A/N: ok a few things

This is and Edward Bella story but starts with her seeing Jake - ther will be a fair use of Jake - its in the story!!

The condition Edward has is real and you will find out what eventually, but this being FF I'm taking some writing liberties - so there!!

Starts off a bit light but It will make its way to its M raiting with drama, sex, swearing and nudity - you have been warned!!

Please let me know what you think - your reviews are really important and I need to know if you like where I'm going - I'm not a mind reader - unfortunatly!!

Of course - Enjoy!!

Chapter 1

BPOV

I sat there wide eyed and guilty as hell. I held on to the sheet, my nails digging into the material hoping this was all some kind of bad dream.

He looked down at me his eyes open just like mine. His whole face mirrored mine. You could see the tension build in his arms. His fist griping on to the door handle, trying to free some of the anger that no doubt swam through his veins.

I was regretful, I was ashamed, I was penitent.

But I wasn't sorry.

His eyes filled me with sorrow at everything that had happened, everything I had done, everything he was seeing.

But I wasn't sorry.

I could never try or ever would be sorry for any part of it.

Five months and two weeks earlier

23rd of September

I stood up looking at the building; it was old, classic and beautiful. The dark red stone made its presence even more unmistakable as it drew you in with its arched windows and entrances. The main entrance with the half a dozen stairs leading to it's opening was grand and almost majestic in its appearance.

"You ready?" I heard him call as I looked up from where I stood, next to my beaten up red truck. The exact opposite of the definitions I would have used to describe the building but some how it felt like the two some how matched in there differences. I loved my truck and looking up at the halls that would become my new home I knew I loved being here already.

I nodded as I turned to the back of my truck, pulling at the protective water proof cover that coved my belongings and trying to lift out one of the bags.

"Bells, I'll get that, it looks like it could carry you in it." He laughed and I joined in knowing that it probably could do.

He walked around to my side pulling it out with ease and slinging it over his shoulder just like he had done with me many a time while joking around or the once I decided to get drunk on my own after a huge fall out over something ridiculous with Charlie and he took me to his place while I sobered up and threw up while praying to god to 'let me just die already'.

Jacob

One word and it was everything to me.

I had known Jake for two years and we had been together for one year and eleven months. Ever since I had moved to Forks to live with my dad, to give my newly wed mother some real honeymoon time I knew she craved with her husband, we had been side by side.

He was a year younger than me but It never made a blind bit of difference, he was care free and often pulling me into ridiculous ideas like cliff diving. We had even built up two old motorbikes together and would often speed through miles and miles of field buy the reservation. There were many trips that was needed to emergency after I had small collisions with nothing but the air in front of me. I was a little clumsy to say the least.

This year Jake would finish school and next year he would go to college or look for a job that would teach him on becoming a mechanic. It's what he loved and if it made him happy it made me happy. It was going to be tough but we would survive. We had mobiles, e-mail, and we could still travel the three hours it took from Seattle to Forks to see each other. We would be fine. We could withstand anything.

At least that's what I told myself.

We walked through the long corridor with a piece of paper in my hand looking for my room. 323 was my new room number. It was located on the third floor along the far end, the door opposite was marked 324. I opened it up slowly, half excited and half terrified at what I would find behind it.

There was a small pixie like girl with black spiky hair stood with a wide smile on her face greeting me with a hug as soon as I entered the room.

"Hi, I'm Alice." She beamed proudly and excited as she bounced on the soles of her feet. I liked her already. Her energy was infectious.

"Hi, I'm Bella." I hugged her gently back a little in shock but definitely not opposed to the friendly contact.

She pulled back from me glancing up at Jake. "This is Jake, my boyfriend." I waved a hand in his direction. "He's also the great guy that will climb all the stair with my stuff while I pretend to look busy at unpacking." I smiled up at him jokingly fluttering my eyelashes at him

She laughed. "I don't have a boyfriend to do that for me so instead I talked my brother into doing it for me. He can carry the heavy stuff, I'm tiny, I barley manage to carry along my own purse never mind all the stuff I brought here with me."

