Hey guys~ So this is my second novel-like story that I'm doing -3- I'm so excited! I'm looking forward to writing this, I really am, and I seriously hope you guys love reading it just as much. This is sorta like, a present for all my Beautiful Liar followers ^_^ However, if you've never read Beautiful Liar, welcome to probably the first story you've read by me xD
Okay, so I wanna apologize first off and get a few things straight right now. This is an AU story of KuroFai, which is a yaoi...well sorta...you'll know what I mean later on. That being said, please, please keep in mind that this story takes place in a small homophobic town where Kurogane is a teenager with teenage emotions that's only ever grown up and knows what he knows from the town. So, I'm sorry for any OOCness, I'm just trying to stay true to the plot line, but it'll change a little more as it progresses to his actual personality. If you don't think you can handle it (which I'm highly sure that it's not going to be too OOC) then please leave, if not CONTINUE ON BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE GREAT!
Anyway, now that the long author's note is out of the way, and I swear it won't be that long always...let's embark on this new journey xD Hope you guys enjoy~~~
Italics means thoughts or memories ; T means scene change or time passing
KUROGANE POV
Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa, the characters, or the story...this is just my own creative plot twist
I've never been one to care about anyone's past, it doesn't matter...but Fai's past does matter. It's different. After all, his past is practically our past. I know who he is and what he's like, I've grown up with him. Which is why his past actually does bother me...
And it's been driving me insane all day! I growl in my throat having the moron's face keep forming over and over. Normally it doesn't bother me...well, no too much anway... However, thanks to a certain dream last night, I can't get him out of my mind. I feel my face harden and I bare my teeth remembering it again.
"Hey, Kurogane, can you meet up with me in the park? There's something really important I feel I need to tell you." I grimace again when listening to the message. The idiot didn't even bother to use a nickname and his tone was real serious, ver unusual for that guy...wonder what's so important it'd cause Fai to be like that?
"Press zero to delete this message. Press seven to repeat this message," the obviously robotic female voice sounds through the speaker, naming the list of options. I move the phone away from my ear and start to press seven to listen to his message again and decrypt what his emotions could possibly be conveying, but the long list of sevens lining up next to each other on the screen makes me decide against it. If I haven't figured out more then what I already learned by now then I'm obviously not gonna find anything else...
After sliding my phone back into my pocket, I stare into the fog haze that's settled over the field in front of me that'll be full with tons of people playing sports, having a picnic, or any of the other various activities they do on the field when the afternoon comes about. The sun's rays barely cut through the thick, misty grey sky that only seems to occur during an undisturbed, wet morning. A slight breeze ruffles the relaxed trees and runs through my short, black spikes of har, kissing my face softly. Frankly, I'd find this atmosphere to be quite relaxing and enjoyable, had a blonde's face and voice not be captivating all my thoughts.
Okay, so what all emotions dripped in his voice...? He was obviously serious, then there seemed to be a small amount of happiness...but there was also a lot of hesitance and fear...The hell could've brought that on Fai? I notice my lips pursed and I slump into the bench, body sliding down with my arms crossed over my chest. Dammit, where is he at? It annoys me that he calls me this early in the morning to meet up, then takes forever in showing up. Then again, he did sound sort of scared in his message, so maybe he chickened out at the last minute. A sigh slips past my lips thinking of that possibility. It really does concern me that he sounded so different than usual, especially since he's pretty good at hiding his emotions anyway. I want to know what's so important that the blonde would be so conflicted over it like this.
"Kuro-tan!" A musically feminine voice calls from down the trail, followed by quick, rythmic footsteps. Turning my attention in the direction, the form of a hazy silhouette running toward me begins to clear and reveal a lithe yound male, beautiful blonde locks bouncing gracefully with each of his strides.
"There you are, moron. Took you long enough." He finally slows before he throws himself over with his hand resting on the bench to support his panting body.
"That's some way to greet your best friend in the morning~" He chuckles breathlessly.
"I have every right to greet you that way! Not only did you call extremely early on a Saturday morning when I should be sleeping in, you made me wait twenty minutes on this bench for you!" He smiles up at me apologetically before moving to finally sit down next to me, eyes becoming usddenly distant.
"Sorry, I just figured it'd be best to tell you this when no one's around but you and me..." I notice him keep the grin on his face, but his voice betrays him a few times in showing a small bit of fear and nervousness. Feeling my eyes narrow, I lean in a bit more to him, trying to get a better look so I don't miss any change in this all-too-common facade he insists on keeping up.
"So, what's up? What's so important you went through this trouble to tell?" I see him tense up, mask falling slightly before he immediately patches it back up.
