Hi, my name is Alice Cullen. I have this really big problem with my adopted brother, Jasper, or Jazz as I call him. We are the best of friends, but I will try to let you know my problem:
You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesn't get your humor like I do
I walked down the sidewalk, beside Jazz. He's on the phone with Jessica, his girlfriend. She is beyond pissed, over a joke Jazz told. She completely misunderstood it. I thought it was really funny, but she doesn't have the same kind of humor as us. I don't really see what he sees in her! Don't get me wrong! She is beautiful, but that's also about it. She is so shallow. He says it is love from them both, but I'm pretty sure, that she's just taking him for money and his good looking face and body. I know it isn't normal for a vampire to have a relationship with a human, but when Edward could be with Bella – then Jasper could be with Jessica, it was what Jasper meant, but I didn't think so. Bella was going to be vampire some day, and Edward knew that. Jazz had no intention to change Jessica, and thank God for that!
"Jess, I didn't mean it like that! You know that!" he said and sighed deeply. She shouted an answer into his ears.
"No, I didn't mean that! Yes, I know that," Jasper snarled. "Gosh stop it!" I wanted to shout, but kept my mouth shut. I didn't have to make it worse for Jazz.
"Goodbye Jessica Stanley," Jasper snapped his phone shut, and smiled apologizing to me.
"I'm sorry, she just misunderstood something. It was nothing," Jazz said trying to lie to me, but I knew him better than that.
"Stop lying, Jazz. We both know it's a lie," I said, shaking my head. This was destroying Jasper, but he wouldn't admit it.
"What's it to you?" he snapped. "It's everything!" a little voice shouted, and I wanted to yelled it out loud, but it would only make things worse so I kept my mouth shot. I was losing my Jazz, and I didn't like it, at all!
I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do
It's Tuesday night. Jasper is out with Jessica on some kind of reunion date. I didn't care, because it wasn't my Jazz. My Jazz would never do that! But Jessica had almost brainwashed my Jasper, but I knew, he was in there somewhere; I just had to look for him. I put my Muse album on, turned up the volume, and went to take a shower. I needed to relax, and I had found out that this was a good way to do it. I took a long shower, and it finally made me relax. I turned the water off, and wrapped a towel around myself. I walked into my room and went on into my closet, where I dropped my towel on a rack. I heard Jazz came home, but I didn't think anything about it. I thought he went to his room. We hadn't spoken to each other since he snapped at me. We were air to each other. There was some silence and then I heard someone in my room, plopping down on my bed. I quickly grabbed my towel from the rack, and held it in front of me. The Muse album had reached my favorite number; Supermassive Black Hole. I peeked out of my closet and saw Jazz on my bed with closed eyes. It was his favorite song too. Jessica didn't like them.
"I hate rap! I don't even understand why someone would like to listen to that kind of music! How can something, where they are talking to the music be good?" he groaned. This was my Jazz. The Jazz I knew and was so in love with, the Jazz who didn't like girls like Jessica.
"Umm… Hi Jazz," I said a little nervous. He could feel it, so he opened his eyes and looked over at me. I got a little flicker of a vision, where Jazz and I were in bed together, a happy couple, having sex.
"Jazz!" I said and hid behind the closet door. I'd like the vision, but I couldn't tell him that! I had to talk to Edward and Bella, mostly Bella.
"Sorry," he said and snapped out of it.
"Um…" Jazz was embarrassed.
"I'll take some clothes on in the closet. Make yourself home," I said backing back into the closet.
"Alice!" Jazz said, just before I closed the door.
"Yeah?" I asked and peeked out of the closet.
"I'm sorry," I knew what he meant.
"It's okay Jazz," I said, smiling, a sad smile, as I closed the door. Jasper didn't see it, or at least I hoped he didn't.
But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
dreaming about the day when you'll wake up and find
that what you're looking for has been here the whole time
It was Monday, and I stood in my closet wondering what to wear. Today Edward and Bella would be home, and I missed them. And then I still had to talk with them. I looked at some jeans, but ended up with an oversize t-shirt with some leggings under, and some sneakers. My make-up was very simple. Some black mascara and then some brown in the ends. It would make it look more real. That was pretty much it. I tried to think of a way to get around Jessica with as little contact as possible, but as much contact with Jasper as possible. And then I remembered that her class was out of town today.
"Oh great!" I groaned, and hit my head in my hands. Grumpy Jasper all day! Not fun!
"What's wrong Alice?" Jasper's concerned voice was slower than his arms.
