A/N: Just a crazy idea. If you like it, I'll add more chapters. Read, review, enjoy!
(Btw: I'm Danish. If you see any mistakes, gramma, spelling, so on, feel free to notify me, so I can improve. Thanks a lot!)
And, oh yeah, I don't owe the Teen Titans. No, seriously.
"AW MAN! How'd you just…?!" The half man, half machine stared at the gigantic screen, where a green goblin was bouncing up and down in evil happiness, as his opponent, a mean looking machine, lay beaten on the ground.
The guy next to the cyborg leapt to his feet in the couch and started performing his own little victory-dance. "SWEET! I TOTALLY just KICKED your metal-butt!"
"Rematch!" Cyborg the Teen Titan bellowed, grasping the game pad and pressing the bottoms furiously in an attempt to start a new game. Beast Boy, whose green skin and strange moves made him look ever so slightly as the goblin on the screen, kept on jumping about in the sofa with a sly grin of victory still plastered on his face. Though Cyborg had yelled at the top his lungs, the green changeling didn't seem to have heard him.
"Oh yeah. I beat you. Uh-huh. I rule," he hummed happily. Still on the couch.
"Uhm… Beast Boy?" A beautiful foreign-looking girl with big, green eyes and silky red hair took the dangerous risk of edging a little closer to the changeling. "I think… perhaps you should stop this dance of victory. This piece of furniture," she friendly padded the sofa, "is, dare I say, dear to as all, and… I do believe you are damaging it."
No doubt about that one. Beast Boy's shoes were mud-stained from a fight earlier, and now, so was the sofa. Big time. Plus, it had been ripped several places, due to the unfriendly treatment, that several of the Titans had given it through time (including shredding it with claws, staining it with oil and blasting bits and pieces of it with bolts of uncontained, dark magic). All in all, the sofa was in a sad state.
But, alas, Beast Boy was still determined to enjoy his victory, probably because he got so few of them. "Aw, c'mon," he said to Starfire, the alien girl, who tried to follow his bouncing head up and down, "we'll just clean it up later…"
"Yes. We. WILL!" a new voice bellowed, and this one, Beast Boy heard. Or one must assume, since his eyes widened in fear, and he tumbled to the floor instantly.
All of the three present Titans turned their heads towards the double-doors in the opposite end of the room, through which the fourth member of the Teen Titans, Raven, had just come, dressed in her usual leotard and cape. Her eyes were glistering with black magic, and her teeth were clenched. Starfire made a gulping sound.
Raven stomped into the room, an unusual image of ravaging anger. As she went past the kitchen, the refrigerator blew up, sending tons of food, some things not suited for eating and a couple of Beast Boy's socks flying across the room and slamming in to the opposite wall with some not-so-pleasant sounds.
Raven did not even look at the mess she had just created. She continued moving towards Cyborg, Beast Boy and Starfire, who gathered together in a pile for protection.
"Eep," Starfire whimpered.
Raven stopped just in front of them all, glaring evilly at them.
"This is going to STOP," she sneered.
"What, Rae?" Cyborg tried to sound confident, but found he would prefer taking both Cinderblock and Plasmus on all by him self, rather than stand up to Raven, when she was in this mood.
"THIS!" Raven yelled, making a gesture with her hand – the three Titans flinched at the sudden movement – at the condition, the room was in.
The kitchen was a mess. Blue fungus was spread everywhere, some of it growling slightly. Something, that might once have been some kind of rug, was torn to pieces and spread across the room. At least two of the windows were more or less shattered, and several of them were stained with glowing alien food. Broken pieces of the loft lay around on the floor, either from the time when Beast Boy and Cyborg bet on whether or not the room was big enough for a T-rex to stomp around in it, or from when Starfire saw a spider and went "righteous fury" on it (she later regretted and forced everybody to participate in "a proper burial" for "the poor creature, taken away in its best age". Her speech was beautiful, really, but somehow the rest of the team didn't seem all that affected by the tragedy).
And the sofa… oh, the sofa. Cyborg began to whimper, when he got a proper look at it. "W-why?" was all he managed to whisper. Beast Boy was looking a bit dumbfounded, and Starfire's eyes were wide. Raven seemed somewhat satisfied by their reactions.
"I'm sure you all understand what must be done now?" she said in a chilly voice, dripping with acid.
"I… suppose we should make a burial?" Starfire meekly suggested, eyeing the sofa with great sorrow in her eyes.
"No more burials!" Beast Boy and Cyborg immediately exclaimed in unison, both remembering the spider incident, while Raven got a look of genuine doom in her eyes. The dining table across the room blew up in a bolt of dark magic and covered the already fungus/loft/food-covered floor with splinters.
"Oh! The death of this dear furniture brings me great sorrow!" Starfire flew to what was left of the table and grabbed the biggest part of it, she could find, hugging it like it was a baby.
