People don't know how you feel... unless you tell them. Those words, and the look that followed, kept echoing round his mind long after Laura left the pub and he returned to work. How they made him feel tugged at his subconscious, but the memory wouldn't come. The case was too close, too personal for James and he focused his mind back to work.
The case ended in a rush that same night; evidence and instincts working to piece the whole, sordid story together. The following morning found him back at the scene - arrests made, statements taken and a body found. The only unfinished part was James. "I'm going to hand in my papers" James said. Laura's words came back to him, but he couldn't just say don't, I want you to stay. So he excused James's behaviour, told him "you're not to blame". Made them a team with "between us we make a not bad detective" and tried to lighten the mood with "I'm the brains, obviously" . Judging by the small laugh and the look he got in response, James would be OK. As he looked across the gardens, he was relieved he hadn't had to say anything too emotional, he really wasn't very good with - wait say anything. That was the memory he couldn't find. Laura had once said "you can say anything to me" when he was worried about being politically correct. With a smile on her face, and in her eyes. With a smile of his own, he took James back to the station.
While dealing with paperwork from this case and catching up on their other cases, Laura's words kept coming back to him. You can say anything to me, people don't know how you feel unless you tell them. It felt like they were on a loop in his head - you can say anything, people don't know how you feel, tell them, you can say anything... the order slipped, became tell them how you feel, say anything to me, tell them... changed again into say anything, tell me how you feel . He put his pen down, leaning back into his chair. Tell Laura how he felt. Is that what he wanted, is that what his subconscious wanted him to do? Did she want him to? He knew he cared more than he should as her friend. She was the one he bounced theories off when stuck on a case, she was who he spoke to when worried about James and she was who he rang just because he could. They'd been for drinks, and meals after work. Spent off duty afternoons strolling along the river, calling in at a pub for liquid refreshment. And after dealing with horrible cases, they often shared a takeaway at Laura's - neither wanting to be home alone with their thoughts, but not wanting the effort or noise that went into eating out. He'd always assumed she was just being a good friend. Laura was one of the few people in his life that knew him from before Val's death. She had looked out for him when he returned, was always putting her hand on his arm or shoulder in comfort. Those touches had continued, but now they were accompanied by a smile or a smirk instead of sympathy. He had pushed aside the feelings that those touches awoke, cursed himself for the thoughts that followed, but maybe he had been wrong. Maybe, just maybe, Laura's unless you tell them wasn't aimed at James.
He managed to get through the rest of the day, but as soon as he was home he picked up the phone. "Hey, its me - don't suppose I can tempt you to the pub?" He heard Laura's sigh, had resigned himself to a microwave dinner, when she said "its been a tough day Robbie, make it a takeaway here and you've got a deal". He grinned, pleased she couldn't see the relief that washed over him. She added " can you give me an hour? I feel the need for a bath to soak the day away with a large glass of wine before having to get ready for company". He laughed at her, "I'm not company, I'm just me" "I know" she said "but I still need an hour". After agreeing on food, they hung up. Laura to go and soak in an indulgent bubble bath, Robbie to have a quick shower. He spent the rest of the time moving around, unable to settle at anything, before looking at his watch and rushing out of the door.
By unspoken agreement they didn't discuss work while they ate. They talked about other, happier things while sampling each others meals. Robbie drank from his glass of wine, smiling as Laura talked to him. She had been quiet when he arrived, her eyes telling him that the bath had only washed some of her day away. But as the night progressed she had brightened, her smiles getting wider and now he was pleased to see her laugh as she repeated some local gossip, her eyes sparkling with mischief. She caught his eye, realised he wasn't paying attention and said " what are you thinking?" "Nothing, just that you look better than you did when I got here, I'm pleased that you've perked up. I don't like seeing you upset". Laura picked up her glass and tilted her head as she looked at him " I'm pleased you rang. Left to my own devices I would have drunk your wine as well as mine, eaten rubbish instead of a decent meal and dwelled all night on things I can't change. This, with you, was much more fun". He couldn't find the words to reply, restricting himself to touching his glass to hers with a smile.
While clearing up after their meal, it was Robbie's turn to go quiet. After Laura's comment he had really wanted to tell her how he felt, but he had hesitated, and the moment was lost. As they stood in the kitchen Laura turned the conversation back to work. "Have you spoken to James since?" she asked. Relieved to have something to talk about, Robbie told her about following her advice, grinning as he repeated his "I'm the brains, obviously" comment. To his surprise she didn't laugh or make a sarcastic comment, but turned to face him, pressing her fingers into chest. "Don't sell yourself short Robbie, you are smart". He surprised himself when he placed his hand over hers, curling his fingers around hers. "You told me people don't know how I feel unless I tell them", he said as he took a step closer. He couldn't read Laura's expression; she was wide eyed and unsmiling, but he took comfort in the fact she hadn't pulled her hand away. " This is me, telling you" he said, reaching a hand up to rest against her cheek. Giving her time to pull away, he slowly lowered his head, placing his lips against hers. He pulled away slightly, before kissing her again, hoping she would understand the second kiss meant this wasn't just a kiss between friends. He tightened his grip on her hand when he felt her lips press back against his. As he lifted his head to see Laura's smiling face, he released her hand to wrap both arms around her, thrilled when he felt her arms encircle him. He couldn't resist leaning in to kiss her again, closing his eyes as he closed the distance between them. Just before their lips touched, he heard her say "took you long enough".