"Nothing, I'm fine!" I assured him. He raised one of his perfect eyebrows. If my heart had been beating, it would act like Bella's, poor Bella.
"Alice, don't make me go downstairs to get Edward to tell me what's wrong," his voice troubled with my sudden urge to keep quiet with my feelings. He didn't like it.
"Please don't tell him Edward," I pleaded in my thoughts.
"I won't! But you have to explain later. To Bella and me!" he answered in a vision.
"Thanks! I'll tell you on the way to school," I told him, knowing he would remind me.
"I'll remind you," he answered – again in a vision.
"Alice, are you sure you're okay?" Jasper asked. He looked like he really cared for me – more than in a brother/sister way. I liked that too. I hoped Jessica would make something stupid, so Jasper would break up with her. So he could see that all he needed and all he wanted were right beside him. Me!
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
you belong with me
It was Tuesday, and this morning Jazz and Jessica again had another fight. Jasper was really depressed, and I couldn't let him be alone. He needed someone to talk to, and listen, without judging him. I fit perfectly in that role, so when I was about to choose what to wear, Jazz came into my room.
"Hi Jazz," I said, trying to find a way I could make him feel better.
"Hi," he said in a hoarse voice, like he had been crying – only he couldn't cry. He sat down on my bed, starting to sob – tearless very broken sobs.
"Jazz, oh my God. Are you okay?" I asked, dropping my jeans on the floor, and ran over to him. He shook his head.
"I'm going to tell Esme, we won't be going to school. Don't go," I said as I rushed down the stairs into the kitchen.
"Alice you have to change!" Esme sighed as she saw me.
"What?" Edward hissed trough his teeth. I just nodded, knowing he had read in my thoughts about Jazz and why I hadn't changed.
"Is it that bad?" he asked. I just nodded again.
"Can we have a spoken conversation here?" Emmet asked.
"Jasper is broken! He has moved into Alice room," Edward told the others.
"I told you not to move, Jasper. That means you have to sit still," I hissed. He didn't move again, for a while.
"What happened?" Esme and Carlisle asked at the same time, looking very concerned at the stairs were a broken Jasper came into sight. He just stared out in the blue, walking past them.
"Esme, is it okay, if Jasper and I skip school today?" I asked.
"Of course! Go save my son," she said, pushing me out of the door. I ran over to Jasper. She knew no one could understand him better than me. I had always been there, and I would always be there. He belonged to me, and I hoped he one day could understand that!
Walkin' the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin' to myself
Hey isn't this easy?
Later that day Jasper and I walked down the street heading nowhere. He had an old pair of worn out jeans. He was talking, and I was listening. Jessica had told him, she had cheated on him, with Mike. Jasper had asked why, and she had screamed at him, that she had need he wouldn't fulfill. He had answered that he had some things he just didn't compromise with.
"…And now I don't know if I should break that promise we made once. I'm so confused, and my brain is thinking; Why?!?! How could she do that to me? What did I do wrong?" Jazz said, lowering his head. I pulled him into my secret meadow. I'd showed it to Edward once, but that was in my head. I sat down on the damp grass. I thought about what I would say.
"Jasper, you couldn't have done anything different. It wasn't you who cheated on her. She cheated on you," I said weighing every word before I said it. He didn't answer any of it, and there was a comfortable silence.
"What about our promise?" he asked finally.
"It's up to you. I can't make that decision for you," I said, moving behind him. I hugged him tight, and we lay down in the damp grass. "Hey that was easy," I thought to myself. It was how we were supposed to be, without evil Jessica, who cheated on my Jasper. Without her, Jazz would be all mine.
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, What'cha doing with a girl like that?
Later, when it was twilight, Jazz and I decided to home. I had finally been able to make him smile my favorite smile. It took my breath away and knocked me of my feet. Seriously that boy could light the whole town up with that smile, but I hadn't seen the smile for a while, and it was nice to see it again. It means he is my Jazz. My first and last love and I couldn't do anything about it. On the way home a saw a vision of Jasper in a tux. He was going to be married to some lucky girl. That was just not fair. He was humming.
"You know what, Alice?" he asked while we walked, and with that he broke the silence.
"No, what Jasper?" I answered with a question.
"I think I have changed," he said, trying to read my emotions.
"I know you have changed," I said, and a sad smile played on the edges on the lips. He didn't see that, luckily.
"Better or worse?" he asked curious.
"What do you mean Jazz," I asked confused.
"Have I changed to the better or the worse?" Jasper asked, "Please, be honest."
"That depends…" I let the sentence trail of, letting him getting things he wanted out of the sentence.
"On what?" he demanded.
