For my first YYH fic, I will now torture Hiei. Yay torture!!
Phantom: Have you had sugar again?
...Yes... But that's not the point now, is it! I just had this random idea in the shower. I thought it was funny as heck, but ya never know, other people might not think so...
Phantom: Like me.
You don't think anything is funny!
How to get Hiei to kill you
1. Pat him on the head and say "Oh, what a cute little boy!"
2. Constantly point out all the similarities between him and Vegeta (like how they're both vertically challenged, how they're both really irritable, how they both have flame-like hair, etc) Phantom: Only you would notice something like that...
Quiet you!
3. Ask if he and Kurama are dating.
4. "Accidentally" call him Vegeta.
5. When you're walking beside him, suddenly stop and scream "WHERE'S HIEI!!!" Be sure to search frantically everywhere but where he is currently standing (most likely he will be contemplating on how to kill you and make it look like an accident). Finally, look down and grin, saying, "Oh, there you are, I didn't see you!"
6. Every time he gets in a good fight, stand up and scream "Take it off!"
7. Stare at him. Every time he catches you, look away and twiddle your thumbs or some other pointless thing. After a while scream "WHY DO YOU KEEP LOOKING AT ME!!"
8. Every time he says "Hn," say, "Would you care to elaborate?"
9. Every time you see him and Kurama together, point and scream "I knew it! I knew you two were going out!"
10. Steal his ice cream. Spit in said ice cream, then give it back.
11. Ask if you can see his Jagan eye.
12. Bust out laughing at really random and inopportune moments.
13. Poke him.
14. Make him listen to My Chemical Romance. Why MCR? Because my best friend's spirit who happens to be in love with them is hovering over me telling me what to type. Be sure to sing along really loudly and off-key.
15. And last but not least, exist!
Review, or I shall set my evil cat on you!
Phantom: Really...