She was right she must have been about half a foot shorter than me and I was pretty small. I wasn't lying when I said she was like a pixie.

"So what side do you want?" She asked as she stood with a bag at her feet in the middle of the room.

"Any, I don't mind." I shrugged.

"Oh thank god, I waited in case I had to share with some demanding 'daddy's little princess' who had to sleep on the left cause her Tai Chi instructor said so." She let out flatly with her running a hand through the end of her hair.

We laughed, "I think you mean 'Feng shui'" Jake corrected.

"Whatever." She waived with another laugh while rolling here eyes. "I'll take the left then." She joked raising her eyebrows up then down but still threw her bag down on to the bed.

I threw down the bag on to the bed on the right and threw myself down on to it too. "You know, it would be super great if you could get that big box for me that's in the truck." I smiled sweetly at Jake.

He rolled his eyes at me and nodded like I knew he would. And with that he was back out the door.

"He seems nice." Alice eyed me up from the over side of the room.

I nodded in response still gazing at the door from where he had just left before I faced her. "He's great." I smiled at her but knowing how much I was going to miss him.

"How long have you two been together?" She asked me, not being nosey, but friendly, getting to know me.

"Almost two years now." I thought of proudly.

She nodded "Wow, that's a long time and he still gives you that look. Aww to have a nice man look at me like that..." she sighed

I smiled shyly at her before quickly breaking away my glance to my lap pulling a piece of hair behind my right ear.

"It's good to see." She let out slightly more serious but truthful in her words.

"Here is bag number two." A huge muscular looking guy walked in throwing the bag down in the floor while letting out a small moan. He looked like he could be a football player. And knock them all on to there backs.

"Ah don't kid yourself, it's light as a feather for you, I've seen the way you throw Rose around." She reached for the huge bag before pulling on the zip and began raking through its contents placing clothes down at the side of her and on the edge of the bed. "This is my brother Emmett by the way." She nodded in his direction losing her interest to her bag.

"Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Bella." I reached out my hand and shook his.

"Nice to meet you Bella." He smiled down at me. You could tell that the two were related; his hair was brown but only by a few degrees lighter than Alice's black locks and the same energy buzzed from them. Excitable, child like and care free.

It was a good energy to be around and only made me feel more relaxed than I already was. It felt like home already.

"Looking forward to the start of school?" he asked and completely interested.

"Yeh, it's going to be great. I can't wait for it. I just can't wait to get into a new routine" I said as I felt the bubbles of excitement swell in my gut at my new life.

"What do you do?" I asked him resting my chin on my hand as I looked up at him from my bed.

"I go here too, so does my girlfriend, Rosalie, we live together about fifteen minutes off of campus. I'm going into my second year of Architecture. It's good, it's a good school. " He tells me sure of himself easing any worry I had about starting my lessons.

"Yeh his ever suffering girlfriend." There was a tall blonde that spoke from behind him pushing him further into the room making him almost fall over the bag he sat at his feet that Alice was still rifling through. "Hi, I'm Rosalie." She smiles warmly at me holding out her hand for me to shake.

"Bella." I tell her smiling at her shaking her hand.

"Nice to meet the person that has the nerves to put up with this one for a year." She jokes.

"You love me really, Rose." Alice chips in from her crouched pose on the floor before sticking out her tongue at Rosalie.

"I love you, I just couldn't live with you." She teases more. "Seriously this girl is constantly on the go. I mean Emmett has some energy," she smiles at her boyfriend slyly "but her," she points at Alice "she just goes on and on. She's a total pain on the ass." Rolling her eyes, half joking and I think half serous; either way you can tell they are close by her tone.

"Ok, I managed the rest of your stuff." Jake let out a groan as he sets down the box and another bag that I forgot all about as he came back into the room meeting the other two. "Hi, I'm Jake." He gives a small salute to Emmett and Rosalie.

"Emmett." "Rosalie." They both call out one after another.

"So you were the one drafted in for the heavy work?" Emmett gives a small knowing smile to Jake.

