Disclaimer: I do not own xxxHolic, or any of the characters contained in this fanfic. I don't have the kind of patience to keep up with a series like that. Plus, I'd be confused half the time as to what was going on. So please don't sue me.
When he stops to think about how things are now, Watanuki wonders how it happened.
Sure, he knows what happened that led to his current life, because he was pretty sure he'd always remember those days when he first met those he now holds dear. But that doesn't mean it makes any sense to him.
He wonders what brought those two he calls friends to reach out to him. It wasn't exactly as if they all had similar interests in clubs and classes and such. And not a single one of them would be in the same 'clique' as one another.
Himawari-chan was one of the cutest girls in the entire school. And, even though her past sucked, she always managed to keep herself happy. She was such an optimist, her sunny attitude was almost blinding at times. She could get along easily with anyone in the school, if she so wanted, but she'd chosen to speak to Watanuki, of all people. If she really wanted, she could be the single most popular girl in school, yet she didn't want that at all.
Doumeki, too, could be a popular guy, if he so wanted. He had at least half the girls in the school lusting after him, and quite a few of the boys, too. He had character traits that could win him the hearts of many, even if not romantically. But he, too, chose to be friends with Watanuki, the boy who had sent a flying kick his way the first time they met. Despite the constant sarcasm and insults directed at the energetic boy, Doumeki genuinely thought of the two as friends. Anyone in the school could've been Doumeki's friend, but he hung out with Watanuki, who tended to scream at him in rage on a daily basis.
Watanuki certainly didn't understand his friends' choices. Doumeki and Himawari, despite the vast differences in their attitudes, could both have had immense popularity, far exceeding the already high popularity they had. Yet, both of them chose to spend their time with Watanuki.
Watanuki was not a stupid boy. Perhaps naïve, perhaps a little unobservant at times, but never stupid. He knew there was a reason why he'd had so few friends. It wasn't just because he didn't reach out to many people, or that he was so stressed with all the spirits chasing him. (Though both were rather large factors in their own right.) But Watanuki was no April fool when it came to this. He heard many of the whispers in the hallway his classmates thought he was too distracted to notice. He noticed when people were feeling awkward with his presence, because of those whispers. He even noticed when the person he was asking for something as simple as a pencil (because he'd dropped his while running from the spirits this morning) wanted him to just turn around, and ignore them.
His classmates thought of him as weird. He was prone to muttering to himself, and suddenly breaking into a run out of nowhere, and doing weird things right in the middle of the street. Granted, he knew himself that all of these things were caused by the spirits that only he could see, and lusted after his blood. But, to everyone else, he just looked like some weird kid acting freakish, instead of a weird kid dodging a malevolent spirit.
Surely, both Himawari and Doumeki knew that Watanuki wasn't the most popular guy around. (And he certainly wasn't very good with the whole having friends thing, since he'd been alone for such a long time.) Yet the two of them chose him, Kimihiro Watanuki, of any person they could have had as their friend.
Yes, the three made an odd group, with the sarcastic one, the spazz, and the optimist, but, all the same, Watanuki held them close to his heart. Even though Doumeki still annoyed him, and Himawari was literal bad luck, Watanuki was grateful to them.
Had it not been for the odd pair that he now called friends, Watanuki would've disappeared a long, long time ago.
x.x.x.
Himawari had always been bad luck for anyone who got close to her. She had guessed this a while before her grandmother had taken her to that priest. That man had only confirmed what she'd known all along – she was bad news.
By the time she even got to middle school, Himawari had long given up the dream of ever being married to someone. Her unlucky aura was enough to affect those she was never that emotionally close to, like her teachers. Granted, some were affected more than others, but nevertheless, she knew what happened to people who got close to her, which was why she always tried to detach herself from everyone - even her own family. She didn't even want to imagine what might happen if someone got close enough for her to want to marry them. (And God knows she kept her mind as far away from what could happen if they got intimate, since a brush of the hands could have disastrous effects.)
She'd never really meant to get close to Watanuki. Had it not been for her own bad luck, she probably wouldn't have noticed the boy at all. However, because she was such bad luck, and so determinedly as alone as possible, she noticed the boy, and she couldn't keep herself from speaking to him.
