Hey guys. This is a little idea that sprang to mind one day, so I jotted it down :) It is part of my Pulsian Dating Etiquette universe, although you don't need to have read it to understand this (but, you know, you COULD read it. If you wanted to). Suffice to say that Fang and Lightning are a couple, and everyone relocated to Gran Pulse after the Fall of Cocoon. This is going to be a two-shot, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed coming up with it!

The sounds of birds chirruping outside of her window pulled Lebreau from her slumber. She groaned and rolled over, pulling her pillow over her head and burrowing herself into her sheets. The bed was so warm, and she was so very tired.

She managed to ignore the dawn chorus for a few minutes more, but the sound was incessant and it clearly wasn't going to stop any time soon. Damn the birds and their noise. How could something so cute and adorable incite so much violence in a person?

Lebreau threw the pillow off the bed and reluctantly pulled herself into a sitting position. "Alright, alright, I'm up," she mumbled. "Don't go on about it."

As she expected, the birds ignored her.

She groaned and shuffled her legs over the edge of the bed, jumping slightly when her feet made contact with the cold floor. Etro, was everything conspiring to make her irritable this morning?

Dragging herself upright, swaying a little with fatigue, Lebreau stumbled over to the mirror and psyched herself up for what she was going to be greeted with.

As she suspected, her hair looked like she had been dragged across Yaschas Massif backwards, and her mouth felt like a moogle had nested in it. She sighed. There was a reason she shouldn't drink after a long day of work when she had to get up early the next morning.

Yesterday was one of those rare days in NORA house where everyone else seemed to be unavailable and Lebreau was left to run the bar and the kitchen by herself. Normally, that wasn't too big of a deal. Lebreau had drink-slinging and food-serving down to a fine art, and she was the queen of her domain.

The problem was that everyone and their chocobo seemed to want to eat there yesterday. Lebreau had barely stopped moving for six hours, cooking food, pouring drinks and clearing tables.

The rush was just about over and she was tiredly pushing a damp cloth around the bar - spreading the dirt around more than clearing it up, to be fair - when Fang and Lightning stumbled in through the door. The pair of them had been out on the Archylte Steppe all day, and ended up venturing further away New Bodhum than they had planned in their attempt to follow a Behemoth King back to its lair. They had to double-time back to town so they didn't have to camp out in the open, and looked about as exhausted as Lebreau felt.

Etro bless them though. As soon as they had each grabbed a quick shower they came back into the kitchen to help her get things back into a presentable state.

Well, it might have been the lure of leftover food that dragged them into the kitchen, but the pots were scrubbed and the surfaces were gleaming by the time they retired, so Lebreau counted that as a win.

Lightning had looked dead on her feet, and tried to mutter out an excuse for going home to bed, but Fang had waved a bottle of moonshine around enticingly and gave her a pleading expression.

The three of them ended up in front of the lit fire in the back room, passing the bottle back and forth between them, slowly growing tipsier. Lebreau didn't know how long they sat there drinking for, but she had a horrible feeling she remembered the empty bottle rolling around the floor by the end.

Lightning was the first to succumb to her fatigue, still the one most susceptible to the effect of alcohol. She ha curled up against the arm of the sofa and slipped into sleep, the lines of her face smoothing out. Lebreau couldn't resist the urge to coo at how adorable she looked.

Fang had a smug expression on her face as she swept the pinkette into her arms, fully aware of how adorable Lightning could be when she didn't have her defences up. Lightning was carried into the room Fang shared with Vanille, and deposited gently on the brunette's bed. Vanille and Serah were away on a trip for the night, so their older sisters wouldn't be subject to any sly comments about bed-sharing and bad behaviour. Fang could take what Vanille dished up, but she knew that Lightning was still a little self-conscious about their new relationship.

She was happy to take it slow, and wouldn't dream of trying to make Lightning uncomfortable.

Lebreau followed them down the corridor, more than happy to finally get some rest. She had mumbled goodnight to Fang and stumbled down to her own room, collapsing gratefully into her bed.

