Disclaimer: I own nothing but that perverted mind. Everything else is Eiichiro Oda property (Lucky old man...)
Enjoy!
"Hey, Sanji, Zoro!"
"You two idiots, come and help for love's sake!"
"Yeah, Naaaami!!!"
"Witch…"
"Marimo, say that again and you will have to face me…"
"Oh, I'm chickening…"
"I'm shocked…I thought your own mental vocabulary could contain no more than four words: sword, sleep, booze and… SHITHEAD!"
"Stop bitching, love-cook, and start moving your little whiny ass!"
"I swear on your sorry balls that I'll kick the shit outta you…"
"Wishful thinking, dartboard eyebrows…"
"Would you mind cutting it? I need you to carry the—" Nami tried.
"You know what? You're not worth my time… I don't even know why I answer to your teasing…"
"Maybe because you're the one starting it, love-cook!"
"Just because your goddamned face makes me to!"
"What's up with my face now? It's you the one who have a questioning mark on his forehead!"
Eventually Nami took control on the situation and smacked them over their heads, murmuring something about 'stupid cooks and swordsmen' and 'old married couples' all the way from the deck to the girls room. Usop, Chopper and Luffy approached the two dreadful straw hat's components that now were laying emotionless on the grassy deck of the Thousand Sunny and started poking at them, but the little reindeer stopped still for a second.
"W-what if they wake up, now?"
"Naaa, they won't!!"
As a matter of fact, they did.
--
The rest of the day passed by, as normally as ever, with Robin reading, Franky singing, Nami drawing maps and Usop drawing pictures of them all, Chopper experimenting, Luffy bouncing, Zoro probably sleeping somewhere and Sanji... the cook was actually observing all of them: he took sometime to have a smoke while the roast he prepared for dinner was in the oven and was now leaning placidly against the railing. He breathed deeply: tobacco, salt and…what was that smell? Sanji furrowed his brows and decided to discover what the hell was determined to ruin his only peaceful moment; he walked along the kitchen's external wall, getting astern. The cook looked down, meeting eye briefly with the sitting figure.
"What the hell are you doing? Jerking off your swords?" He himself had to admit it has been way too rough. A vein popped over Zoro's forehead, but he said nothing: he let fall some drops of steel polish over the blade of Wado, tilting it slightly forward to let the thick liquid slid on it. The swordsman watched it intently almost forgetting that the cook was still there: his green eyes moved from the blade to a piece of cloth that laid in a short distance from him, he was about to reach for it when a pale hand grasped it first and handed the white rag to him.
"Here…"
His way to say sorry.
Zoro nodded, smiling mentally, and took it from the cook's hand: their eyes locked together for a second but then Sanji calmly walked away.
"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, wash your hands, muscledhead…".
--
Zoro walked to the kitchen and waved back to Chopper who was jumping on the grass to make himself noticeable for the swordsman. He grinned and Zoro grinned back and then he realized it was a trap. Fuck.
Luffy jumped on him from the crow nest and he was crashed against the wooden floor.
"You bastards!"
At that Usop stopped laughing, Luffy stood up and Chopper screamed, and the all of them started running for their life.
"I told you guys, Zoro is too stupid: even if we do it every day, he forgets!"
The door of the kitchen opened and Sanji popped his head out. "Dinneeeeer, Rooobin, Naaaaaami, dinner is ready, my loooove!!!" then he cleared his throat.
"Oi, bunch of shits, dinner! Oh, my dear Robin! Of curse I wasn't talking about you! Franky! Yes… you were in the bunch I was talking about. Naaaami! Please take a seat beloved ladies!!"
"Hey, cook!"
Sanji lifted his eyebrow at Franky who took his glasses off and they stared at each other. But then…
"Alright, I need cola…"
The cook smirked and shook his head. "Marimo, stop running with those nerds or I will give you a real reason for running!"
"Shuddup!!"
Sanji turned to the table and jumped.
"Luffy, how the hell you managed--??" He drifted off.
"He has been in here since you opened the door, I guess…" Robin answered.
"Should have imagined…"
Usop and Chopper entered but he stopped them.
"Hands."
"But Luffy—"
"Just because Luffy's place is in a museum with a club and a nice fur wrapped around him doesn't mean –"
"Whuattaclab? (What is a club)" he spitted some of the roast he had in his mouth over the table and Nami clenched her fists dangerously.
"A thing I'll soon shove up your ass"
Luffy swallowed. "Zoro! What is a club?"
"An association…maybe…"
"You're such a shit head…"
"Franky!! What is it, what is it??"
"A club… Oh! A night club, c'mon you should have got it too!" Franky smirked and so did Zoro.
"What do they do in a night club??"
"Oh well, you can ask for diff—"
"Enough you guys!! Eat in silence!"
That's what women are made for.
The crew ate dinner and not even Luffy spoke; a man who was going to be the King of the pirates was afraid to death of that damned woman, you can imagine Usop situation: he was still hyperventilating.
The burp that erupted from Luffy throat signalled the end of the dinner.
"Hey Marimo, help me with the dishes…"
"'R ya kiddin'?"
Sanji slipped the sake bottle from Zoro's fingers and waved it in front of his eyes.
"No helping, no booze…"
"Blackmailing bastard…"
--
Near the sink, the two men exchanged the same actions of every after-dinner; Sanji washed, Zoro dried, always the same. Rarely they would say something to each other, but maybe that night was different.
"Oi…"
"Mmmh?"
"Would you mind having a look at the knives?"
Zoro blinked.
"A-alright…"
"Good, because even thought I sharpen them—"
"—They suck…"
"Well, I wouldn't have put it up like this, but yeah…"
"It's just because you have to know how to do it, I'll take care of that…"
"Ok…"
"But, why haven't you bought new ones when we left?"
"Nami cut off all the out-of-pocket expenses…"
"Witch…"
"Hey, don't say that."
"I really don't know why you keep being her slave…"
"Because I'm a slave of love…"
"…you don't know what you're talking about…"
This time was Sanji's turn to blink before Zoro hang his towel on the hook and walked off.