It was night time. Joker slid his hands into his pockets, looking down at the earth below his shoes. Still fresh. He sneered at it before looking up to the big house not too far away. There weren't many lights on. Just a few rooms. Presumably where that old man lived now. He looked back down at the headstone, perfect and gleaming under the moonlight.

"You're not dead." Joker drawled, crouching down and taking his hands out of his pockets so his forearms could rest on his knees. "How many times I've put your life in danger. How many ways I did it. You're not dead because of some bomb some bimbo created with her monster." Joker hissed and spit, snarling at the grave, going from perfectly calm to perfectly pissed off in a split second.

"Now they're dead. I made sure. I triple, quadruple checked. Did the leg work myself, Batsy. And if they weren't dead, you know I would have killed them. As soon as I heard Gotham was having… problems, I left Arkham. Did you know that? They had a break out. Just little ol' me. Of course, it wasn't on the news. More pressing matters were at hand." Joker licked his lips, tasting make-up, not caring.

"And then you went missing, Batsy. I couldn't get into the city. Too many cops. Too many bridges blown out. Too many guns, too well trained. The bimbo and bozo did their work well, didn't they?" Joker said disdainfully. "But of course, I could have done it better. Would have done it better." He leaned back, sitting down on the grass, plucking some of it from the freshly turned earth.

"Not that I would have actually destroyed Gotham." Joker rolled his eyes. "It's our playground. We can't play with no playground." Duh. Joker crossed his arms over his chest, frowning.

"So you saved Gotham. So where are you, Batsy, baby?" Joker pouted. "I'll go out of business if you aren't around. Who's going to chase me? Commissioner Gordon? Tch." He shook his head. "He's not nearly as fun as you are. Or as classy. Or as handsome." Joker sighed.

"I heard you found a squeeze when you came back. Is she pretty, Batsy? I hope so. I hope I can get rid of her, too." Joker frowned. "I hate it when you bring one. Makes me feel left out." He plucked more grass, tearing it between his fingers.

"Speaking of that, where were you, for those years? I was in Arkham. Minding my own business. Didn't even cause trouble while I was there." He said proudly. Well, there was that cafeteria worker he killed. And the nurse. And that other nurse. And a few other inmates. He'd lost count. "It made me a little crazy not to see you every day. On the news. They never even asked about you. Never said a word about poor ol' Brucey." Joker blinked. "I missed you. I thought maybe if I killed a few people, you'd notice me. Guess not. You never came. Not once. Not even a letter."

"You know I called a few times? Got myself a monthly phone call. I never called you too often, of course. Unmasking you to the public would be fun, but only in the short term. Then you might not be able to come and play with me anymore. So I called and I talked crazy talk to your answering machine because that's what they expected of me."

Joker fell silent, listening to the crickets and the night birds.

"You'll come back." He sighed. "You have to." He swallowed. "If you don't, I'll be lonely. And you can't do that to me, Batsy. It's not fair. How come you went before me? How come all the good ones have to die? Batsy, you were the very best. I guess it makes sense, then. But you and me, we're alike. Alike enough that you should still be alive." Batman was just dark enough to not be granted death.

"I always was supposed to go first, y'know." Joker growled playfully. "I was gonna go out with a bang. I was gonna make you a hero when I did it. Because Gotham treats its heroes real nice. I was gonna let everyone see the Batman break his number one rule. And a bad man would die, and only the bad man. No victims, no hostages. Quiet, in that sense. Just you and me. Personal. But people would know, after. Somehow. I'd figure out something."

"But now you're the one who's gone, Brucey. You even went out with a real bang." Joker licked his lips again. "So now what do I do? Fuck with the mob again? Baby that's so out of style these days. And the Police are all too up-tight." Joker shifted, disgruntled.

"I could have been your inside man, Batsy. You ever thought about it before? I know you have. You must have. Us working together. Me getting to blow something up in exchange." Joker sighed heavily, over-dramatically. "I don't have much time, Batsy. If I don't go soon, they'll find me. They've gotten better in your absence. They saw my calling card and they knew all my secret places. Made me mad. They were too busy to do their job right, though. I got away real easy."

Joker giggled, hiccupped. Stood.

"Come back, Batsy. Pretty please?"

Joker put his hands in his pockets, turning and starting to walk away. He grinned widely, still ignoring the tears that ran down his face.

I ship this.

Just a short little drabbly thing. It was hard to decide whether or not to end it here- there was an alternate ending where Batman all up and surprises him by melting out of the shadows like 'lol I'm not dead loser'. XD But I think this way went well, too. .w.

The whole time of TDKR I was like 'Joker come save him. BE A GOOD GUY IN A BAD WAY AND COME SAVE HIM' But alas, t'was not to be. XD

Anywhosiewhatsit. I hope you like! 8D