"Yeh, something like that. Someone had to make sure she got here in one piece."

"Hey, fresh start, clumsiness left back in Forks thank you very much." I jokingly scaled him and give him a small slap with the back of my hand to his torso as I stood up.

"Bells, the bad news is that it's never going to leave you, sorry to be the one to tell you." He wraps an arm around me pulling me into his warm chest kissing the top of my head.

It's her I realize that I won't have this every day, I wont have him sneaking into my bedroom anymore, I won't have him catch me as I stumble through everyday life. His warmth, his charm, his ability to make me laugh when I feel like I could cry, will be gone. I don't know how I will survive without him here. We have been together side by side for so long it will feel like I've lost a limb or a vital organ.

My heart

I suddenly feel myself tear up. I feel my eyes glaze up and my grip on him tightens. "You ok?" he whispers into my ear, knowing and with that I break, I pull my face into his chest and cling on for dear life.

"Well I still have a bag to bring up..." I hear Emmett speak before I hear Alice's sing song voice saying she will join him and Rosalie following behind them as they disappear out the room leaving the two of us alone.

As the door closes Jake pulls me down onto the bed peeling me off of his form and tilting my head up until my eyes meet his.

"Hey." He whispers out.

"Hey." I reply back.

"You gonna be ok?" He asks with concern laced in his voice.

I nod. "I'm just going to miss you." I said while I wipe a stray tear from my face.

"Yeh, well I'm going to miss you too but I can visit and I'll call you every day." He promised me.

I nod meekly again. "Just promise this wont change anything. It's only one year, we can do this." I let out little above a whisper.

"Listen Bella, it won't change anything," he defiantly shakes his head at the thought of this ever parting us. "we can do this. I love you" His large warm hands grip my face and pull me into his lips with his positive attitude radiating through me warming me to my core.

"Your right, I mean it will suck, but we can do this. We love each other. That's all that matters that all that counts." I reach to his lips letting the moment consume us with both our grief for the moment but hope for the future.

"Is it safe?" I hear Emmett's booming voice from the other side of the door.

"Emmett…" I hear Alice chide her brother also from the other said of the door.

The door opens and Alice's head pops around the corner with her bright smile as her spikes bounce around the side of her head. "All sorted?" she asks as she glances at Jacobs and I, laying along the length of the bed as I nod and begin to pull myself up with Jake's strong arm toying with me keeping me in my place.

"Jake." I let out with a little chuckle as I slap his arm away pulling myself up and him joining me as the three of them come bounding back in to me and Alice's new room.

"I'm sorry." Rosalie begins. "This must be really hard for you Bella." She smiles a small sweet smile in my direction. "We are all lucky we have our family and friends around us." I feel a pang of jealousy at her words but I know that she doesn't mean for it to sound like that. "Anytime you need someone, were here." She shrugged knowing that it wouldn't be what I want but maybe just what I need. She placed a shielding hand at the side of her mouth and whispered "Even if it's just to get away from this one." She rolled her eyes in the direction of Alice with a cheeky grinning smile.

"I heard that." Alice lets out loudly and flatly.

"Oh you did…That's too bad." Rosalie's sarcastic tone is fun and makes me laugh.

"Thanks, I'll remember that." I promise her.

"You do that, this is my number, just in case…" she handed me a small tear of paper with seven digits scrawled along it. "Even if it's just because you managed to lock yourself out in the middle of the night and can't get Alice, ok." I nod in agreement at her generosity.

"Hey, don't go stealing my new friend already, Rose." Alice pipes up in the background with her joking tone. "I saw her first." She adds.

Jake lets out a soft aww as if he's looking down at a puppy or something "See now I'm not so worried about leaving you here, now." His hand running through the back of my hair and down my back.

Now I really do feel like things will be alright here, that I will sleep easy with them looking out for me.

The five of us sit around talking as me and Alice begins the task of unpacking, the atmosphere feeling fun, light and full of new things.

