Season 1 episode 5 lieutenant Adventures 17 September 1999 TARDIS Part 3.
Ezmerelda: "How is this the TARDIS?"
Lieutenant: "Trenzalore. The biggest cemetary in the galaxy. The TARDIS was dead. I regenerated it's control room. getting rid of my body...that's a paradox. It will replace itself with another future me's TARDIS and body."
Ezmerelda: "What's regeneration?"
Lieutenant: "Oh er...Humans use this process to heal their bodies once every seven years. Time Lords use this process to heal their bodies when they're dying. We call it survival. Others call it cheating death and we change our bodies. We call these bodies incarnations."
Ezmerelda: "What incarnation are you in now then?"
Lieutenant: "Oh er...1st."
Ezmerelda: "Oh and what age are you?"
Lieutenant: "66 years old."
Ezmerelda: "Why tell me all this and then tell me something human?"
Lieutenant: "Well...it's true. Ok so that's the way it is. And before i die of very old age and you die of old age, I have one more trick up my sleeve."
Ezmerelda: "Will it work?"
Lieutenant: "Dunno. But it's worth a try." flips switches.
TARDIS: makes horrible noises.
Lieutenant: "Doesn't sound good."
Ezmerelda: "What?"
Lieutenant: "She's just been ressurected. She's parched. No fuel. Not to worry. I have a spare...unless I used it somewhere in my future." Looks for fuel in the living quarters of the TARDIS. "Nope none here. I'll try...the bar. I'll try the bar."
10 minutes later.
Lieutenant: "No fuel but the TARDIS runs on alcohol too. I'll just fill it up with a shot of vodka." Flips switches. "Oh yes. I am bright. Off we go."
The TARDIS dematerialises from Trenzalore. Meanwhile in Pall Mall.
Professor: "And what did he mean by see you soon?"
Doctor: "He just said..." Cut off by surprise.
The TARDIS materialises beside them.
Doctor: "Oh my God. Lieutenant, that's a paradox. You should never have done that."
Lieutenant: "Well I wasn;t going to do of very old age was I? I have things to do. Now which one of these is mine? I know!"
The TARDIS dematerialises and rematerialises beside a phone box. Lieutenant: Steps out. "Aah. Here it is." Goes into it and brings out red paint. Paints the old TARDIS. Runs into it and flips switches. Runs out. The TARDIS dematerialises.
Ezmerelda: "Did you send it back to Trenzalore?"
Lieutenant: "No. To Gallifrey."
Doctor: "Oh my God Lieutenant. You restarted your life."
Lieutenant: "Ish."
Doctor: "Ha...yeah...ish."
Lieutenant: "And that's my vortex manipulator." Picks up and puts into pocket. "Alright you lot. Get into the TARDIS.
The End.
The Lieutenant Roger Bowen Ezmerelda Hartingale Beth Morris The Unofficial Professor Fred MacMurray The Doctor Paul McGann River Song Alex Kingston The Corsair Woody Pith-Artistique With special thanks to Jack Hickey and the BBC.
Main writer and producer Liam Hickey.
Ezmerelda: "How is this the TARDIS?"
Lieutenant: "Trenzalore. The biggest cemetary in the galaxy. The TARDIS was dead. I regenerated it's control room. getting rid of my body...that's a paradox. It will replace itself with another future me's TARDIS and body."
Ezmerelda: "What's regeneration?"
Lieutenant: "Oh er...Humans use this process to heal their bodies once every seven years. Time Lords use this process to heal their bodies when they're dying. We call it survival. Others call it cheating death and we change our bodies. We call these bodies incarnations."
Ezmerelda: "What incarnation are you in now then?"
Lieutenant: "Oh er...1st."
Ezmerelda: "Oh and what age are you?"
Lieutenant: "66 years old."
Ezmerelda: "Why tell me all this and then tell me something human?"
Lieutenant: "Well...it's true. Ok so that's the way it is. And before i die of very old age and you die of old age, I have one more trick up my sleeve."
Ezmerelda: "Will it work?"
Lieutenant: "Dunno. But it's worth a try." flips switches.
TARDIS: makes horrible noises.
Lieutenant: "Doesn't sound good."
Ezmerelda: "What?"
Lieutenant: "She's just been ressurected. She's parched. No fuel. Not to worry. I have a spare...unless I used it somewhere in my future." Looks for fuel in the living quarters of the TARDIS. "Nope none here. I'll try...the bar. I'll try the bar."
10 minutes later.
Lieutenant: "No fuel but the TARDIS runs on alcohol too. I'll just fill it up with a shot of vodka." Flips switches. "Oh yes. I am bright. Off we go."
The TARDIS dematerialises from Trenzalore. Meanwhile in Pall Mall.
Professor: "And what did he mean by see you soon?"
Doctor: "He just said..." Cut off by surprise.
The TARDIS materialises beside them.
Doctor: "Oh my God. Lieutenant, that's a paradox. You should never have done that."
Lieutenant: "Well I wasn;t going to do of very old age was I? I have things to do. Now which one of these is mine? I know!"
The TARDIS dematerialises and rematerialises beside a phone box. Lieutenant: Steps out. "Aah. Here it is." Goes into it and brings out red paint. Paints the old TARDIS. Runs into it and flips switches. Runs out. The TARDIS dematerialises.
Ezmerelda: "Did you send it back to Trenzalore?"
Lieutenant: "No. To Gallifrey."
Doctor: "Oh my God Lieutenant. You restarted your life."
Lieutenant: "Ish."
Doctor: "Ha...yeah...ish."
Lieutenant: "And that's my vortex manipulator." Picks up and puts into pocket. "Alright you lot. Get into the TARDIS.
The End.
The Lieutenant Roger Bowen Ezmerelda Hartingale Beth Morris The Unofficial Professor Fred MacMurray The Doctor Paul McGann River Song Alex Kingston The Corsair Woody Pith-Artistique With special thanks to Jack Hickey and the BBC.
Main writer and producer Liam Hickey.