"Well, I..." His hand begins shaking, involuntarily I'm sure. He opens his mouth to speak again. "I..." he says, voice more shakey than before and I almost wonder if he's going to cry under this unknown pressure and stress he's feeling. The trembling makes its way up his arm and into his shoulders, eventually shaking away his annoying fake smile and unsheathing his real emotions. Half concious of what I'm doing, I place my hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down in some way.
"Fai..."
Lips parting and eyes widening a bit, his shoulders finally fall with his head, eyes closing as a sigh breaks past his lips. I watch as he straightens back up, hesitation leaving his face, replaced with determination which intrigues me to no end. What's going on in your mind, blondie?
"Okay," he takes in a deep breath, turning his body to face me, perserverance written all over his face, yet a small amount of fear and...regret, I think, spiraling violently in his sapphire eyes. "Kurogane, I'm..." I notice him clench his fist out of the corner of my eye. "I'm gay."
Someone runs into me, sending my shoulder back from the sudden impact and causing an irritated growl to sound from my throat. Turning to glare at the guy, he turns also, eyes widening slightly and his face falling victim to a small bit of fear.
"Oh, sorry, Suwa. Was rushing down the hallway, didn't mean to run in to you..." he says, shrinking gradually while trying to defend himself.
"Whatever," I snarl back at him, throwing my body around to continue on my rampage to another class where I won't be able to focus any of my freaking attention into. Trying to keep my focus concentrated on anything esle but my memories that decided to take the form of dreams and haunt me all day, I finally just give in and allow my thoughts so slip into those memories again.
My thumb pressed down hard again on the reject button after reading the caller's ID. I lazily toss the phone across the bed, watching it bounce twice before settling into the black sheets, blending in nearly perfectly. I turn my head to glare at the defenseless wall, as though my problems would just be sucked into it or the hole I'm trying to bored will at least take some of my anger with it. I jump off my bed, pacing in irritation. It's not just anger, it's disgust, shock, and...and...hurt, and confusion. How the hell was I supposed to know my best friend was gay? I never would've guessed or even gotten the notion. My pacing slows, then stops before starting up again. Okay, maybe he does come across as girly, and he does have a high-pitched voice, and he does act kind of like a girl, and dresses...sort of feminine...and is...into broadway...and singing and theatre... Growling in extreme annoyance, I grip hard on my hair tangled between my fingers, stopping my pacing altogether and falling back onto my bed.
Okay, so he does come across as the typical gay guy, but I never once though of him like that...it just seemed so unlikely to happen here in this town that the idea never crossed my mind...he just seemed like any other guy to me...I never would've seen this coming... I let out a long, heavy sigh, rolling my head over onto it's side to stare at the glossy black cellular device within arm's reach beside me. Even now he's still no different to me...other than the fact that he's gay, nothing's changed. Besides, wasn't I always taught not to judge and accept people for who they are by my mother...? Closing my eyes with another sigh following, I push myself up into a sitting postion and stare down at my phone. My hand eventually reaches for it, seeming to be at an agonizingly slow speed. What the hell am I doing? The screen lights up with life after pressing the unlock button, the missed calls notification staring back bluntly and unmoving at me, displaying three days worth of missed calls and messages all from one blonde. Pushing down on the button that enables me to listen to them, I slowly raise the phone up to rest beside my ear.
"First missed message:" the annoying female's voice informs, interrupted by a more distraught male voice sobbing into the phone, almost making me pull away.
"Kurogane, please pick up! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please answer me!" His words are interrupted by him sobbing for a few seconds. "Please! I didn't mean to upset you! Just please pick up!" He sobs for a few more seconds before the phone's disconnected and that female voice starts again, telling me the options before pausing and moving onto the next message with Fai sobbing again.
"...Kurogane...please pick up. I understand you don't want to talk to me...but please..." The words sound harshly choked by the violent sobs erupting from his throat. "Please, Kurogane...I'm...already starting to fall apart. I'm so s-sorry th-that I m-m-made you m-mad. I'm be-beg-ging you to, p-please...call me! PLEASE!" I immediately pull the phone away from my ear, grimacing at the pain in his voice. The mumbling from the phone operater fills the silence in my room. Quickly exiting out of the messages, I don't want to listen to another message like that from Fai, I don't need to. My fingers beat hastily on the keys that form's Fai's number before hitting talk, listening to the ringing of the line trying to connect. Barely noticing the impatient tapping of my finger on my leg, there's a clicking sound, followed by a few moments of silence, then a musical male voice.
"...Hello?" Fai asks shakily, sounding as though he were crying earlier but I also notice he seems to sound shocked and maybe even a bit fearful.
"Fai? Hey, it's me, Kurogane."
"Kurogane...!" He says into the phone astounded.
