"Love will bring you down"
Derek's facing the emotional and psychological conflict of having to chose between what he has to do and what he doesn't know if he can do. He must save his friends but, in order to do so, he has to fight against her. But her pain keeps reminding him that she's evil because of her past and somewhere inside he has a hard time forgetting who she was to him.
Takes place during "Lunar Ellipse" and picks up right after Lydia's banshee scream induced by Jennifer in order to call Derek back to his loft.
"This is all about revenge, Jennifer. Don't try and manipulate me into believing you are doing this for a greater good." He's staring at her with anger shining in his eyes while she stands motionless in the middle of his loft.
Her eyes are dark, but her face shows so many emotions, he's not even sure how to read them all.
"You don't know him like I do, Derek. He's evil!" She whispers the last word as if it was dangerous, as if it held some sort of power she can't deal with. As if it didn't fit her as well.
"So are you!"
"It's a necessary evil. I have to do this. Deucalion has to be stopped."
"And who's gonna stop you?"
He can't say if she's crazy or delusional? If she's trying to fool him again or if she truly believes she's one of the good guys? He doesn't know if the girl he fell for was ever really there or if it was all an act.
She was faking the whole time. She was pretending to be someone she wasn't just to get him. Jennifer never existed: it was just the Darach.
But it did feel real. When she kissed him, he felt her heart caress his soul through her lips and the beating of her heart was so honest and stable, so sincere.
He was tricked by a pretty face, again. And this one was supernaturally evil.
He just can't win. If he lets his guards down, she will betray him again.
"Either you help me or get out of my way, Derek..."
"Not to meddle, but can I point out that you are the one that showed up here?" Lydia mumbles from her position next to Cora and Jennifer's eyes fly right at the girl's face with fire in it. She's loaded with anger and her breathing is so uneven, Derek thinks she could be about to explode.
Then Jennifer moves slowly in the girls' direction and he panics for a second, finding himself shouting:
"I'll help you."
She instantly stops, waiting for him to confirm what he's just said: her shoulders are tight and her head is bent a little in his direction. "I'll help you face him. I don't know why it is so important to you that I'm there, but I'll help you as long as you leave everyone else alone."
As the words leave his lips, he focuses on her heart, listening as it slows down peacefully and for a moment, he thinks that it means she feels safe.
When she turns around and meets his eyes, Derek's throat closes up a little: in there he sees the broken and bubbly woman he held not so long ago. Gone is the need of vengeance, the dark power of hate: she's looking at him with hope and she's silently asking him to protect her. But he can't and he won't. She's a threat to his friends and to the people he loves; she used and manipulated him. Everything was a lie from the start, which means he's gonna be the liar this time around and use her affection for him against her.
When they leave the loft her can hear his sister shouting that he's making a mistake. That he's falling for her tricks again and that he can't trust her, but he gets in the car with Jennifer anyway.
"Thank you." she breaths out when he starts the engine and drives in the direction of the woods.
"Don't, Jennifer. Just shut the fuck up."
He's so mad at her for being crazy with revenge, for pretending to care about him, for being evil.
Why did she have to be evil? He wanted her and, for a while, he was happy with her.
"You don't know what it's like to be alone and destroyed. I was left with nothing but pain for ten years. You have no idea what it does to your soul."
"You might have been hurt, but that's not an excuse. You won't get my sympathy. What you are doing is wrong. What you did to me was wrong."
He's getting louder and angrier with every word and he just can't tear his eyes from the road, fearing that she still could have some sort of power over him.
"You think I like going around with a mutilated face and killing innocent people?" her voice is flat and annoyed, so different from the smiley and sweet one he got used to ever since he's known her. Another proof of her betrayal.
"Apparently you do, or you wouldn't be doing it."
"I don't want your friends to die... All I want is to stop Deucalion."
"No, you want your revenge for what you had to go through."
"Can you blame me?"
She's challenging him now to have the nerve to state that he's better than her, that he can judge her for being damaged inside, but he knows better. He's been driven by anger for so long and he's been willing to kill before.
He slashed Peter's throat for something that could be revenge, too and he probably would have killed Kate himself if Peter didn't do it first. He was willing to end both Gerard and Jackson. And Matt. Even Cora and Boyd, when they were a threat to everyone.
When they were a threat to her.
It's all her fault. It's his fault too; had he not protected her from his pack, she would already be dead.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
He still can't bring himself to look at her, but he just asks this in a mumble because he wishes things had gone differently.