"I won't say it, because then you're going to hate me, and I don't want that," I answered.
"Please?" he asked letting his finger trace my cheekbones. That was weird! He had never done that before! I sighed.
"Okay then," I answered, "When you're with Jessica," I grimaced as I said the name, "you are not you."
"Don't get me wrong!" I added when I saw a hint of the anger I feared.
"You are still you, but you are just so evil to me. Sometimes I'm really considering if you hate me. But when we're alone you're the same old Jazz" I explained. I peeked over to look at his face. There was hurt written all over it.
"I shouldn't have said anything," I said and we both laughed into a dead sprint.
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
dreaming 'bout the day when you'll wake up and find
that what you're looking for has been here the whole time
When I came home I could hear high heels on wooden floor.
"Oh, great! Jessica's here," I groaned and walked up the stairs and went into my room plopping down on my bed with my pillows over my head. Jasper went into the living room. I knew what would happen now. Jasper would walk over to her and kiss her hello, and then they would be glued together for the rest of the time she was here. Forgot was the cheating, and he would never mention it again. Life would go on, like it had never happened. It was hard for me to realize, and it broke my heart. A high tune ripped me out of my thoughts.
"What?!?!?!" Jessica shrieked and went even two octaves higher.
"It's over Jessica. I've been thinking about it, and I think it's for the best," Jasper said, and I could hear the front door slammed against the wall, only to be closed with the same use of force. Mike had left.
"You're going to be sorry, Jasper Whitlock Hale!" Jessica threatened. Okay, now she'd just gone too far. One thing was threatening me and irritating me to death, but threatening my dearest thing in my existence, well then she crossed the line. I jumped up from my bed and grabbed my baseball bat and a crowbar on the way out of my room. I had used the crowbar when I had made my closet bigger. I came red glowering of anger to the staircase and stalked down it. I went directly over to Jessica.
"You can be threatening me! You can be irritating me to hell and all the way back! You can kick my ass, and beat me up any day. But do you as much as even pretend considering, considering to be threatening my family, irritate my family the slightest bit, or beat them up, then I'm going show you, what I can do with a crowbar, a baseball bat and a pair of stilettos on my feet," I spit at her. She laughed humiliated at me.
"Well, well, well, is little miss Cullen threatening me?" she asked. I glowered at her, and she got a scared look in her eyes. I could smell the adrenalin.
"No. I'm promising you this. And believe me, no matter what you do, you can't hide for me!" I said ice-cold. My family had never seen me like this. Carlisle stood frozen with a mask of shock written all over his face. Jasper's face was a concentrating mask. Edward's was was a grinning mask. The rest was horror.
"Leave!" I ordered Jessica, and I turned around and stalked out of the room.
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
standin' by, waiting at your back door
all this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me
you belong with me
Jasper followed me as I threw the crowbar and the baseball bat on the ground and he kept following me. In the end I wasn't angry anymore. Now I was the old hyper-Alice everybody knew and loved. I sat down on a stone bouncing up and down. Jasper came over to me and sat down beside me.
"Why would you do that for me?" he asked confused, still trying to read my feelings, but he hadn't words for the feeling I had for him.
"Because you belong to me!" I simply answered, and pushed him down the stone playfully. The look on his face was a million dollars worth, and I laughed and laughed.
Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.
A couple of days later, in the middle of the night, I was reading in a magazine, when Jazz peeked through the door.
"What's up Jazz?" I asked closing the magazine.
"You have time for a chat like the old day?" he asked.
"Sure. Come on in," I encouraged and padded on my bed. He came over to sit on my bed. Again he caressed my cheekbone, but this time he followed it all the way down to my collarbone. What was with him?
Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me
Two months later I came home from a friend's house, and found a letter for me. It was from Jasper.
"To my Alice, from Jazz," The envelope said. I opened and began to read.
Dearest Alice
I know this will come as a shock for you. Maybe even a bigger one that for the rest of our family, but I decided to leave. I need to gain control over my life again. I decided to leave in a flip of a coin, so that's probably why you didn't see it.
Don't blame yourself, because it wasn't even your fault. I'll promise to remember you.
If you can't find your pale pink oversize t-shirt then it's because I took it. It smelled of you, and I like that.
A stranger you were once.
Then, with a gentle look you took my hand.
As our lives engaged,
you lit my life and I held both your hands.
Now that decades have passed,
ours souls have indeed become one.
How fortunate we are
that we have found the love so true
that everyone dreams about.
Remember that I belong to you, but that your heart belongs to me.
I love you
Jasper
I broke down on the floor - my life was gone...