"Sorry about not answering sooner and-"
"Kurogane! Please! Meet me in the park!"
"W-what?"
"Please!" He literally sounds desperate to me, nearly making me wince. "Meet me in person!" He hangs up before I have time to protest, irriating me slightly but mainly just getting a sigh out of me.
"I don't suppose he means tomorrow..." I mumble to myself, already outside my door and heading for the stairs. The smells of my mother's cooking fills my nose, making me wonder if I should being any for him, but decide not to.
"Goin out, Mom! Be back soon!" I call to her, seeing her lively, yet converned face poke around the corner.
"Where are you going?" She questions, confusion ringing undeniably.
"To the park. Gonna meet up with Fai..." She purses her lips, understanding lighting up her features. I know that she's more than aware of the fact that Fai and I haven't been speaking, so it only makes sense that she'd let me go like she is.
"Alright, behave yourself. Ask him to dinner if you'd like also," she says before disappearing again.
"'Kay," I yell back halfheartedly while slipping on my last shoe, sliding out the door and making my way to the park. I see people begin leaving while I pass by, feeling relieved when the last group of people leave the field after sitting down and watching them for a while.
"Damn blonde, always making me the one who waits." I glare down at the darkened concrete path, listening to the soft breeze and cracks of thunder off in the far distance. Is it gonna storm tonight? I chuckle to myself, thinking about what's really bothering me. Should I even be here...? Another clap of thunder sounds a little closer but that's the least of my worries when hearing hasty tapping against the cement coming toward me. All doubts that were just conflicting in my mind instantly die and I push myself off the bench, pivoting my body in time to feel Fai slam into me, arms wrapping around me in a tight embrace and without thinking I return it.
"Kurogane! I'M SORRY! I'M REALLY SORRY!" I feel him slide to his knees, hands gripping tightly on my pants. Wetness slides down my face and dabbles my shirt's fabric when another bang of thunder echoes above us, drowning out his sobs but only for a short moment. "I'M SORRY! I should've never said anything! I should've never came out to you and I should have kept it to myself! That was wrong of me! I shouldn't have thought so selfishly! It was wrong of me to make you feel uncomfortable and I'm so sorry for that! I promise I'll never push anything onto you so please...please forgive me..." He sobs into my pants, the tears beginning to seep in, getting my knees wet where the rain hasn't already. I shouldn't...I shouldn't forgive him... All this development is gonna do is make it hard on both of us in this town. It'd be so much easier to walk away and not get myself involved with a gay kid. So, why am I sinking down to the ground with him? I wrap my arms around him, holding him close and running my fingers through his drenched, yet still soft hair.
"Fai..." The claps of thunder surround our huddled bodies, making a strange harmony with his sobs.
The sudden ringing from the bell makes me flinch a bit. I listen to the people shuffling around me, screeching the chairs across the tile floors and moving to make ways to their next classes. Of course I don't really need to pack up considering I didn't even pull anything out since I was so lost in thought, thank goodness I sit in the back. Dammit, another class I didn't pay attention to at all. Stupid blonde...
Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I follow after the last straggler still slightly dazed. How annoying... Of course I had dreamed about that memory last night, but I don't even remember where it really stopped or how in to detail it really went, but it just sort of took a life of its own and the whole memory played out before me, to my annoyance may I add. It's been four years since it's happened and it's still so clear in my mind. It pisses me off. I notice a few people go out of their way to steer clear of me while I walk down the hallway, which probably means that I more than likely appear to be in a bad mood. But I am! They should be moving out of the way anyway! Groaning to myself, I freeze when turning the corner and seeing the devil himself. I feel the tenseness in my face soften, then tighten again when catching a glimpse of who's standing in front of him, making the smaller teen shrink back into the lockers as far as he can go. Damn Kyle, you bastard...
"What's the matter, pretty-boy? Too afraid to fight back and break a nail? We just couldn't live were your hair to get all messed up and tangled!" I see Fai's mouth move, but I can't hear what he's saying. However, I do hear Kyle's repulsive laughing at whatever he said. God I wanna tear his head off! Glancing around for any teacher at all, it only enrages me even more to see anyone making an effort to come to his rescue. Shogo's girlfriend's voice sounds from down the hall next to Shogo and he turns to Fai one more time.
"Quit acting like such a girl, fag," he tells him, sauntering away. I clench my fist, trying to keep from lunging at him. I take a deep a breath before walking over to Fai, smiling with his stupid fake grin.
"Don't listen to that asshole, he's just a loser who has nothing better to do than pick at someone else to make himself feel all high and mighty," I tell him, shoving my hands into my pockets.
"You always tell me that...but I start to question myself whether they're right and all...if I really should change...or if I should even burden then anymore with me living..."
