MAID OF HORROR

Ch. 1: Speak Now

I am not the kind of girl, Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion

But you are not the kind of boy, Who should be marrying the wrong girl...

This…

Is…

Wrong…

This is beyond wrong. There is no name for what I'm about to do. It is so wrong that I'm not even sure if I'm thinking anymore.

Back at my apartment it all made sense. When Patricia and Trish broke into my room, demanding me to explain myself, I knew I had to do something. I knew exactly what I had to do. It felt like this crazy idea of mine was the only right thing to do...

I had to stop this wedding.

But now…

As I see the people entering the church…

Well I'm not quite sure what I should do.

My guilty conscience demands me to explain myself. I have morals. I have pride and dignity. Yet the decision I am about to make is neither of these as I find myself crouching behind a bush.

I know it's stupid of me to do this. There's a small chance that he'll say yes and not to mention the humiliation I will feel if he does say no.

Because maybe I am scared that I'll get caught at any moment. And maybe the bush is a very predictable, horrible hiding place. But I can't go on pretending that he never meant anything to me. I can't go through the entire messy process of getting my life back together again.

So I just wait and hope for the best. Because that's all I can really do.

Everywhere I look people are talking. They all exchange fond gestures as they try to make the time pass by. I don't know a lot of them. Although it's easy to tell apart his family from hers.

After all, being his ex, I have met his mom… And his dad… And his forty cousins. Plus twice removed relatives… I still remember how his mom kept calling me her daughter in law even after we broke up. And every time I reminded her that her son and I had broken up, she would simply ignore me.

Although it doesn't help that her side of the family are all dressed in matching pastels. It's actually a little bit funny and impressive as they have somehow managed to get the same color in different hues.

I keep taking deep breaths every now and then to stop the panic attack that is on the verge of happening.

All I know is that if he would have told me last night that he wanted to get married, I would have jumped right in. Heck, I would have let Elvis pronounce us husband and wife in Las Vegas.

But no. He just has to make everything confusing and complicated!

Not that being his bride's Maid of Honor made things any easier…

I keep hiding in the shadows when I see him walk right in front of me into the church, and I can't help but have an internal battle with myself.

Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Maybe he doesn't even want me anymore. After all, he gave her the ring, and he gave me a heartache. He loves her, and she's definitely head over heels for him. Not to mention that I turned down every single opportunity he gave me to run away with him. Why would he stop the wedding now when every single time he tried I told him no?

Gosh, why did I have to be so stubborn!?

I'm trying to recalculate my plan when I hear the bridal march start to play. Yet to my ears it sounds more like a death march. And right on cue I see the bridesmaids start to line up.

I can hear the imaginary clock ticking away in my brain as I wonder why I didn't try calling him last night!

I'm trying to figure out a way into the church when I look up and see her.

Like always, she's beautiful. She's blinding to look at as the beads on her dress shine in the sun. Her hair is perfectly done along with her makeup. She seems to have popped right out of a magazine. And seeing her makes me doubt myself.

First of all, she's freaking Barbie in Miami. She has the blonde hair, the blue eyes, and the nice tan skin that most girls would die for. Not to mention she's tall.

I'm just plain old Ally Dawson. The girl with the dark hair, brown eyes, who will always struggle with her shortness. I used to chew my hair for heaven's sake! Not to mention that I tend to say the most awkward comments in the most importune moments.

Next to Barbie, I'm nothing.

And second of all, she has him. She has him wrapped around her fingers and has him in love with her. She's made sure that I would only be a long forgotten memory in his mind.

And it's because I know that he's so happy with her that I should let him free. It's selfish of me to stop this wedding.

After all, we both decided that the best thing we could do was to stay as friends; to simply move on. And trust me, I have tried. I have tried so hard to move on that I honestly thought I was going to break apart from trying.

Yet I can't stop myself from loving him. The same way that I can't let him marry the wrong girl.

I close my eyes in an attempt to get some courage. I know that a miracle needs to happen if I'm going to go talk to him. And before I know it, I am rushing to get inside the church through the back door.

Once I get inside the church I feel my heart speedup all over again.

Everyone's sitting down. The church is filled. Everything is planned out to the last detail. The groomsmen are lined up, and I am hiding behind the pillar trying to control my breath. It wouldn't do anyone good if I passed out right here.

Without a warning everyone stands up as the death march starts to play again on the organ. And this time my heart is beating out of my chest again for a different reason.

When the doors open it's a little bit blinding as my eyes adjust to the sudden light. But before I know it, the bridesmaids enter one by one and take their place at the alter. It's only after the fourth bridesmaid that she comes walking down just as graceful as she looks.

I can't help but stare at her. I keep looking at her with my mouth wide open from how graceful she looks. It's not until her father hands her off to him that I am able to move my eyes away.

I know at this moment that I am the crazy, stupid, hopeless romantic. I'm still wishing for a happy ending even when things are going horribly wrong. And it's all because of him.

I keep deciding when the right time would be to interrupt the wedding, yet at the same time I can't bring myself from stepping out of the shadows.

All my memories of him are blurred lines and figures that make up the past few months. They only confuse me more at this moment as I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Because to be honest I still don't know why we broke up. I don't know why I agreed to be his bride's Maid of Honor when I knew he was the groom. Heck, I don't even know why I said yes when Zayn proposed to me.

But what I do know is none of this would have happened if I had told Zayn that I didn't want to meet his cousin.

Because then I wouldn't have seen him again. I wouldn't be asking myself what if, and best of all, I would have not fallen, head over heels, in love with him all over again.

Instead I would still be content with my relationship with Zayn. I might have been married by now. I wouldn't be waking up in the middle of the night to curse him name.

All too soon I hear those terrifying words start to escape from the mouth of the priest.

This is it. It's now or never. There's no going back. But with shaky hands, a trembling voice, I slowly step out from my hiding place just as the priest finishes saying, "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

My throat is dry. And I hear gasps from everyone in the room as they all stare at me. Some people are whispering as others begin to stand up.

Yet all I can do is look at him as I see his eyes grow in surprise. He keeps opening and closing his mouth, unsure of what to say. Until he finally settles for, "Ally?"

When I hear my name come from his lips I want to disappear. I want to the floor to swallow me whole. I move my lips to start saying the speech I've prepared, but no words come out. Instead I'm wondering why I decided this was a good idea when the priest says, "Do you wish to speak or forever hold your peace?"

Finding little courage to speak, I nod my head. And before I can change my mind I say, "Austin… Don't say yes."

Now I have no clue what I'm going to do. Because if Austin does say no, I know it'll be the end of us. We won't be friends. We won't be partners. We will once again become complete strangers to one another. And if he does say yes… Well I'm not quite sure what happens after that. It's up to Austin to decide now.

And in this chaotic moment, I can't help but remember how it all happened as if it was only yesterday.