Johanna lay on the hard stone floor, staring at the ceiling. The walls were boring to look at, all uniform gray without the slightest mark. But the ceiling had a small hatch that Johanna knew would open, soon, and water would pour out, and a voice would speak through hidden loudspeakers, and the electricity would pulse through the water.
She didn't know how they were questioning Peeta or Annie, but she knew that they had no information to give. Finnick had kept Annie mostly innocent when it came to the rebels, and Peeta was completely clueless. And Johanna knew that she could last through the torture, until opportunity came for her to escape.
That was how she thought of it. An opportunity. She refused to think that she needed someone to save her. That was what Peeta and Annie were probably waiting for. Waiting for their Finnick and Katniss to come for them. Well, no one would save Johanna Mason. She would probably just be saved as a second thought, like she always was.
Every victor has thought of this before. Wondering if it was worth it, to keep living. Johanna knew a few who committed suicide – their deaths were always covered up by the Capitol, and their loved ones targeted – but it wasn't until now that she fully contemplated the idea of ending it, right here. No one would really miss her – she would just be another victor, another soldier lost to the rebel cause.
If Peeta and Annie were thinking the same thing, they would come to a different conclusion. They had someone to live for. Meanwhile, Johanna's mother had been killed, her cousin reaped, her father lost, and… Her family had been especially targeted by the Capitol. Right… She did have a reason to live – she wouldn't die without paying her respects to President Snow. Someone had to make him pay, for everything he had caused.
Thinking about it, Johanna almost wanted to laugh. Peeta and Annie were holding on for love. She was holding on for revenge.
Well, what does that matter, Johanna thought with scorn. Since when has love ever given me any happiness, anyway?