It was his loneliness that first caught her attention. Sure, the boy smiled when it was polite, and seemed perfectly sociable when need be, if a bit quiet, but she could see it was a mask. Not only because it was like the one she herself had up, but because she heard the talk about him in the halls. The rumors of weird things the boy had done, and some of the things they heard him mumble to himself in one of his supposed fits of 'insanity' he was so prone to, reached her ears quite easily.
She remembers clearly the first time someone mentioned 'spirits' in regards to Watanuki's name. Immediately, she'd been intrigued, and had probed the gossiper for more information on the subject. The person had just shrugged, and told her that Watanuki had been heard muttering something that included the word to himself one day before he'd broken into yet another unexplained run.
It was then that Himawari decided she would try to talk to this boy, and perhaps ease his loneliness, at least a little. She figured that he had his own brand of bad luck, and had felt drawn to him because of this shared trait, along with the feeling of being truly alone that they shared.
Looking back, it may have been the fact that the boy seemed to draw in bad luck that brought her to him. Of course, she knew that wasn't the only reason, but she had a feeling it was part of it. From the very beginning, she seemed to have a greater effect on Watanuki than others, but something in her couldn't bear to leave him all alone again.
Himawari had been rather baffled, however, when she'd discovered she had no effect on Doumeki whatsoever. She could tell when it was her bad luck causing something to happen to her friends, but each and every piece of bad luck inflicted on Doumeki never came from her. The boy was even able to reduce her negative effect on others when he was around.
Predictably, she had been rather amazed by this. She had never met anyone that was immune to her before, aside from her parents. The fact that this boy, Doumeki, was able to repel her bad luck gave her hope.
All through the time she had been friends with Watanuki and Doumeki, she had watched the two become closer and closer. It became painfully clear to her, after a while, that her two friends were what most would call 'soul mates,' or something similar. Even though one was somewhat in denial, and they didn't seem, at first, to be compatible, they fit, in a weird way.
After meeting her friends, Himawari felt that, perhaps, she didn't have to give up her dream of one day being married, and maybe even having a child.
Don't misunderstand, however. Himawari didn't want to do this with either of her companions. Sure, she loved her friends more dearly than anything, but she wasn't in love with them. That would be simply absurd, since, in her mind, they seemed more like brothers to her. Besides, those two were obviously meant for each other, no matter how much Watanuki denied it. Himawari wasn't going to try to break that up, thank you very much.
Himawari knew that she would always hold those two dear, however. It was because of their own strong bond that she was able to keep up her hope. It was because they had found their soul mates, each other, that she was able to stand strong. It was because of them that she decided that maybe, just maybe, it was still worth it to keep searching for her own soul mate. Even if she faced hardships, she figured it would turn out alright.
After all, she still had her friends to help.
x.x.x.
Doumeki realizes how odd they all are when he reflects on it. Not only are they odd individually, though not many would guess with Himawari and Doumeki, but they are odd as a group. No one at their school could've guessed that the three would become so close. And Doumeki supposed he couldn't blame them.
After all, to the general public, each of the three was completely different from the others. Doumeki was the stable one of the group, probably due to his archery hobby. Himawari was the little ray of sunshine that managed to smile, even when life dealt her yet another hard blow to the gut. And Watanuki… was the wacky one of the group, for lack of a better word. At least to the naked eye.
Admittedly, there was some truth to that assumption, because each of them did use their respective mask around the world. But, at the same time, the group was not all that they seemed at first glance.
At first glance, one would probably say something along the lines of 'opposites attract' to describe the group, and then move on. And perhaps it was true. But the three were far more similar than most would think.
Each and every one of the three had experienced their own loneliness before meeting the others. Himawari was lonely because of her tendency to draw bad luck on those she cared for, and Watanuki was alone primarily because he could see spirits. Doumeki felt alone after his grandfather died, as the two had been rather close.