"WHOA! HELL NO! Don't you dare go running off and killing yourself! I'll resurrect you and kill you again myself!" I pull back a little realizing that that'd only defeat the purpose. "...THEN I'LL RESURRECT YOU AGAIN AND CHEW YOU OUT WHILE I'M KICKING YOUR SORRY ASS!" He chuckles lightly, only making me angrier. I'm about to chew him out again but he speaks, stopping any sentences from forming.
"And how are you going to resurrect me exactly?"
"I'll find some way, but that's not the point. The point is, is that you shouldn't listen to low-lifes like them. Shove it in their faces! Tell them all who you truly area dn be prideful in it! Because I like you for who you truly are." His grin falls and his eyes widen, face lighting up, looking more lively than it has for a while.
"You really think so, Kuro-chuu?"
"If I didn't then I wouldn't be telling you." The late bell chimes, making me murmer a string of curse words under my breath. He nods to me happily, a real smile taking form that surprises me.
"See you later, Kuro-rin~" He yells over his retreating body's shoulder. With nothing more than a wave of my hand, I turn to run to my next class, mentally preparing myself for the scolding I'll probably recieve for being late...again.
T
It's a good thing I managed to get to this class in time. Just as I suspected, I got scolded... My lip twitches remembering it. Just like Kakei-san to not let me sit down and point me out to the whole class...did he really have to tell them all about my confusion on how hormone medicane can effect guys in a more...feminine way... He told them all about how I was ranting about how cute that girl was...then his assistant, Saiga, pulled me over explaining how that was a picture of a man on hormones. Right...never be late to his class again...
Sighing, I rest my chin in my upraised palm and stare out the window, drowning out the teacher's lecture with my thoughts again. Ever since my dream, memories keep flooding back into my mind with Fai and I. I was trying to fight it earlier, but deemed it useless and just let them come and pass now.
"Ne, Kuro-pon, why did you bring me to the park?"
"I wanted to give you something." I feel my chest tighten remembering this scene. This one and my dream stir the most of my emotions. However, it's not long before I fall victim once more, held hostage in my rememberance.
"What is it!" the hyperactive blonde questions, sitting beside me who's aleady exhausted by his actions and mood.
"Do you not understand the meaning of patience?" I ask, massaging my temples with my eyes closed. He giggles and I see him shake his head playfully.
"It doesn't help that you got me all excited~"
"Well, I suppose you should be happy today."
"Hm?" he hums in question, grinning at me with that innocent confusion that seems to make my heart speed up for some reason. I swallow it back then rustle in my pocket.
"Well, duh, it's your birthday after all, idiot. Here, got this for ya," I say with a small grin, a black cat dangling from my grip. He gasps happily, snatching for the keychain.
"No way! You got me that kitty keychain that I liked so much!?"
"Well, I remember that you really liked it but didn't have the money to get it. So, I decided I'd get it for ya. It was either this or that pheonix tattoo that you seemed to have an eye for, but I don't think that would go over too-" His lips press gingerly against mine, cutting me off. It suprises me at first, in fact I don't even comprehend the fact that is kissing me, but when I do, all hell breaks loose.
Immediately I shove him way from me harshly, wiping off my lips as though it were something I could just rub off.
"WHAT THE HELL!?" He stares back, dumbstuck at what he just did.
"Oh my gosh, I just...I didn't..." tears begin to well up in his eyelids, " I...I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I did it without thinking!" he pleads with me, looking distraught and appalled with himself. I want to punch his lights out for doing that! I'm not gay, dammit! I should beat him senseless! But I just can't do it... I can't lay a hand on his perfectly shaped face.
"Just, don't do it again! You hear!" He nods his head speedily. I cross my arms over my chest, turning myself away from him. What the hell kinda feeling is this? Why do I feel warm in my chest...almost like the feeling I've gotten with my ex girlfriends. I'm not gay! I'm not gay! I'm not-
"Yeah, he finally came out of the closet! I always knew that Flourite was gay the instant he stepped his foot through the school's doors," some guy says behind me. What? What did he just say? I turn around to face the two guys conversing behind me.
"Wait, what?" I ask them instantly.
"Yeah, didn't you hear, Suwa?" the other guy begins, drawing my attention to him. "Fai, the really flamboyant dude, he just came out earlier! He's totally gay!" And I think my heart stops beating altogether.
What do y'all think!? -3- Personally, I'm really liking it and I can't wait to write more. Please let me know what you all think. Review possibly? xD
So, hopefully I can update this more reguraly along with my other story...but no matter what, I promise that this will not be stopped...no matter how long updates take. Anyways, hope it was a good first chappie -3- Take care guys~