She sighed now as she took in her gaunt, tired expression. This was no good at all. She was supposed to be the bubbly, perky face of NORA House, the happy-go-lucky barmaid with the relentlessly upbeat personality. Not this shadow of her former self. She looked down the length of her body and realised that she was in the crumpled outfit she had been wearing yesterday. Normally she would never dream of wandering around in less than pristine clothing, but it was too early and she was too tired to bother about it now.

Coffee. Coffee was what she needed. Coffee would make everything right again.

She shuffled out of her door and down the corridor, her eyes glued firmly to the floor to avoid letting too much of the sunlight into them. She would get some coffee brewing, see if there was something greasy and unhealthy to have for breakfast, then take a long shower and see if she could scrub the fatigue out of her soul.

Her forehead bounced off something hard, and she staggered backwards, clutching it with her hand.

"Ugh, what?" she mumbled to herself, wondering in her half-asleep haze who had moved the living room wall. She squinted upwards at what was stopping her from getting her coffee.

There was a large, looming figure blocking out most of the morning light, standing at easily an arms-length higher than Lebreau. It was humanoid, though easily bigger and bulkier than the largest guy Lebreau had ever seen. Even in the relative gloom she could see that it had an oddly shaped head, and there was a strange-looking weapon being held in its enormous left hand.

At that moment the barmaid realised the danger she was in.

"Holy mother of Etro," she spluttered out, staggering backwards and hitting her back against the wall. She wished her rifle wasn't all the way in her room, securely packed away under her bed. "Fang! Lightning!" she cried out. "Intruder, get out here!"

There was a brief silence and then Fang's bedroom door burst open. The huntress was standing there holding her spear, still managing to be intimidating despite the fact she only wore her sports bra and matching underwear.

"Bloody Pulse," Fang gasped out when she saw the intruder. "Lightning, we got trouble!" Without waiting for a response she surged forward past Lebreau, raising her spear for a strike.

Unfortunately for her, the confines of NORA House were more restrictive than the plains of Gran Pulse, and the spear skittered against the wall, then the floor, then bounced harmlessly off the intruder's chest with a metallic ting.

"Damn, is that thing wearing armour?" Lebreau asked. She glanced down at the floor and caught sight of the scratch mark Fang had left in the wood. "Hey, watch where you're waving that thing!"

"Not the time, Lebreau," Fang said through gritted teeth. She was holding her spear in a defensive gesture across her body, trying to prevent the intruder from advancing. Her head was aching, her eyes were stinging with tiredness and she could barely focus, but she was damned if she was going to let something tear her house up and harm her friends.

She was debating whether it would be possible to push the thing further into the living room, and perhaps even outside, when a pink blur flashed past her eyes.

Lightning had her gunblade extended into its blade form, and was holding it straight outwards, ready to impale. It had taken her a split-second to assess the situation, and she wanted to finish this fight before it truly began. She ran forwards, picking up speed as best she could in the limited space, and surged her gunblade upwards, putting all her weight behind her thrust.

Unfortunately, Fang's spear was still taking up a lot of the corridor, and she didn't spot it in her haste. She tripped over the outstretched tip of it and into Fang. Fang hit her head against the wall as Lightning's weight thudded into her body. She opened her mouth, perhaps to curse, perhaps to shout out in surprise. It didn't matter because Lightning's momentum carried her forward until she was slumped flush against Fang, an unspecified body part against the huntress's mouth.

Fang bit down. She couldn't help it. Her adrenaline was running high and her body was reacting unconsciously to any attack.

Lightning cried out in pain, the sound stifled slightly by the fact her face was buried in Fang's hair. Her left hand was trapped between their bodies, and despite the lessons instilled in her over countless army drills, she dropped the gunblade in her right hand in order to try and free her neck from Fang's bite. It clattered against the floor.

"Fang, ouch, let go," Lightning cried, She could feel the teeth sinking down, breaking the skin.

