A/N: I have spent the last week basically trying to come up with anything POSITIVE about the finale. I came up with a few things, but we also do not know for sure that Andy didn't reach out to Sam in SOME way, so here is an example of my positive imagination at work. Hope it gives you some hope.

Huge thanks to the amazing Rookiebluefan89 for the BETA.

Disclaimer: If I had any claim to Rookie Blue, a few things would have been pretty different this year.

Andy let out a deep sigh as she leant back against her kitchen island to take one last look around her condo. After taking another mental inventory, she was sure that she was all set, but she just couldn't shake the nagging, upset feeling in her stomach that she was forgetting something that she needed.

Or maybe it was just someone.

The anxiety was slowly building in her chest as she looked over at the clock again; simultaneously wishing that the time would pass quicker and that she could rewind it just the same. Luke would be picking her up within the next ten minutes, and she'd be off to start the taskforce, become a whole new person. Sitting there alone with nothing to do, she'd never felt more confused. Andy reached her arm behind her back and blindly grabbed her cell phone off of the counter. As she stared at the screen, her thumb hovering over the speed dial, she felt that familiar rush of dueling emotions, something between anxiety and uncertainty, that's been tormenting her repeatedly over the past six weeks.

Irritated with him, with herself, and with the entire damned day, she let out a loud, frustrated groan. She really needed to call him, but not only that, she wanted to call him, and she knew that she should call him or text him or something. Yet, she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

What was she supposed to say? 'I probably would have met up with you, even though I wasn't sure if I wanted to, but either way, I can't because I'm going away for who knows how long?' Andy groaned inwardly at the thought. Yeah, that probably wasn't going to make it on to a Hallmark card anytime soon.

Plus, Luke had made it explicitly clear that she wasn't allowed to tell anyone about the operation, or even that she was leaving. How stupid would she be to break the rules and get suspended… again?

Oh, who the hell was she kidding?

Screw Luke and screw the rules. Although they were legitimate excuses for not pressing 'send', they were just that - excuses.

Deep down, Andy knew the real reason. She was hesitating because she knew that if she allowed herself to hear his voice, to picture him sitting there with his stupid hopeful grin, or to listen to one more word about dinners and dogs, then she wouldn't be able to leave.

And she really needed to.

Honestly, Sam had played with her emotions enough over the past six weeks, and really, over the course of their entire relationship. One minute he was whispering romantic sentiments in her ear, and the next he was jumping straight out of bed and into his clothes. He promised her he'd try when things got tough, only to turn away at the first sorrow. He had literally left her standing in the fucking rain; bawling her eyes out, as she begged for him to just let her in. To just please let her be there for him.

Instead, he walked away. Yes, he had needed time and space to process his feelings about everything, and especially about how the loss of his best friend would change his life. Andy really did understand that. Now she needed the same. She wanted some space to sort herself out, too. She wasn't entirely blameless for things going south either, so she just needed to gain a little perspective of her own. She realized the irony in the fact that she was someone who normally hated time and space, but at this point in her life, she needed just that.

The truth was, at that moment, Andy couldn't remember the last time she lived for herself. The past few years, she had done whatever she could to placate her dad, helping him, supporting him and catching him every time he'd fall. Of course, she'd bitten her tongue more times then she could count back when she was with Luke, and accepted less than his best just to keep him happy. Most importantly, though, Andy recognized that the blindness that comes with being truly in love had made her lose sight of everything except Sam in the past year.

So, it had to happen; she needed this time to focus on Andy. She wouldn't be any good to him or anyone else if she let herself get lost any further in her current state of discontentment and regret.

Still, she couldn't assuage the guilt of simply standing Sam up while he waited at the Penny, all hopeful and remorseful. He'd finally opened up to her, told her how he truly felt and shared dreams for the future. A future with them together, at home, and with, their dog- named Boo Radley, apparently. Once again, she had to bite her lip to keep a wide smile from forming on her face at the simple thought of it.

Back in that moment at the station, all Andy wanted to do was fall into Sam's arms and agree to be with him again. To kiss him and taste his familiar mouth, to feel his solid body pressed tightly against hers, warm and familiar and delicious. It was just too risky, though. She couldn't do anything but hold strong and stand her ground in order to let him know that she was serious. So, instead, she'd simply dropped her head to take in a deep, steadying breath, because if he reneged this time, Andy doubted that she would ever be able to breathe again.

