the way it should be

by mcfuz

He leaves your mind; you don't know him anymore. Not his hair, his eyes, his freckles, his words, his smile, his laugh. It's gone. And maybe you don't know who he is, but that's okay because you don't know who you are, either. / George knows Fred's death is all his fault. Freeverse.

.

As long as you're not alone

it's okay

(right?)

Aren't you?

As long as you're with him, everything will be okay

Right?

.

But you're not there

Not for a

S

I

N

G

L

E

moment, but that's okay because that's all it takes

(oh god, it's all your fault)

Because you're not there

and he's alone

and suddenly he's not there anymore

but in an

e-n-t-i-r-e-l-y

different way

(oh god, you left, and he's…he's…)

And it's all because you left

And now you're alone

(oh god, he's dead)

Because you're not there

and that's all it takes

(all your fault)

.

You piece your life back together

(do you? can you?)

bit

by

little

bit

but it will never be the same

(you know this, they all do, but that doesn't stop you from trying)

.

And suddenly you're in love

(is that allowed? Is love allowed when there's still so much pain inside you?)

And suddenly you're not alone anymore

(well, you are, but not as much)

And suddenly life

b . e . g . i . n . s

again

(but you feel guilty that he's not here too)

And you're in love, and that's all that matters

Right?

(but it's not, you've forgotten, he's GONE, and that's what counts)

.

She's here with you, holding your hand

making you s-m-i-l-e

(but he's gone and it's your fault, you know)

and the

.

.

.

.

hole

.

.

.

.

in your heart closes

(just a little)

((not by much))

.

And suddenly the years

S

L

I

P

through your fingers

And time marches on

on

on

on

.

And suddenly you're an old man

watching your children

watching him (oh god, he looks the same)

watching your baby boy

watching him because he looks too much like-

(no, you won't say it; you haven't since it happened because it hurts)

and you're old and tired now and he should have shared this with you

(oh god, it's pain you've never felt before)

and you're watching the time fly

and slowly you begin to forget

(do you?)

((do you really?))

He leaves your mind

you don't know him anymore

Not his hair

His eyes

His freckles

His words

His smile

(oh god, not- not-)

His laugh

It's gone

(and maybe you don't know who he is, but that's okay)

((because you don't know who you are, either))

.

And soon you follow his footsteps

(you could always swap pairs of shoes)

Little by little you follow him

up

up

UP

UP

until you're in a world of white

(and oh god, you're starting to remember)

And you're seeing people who should be gone-

(Fred, his name was Fred)

-who should be dead-

(but that must mean…)

-and turned to dust-

(must mean…)

-and oh god, you hear your name called out-

(that you're gone too-)

-and he's there, standing beside you, and that hole is finally filled-

(-that you're dead-)

-and you're complete

(and you're whole)

And finally, finally,

it

ends

(because this is the way it should be)

together

(not alone, never again)

.