Ok this is my first fanfiction that I'm POSTING online so yes, as I said in the summary this is a crack fic if you don't like these then leave now (oh who doesn't love crack fics?)
disclaimer- I don't own bleach, Szayel the arrancars and Gin or Tousen they belong to Mr. Kubo
t'was finally over the winter war, everything was normal again and while some this were still out of place it wasn't even near as messy as it was before yes this was true but today we go back in time a little to some days in las noches to see some of the most weird things too ever happen in the world ... EVER.
it was a fine day in las noches everything was just 'normal' Szayel was doing his experiments Nnoitra was being an emo psychopath (not that anyone knows) Grimmjow an actual psychopath was chopping things up for absolutely no reason Starrk was just snoozing around ... AGAIN Zommari was meditating Aaroniero was doing nothing Barragan was rambling about being king Ulquiorra was doing nothing because Aizen didn't tell him to do anything Halibel was observing things and Yammy was eating everything.
And what was our favourite pink haired scientist doing? The answer was he he was being bored! Yes the crazy scientist that could think of ANYTHING to do was being bored ... Not exactly normal for him well this was the case before he thought
"Starrk must have something to do rather than sleep all day"
and then it hit Szayel like a bunch of reiatsu covered bricks
energy drinks
So without anyone's knowledge Szayel went to the world of the living and went to a supermarket shop he thought was called Walmart and he wiped the shelves clean from coffee, suger and energy drinks and bought them all!
Then he went to Starbucks and raided them ... because Szayel had all the money in the world to spend.
Szayel then just went to a random store and got all the mountain dews, red bull, venom energy, powerade and monster energies he could find and then he left the world of the living and went back to las noches.
So Szayel had a mission and that mission was to make Starrk the laziest person ever to be hyper not exactly the easiest job out there per-see.
Szayel mixed all the things he had into one liquid and used his science powers to make it look like tea all there was to do now was to keep it eternally hot (easy for Szayel) and wait till there was a meeting.
1 week later
Szayel had arrived at the meeting earlier than the other arrancar and went up to the place Starrk usually sat and quickly drinker the tea and replaced it with his mega super energy drink he then sat down like absolutely NOTHING happened ...
One by one each espada came in and eventually Aizen came along everyone then drank all their tea since you NEVER mess with tea man Aizen EVER and so Starrk got high
"OH GREAT AIZEN-SAMA"
Starrk suddenly said jumping on a table he then unsheathed his sword
"PLEASE LET ME THANK YOU FOR ALL THE NACHOES PONIES AND UNICORNS YOU HAVE BESTOWED UPON US"
And everyone, yes including Aizen, had WTF IS HAPPENING faces on
"AHHHHH IT'S ADOLF HITLER!"
Starrk said pointing frantically at Aizen
Aizen not knowing what the hell was going on just replied
"I'm Adolf Hitler I'm the white witch"
"YOU KILLED ASLAN OFF WITH YO HEAD"
"WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT" Nnoitra just yelled
Starrk looked towards him and stared before
"Oh lookey here if it isn't the tin man ... Who found his heart" Starrk then put a hand on his heart
"but even if you've found your heart your still a tin man time to oil you up!"
Starrk then just randomly took an oil can out of nowhere and started putting the oil on Nnoitra
Starrk then threw the oil can into the air and ran out of the meeting room singing
"Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha"
There was silence before everyone said
"Wasn't me"
but the only thing that was going though the mind of the one responsible for this was
"plan success"
Ok how did I do? Who do you want me to do next? I will put up a vote on my profile so BE PREPARED TO VOTE
- Ellukaschiffer out