Her eyes skimmed the condo once more before they landed on her built-in bookshelves. An idea suddenly came to her mind, and just as she has started to mentally debate the pros and cons of doing it, a quick glance at the clock affirmed that it was nearly time to go.

So, for once, she decided not to overthink it. She strode over to the books and snatched one from the third shelf on the left. She cracked it open and quickly flipped through the pages until she landed on the one that she had dog-eared forever ago. Skimming the black letters against the faintly yellowed pages, Andy found a section that had always stood out to her. When she was younger, the quote had always reminded her of her dad, but looking at it now, and really thinking about it now, she could see it in a completely different context. A very fitting context.

Re-reading it one more time, she allowed herself to reflect on the different ways that it applied to their relationship.

'So, where do we start?'

Honestly, at the time Sam had asked her that, she truly had no clue. It turned out that they didn't actually start anything. They jumped right into the middle. Much like reading a book and skipping the prologue, things weren't so clear from there. It wasn't as easy to follow along, because the subtext was harder to interpret.

Since they had already known each other for so long and been through so much together, dating and phone calls and boundaries seemed silly. Yet somehow, somewhere along the way, it was those little things that seemed to be missing between them. The dates and the small talk would normally progress into the bigger things, like vacations and big talks. Skipping the little things made it that much harder to move onto the bigger things that she so desperately wanted with him.

'We knew this was trouble even before we started.'

Well, if any part of anything he'd said during their break up made any sense at all, that aspect of it was definitely true. From the moment they'd met, it had been a complicated relationship. Andy knew right from the start that things would never be easy for them, as colleagues or anything more than that.

Of course it was trouble. They were both in way too deep before they even acknowledged it. Sam clearly wasn't a relationship guy, and deep down, Andy knew that if she got involved, he would be it for her. He would hold the power to completely destroy her heart; turning it inside and out in both the best and worst possible ways.

She really, really wasn't wrong.

Today, when he'd told her he loved her, she thought breathing was a lost cause. She had ached to hear those words for at least two years, if she was being honest with herself. But what weight did they honestly hold against his recent actions? If he really loved her as much as he claimed to today, how could he have just abandoned her like that?

The memories flashed through her mind like brief, little strikes of lightening; bright and jolting.

When the buzzer rang, interrupting her subconscious, Andy darted over to her desk near the front door. She snatched a yellow highlighter out of the top drawer and marked the phrase currently plaguing her brain. Then, she snagged a sticky note off the stack, pasted it opposite the highlighted section and scribbled furiously as her doorbell buzzed for the second time. Luke could wait a minute; she had to make sure that she got the wording just right. Andy wiped away an errant tear from her cheek as she signed the note. Quickly closing the book, Andy grabbed her bags, threw them over her shoulder, and headed towards the door to start her new life.

She hesitated for just a second as she locked the door behind her; debating for the final time whether or not she was making the right decision, until a voice from that afternoon echoed in her mind.

'Here comes the tricky part; you've got to let go.' So… she did just that.

If Sam meant it, if he really did love her, he'd understand - both the quote and her departure.

"You all set?" Luke asked as she climbed into the passenger's seat. "Everything in order?"

Andy nodded slowly as she looked over at him and sighed. "I guess."

She noticed Luke's eyebrows bounce up slightly at that. "You told me that you were ready for this," he reminded her.

"I am," she assured him. "I just need one final thing before I leave." Andy assumed that her pleading eyes clued Luke in to exactly what or who she was thinking about.

"No." He shook his head sharply. "Andy, we don't have the time, and this information is too vital…"

"Not that." Andy cut him off quickly, shaking her head and frowning a bit. "I'm not asking to go see him. Can you just…? I need you to do something for me." When it looked like Luke was about to protest again, she added, "Please?"

Luke knew the idea was risky, but, truth be told, he thought that he probably owed this to her. After everything was said and done, he really did care about her, and he wanted her to be happy.

He took a second to really look at her. He could see the urgency on her face and knew that this was something he had to relent on. Taking the proffered parcel from her hand, he asked, "Is this your last bit of baggage?"

"Yes, sir," Andy confirmed with a slight smile. It felt good to say it out loud, because it really was time to let go. She was ready to leave her old life, to leave behind the half-assed attempts at normalcy, the lonely mornings and the guarded hearts. It was time to move forward, and there was nothing left to hold on to anymore; nothing but a little bit of hope.

Luke nodded slightly and gave her a reluctant smile in agreement before he put the car in drive and started out towards the long road ahead of them.

E/N: Next up is Sam. Let me know what you thought, please.