The next thing I knew the door bursts open and in comes a tall, lean boy around my age. His features are strong and perfect as his copper hair stands wildly up in its own form, messy but also perfect, it shines with the sun hitting it with the light streaming through the window from the clear day we are having. His eyes shimmer with a dozen shades of green in them with the sun also hitting off them and you can see the window frame reflect in them. He wears black jeans that look like they hang slightly low down on his frame, his look finished with a light blue button down shirt that is rolled up at the sleeves revelling more of his Ivory skin that you see on his face and neck going down to his chest where the buttons meet and hide the rest of his body.

He looks like he doesn't belong to Emmett or Alice in comparison to the hair and the skin tone, that his is several shades lighter to theirs but there is something about him and you just know that he is actually related to them. There are small similarities that bind the three together.

Walking into the middle of the room he passes me just slightly by a few inches closer to Alice as he stands there looking at her wanting something from her.

"I need to eat." He demands, his voice is like chocolate, smooth and creamy but also dark with his demand almost aggressive to the little pixie.

Alice just simply turns to him and smiles "Edward," she greets him. "This is Bella." She waves in my direction.

His facial expression doesn't change and he stands rooted to his spot before beginning again. "I need to eat."

"No you don't, you can wait half an hour." She tells him. "This is Bella." She try's again. "And that's Jake." She waives in his direction.

He stands there testing her, never breaking there look. She was talking to him, some how she was, without any words though.

"Edward, please, be nice." She smiled almost nervously at him, I think from some kind of embarrassment. But her words are firm "This is Bella." She waved in my direction once again

He turned his head slowly looking over his right shoulder, his green eyes meeting my brown ones. I gave a small nervous wave as his head snapped back around to Alice giving me no other signs of acknowledgement.

"I need to eat." He told her again.

"No you don't Edward. You can at least try to be sociable for five minutes and at least say hello." She begins to ask him how he is getting on with his unpacking.

"Fine." He lets out tiredly as he looks at the floor as if he is bored with her.

"And your roommate?" She asks with hope in her tone.

He shrugs.

"A name?" Her eyebrows rose.

He shrugs again.

"Jesus, Edward, did you even talk to him?" she asks him, looking like she was in a loosing battle.

"He had a guitar." He tells her, as if she should be impressed.

"So does he play in a band or something?" Alice slightly hopeful at his random observation that he had made.

"Don't know, I never spoke to him." Alice looked slightly horrified but not at all shocked at her earlier predication.

"Oh for god sake Edward, go and at least try to find out his name." she told him almost like a child. "Before we go for food." She finished with a smirk, blackmailing him.

With that he turned on his heels and sped through the door slamming it on his way out back in to the hall.

"Uugh, what a dick." She lets out obviously infuriated by her brothers' actions.

"Easy on Alice." Emmett tells her.

"Don't even start Emmett. You don't know what it's really like." She tells him off. I feel like I'm intruding on some real family issue that is none of my business before Emmett turns to me.

"Sorry about that, my brother, he has some…social issues." He tells me, slightly unsure of his word choice.

"Some." Alice spits out.

"Alice…" Emmett warns her.

"No Emmett, Bella, Edward has…well he has a kind of condition, he doesn't like people too much really." She shrugged. "But he still shouldn't have gotten away with that."

"That's how he is." Emmett corrects her.

"That's how he is because people let him away with it." She crossed her arms looking down at her brother who was relaxed sitting on the bed and leaning against the wall. "You like to live in your little bubble and think he's ok. He's not, he's a rude arrogant prick." She let out with a long sigh.

"I know what he's like-" Emmett began.

"No. You. Don't." Alice shook her head raising her sweet little voice. "You got your nice little apartment for you and Rose to move into last year, I got here," She let out with her palms open to the room. "baby sitting Edward, while he's forced into being sociable by dad." She threw herself down into a chair that sat by a desk on her side of the room.

"I know it's not fair, but you're the one he goes to." Emmett told her. "You're his twin, he feels close to you, even if all he is doing is trying to piss you off."