There was a muffled sound from the huntress. Her brain still wasn't fully awake, and it took her several seconds to realise what she was doing, and release Lightning.

They fumbled awkwardly as they tried to untangle themselves, desperate to rearm and take down whatever had decided to break into their house first thing in the morning.

They had just regained and their balance and were ready to fight when a hideous screeching sounded from behind them. They whirled around, fists up, ready for whatever was coming.

What they actually saw was Lebreau sticking Lightning's gunblade hilt-deep into the chest of the intruder, using the force of the impact to try and push it backwards.

The thing started to sway, making awful metallic creaking and clanging sounds as it staggered backwards. Fang grabbed onto Lebreau, pulling her away and out of danger.

"What on Pulse is that thing?" Lebreau asked, equal parts horrified and fascinated.

It took another uncertain step backwards and crashed into the coffee table, falling onto its back. Its limbs twitched and jerked for a moment, but with a pneumatic sigh and a release of steam, it finally fell silent.

The three women relaxed.

"Thank Etro that is over," Lightning muttered, raising a hand to gingerly press against the wound on her throat. "Fang, I think you drew blood."

Fang winced in sympathy and leaned in to get a better look. "It was an accident," she said softly. She ran her fingers across Lightning's neck, and pressed a soft kiss to the bite mark. "I'm really sorry."

Lebreau cleared her throat. "Is this thing really dead?" she asked, referring to the thing that was crashed out in the middle of the floor.

Now that it wasn't blocking out all the light, she could see it properly. It looked to be some sort of automaton, gunmetal grey in colour and terrifying in appearance. It had a strange halo for a head, and whilst it was missing much of its right arm, it more than made up for it by having an enormous claw for a left arm.

Lightning pulled herself away from Fang's gentle ministrations and knelt down beside it, pulling her still-embedded gunblade back and forth to see if it would garner a reaction. "I think so," she said. "Nice work, Lebreau. We might have to look into getting you a gunblade of your own." She gave a short nod of approval.

"All I want is coffee," the barmaid moaned. "What is this damn thing doing here?" Were they all doomed to spend their lives dealing with crazy events instead of getting on with things?

Fang walked over and prodded it with her toe. "It's a Pulsework Soldier," she explained. "Although what it is doing here, I haven't a clue."

"I thought they could only be found in Taejin's Tower," Lightning said, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"They're about in several places, including Taejin's Tower," Fang said. "But they don't tend to travel. In fact, I've never known one to move more than a few hundred metres from its designated area. They were used as sentries or guards back in the old days, programmed to kill enemies on sight."

Lebreau felt a thrill of dread go down her spine.

"It was a good job you managed to land a solid hit on it," Lightning said to her appreciatively. "These can be a nightmare to defeat if you don't catch them by surprise."

"Sure, right," Lebreau said dully. "It looks like a heavy hitter." Her brain wasn't functioning enough to deal with all of this information.

"I wonder if it is here by itself," Fang murmured. "They don't tend to act independently."

"They shouldn't be acting at all," Lightning said. "How did it get all the way here? I thought after five hundred years of inactivity, they wouldn't be able to handle a trip across Gran Pulse. Do you suppose they have gone a bit haywire after being abandoned?"

Fang frowned, unhappy with the idea. "Perhaps," she said. "If that is the case then we are in serious trouble. There are thousands of these things, and only a few of us."

"We'll want to be quick then," Lightning said briskly. "We should go down to the hunter's lodge and gather whoever is down there to come and help us search the local area. If we're lucky they might not have ventured too far down the plains, and we'll have some time to organise a counter-strike."

She stood over the body of the Pulsework Soldier, grasped the handle of her gunblade and tugged hard, trying ineffectually to free it from the complex machinery.

"Damn, Lebreau," Fang commented. "How hard did you stick that thing?"

"Well, someone had to make sure it was going to stay down," Lebreau huffed.

Fang held up her hands in a gesture of innocence. "Hey, no complaints from over here," she said. "Just admiring your skill. It takes a lot of power to get a blade that far into a body."

