It has been a long day for me so far. A very long day. A week has passed since I had thankfully escaped the flames after Uther accused me of being a witch. Since then apart from the day after, I haven't spoken to Arthur nor him me. I miss him, really miss him.
He plagues my mind everyday and dominates my other thoughts. Except for today. Despite it being years since that horrific day, it still brings me pain. Today is the day my father died.
All day I have tried to avoid thinking about him, and just busy myself with more work. Morgana has been oblivious as to how I have been feeling and hasn't noticed the fact that I have been working constantly not allowing myself any rest.
Any rest will give me the time to think of him and make me want to break down. That will NOT happen.
Arthur hasn't noticed either when he walked past me in the corridors a couple of times this afternoon, and Merlin hadn't noticed when we were preparing Morgana and Arthur's lunch in the kitchens. It was at that moment that it then dawned on me that I am required to serve Uther, Arthur and Morgana their dinner this evening. Another thing that will keep me occupied. I hope...
I finish preparing Morgana for dinner. I no longer trust Morgana as I once had. She has changed for the worst. One thing that has proved this to me is the fact she was smirking as me and Arthur were being split last week. The Morgana I knew would do what ever she could to help me. Not be grinning like she had finally gotten rid of an enemy. But perhaps we are all her enemies now.
"There, all done." I say as I slot the final clip into her hair.
"Thank you Gwen." She says, admiring herself in the mirror.
"If you'll excuse me my lady, I must make sure the food is ready." I say retreating to the door.
"That's fine. Don't worry about me tonight, I managed to find that Anna is available so you can stay until everyone has finished."
"Yes, Milady." With that, I give a gracious nod of the head and walk towards the kitchens.
As soon as I notice her, I walk straight up to the cook.
"Is everything prepared for the King's, Lady Morgana's and the Prince's dinner?" I ask.
"Yes. The trolley is over there." The cook points behind her. "The food is over there." She then points to her left. "And the wine, over there." She lastly points to her right before getting back to making her dumplings.
"Thank you." I walk over, grab the trolley and fill it up with the food and wine and then make my way to the counsel chambers.
After about 10 minutes, I have laid out all the food on the table, placed the three plates and goblets and made sure the cutlery had been polished. I step back about 5 paces behind Uther's chair awaiting further instruction.
I feel pretty proud of myself for going through with this. Serving Uther after everything, even today. But one thing I am most nervous about is Arthur. Will my knees go weak at the sight of him? When I fill up his goblet, will he look at me drawing my eyes to his? Oh, those gorgeous eyes of his. The eyes that invade my thoughts.
I shake my head to rid myself of any of these thoughts as I hear footsteps and the voices of Uther and Morgana.
The pair enter with Morgana laughing and Uther wearing a smile on his face. It is truly a rare sight to see the King smiling. As soon as they sit down, I take hold of one of the jugs of wine and fill their goblets. I then step back and hang my head low.
After about another 10 minutes, it is clear Uther is becoming inpatient waiting for Arthur.
"Where is Arthur?" Uther asks Morgana.
"He had training today my lord. Perhaps he is just making sure he doesn't stink."
"At this rate we will just begin without him if he doesn't hurry up. I'm starving."
As if on cue, Arthur walks in and sits down.
"I'm sorry that I am late father. Training was hard and long today. The new knights are just about getting into the habit at last."
"That's fine Arthur. At least you are here now." I take hold of the jug of wine again and fill up Arthur's goblet. They then begin to eat.
An hour passes and a worst fear of mine is recognised. My father and memories of us together swamp my mind. I am just thankful that Morgana has retired and Uther and Arthur getting ready to because I don't think I can hold my emotions much longer. The sooner I get back home, the better.
After another painful 20 minutes of holding back the stinging tears that have been threatening to fall, Uther finally decides to retire.
"I think I should turn in as well. It has been a long day." Arthur announces as Uther is just walking out the door. It was almost as if he was aiming that statement at me. I ignore this either way and take that as my cue to clear everything away.
Within 5 minutes - probably a new record for me - I have everything back on the trolley and I head down to the kitchens.
As soon as I arrive in the kitchens, the cook is on me.
"Guinevere, I am horrifyingly tired after today's long day so I'm off home and you need to do the washing up." Wait... WHAT?! Me?!
"I can't." I say stubbornly. All I want to do is go home and sleep trying to rid my mind of the pain.
"Well sorry, you're not getting out of it Guinevere. After being in the dungeons for two days last week, you are doing this." Before I could object further, the cook swiftly left leaving me alone with the mound of pots and pans to clean. Just my luck.
I clean away the remaining food and begin the challenge of the washing. But after cleaning about half the pans, memories flood my mind and refuse to drain away.
Father teaching me the ways of a blacksmith. The times he would watch Elyan and I play with sticks as if we were in a great battle against each other. His laugh. The way he would comfort me when I had nightmares as a young girl. The courage he helped me feel within myself on my first day as a servant. Helping me make my first sword.
The tears from earlier are fighting their way out of my eyes but I remain strong. To try and let the emotions out, I take a pan and the cloth and furiously scrub. I refuse to give in to the tears. I am strong. I am. I scrub harder. I will not give in. I won't.
"You know if you continue like that, there won't be anymore pans to scrub." I drop the cloth and pan and face him. Arthur.
"Forgive me Sire, I was not aware you were there." Arthur bows his head as I was so formal. He hates it.
