A/N: This is just a short L/J one shot I wrote when I should have been catching up on much needed sleep so it's not my best writing but I couldn't fall asleep until I had it written so here it is. Anyway it's the first time I've written L/J so please, please review and let me know what you think.
Hell
She's laughing. Laughing more hard than she has done in a while. Or ever. She supposes she's laughed more in her seventh year than she's ever laughed in life- it's not her fault. It's him. Just him. He doesn't have to do anything, doesn't even have to say anything and yet when she's with James she finds herself laughing for no particular reason.
Like now.
Just watching him there, sprawled out on the floor in front of her, his legs gangly and...long.
His hair is a mess, as usual; his head is bent low in a book; not so usual.
Perhaps it's the absurdity of the fact that James Potter is actually fixed on a book, along with the fact that James Potter is fixed on a book with her by his side, that's to blame for her latest burst of laughter.
"James"
"Mhmm" he doesn't look up- she supposes he's used to her random bursts of laughter now.
"What do you think someone would think if they came down now?"
He peers up at her over his book before looking back down; "That I put a cheering charm on you?"
"No- I mean what would they think about us?" She emphasises the last word.
"What about us?"
"Well, we're down here, after everyone is in their dorms- asleep like, well, like normal people"
He frowns at her.
She sighs and moves to sit in front of him.
"I mean, we hated each other right? And now we're what? friends?"
He stares at her, an unreadable expression on his face. "I never hated you" he says quietly.
She stares back at him, like so many times recently she feels in danger of getting lost in his eyes. She clears her throat.
"Right. But we weren't exactly always civil were we? So, imagine someone like Davenport coming down and finding us like this- what would she think? What would anyone think?"
"Other than I might have confounded you?"
She frowns. He smiles.
"Lily" he says with a hint of exasperation "We've been spending nearly ALL our time together for the past three months- I think it's too late to wonder if people are confused by our ... friendship"
She nods "you're right." Of course he's right. But what if someone thought they were more than friends? What if ...?
"Can you imagine what would happen if they thought we were dating?"
He looks up so fast; she's surprised he doesn't pull a muscle. "What would happen?" He asks just as fast.
She shakes her head and looks down laughing; a twinkling sound that she doesn't know sets his heart off.
"Oh, isn't it obvious?" she wants to say when she looks up- but the words get caught in her throat.
He's staring at her now, and the whole room shifts with the intensity of the gaze. The lights seem to dim- was it always that dark? The flames of the fire dance illuminating their faces.
Their faces which are now only inches away from each other, she looks into his hazel eyes, eyes that she had once considered ordinary- how could she have done? They were anything from ordinary, she knew that now; they were warmest of hazels, reminding her of comfort and chocolate and love.
"What would happen?" he asks "if we did…" his voice soft, a whisper. She shivers despite the heat of the fire blazing besides her. She could feel them now, all the thoughts, the emotions she had been trying so desperately to keep locked away- they were seeping out, unlocked by the intensity of his eyes.
She closes her eyes; what would happen if he asked again and she answered not with a hex, not with a resounding NO but a small, sweet yes…
"All hell would break lose" she finally says and the tension begins to slowly ebb away. She decides to try and not look into his eyes now- eyes were dangerous it seemed- especially hazel ones that were so…
"You're right, of course" He says a small smile on his face.
He looks at her and she notices a fleck of gold in his eyes, before she turns to examine the carpet- a much better to thing for her eyes to admire, safer at least.
"I can imagine it" She hears him say "Sirius would throw a fit, we'd probably even have McGonnagal weak at her knees…"
She smiles; "I'd be the subject of taunting's from your fan club" she leans back on her hands now, her red hair falling behind her.
He rolls his eyes at her words but smiles; "Mike Dawson would thump me"
She snorts; "Can you imagine the gossip?"
"The whispers would never end…"
She shivers "It would be a living hell"
"Hell" he agrees.
She stops scrutinizing the frayed carpet and looks up at him; his eyes are void of that ever present sparkle, instead they hold an intensity that she has never seen in them before- she feels like he's looking into her soul, smouldering her- reaching right through her, into her heart, her soul...
She doesn't mind, instead she thinks at that moment she would do anything for him, he could take her heart, he could take her soul. Who needed one anyway?
He doesn't ask for her soul, but he does move slightly closer, taking a stray piece of hair and moving it from her eyes, their noses are practically touching. How did she let her get herself here? How was she practically in his lap?
She doesn't know. She doesn't even care. Not anymore.
Not when his lips are on hers, not when everything falls away and she realises just how long she wanted this. To be able to hold him, feel him, to pull him closer and let her hands roam in his Oh so messy hair.
She closes her eyes, relishing the moment and allows herself to think about what it would be like if they did date, she saw it all, she watched herself hold his hand in the corridors, the very hands that were now travelling down her back and it didn't feel wrong it felt Oh so right. She imagines being able to kissing him like this whenever she wanted, she imagines sitting with him and laughing and immersing herself in the happiness that was James.
"Hell" she repeats.