Again, at first glance, the causes for each person's loneliness seemed rather different. But each had chosen to stay so lonely. Not necessarily having thought, 'I want to be alone,' but rather detaching themselves from others to keep from getting hurt, or hurting others. All three of them knew loneliness, and what it meant to wear a mask to prevent broadcasting this loneliness to the world.
Because they were familiar with loneliness, the three were able to recognize it in others. And they saw it in each other, certainly. It was consciously that Himawari and Doumeki had first decided they would try to make Watanuki less lonely, and then try to help each other once they'd discovered the well-placed façade was truly a mask. But, unconsciously, the two had been seeking a way out of their own loneliness, by finding people who were similar.
Looking back, Doumeki realizes that it was really Watanuki that had brought them all together. Before he had become friends with Watanuki, Doumeki just thought of Himawari as just another girl in the student council, and he had a feeling Himawari thought much the same about him. However, when he'd started hanging out with Watanuki, and therefore Himawari, he'd found that the two of them were more similar than they had first thought.
Though Watanuki could most likely be credited to bringing the group together, each one was equally responsible for holding it together. They had all found similarities they hadn't noticed before, and, as each new similarity was discovered, the bond grew tighter.
Himawari always brought bad luck to those around her. Watanuki seemed to attract bad luck like honey attracts all sorts of nasty bugs. Together, Doumeki was sure they would be a walking disaster, which was where he came in. He was able to repel Himawari's bad luck-and some of Watanuki's as well-which restored the balance in the universe.
Inversely, Doumeki felt the same went for the other two. His own sturdiness was not countered enough by Watanuki or Himawari alone. As Yuuko had mentioned before, things had to be balanced, or there would be consequences for all. Together, the three were balanced in a way only two could not be.
Doumeki thought of them as a sort of tripod. Two legs alone would be useless, but put all three together, and you have something strong and steady. The same with the teens. Put two together, and you couldn't get them to balance properly, but all three together could even the balance perfectly.
Looking deeper than appearances, the three still seemed an odd group. One who can see and attract spirits, one who exorcises them, and one who was bad luck. It was an odd sort of combination, really, but they harmonized quite fantastically.
Even if the reason for their problems were different, they each had felt the same loneliness. And, though each had something wrong that the others did not, and each had a very different personality, they all felt perfectly compatible with their companions.
Doumeki figured that it was their similarities, seemingly so few, that held them together in the end. Though they had their obvious differences, the things all three shared held more value than the things that were different.
After all, a person who is similar to you can do one thing that a person who is different cannot. Those who are similar are the only ones that can understand, after all.
AN: This is just a sort of compilation of my thoughts on the friendship between Watanuki, Doumeki, and Himawari. Told, as you can see, from each person's point of view. I thought it's be better to keep them as a group, and I felt that they were kinda short and lonely all alone, so I kept them on one document. And I ended up liking how it looked like that, so that's why it's like this.
I think Watanuki's thoughts turned out best. I feel that, after being alone for as long as he was, it was quite a difference for people like Doumeki and Himawari to suddenly talk to him of their own free will. I mean, it seems like, from the series, Doumeki and Himawari could be really popular if they wanted to be. So, it'd be quite a shock for the loner kid to have kids with such potential to start talking to him. Because social movement usually occurs in a downwards motion when you're still in the same school with the same people.
As for Himawari, I was basing her whole marriage thing on the fact that, when she just touched Watanuki's shoulder lightly, he fell out of a second story window. So, you know, if Himawari ever did anything with a guy, I don't even want to imagine it. I think it could turn out pretty badly, as you can tell, and I think Himawari would realize that. Also, I don't think she really would end up with either Doumeki or Watanuki, despite Watanuki's whole school-girl crush on her. I think Himawari sees the boys as brothers, and not as romantic partners. And not just because I ship DoumekixWatanuki. Because Himawari never seems to favor either of her friends in the series romantically.
As for Doumeki's part, I don't have much to say, lol. I hate the ending. Ugh, so bad. D: But I couldn't get it to cooperate, so I had to leave it as it was. Le sigh.
And I think that's all I have to say, now that the note is as long as the story, lolol. I hope you enjoyed it. I really enjoyed writing it. Mmm, that's all! Have a good day! :3