Masaka
A Cardcaptor Sakura Fanfic by Eldebo
Inspired by a reply on the Shoujo-ai.com forum
Author's notes: I will admit that I do not know the entire canon story of CCS, but I hope I can have this story occur somewhere around the, hmm, let's call it the "middle". Please read and review, and don't hold back. I do plan on finishing the story, but I'd like to see if I'm on the right track. Thanks!
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My first waking thought was that the Sun, as beautiful and giving as it was, could be just a tad too bright at times. I freed a hand from my bed sheets to give my eyes some relief. Then I smiled to myself. I shouldn't complain. If it's bright and sunny outside, that means that Sakura and I won't be rained out this weekend!
Speaking of which.
"Good morning, Sakura!" I called out to one of the many pictures of her I have on my wall. Her smile, frozen in time but still so warm, greeted mine.
"Guess I'll see you in a little while!"
Picnics with Sakura were always the best. Especially on days like this with good lighting conditions. My favorite model would definitely afford me some great shots today, I had thought to myself. Thinking of that, I walked over to the unfinished battle costume hanging from a hook on my wall. It was a really cute Chinese-style outfit that was inspired by Shaoran's. I couldn't wait to see the two of them standing side by side with Sakura wearing this. There were still a few touches—hmm. Actually, I thought, it still needed a lot of work. I silently hoped that a Clow Card didn't surface anytime soon because my poor Cardcaptor wouldn't have a thing to wear! It was so dreadful when one appeared and she was wearing that boring school uniform. Honestly, those Cards have absolutely no timing. Ah, well.
The remainder of the morning was simply in the way. I dutifully ate my small breakfast—I was being careful to leave room for the delicious lunch that Sakura said she was preparing for our picnic. Then I walked over to the counter to my latest and greatest confectionary triumph. As I uncovered the chocolate cake and breathed in its sweet aroma, I could already hear Kero-chan's compliments on another Daidouji masterpiece. I smiled to myself. I was so glad that I could make such delicious treats for my best friends… and then get good shots of them eating it, too!
"Miss, it is time for your appointment."
I turned around to greet one of the bodyguards. They always could sneak up on me like that, but it really didn't bother me. "Hai! I am ready to leave immediately, please," I said with a bow. Bless these women for putting up with me so much. Sakura said she would meet me at the park today instead of walking together from my place as we usually do. We had agreed to meet at the park at noon but her poor memory neglected to remind her that she had some chores that morning. I told her it was no trouble for me to just meet her at the park.
I frowned at the memory as I followed my guardian to the car. There was something odd in that exchange, but I couldn't put my finger on it. When I told her it was no problem, there was an instant--a brief instant--where it looked like she had just gotten away with something. Then it was gone. I saw it, I knew I saw it, but I didn't say anything.
As my protector opened the door and I climbed into the sedan, a thought occurred. Maybe Yukito had stayed overnight or something and Sakura-chan wanted to prolong that bliss of hers whenever he was around. I reminded myself to chide her if that were the case—she didn't have to worry about it so much. I knew how 'gaga' she was over him. But it wasn't long before my thoughts of conspiracy brought in Shaoran to replace Yukito. I giggled to myself, causing my chauffeur to raise an eyebrow before closing the door. It was so cute to see him blush around her. But as it was, the boy's bravery was all in Cardcaptoring and none in professing his feelings to a beautiful, caring girl. I sighed with regret that it was taking so long for him to offer his heart to her. If he didn't hurry it up, some other boy was bound to take her from him.
The engine came to life and we began to move. I made sure the cake was balanced and secure in my lap and my ever-present camera was charged and ready. I couldn't stop smiling. Today was going to be a really good day.
There she was! Cake dish in my hands and digital camera perched on top I made my way over to Sakura-chan. She watches me as I approach. Funny, she usually waves me over when she spies me. A while back we had found a rather secluded area away from the hustle and bustle of the main park. Surrounded by her sisters, a gorgeous, grand old tree would always provide us shelter from the sun and the wind. It quickly became our favorite spot. Whenever we were alone, Sakura-chan found it easier to talk to me about things more personal, like how the little things Yukito did made her so immeasurably fond of him. Sometimes, she allowed herself to gush about just how strong Shaoran was in the last capture, and that if he hadn't been there, the Card might have gotten away or caused more damage than it had. I always loved to get that on film. One day I would have to splice all of her compliments on his skill together and then ask Sakura if I could show it to him. On second thought, maybe I'd be a little imp and show it to him without telling her. He needed a little push, after all.