"Are you okay Guinevere?" I can't tell him. I will just burst into tears, I know I will. I turn around, pick up the cloth and continue to scrub the pan. "Guinevere?"
"You shouldn't be here Sire. If your father were to find out..."
"He won't find out." I move on to another pan and scrub hard on this one as well. "Guinevere." I feel his hands on my shoulders. "Please. Tell me what is troubling you." A renegade tear falls down my cheek. I have to tell him. Come on Guinevere. You can do it.
"I...It..." I scrub harder on the pot. But Arthur takes hold of the cloth and takes it from my hand.
"Please Guinevere. You can trust me. You do trust me don't you?" Does he really have to ask that question?
"Of course I do!" I burst out but keep my back to him.
"Then you can tell me can't you." I take in a deep, shaky breath.
"Today... it's the day that... my father died." I say and I can no longer hold up my guard. Salty tears now flow freely down my cheeks. Arthur immediately turns me around and holds me in his arms.
"Here." He guides me into the corner and we sit on the floor with me in his arms, out of sight.
Once the tears have subsided slightly Arthur attempts at soothing me further.
"You could have told me Guinevere. You didn't have to face the pain alone. You never have to again. I am here for you." A smile plays slightly on my lips.
"Thank you but it is my problem. I couldn't bring you into it." He places his hand on my cheek and forces me to meet my eyes with his.
"You know that is no longer true Guinevere. I love you and I will always care for you. You mean more to me that you realise and I want to help you whenever you need it."
"You really care for me that much." I say my thought out loud.
"There are no words to describe how much I care for you Guinevere." With his thumb, he wipes away the last of my tears. I smile up at him. "There it is."
"What?"
"The smile that I know and love." My smile intensifies. I sit up slightly so I am not basically laying in his arms. I place my head on his shoulder and my hand finds it's way to his neck and I absent-mindedly stroke his soft skin.
"There isn't much point in me saying that I don't want to run to you when I need someone and rather keep it to myself, is there?"
"None at all." He says as he takes my hand from his neck in his and places it over his heart. "You are in here Guinevere. Nothing is ever going to change that."
"You know what. Being with you is all I need to make me feel better Arthur. Thank you." I sit up beside him and lean into him, gently pressing my lips to his. His hand lets go of mine and he brings it to behind my neck. I slowly withdraw and he looks into my eyes as if he wants to bore into my soul.
"You're welcome Guinevere." He begins to stroke my cheek. "Why are you so beautiful."
"I'm not beautiful but thank you."
"No you're right. You aren't beautiful. You are absolutely mesmerising. So much so you could make my heart melt. In fact you do."
"Arthur, you flatter me too much."
"Because you deserve it Guinevere."
"Do I?" He smiles at me and draws me closer. His lips latch on to mine. I feel a burst of warmth in my stomach then spread through my body. I run my tongue along his lips and he willingly parts them. He then deepens the kiss and it becomes a dance of our tongues together. I bring my hands up to the nape of his neck and fiddle with his hair. He continues to caress my cheek and stroke my back.
Eventually the need for air tears us apart. I then rest my head in the crook of his neck and he rests his on my head.
"You most certainly do deserve it. You are truly something special."
"In your eyes, yes. Others may disagree."
"One day, the people of Camelot will see just how special you are. It is as I promised you Guinevere, when I am King, things will be different. We will be together if that is what you want." The smile on my face grows and grows. I look up at him.
"I want that more than anything Arthur. I love you so much."
"I love you too."
He steals another kiss from me and stands up. He holds his hands out to me.
"Milady." I smile, take his hands and he pulls me up.
"Thank you my lord. I think I need to get back to the washing though."
"I am definitely not allowing that. You need rest Guinevere. You have been through a lot today. I will find Merlin and he can take care of it."
"I can't let Merlin do that. It is my responsibility. Not his."
"Guinevere, please. For me." I look up at him.
"I cannot deny you anything can I?" He gives me his cheeky grin. I remember seeing that grin last week after he made me believe bandits were behind us when it actual fact it was a wasp. Frightened me half to death.
"It seems not." I bring myself into his arms for a final hug.
"I'm going to miss you Arthur."
"You'll see me tomorrow."
"Not like this. That's why I will miss you. I miss the times when we can just be ourselves, not the prince and the serving girl. Just us."
"Me too. But I will find a way so we can be like this more often, I promise." I draw back and place my hand on his cheek.
"Be careful though Arthur. I don't want to end up in a cell again."
"I refuse to let that happen." He turns his face and kisses my palm. "You have my solemn word."
"I trust you Arthur, more than anyone. Just be careful, we cannot have your father becoming suspicious and banishing me now can we."
"I highly doubt that will happen but if it ever were to happen, I would never let you leave alone. I love you far too much." I smile at him so much so my face hurts.
"I should go. I have to be up early to tend to Morgana don't I."
"Yes." He kisses me again. "Until the next time my lady."
"Until the next time..Arthur." I then leave the kitchens with a smile on my face.
As soon as I get home, I lay in bed. My mind is buzzing. When I think of the memories with father, they are no longer painful. More like an ache. This gives me the opportunity to remember all the times I spent with my father. Both the happy and the sad, the good and the bad.
Arthur really is the one. I know he is. All he has to do is twinkle those ocean blue eyes and show that smile that is reserved for only me. I don't need anything else. Just him.
Arthur.
My Arthur.
My prince.
My comfort.