"Tell you what? That the girl you were sleeping with was in reality a monster that was secretly sacrificing innocent people in order to gather enough power to face a demonic werewolf?"
"Don't be a smart ass..."
"What would you have done? Help me? Forgive me? Try and understand me?"
No, he probably would have choked her to death, like he already tried.
"I might be driven by anger, but killing Deucalion is the right thing to do."
"And you had to drag me into this, because...? Did you seduce me just so I would help you?"
"I didn't seduce you."
"You kissed me. You pretended to be a defenseless and caring woman just to get to me."
"You kissed back. And I wasn't pretending: that was me. It's who I really am: that is who I'd be if they didn't destroy me."
"Bullshit... Stop playing the victim card: you are anything but a victim, Jennifer."
She's talking with so much passion he just can't help but feel annoyed with her and, as he gets closer to the woods, he wonders if he ever saw who was really hiding behind her sweet facade.
Derek waits for her to say something back: he's ready for more lies, for her to try and convince him she has reasons, but she stays silent. She just exhales heavily and lets her head fall against the window.
Then a whisper comes: "I had a life and I deserved to live it with my family and my friends. Maybe it is about revenge, but I was left with nothing but the monster they made of me... And I won't let him do that again."
That's when he focuses on her heartbeat again, the same heart that apparently knows how to lie to his wolf senses. It's painfully slow, steady for a while and clearer then her own voice: when she lets out the word monster her heart skips a beat and he can't really understand why. She isn't lying, she really is a monster, so why that uncertainty?
He stops the car, moving in his seat so that he's facing her but she's avoiding his eyes; her head hidden from his stare and her body still as stone.
"Why me, Jennifer?"
It's the first sentence void of anger he's asking her but he didn't mean for it to come out as desperate as it did.
"You think you were part of my plan?"
"Wasn't I?"
"No..." her answer is fast and a little irritated and, again, her heart proves she's not lying. But he doesn't trust her heart. Not anymore.
"How do you do that?"
"What?"
"How do you lie without your heart giving it away?"
She chuckles without really answering, which irritates him to the point he just opens the door, getting out of the car and slamming it violently before he starts walking into the woods: she'll follow, he knows. They are there because of her, there's no need to insist for her to join him.
Soon her steps are behind him, reminding him that she's on a mission: to kill. Either just Deucalion or his friends' parents.
She's a killer. A monster. She's not the girl he made love to. She's nothing.
"Did you even try to see it my way?" she's asking as she joins him, her voice cold again and he has to resist the urge to close his hands around her throat.
"Your way? You took the lives of twelve people just because you were pissed beyond sanity. There's no different way to see it."
Jennifer is now a couple of steps ahead when out of the blue she stops dead in her tracks, turns around, and does something that scares the shit out of him.
She mutates into her Darach form and lifts a hand to the back of his head, pushing her fingers deep against his flesh. And then, just like that, a flow of images and memories that don't belong to Derek invades his brain.
It's so fast he can barely keep up, so blurry yet heavy that he feels the air leaving his lungs, too overwhelmed to stand it and too confused to understand what he's actually seeing.
But one thing is clear: the power of the pain that stays stable the entire time, strong enough to have him beg for her to stop and let him go.
And she does, without hesitation.
She slides her fingers on his skin, caressing his neck for a moment, before she realize that it could be a dangerous move: she takes a step back, waiting silently.
Gone is her Darach face but, as he pants to get his breath back, he can't meet her eyes: she's hiding her face behind a curtains of dark curls and he's surprisingly grateful for that.
He has no idea what she just showed him, but whatever that was, it hurt like hell.
"What... what was that?" he mumbles still out of air.
She doesn't answer, though. She just turns on her heels and walks further into the woods, leaving him there to deal with the aftermath of her emotions.
When he catches up with her, anger is radiating from her flash all over again: a reminder of her true evil nature. He needs to stay focused and keep in mind that he's trying to protect his friends from her.
And from Deucalion.
Scott needs him: Scott and the rest of the pack are his priority, meaning he has to ban the image of Jennifer Blake from his heart and concentrate on the Darach walking next to him.
She has to die, no questions asked. No matter what, his goal is to make sure both her and Deucalion die: that's what should happen to the bad guys.
But she meets his gaze, staring at him as if she can read his mind and he doesn't know if he can be the one to kill her.
"What's it like, Derek?"
He's worried she's asking how it feels to be ready to kill someone he cared about, but he's not sure and he doesn't want to blow his cover, so he simply frowns at her.