"I just don't see how it has to be me all the time. I have to go around with him while he goes around treating people exactly like that." she spoke before pointing her hand in my direction. "I didn't even get to go where I wanted, I'm here cause it was best for Edward." She let out a little sob.

Her fire and her energy had all been extinguished by the few minutes her brother was in the room.

I disliked him already.

Emmett stood up from his seat and went to his sister and pulled her up from her seat crashing her into him in a tight bear hug. "I'm sorry." He told her as she nodded accepting his apology. "I'll do more now that he's here; you don't need to be burdened with him all alone."

"I'm not…He's not…It's Edward. I love him. I do. But sometimes it just gets all too much for me."

"We know honey. This isn't just a new start for him; it's a new start for you too. You need to make sure your happy with what you do." Rosalie's voice called from behind the mass of Emmett and Alice tangled together.

And with that the three of them settled down again and we slipped into random conversation.

I looked up at him at the bus station willing the tears to stop but it was no use.

"Ok Bells, no more tears, come on I'm never going to be able to leave you with that sad look on your face." He kissed my forehead with a small peck.

"Well don't. You can leave school and move down here, we could get the money back from the halls and put it towards an apartment." I let out in one desperate breath, needing him near.

"Ok, now who just lost there mind?" he raised his eyebrows in shock at my pleading.

"I'm serious." I pulled on to the sides of his zip down red hoddie never wanting to let go of him.

He smiled that smile at me when all reason has left me "I know your serious, but look Bells, you look like you have made yourself a couple of real nice friends today." He kissed my lips "You will survive without me."

I pulled him closer to me reaching for the back of his short dark hair, feeling the comfort of him run through my fingers.

He pulled away looking serous at me, "If that guy gives you any grief, I want you to tell me straight away ok."

I nod a yes, but know it most likely won't happen; the memory of Jake breaking Mike Newton's nose because he grabbed a boob in bio one day still haunts me. We were younger then, I wouldn't want to see his anger if he thought I was scared of someone now.

"Ok well I need to go, as much as it will kill me." His white smile is illuminated against his copper skin and I melt inside with how beautiful he looks.

"Don't leave." I plead one last time with him all ration completely leaving me.

"Bella, your killing me her, you know I can't, so don't ask me. I'll give in and we'll have both Charlie and my dad out looking for us."

I nod knowing he's right again.

He pulled me close to his warm body as I begin to shiver and shake at the thought of him leaving my side.

"Hey," he whispers in my ear. "No crying, we'll get through this, remember." His warm breath moves closer to my ear placing a small kiss across it before moving back and letting our mouths consume one another in a long heated goodbye kiss.

He pulled away and breaking our contact as his arm slides down my arm and let's go at my wrist.

I'm stand by the side of the tarmac as his bus pulls away, all the time Jake making funny faces as the tears run down my face laughing before he falls out of sight with one last blown kiss that I catch and place on my hurting heart.

I make it back to the halls five minutes later parking outside, looking up at the building I love and I know it's a change and I hate that, but I can't not help feel the excitement and love I feel for my new home. I check my red rimmed eyes in the mirror and blink heavily trying to make the red on the whites soften.

I walk up the red stone stairs I love so much and smile to myself.

Making my room I walk into the three bodies that I left.

"You were quicker than I thought." Alice beams as she looks at me in the eyes, assessing them.

I nod in agreement.

"Do you want to come for some dinner, were just going to head soon." Emmett asks me.

"Yeh, I kind of hoped you could come along." Alice bounced as she grabbed hold of my arm puling me down onto my bed with her.

"I'm starving." I let out a little light relief at finally the thought of food.

"Excellent. Now we just have to get Edward." Her look is happy but also apologetic.

I have no idea what to expect but I don't change my mind. Its college after all, It's all about meeting new people and I couldn't turn down dinner with my three new friends.

Please review!!!

This story had been in my mind ever since I read twilight and finally i'v decided to get it out. Let me know what you think. I really would love your feed back

ohh and any guesses about Edward?

Chapter two has been writen and will be put up when i get some good feed back - I dont like to be mean - It just get shit done!! lol

peace