thought was physically possible in her condition. She dropped a total of 15.3 pounds according to the hospital's scale she used just the day before. It wasn't something she had wanted to happen, it just did along with the rest of the shit she had been through in the month's time span. Though her bones felt weak and her mind was weaker, she kept running just like Kale had said.
He was probably dead now. What he did was the biggest sin to those people. No one 'saved' could be let go. She tried to feel an ounce of guilt for a practically suicidal mission on his part, but there was no time for such thoughts. She didn't even know where she was running. Anywhere away from the hospital proved to be much better.
She ran until she collapsed in the middle of a road she was unfamiliar with. The surroundings were unfamiliar along with houses and everything else. The wind picked up, sending a cold shiver down her still throbbing back. She didn't remember the weather being this harsh the last time she was outside. It had been so long since she stepped foot onto anything other than cold tiles.
Get up. She pleaded with herself. Get up and keep going. She couldn't raise up from the asphalt. Her body finally broke down once it realized she could actually fall into pieces. So instead of leaving, Beth let herself sit on the ground. It was the first time she could hear her cries loudly instead of hushed. It felt so good she cried harder, letting everything out as she started to hyperventilate. Her sadness was replaced with overjoy as she yelled incoherent words and sounds. She was free. She was finally free.
She felt her body finally use up all the tears and yells she had. Beth fell silent, breathing in the cool air and palming the hard ground as if it were her imagination. Hair flooded her face, making her oblivious the to the approaching body. The only way she knew someone-or something-was advancing was what Daryl had taught her so long ago. Open your ears as much as your eyes and you'll see much more than what you're lookin' at.
The footsteps stopped just short of a few feet behind her. She could hear a loud thump as something heavy dropped to the ground. She feared it was a Walker, but it couldn't have been. The movements were too similar to a human's. Her hand pulled her fallen hair back into the crook of her ear as she turned slowly. She didn't want to see anyone else's face. No one could ever satisfy what she truly wanted to see again.
"B-Beth." His voice was cracking at all sorts of bad timing. He couldn't breath correctly. Her eyes widened at the scene before her. It was unbelievable, unimaginable, but it was all too true.
There in front of her on his knees was Daryl Dixon.
Beth&Daryl
"If you loved me,
Why'd you leave me?
Take my body,
Take my body."
Beth Greene was one to believe in miracles and hope and all the things that human beings should believe in to keep them going on throughout life, but Daryl Dixon was not one to understand the point in that until now. In that moment the world seemed to stop spinning just for a fraction of a second, sending his mind into a whirlwind of thoughts. He couldn't believe his eyes and he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He heard her voice before when she was not there, but this was the real deal. She was repeating his name, softly at first with a few cracks and crokes, then loudly. The volume of her voice wasn't as high as before when he heard her cries just minutes prior, but it was loud enough for him to understand she was trying her best to convince herself that he was real just as well as herself.
They stared at each other a little longer before Daryl felt himself lift his body up. Beth wanted to do the same, but she was too weak, too tired, and too shocked. She watched him walk towards her, crouching down to meet her eyes on the same level once again.
"You're here." She watched his mouth move as well as a few tears making their way down his cheek. She sadly laughed at his statement before bringing her hand to his face and wiping away the falling tears. She nodded her head in agreement.
"You're here." She repeated. His hand covered hers on his cheek, intertwining his fingers into the opening of hers. He copied her action, shaking his head the same slow nod as she did.
"I didn't mean to leave you that night," Beth's head bowed, dropping her hand off of Daryl's face so she could cover her eyes. She didn't know it was possible after all the physical exhaustion and dehydration, but she was shedding tears harder than ever, "I never meant for this to happen."
"I know," She could hear his voice still choking up on his words, "I know you wouldn't do that t'me."
"If he would've just listened I could've maybe escaped. I just should have fought harder and I'm sorry, Daryl. I'm so-" He lifted her up, wrapping his arms around her so she was resting in his arms and off the ground. Her own arms wrapped around his neck as she held onto him for dear life. Daryl stood for a second, squeezing her in his arms tight as she did the same to him.
"Stop sayin' sorry. Please." He pleaded with a whisper and she nodded her head once more. She could smell the woods on him. It wasn't strange for her to think in her mind that she missed the familiar scent all too much.
"Take me back to our family," Beth felt his body start to move, "Please."
Beth&Daryl
"All I want is,
All I need is,
To find somebody.
I'll find somebody like you."
"I've never been outta Georgia."
"What?! Never?" Beth shook her head in disapproval, "Looks like that will be changed in a little bit."
They watched Abraham's truck in front of them finally pass the green sign stating "Welcome to South Carolina". Daryl's truck followed suit along with Rick and Glenn hauling the rest of their people over the state's border. Beth looked over at him, smiling fully at the small accomplishment.
"How's it feel?"
Daryl grunted and looked towards her, "Feel's the damn same. Nothin' special."
"But it is special," Her hand fell on top of his, squeezing quickly before going back to her own lap, "Going to new places is always special. We both have never been to D.C. It'll be a new adventure."
"I'm glad you see it that way." He was truly genuine, even with his rough accent getting in the way of the small compliment. Beth knew he was a man with few words, so when he'd say things like that, it meant more to her than most.
"I'm glad we found each other." Her statement didn't catch him off guard. She did that ever since he discovered her body in the middle of the road. She always made it a thing to remember and it was something he was grateful for. Beth was just as happy as him for finding what they had once lost.
"M'too," Daryl's affection was the same as before. His courage to guide her by placing his hand on her shoulder or hugging her back when she randomly wrapped her arms around him was not deterred by the group's presence. He grabbed her hand, surprising Beth at the way he gently traced mindless circles onto her skin, "That's all I wanted."
That's all they really needed.
Hope you all enjoyed. Let me know what you think of this short one! :)