03/08/2016
To my darling Abi! I had this written for a bit but almost went to bed without posting it. XD Still working on your birthday gift though. ;)
Happy Day Between Our Birthdays Day!
Starring the Pairing that Lead Us to Becoming Friends
Featuring a Avocado with Black and Red Skin
"Hey," Deadpool shouted, pointing at the title. "Why aren't I getting first billing? Aren't I what she asked for, for Christmas?"
"It's for Abi's birthday," the author reminded the mercenary. "And you're getting your own story tomorrow."
"I thought it was a Spiderman story tomorrow," Deadpool somehow managed to pout with his face completely covered by his cowl.
"Spiderman is in the story with you tomorrow," the author held up three fingers, "Along with Vanessa."
Deadpool looked at the fingers and then at the author, back at the fingers, and then at the author, "Are you hitting on me?"
"No," the author resisted the urge to kick at the mercenary's shins, or higher but below the belt. "The story is you, Vanessa and Spiderman…"
"Making ginger bread houses," Deadpool asked slowly.
"No," the author did kick this time, hitting the air due to Deadpool being faster. "Think about it; what did I write Abi for her last birthday?"
"A Book of Life songfic featuring lots of pining and copping out right when the three of them finally got into bed together," Deadpool groaned, and then comically gasped. "OT3? I'm getting an OT3 fic?!"
"Yes," the author shouted in exasperation.
"Do I get a songfic too? Can I pick the music? Is it going to be Christmas time? Hey, are you going to cop out again before we get down to the nasty?" Deadpool crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at the author.
"Oh, um, look a convenient plot device," the author pushed Deadpool off the roof and into a perfectly place rip in the space time continuum that lead to the DC Universe.
"This isn't over," Deadpool shouted as he was sucked into the hole.
"Of course not," the author sighed. "The story just started."
Superman sat on top of the Daily Planet in the 31st century, hands resting on his ankles as his knees were up to his chest. The building had long ago stopped being a news center and become a historical landmark, one of the few places still recognizable in the future surrounded by technological marvels that still called themselves skyscrapers.
"Enjoying the view," Brainiac Five asked, sitting beside the caped hero and looking out at the city with him.
"Just marveling," Superman swore he heard a chuckle but continued, "Just admiring how much things change in the future."
"It's thanks to you that Earth makes it this far," Brainiac Five reminded him.
Superman smiled softly, suppressing a sigh, "So you keep telling me."
Silence hung between them a moment before Brainy turned to look at the raven haired boy, "I am glad to have met you though."
Resting his chin on his knees, Superman half turned his head to return Brainy's gaze, "Happy to have met a historical hero?"
"That may have been my initial reasoning," Brainy admitted, "But I'm happy to have gotten to know the man behind the cape." He looked away, back over the city, his cheeks a little darker than normal, "And to be able to call him my friend."
Superman smiled and waited until Brainy looked at him before he responded, "I'm glad to have met you too."
Slowly Brainy smiled and Superman thought it was even more beautiful than the view of the sun setting over the city.
"Now kiss!" a voice exclaimed from behind them.
He two heroes leapt to their feet and turned to see a man sitting cross legged behind them. Even though he was wearing what looked like a one piece red and black hero suit, complete with cowl, he was also wearing a purple T-shirt with the Superman crest on it, over lapped with the Brainiac symbol that had a five in the lower circle. On top was the phrase "CxB shipper" in the same gold as the Legion crest on the man's baseball cap. Even with his mouth covered he had a bucket of popcorn and a soda with him.
"What, no kiss?" the man whined and looked behind him before he turned back to the heroes. "Oh, I ruined the moment didn't I? Just pretend I'm not here and go back to making star struck loving googly eyes at each other."
Both heroes blushed and stuttered but Brainy recovered himself first.
"Who are you," Brainy demanded.
"A fourth wall breathing plot device to amuse the soon to be birthday girl," Deadpool stood. "But you may call me cupid."
"It's someone's birthday?" Superman asked at the same time Brainy scoffed.
"Scoff not my little green alien friend," Deadpool got to his feet. "I know lots of super ways for you to super fast get into someone's super red briefs." He dashed over and loudly whispered, "If I'm not clear I'm going to help you seduce Superman."
Brainy turned start a darker shade of green, Superman thought Brainy might faint. Honestly though he wasn't doing much better, feeling like he was going to heat through the Daily Planet's roof.
"Look, um, Mr. Cupid," Superman started but wasn't sure where to go from there.
"Oh, you want some tips too young part one, of three, of World's Finest," Deadpool slid his way over to Superman. "I have the perfect pick up line for you that will have little Brainiac Five falling into your arms."
"I didn't," Superman started again but stopped when Deadpool suddenly wrapped his arm around his shoulders.
"All you have to do is say," Deadpool paused and mimicked a heroic tone, "Hey there; I'm Superman," he returned his voice to normal, "Then wink and hold out your arms and then he'll be all yours."
"Excuse you," Brainy shouted at the man, face still burning, and continued "I have to protest this foolishness."
"You're right," Deadpool lamented and turned to Superman, "Lose the wink, you really don't need it."
"Sir, um, I think you're underestimating Brainy," Superman attempted to smooth over the situation. "He has really high standards; he wouldn't date me."
Brainy scoffed, "No one's standards are that impossibly high."
There was a pause and both heroes blushed again.
"I didn't mean that the way that sounded," Brainy shouted.
"Go one, dig yourself deeper," Deadpool encouraged.
"What I meant to say that you're, well, you," Brainy stumbled over his words, brain unable to keep up with his mouth for one. "Anyone would have to be daft to reject you! I mean, it's not because you're Superman. I mean that you're just so wonderful. I mean… I'm just going to take off my ring and jump off the roof now."
"Don't worry; Superman will catch you with the power of his love," Deadpool fluttered his eyes, which may have not looked so weird if they could see his eyelashes.
Superman shrugged off Deadpool's arm and went over to Brainy, suddenly scooping him up and ignoring his protests with a smile, "I'll catch you every time Brainy."
"Oh, that's so cheesy," Deadpool gushed.
"Let's discuss this further," Superman glanced at Deadpool, "Somewhere private."
Brainy blushed but nodded, reaching up to hold onto Superman as he took off into the air.
"If you guys need any ideas check out fanfiction," Deadpool shouted after them, "Have a super time!"
Once Superman and Brainy are out of sight, Deadpool looked around and pointed at the screen.
"Now, let's discuss the OT3 a bit more, shall we?"
A gust of wind comes and brings up a flyer to hit Deadpool in the face.
Pulling the flyer off, Deadpool's eyes go wide as he looks at it.
"Free all you can eat chimichangas?! Distraction bribe accepted!"
As Deadpool skips away to the music playing on the author's YouTube, the author sighs, saves, and goes to open a new document.