"No kidding," Lightning huffed as she gave another fruitless tug on her weapon. She had worked it a couple of inches loose, but it was still resolutely stuck.

Lebreau watched Lightning with tired eyes, barely seeing what was happening in front of her. Whatever little energy she had had been expended fighting the Pulsework Soldier. She was more tired than ever, and utterly unimpressed at the prospect of being overrun with mechanical monsters.

"Do we have time for me to make some coffee before we save the day?" she asked dully.

Lightning cursed under her breath as her grip slipped, and she ended up pushing the gunblade further into the metallic cavity.

"Might as well," Fang said. "Looks like we're going to be here for a while." She smirked at Lightning, who ignored her.

"Thank Etro for that," Lebreau muttered. "I don't know about you guys, but my head feels like it's had a pack of Gorgonopsids stampede through it." She stepped over the Pulsework Soldier and headed towards the bar, where a fancy coffee machine had been recently installed.

"I'll give you a hand," Fang said, walking after her. "I need a pick-me-up before we get going. This isn't exactly the way I was planning on spending my morning."

"No kidding." Lebreau switched the machine on and slumped against the bar-top as she waited for it to heat up. "I'm not saying life on Cocoon was perfect, but at least random monsters didn't break into your house in the middle of the night."

The mention of break-ins gave Fang pause, and she frowned. "Did you hear the door break down?" she asked. "Because I know I didn't."

Lebreau shrugged, unconcerned by the discrepancy. "No," she yawned. "But don't tell me it's broken, because I am not in the mood to get it fixed."

The front door was wide open, which wasn't unusual for NORA house during opening hours but a little concerning for this time of day. Of course, many people stayed in the house, so it was possible that someone left early or came home late, but most people locked up after themselves if the bar wasn't open for business.

When Fang went over to inspect it, she saw that the lock was still in good condition and the wood showed no sign of being forced.

"I guess the buggers are better at picking locks than I thought," she murmured to herself. "Good news," she called back over her shoulder. "It looks like the door is still in good shape."

"Thank Etro for small mercies," Lebreau said, coming over with two cups of steaming coffee. "It's bad enough that we're going to have to save the world again. I don't want to have to do DIY as well." She handed one cup to Fang and leaned against the door jamb with the other.

"You aren't a morning person, are you?" said a soft voice from behind them. Lightning had abandoned her attempts to retrieve her weapon and came to join them. Fang offered her the coffee she was holding, and Lightning gratefully accepted it, sighing in appreciation at the taste. Fang wrapped an arm across her shoulders and Lightning leaned into the touch. Neither seemed to be bothered by the fact they were standing by the front door in only their sleepwear, and revealing sleepwear at that.

"Not when mornings involve me being hungover and having to defend my home from crazy robots," Lebreau said grouchily. "Fat lot of help you two were as well. A pair of ferocious l'Cie and you couldn't work out that a narrow corridor wasn't the best place to be swinging your weapons around?" She said it with a touch of bite, but the faint upturn of her lips suggested she wasn't fully committed to being angry.

"We'd just woken up," Fang defended calmly. "And it all worked out in the end, right?" She squeezed Lightning, who hummed in agreement.

"Right. Although I'm not sure I'm going to get my gunblade back any time soon," Lightning said. "I might have to borrow something for today."

"You can use my spare spear," Fang offered. She gave a sly smile to the pinkette, and quirked an eyebrow. "I've always wanted to see what you'd look like wielding my weapon. I think it'd be a real picture."

Lightning gave her a half-hearted push, although a slight tinge of pink did grace her cheeks. "Looks like we'll all be trading weapons at this rate," she said. "I might have to find another area of expertise." She raised her cup in a gesture of admiration to Lebreau.

The barmaid gave a small smile at the compliment. Now that the caffeine was starting to enter her system, she felt less wound up than earlier, and was more willing to join the banter.

"I already told you I wasn't interested in trading jobs, but I could give you a run for your Gil during a hunt, I reckon," the barmaid said with a cheeky grin.