"What's it like to be saved from yourself? To be loved? To be cared for?" her voice is trembling a little and he swears he can spot tears in her eyes, but it's a flash before she avoids his glance once again.
"How would I know?"
He's such a bastard: he's lying. He does know: he's a different man because of his friends, going from lonely and angry to a better version of himself. And they care about him, he knows that: he has his sister back and his pack, loving him and helping him always.
As he stares back at her, he can feel the memory of her pain coming back. Whatever she showed him, one thing he knows: she was scared, hurt, lonely, desperate and angry. Like he was when he lost his family.
He can't get past how she's dealing with everything, but he can acknowledge that her rage comes from the pain they inflicted on her. She fell into the darkness of her broken mind and soul.
She's right, they did this to her.
Still, knowing that is just not enough for him, he can't forgive her. He can't understand her. But then she breaths out something that shakes his heart a little:
"I wish you could have saved me, too."
"I thought I did: didn't you make it out alive because of me killing my girlfriend?"
"That's not what I meant..."
He knows exactly what she meant yet he doesn't want to feel sorry for her: she doesn't deserve it.
He wants to tell her, but then her phone goes off and soon she's watching a video of Scott letting her know where he and Deucalion are.
Derek watches as she changes her path, marching in the direction of the old distillery he knows too well and, without a word, he follows: it's time for the final battle. She doesn't know, but no matter what, she will be dead soon.
Dead. Gone. No chance for salvation; no mercy for the lost and crazy emissary. No more confrontation.
She's putting her faith in him, sure he will help her: what she doesn't know is that he's planning to betray her. He has to, she will kill his friends if he doesn't.
She's dangerous and out of control and he can't save her. Not now. There's nothing he can or wants to do for her soul.
She's right in front of him, ready to face the man that calls himself the demon wolf, determined to get her revenge; he keeps repeating in his head that revenge is all she's after, that it' her trigger.
When she pauses for a minute, he bumps into her back and takes in her silhouette: tense and trembling, strong but still somehow fragile. Jennifer is in there somewhere, lost in all the fury that grew for ten years and he wishes he could reach out and touch her, separating her from the Darach.
She inhales slowly, clenching her fists as she murmurs some ancient pray he can't understand; then she turns in his direction, making all his security crumble.
Her big blue orbs show fear mixed with gratitude and trust: she's showing she feels safe because he's there. Her face sweet and delicate, insecure yet comforted, making him feel like crap.
"I can't save you" he wants to say. "I'm sorry, but I can't save you. I wish I could hide you from the mess you made, but I can't."
And as she walks towards her personal vendetta, Derek can't help but hold one last time onto the memory of the woman he was falling for: he grabs her wrist suddenly, turning her around again before he gently touches the side of her neck. His eyes locked with hers, which now appear confused and taken aback.
Then, without a word, he softly brushes their lips together: it lasts only a second, it's something so rapid and light he's not sure himself if he actually kissed her, but it's all he wanted.
One last moment with Jennifer before he completely replaced her with the Darach: it's something more, 'tough. It's his way to say he's sorry Jennifer has to die. It's a plea to who she was supposed to be; he's asking her to understand. Maybe it's just the goodbye he was never able to have.
Or worse, it's his chance to play her, making her belief that he's on her side even more strong, when in reality he's her enemy.
Just like she's been his all along.
Then he meets her eyes, finding the fire back in there, as if she just read his true intentions through the kiss.
"Let's go."
As they enter the old distillery side by side, Scott and Deucalion right in front of them, he knows his time is up and he has to show whose side he is on.
"Should we show them why you had to take the lives of nine innocent people, Jennifer? Or is it twelve, now?" growls Deucalion as he shifts into his terrifying version of a wolf, taking a step in their direction.
"Actually, it's fifteen, if you include the rest of your pack..." Jennifer rumbles back, as an evil grin appears on her lips.
Her body ready for the fight, her senses all on her enemy.
Deucalion doesn't even filch as she mentions she had killed the other Alphas, but actually smiles in the most creepy way showing how emotionless he really is.
"That's why you can't beat me: you still hold onto the pain of losing those you loved. Love is a weakness, Jennifer. Love will bring you down..." as the powerful Alpha speaks the last line, his face moves for a second in Derek's direction, making his blood cold in his veins.
But she doesn't understand. She doesn't see Derek's eyes close briefly with guilt. She doesn't read the conflict on his face. Nor does she feel his heart beat pick up with fear.