Raven breathed deeply a couple of times with eyes closed, and Beast Boy and Cyborg instantly bolted from the clearly unstable goth girl. They had almost reached the double doors leading to the beloved freedom, when the doors glowed black and slammed shut. Beast Boy skidded to a halt. Cyborg rammed into the doors, head first. Screws and bolts flew. The cyborg with the suiting name collapsed on the floor, out cold.
There was a short silence.
"Huh," Beast Boy then said.
Raven marched towards him and on the way ordered, "Starfire! Over here!"
"B-but…" Starfires mouth slammed shut when Raven sent her a menacing look, and the alien quickly obeyed the order, landing besides Beast Boy, who was still staring at Cyborg.
"Good," Raven said in a very commandeering way. "This is what's going to happen." A large cupboard in the kitchen sprung open, and a broom encircled in darkness flew over to Raven, who grabbed it graciously. "Beast Boy," she said, "You'll get rid of the mess on the floor. Gather it in a pile and do something about it."
"Hold on a second!" Beast Boy yelped, waving his arms frantically up and down, "What are you playing at?! Robin's the boss around here! You can't just –"
WHACK! WHACK-WHACK-WHACK!
"AAAAH!"
Raven moved her hand down in a bored fashion, and the broom stopped pounding on Beast Boy. "If I ask you nicely?" Raven growled.
Beast Boy gaped. He then took hold of the broom and scurried away towards the opposite end of the room, as far away from Raven as possible. The girl now turned towards Starfire, who paled an awful lot and tried to blend in with the walls. (Needless to say, she failed. After all, her hair was a vibrant shade of red).
"Starfire, you'll get Cyborg to wake up," Raven commanded. "We need all the help we can get here. You realize the whole tower look like this?!" The alien seemed determined to phase through the wall, and did not answer. Raven decided she liked her better this way. "I'll go find Robin."
"Oh!" At the sound of the brave leader's name, Starfire regained some colour, if only on her cheeks. "Should I not be the one to warn… uhm… tell him?"
Raven pointed towards the man/machine hybrid on the floor. "Cyborg. Now."
She disappeared through the doors, only to return five minutes later, this time dragging a baffled and annoyed Boy Wonder by his arm. "Raven! Stop it! What are you…"
The infamous Robin was cut of rather rudely, when Raven shoved him through the doors and into the main room. Robin stumbled a few steps, tripped over Cyborgs still motionless body and landed in Starfires lap – she was kneeling beside Cyborg. The alien's angel-like face immediately turned the same colour as her hair, and Robin scrambled away, his face even redder than Starfire's.
"So, uhm, ahem," he stammered, trying to regain composure as he got to his feet. He then seemed to remember Ravens weird behaviour (and be very relived to get a chance to yell): "What the heck is going on?!"
Raven, who had quirked an eyebrow at the lovebirds-scene, crossed her arms, completely untouched by Robins furious voice. "Well, I'll tell you: this place is a mess. Are you even aware that the refrigerator-fungus is colonising the halls now? I refuse to believe I am the only one, who has noticed – we are living in a dump! When was the last time we cleaned this place up?"
She looked firmly at Robin, her eyebrows raised in expectation, and waited for an answer. Robin seemed a little uncomfortable and tugged at the neckline of his hero-outfit.
"Well, you know, we fight a lot of villains…"
"Not all the time," Raven pointed, her eyes narrowing.
"Eh, no, but then there's… uhm. When we go for pizza?"
"Yes, we do spend a considerate amount of time devouring that particular type of food," Starfire added from the floor in a very Starfire-ish way, and Robin smiled thankfully at her.
Raven, on the other hand, was not so pleased. She scowled and opened her mouth, but was interrupted by Beast Boy, who had dared decreasing the distance between them: "Yeah, and then there's that other stuff, like, let's see… having fun?!" he exclaimed aggravated.
Raven literally growled, and Beast Boy's expression suddenly turned alarmed, before he leapt for safety behind Robin, just in case. Actually, the Boy Wonder himself wasn't feeling all the untroubled. Rather, he was becoming more and more jealous of Cyborg, who, for some strange reason, seemed to be taking a nap on the floor, and did not have to deal with the current situation.
"I have three things, I'd like to say," Raven then began, suddenly calm, though there was a shine in her eyes, that none of the conscious Titans liked at all. "1: Beast Boy will not utter any further, unnecessary words to me today, or I will make him swallow the broom." She thought for two seconds and added, "Transverse. 2: Today, I will have the command, and we will clean this place up once and for all."
She gave them all a menacing look, as if challenging them to dare try and defy her. Robin decided to let it pass. It was just for the day, and the Tower really needed to get cleaned up. Yeah, Robin thought satisfied to himself. That was the reason he didn't utter any objections.
"And for the 3rd point…" Raven finished, when no one protested: "Titans! CLEAN!"
A/N: Cheesy, cheesy, CHEESY ending, I know. But hey, Raven is pushed over edge here. Give her a break.