Fang burst out laughing. "Oh, a challenge!" she said. "Maybe I'll have myself a new protégé. There won't be a critter left on Gran Pulse if I let you two loose out there."

Lightning gave Lebreau an appraising look. "You know, you've been a bit lax in your weapon training since moving to New Bodhum," she said. "Maybe we could go out hunting one of these days?"

Lebreau's face lit up. "I think I'd like that actually. I've heard a lot of stories about the sights of Gran Pulse, but haven't seen many for myself."

"Then we'll do it," Lightning nodded. "Taejin's Tower isn't the friendliest of places, but the Palisade has some nice views. If these Pulsework Soldiers are coming from there then we could go today."

"We should get shifting if we are going to go," Fang said, stealing the last mouthfuls of coffee from Lightning's cup. "Don't want these guys stealing a march on us because we're sitting around yakking."

"I suppose I could manage that. Someone will have to watch your backs," Lebreau said airily. "You two were too busy being entangled in your embrace to be of any help earlier."

"Ooh, what's this about an entangled embrace?" called a cheerful voice from across the sand. Vanille was skipping towards them, with a rather more sedate Serah following behind her, carrying a basket. "Fang, were you and Lightning taking advantage of having the room to yourself? Certainly looks like it, with you guys in your underwear and all." She cast a lecherous grin at Lightning's exposed legs, and smirked at Fang.

Fang could feel Lightning flinch underneath her arm, and she unconsciously drew her in tighter. "Don't be crass, Vanille," she scolded.

Vanille caught sight of the expression on Lightning's face as she bounded up the steps. "Sorry," she said apologetically. "I was just kidding. You know I don't mean anything by it."

Fang glanced at Lightning, who shrugged. Taking that as a gesture of forgiveness, she reached out her free hand to ruffle Vanille's hair. "I know. But just watch your mouth, yeah?"

Vanille nodded happily. "Right!"

Serah had joined them by now, and deposited the basket she was carrying with a clang. She had evidently heard Vanille's remarks because she jabbed the redhead in the ribs whilst smiling kindly at her sister. "Morning, Light," she said happily.

"You guys are back early," Lebreau commented. "I wasn't expecting you home until at least lunch-time."

"It's good you're here though," Lightning interjected, moving away from Fang and drawing herself up to her full height. "We've got a situation we could use your help with."

Serah furrowed her brow. "Is everything alright?" she asked. "You guys don't look like you got a lot of sleep at all."

"Ooh, can it wait for a bit?" Vanille said excitedly, grabbing onto Fang's arm. "I've got something really neat I want to show you."

"Actually, this is pretty important," Fang said, trying to prise Vanille's hand off. "If you two aren't too tired, we could use your help gathering everyone down by the hunter's lodge."

Serah looked concerned at the serious expressions of the three older women, but Vanille seemed to be completely immune.

"This will only take a moment," the redhead cajoled. "You must have seen it already, but I want to tell you all about it."

She pulled Fang back into NORA house despite her protestations. The Farron sisters and Lebreau looked at each other for a moment before collectively shrugging their shoulders and following them indoors.

With Lightning's gunblade still sticking out of its chest, and its big, intimidating claw arm sprawled out across the floor, the Pulsework Soldier was terrifying sight, even in repose. Vanille and Serah certainly seemed to think so, judging from the way both of their hands flew to cover their mouths.

Lightning rested her hand in a comforting manner on her sister's shoulder. "It was here when we woke up this morning. Thank Etro that Lebreau was awake early to find it before it did any damage."

Serah shook her head back and forth, her eyes still glued to the Pulsework Soldier, and her hand still covering her mouth.

"You...you..." Vanille stuttered out, a hand stretched out towards the automaton.

"It's alright," Fang said soothingly, patting the younger girl on the head. "We took care of it before it did any harm. But we need to go out on a reccy and see if any more of the blighters are on their way."

Vanille flinched away from Fang's touch and pointed an accusatory finger at Lightning. "You killed it!" she screeched.