I'm so wrapped up in my Sakura / Shaoran scenario that I don't even realize that I've made it to the tree. I had been looking at Sakura the whole time I was walking, but its only then that I see that she isn't her usual self. She's smiling to be sure, and I loved to see that smile. However, it wasn't the one I was used to. It was dim and reserved, not bright and vibrant. I focused on her eyes, and was there as well. She was nervous. I could tell.
But why?
"Good afternoon, Sakura-chan! I am honored that you would spend some time with me today!" I bowed low and put a little extra "sugar" into my greeting hoping that it would ease her mood.
"Good afternoon, Tomoyo-chan."
That wasn't a very cheerful response. My smile dropped. Something was definitely wrong.
She quickly bowed and after a second she giggled. Nervously. What was going on here? It was time to call her on it.
"Sakura-chan? Is something the matter?"
It looked like it was the last question she wanted to hear. I continued to gaze into her eyes looking for answers while waiting for her to voice one.
"No, no, nothing's wrong, Tomoyo-chan!"
Come on, Sakura, I thought, you know me better than that. I set the cake on the blanket Sakura had laid out for us and I dramatically glanced around, asking, "Is the Almighty Seal Beast gracing us with his presence today?"
Another nervous giggle escaped her lips. "N-no, I asked… well, he decided not to come today."
Bad save, Sakura. You asked him not to come?
"Really?" I prompt.
"Y-yeah." She scratched the back of her head and looked rather sheepish. Her smile was faltering. For some reason, the longer we stood there the more it seemed she was thinking this picnic wasn't a good idea. What was making her so antsy? Then I remembered my musings from the car trip. I let myself smile again. If that was what was bothering her so much…
"Sakura-chan seems so preoccupied this morning. Perhaps you had a delightful breakfast with Yukito-san?"
"Hoe?"
"If that is what kept you from walking with me this morning, it's quite all right." Then I decided to make a point. "Besides, you're always in such a good mood after spending time with Yukito-san, ne?"
"Um, I haven't seen Yukito-san today." That shot that theory out of the sky. But then something strange flickered in her expression. "I'm so sorry, Tomoyo-chan, that you had to meet me here. I'm really sorry!"
Now why would she think I would be upset? I couldn't take it anymore. I took a step towards her and placed my hand on her shoulder. At my touch, she gasped. And blushed. It was such an odd reaction from her. I've always touched her like that; there was nothing unusual about it. But that time, it seemed to bother her.
"Tomoyo-chan…"
"Sakura-chan, what's bothering you? Please tell me. What's wrong?"
As I looked into her deep emerald eyes, I could see something happening in her head. There was something weighing on her soul, something very important, and her eyes told me that it had something to do with me. I stood silent as I waited for her pondering if I had done something to make her upset.
Please, Sakura, I begged wordlessly. Talk to me.
She twitched a little. It was hard for me to sort all of these incoming signals as I struggled to understand what was wrong with her. Was she about to relay to me some horrible news? Kero-chan, had he been somehow injured in a capture? Had something unthinkable happened to Shaoran, Yuki, or, heaven forbid, her father?
"Let's sit, Tomoyo-chan."
I felt her trembling hand gently take mine as she lowered herself to the blanket. The anxiety I felt through her hand was palpable.
As I sat next to her, she fixed her gaze downward. For a moment I considered lifting her chin up to keep her looking at me so I could read her better, but I let it be.
If only I had known what was about to happen, I wondered if I could have been better prepared. Looking back, I know that there was nothing I could have done to prepare for the things she was about to say.
She spoke.
"The other night… I had a dream about you."
I felt my face color a little. "Really? I hope it was a pleasant one."
She simply nodded. "Un."
"So, tell me what happened?" I prompted.
For a brief moment, she looked at me. Then I felt her gently squeeze my hand.
"It was a very strange dream, but…"
"Yes?"
"It made me realize that I have something to tell you."
I blinked a few times.
The way she said that, the wordless messages I've been getting from her, it was all funneling into a conclusion that I refused to believe was true. No. That can't be it. For the first time that day, for the first time in a very long time, I felt dread creeping into me. A storm was approaching, and I wanted to take cover. But I couldn't. I was trapped. I couldn't do a thing.
She looks at me again, and that time, I could see right through them straight into her heart. And what I saw terrified me.
This can't be. This cannot be. I couldn't fathom it at all. What possessed her to think this way? What possessed her to act this way? What possessed her to look at me like that?
And then it happened. The words came out of her mouth. It was like a dam bursting—there was nothing I could do to stop the flow of this.
"Tomoyo-chan, forgive me, but I… I think I'm in love with you."
Masaka.